Rose's POV:
My heart literally skips a beat as he reaches for his pocket, pulling a black velvet box out of it. „Shawn." I breath out, completely overwhelmed with the situation. He can't be serious, can he?
„Listen, you probably think it's not the right time with all the stuff going on but maybe that's exactly what makes it right. I know that I'm willing to do everything to make you and our baby happy for the rest of my life.
I don't know about you but I don't ever want someone else by my side. You have my whole heart, Rose." Shawn says, taking my hand in his.
„I don't want to be with anyone else too, but..."
„It's soon, I know that but I love you and then I just thought why not now?" He chuckles, opening the box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. Not too attention catching but still really gorgeous.
„Princess, will you marry me?" He questions while he stares lovingly into my eyes. I could see hope sparkling in his orbs, making me feel even more guilty for what I'm about to say.
„Shawn, I'm sorry but...no." I respond, holding back tears as I see his face fall. I just can't. Not now. Not when I have to be scared that any day, there's the possibility of me not waking up anymore. „I-I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice cracking unwillingly.
Quickly, I climb out of the car and walk away from it, not being able to face him right now. He looked so hurt but how could he think I would say yes? He should have talked to me about it.
Tears trickle down my cheek as I sit down on a rock at the shore of the beach. This is all too much. We were completely okey and now... I can't imagine how it must feel to get a proposal rejected.... but I couldn't say yes. Not because I don't want to marry Shawn.
I actually fantasized about it a few times already but not now. I don't think it's the right time, unlike him. I don't want to say yes when I don't know how long I have left. He probably also wanted to marry as fast as possible. But what for? Only to loose his wife and not his girlfriend? I don't see an advantage in it.
Sniffling, I wipe away the tears and stare onto the wide ocean. Some last sun rays creating a golden color in the sky. A sigh leaves my lips as I glance back to the car, guilt immediately rushing through my body.
Did I just ruin everything we had? What if he can't look at me the same anymore now? F*ck... what have I done?
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Shawn's POV:
Dumbfounded, I still stare at the spot she sat before like half an hour. I don't really know how to feel... I mean, she said no. I asked the girl I love to marry me and she doesn't want to. Wow. I was actually sure that she would say yes...
Should I feel heartbroken? No... it's not the end of our relationship. We wouldn't let a proposal ruin what we have, right? I still have to admit that it hurt how she just said no and walked away.
I guess, it was very surprising but was it such a bad surprise that she can't even be near me? Sighing, I glance down at the ring. She doesn't wear jewelry often, so I decided to buy a simple ring that's still beautiful. Maybe she didn't like it....
God, what am I saying? She wouldn't react like that because of the ring. What now? Should I give her some space or go and look for her?
Pressing my lips together, I reach for my phone and click onto someone's contact name who always seems to know what's better for us. It rings a few times until he picks up. "Hey man, what's up? I thought no phones allowed during the trip?"
„Hey Geoff, uhm... I know but I need to ask you something." I reply, stroking my hand through my hair. "According to how you sound, it's not something good. What did you do this time?" Geoff chuckles, probably trying to lighten up the mood but soon his laughter dies down in realization what I might mean.
„"You... you proposed to her, didn't you?" He questions and I hum a response. "And she said no? I don't believe you."
„Mhm, well you have to."I mumble, rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment. He actually warned me that it probably won't go as planned but I didn't listen. I was too into the idea of making her mine officially.
„Where is Rose now? Is she not with you?"
"She's somewhere on the beach and I'm still in the car. She walked away right after and I just don't know what to do. Should I talk to her or should I let her be for a while?" I question, leaning my head back against the seat while closing my eyes.
„Well... I think you should be with her. Shawn, you know that she loves you. She probably thinks that you are mad at her now. So go and talk to her." Geoff answers and I nod.
Realizing that he can't see me I murmur a 'yes'. "Just say it." I sigh, knowing he has been holding it back the whole phone call. "Say what?" Rolling my eyes, I avert my gaze out of the window.
„That you were right. I should have talked to her about it instead of proposing to her out of nowhere. I was just so excited... I honestly didn't think she would say no. Guess, I was too sure of myself." I chuckle, rubbing my temples.
"Shawn, she surely has reasons. Talk to her. It will be fine." Geoff reassures.
„I hope so. Thanks man, I'll go now."
„Anytime. Bye Shawn."
After I ended the call, I inhale deeply before hoping out of the car, grabbing a blanket for Rose along the way. It's completely dark and chilly outside and she's dressed in only my shirt.
While walking along the shore, my eyes scan the beach for any sight of her until I make out a small figure sitting on a rock not too far away.
Relief washes over me as as I recognize her beautiful hazel colored hair. Thank god, I already feared that she ran somewhere further and got lost or something. Slowly, I approach her from behind.
She doesn't move an inch but she probably already heard me so I carefully place the blanket over her back and shoulders. As my hands brush her bare arms, I feel how cold her skin is, therefore I gently rub my hands up and down to warm her up a little.
Still not getting a reaction out of her, I sit down on the rock aswell before brushing the hair that hid her face behind her ear. Immediately she turns her head away and I let out a sigh. "Love, don't you want to go back into the car? It's getting cold." I speak softly but again she says nothing.
Was it so upsetting that I asked her to be my wife? I feel a painful sting in my chest as she suddenly stands up and start to head into the other direction. "Honey?" I call after her but she doesn't stop.
Quickly, I catch up to her, clutching her wrist to make her stop. "Could you please talk to me?" I question, becoming slightly impatient with her behavior as she avoids to look at me once again.
„Let me go." She mumbles, attempting to pull her hands out of my grip but I don't let her. If it was so bad of me to ask, then she should say it to my face. "Rose, can you please look at me?" I ask, but she only continues to try to shove my hands off.
„I said, let me go." She repeats and I chuckle drily. "Seriously? You know what? Sorry that I didn't know that asking you to marry me was such a bad thing. You could have just told me instead of making me worry what's wrong for half an hour." I say blankly, more hurt than angry but she doesn't have to know.
Shaking my head in disappointment, I spin around but can't help to stop in my tracks as I hear a broken whimper escape her. Damn it. Why can't I stay strong for like five seconds when it comes to her?
I turn back only to see her kneeling on the sand, her head in her hands as she cries quietly. My heart immediately breaks a little at the sight in front of me, so I crouch down and place a hand on her arm.
„Hey, shhh. Come here." I coo, sitting down to pull Rose onto my lap. Surprisingly, she lets me and even hides her face in the crook of my neck like she always does when she is upset. I securely wrap my arms around her to cuddle her close and we stay like this for a while until she calmed down enough to talk to me.
„I-It's n-not bad." she stutters, light sobs escaping her. "Shhh. It's okey." I whisper, planting little kisses on her forehead while I soothingly run my fingers through her hair.
Sniffling, she holds onto me until she isnready to speak again. It pains me to see her like that and I already feel guilty for almost getting angry at her. The situation she is in, is everything other than easy to handle.
„No, it's not okey. I'm s-sorry. I just thought you hate me now." She croaks out, making me carefully squeeze her tighter. How can she think that?
„Rose, I could never hate you. No matter what you do or say, I won't love you less. Don't ever forget that, okey?" I ask, pulling a bit back to have a better look on her.
She nods and rubs her red and puffy eyes, a sob racking her body here and then. "I love you so so much, my darling." I say, leaning down to peck her soft lips. A tiny smile tugs on the corner of her mouth, making my heart flutter. God, she has no clue what she does to me.
„I love you too." Rose responds, causing me to smile aswell. "Let's go back and sleep, okey? You are exhausted." I offer, stroking a wisp of hair out of her gorgeous face. "Wait. I need to tell you something." She hiccups before taking a deep breath to prevent her voice from trembling.
Frowning, I give her a look that says she should continue as she starts to fumble with the collar of my white shirt. "You probably wanna know why my answer was no?" She asks, looking up to me shyly and I just shrug.
„You don't have to explain, if you don't want to. I respect your decision and nothing changed between us. Trust me." I tell her, my lips meeting her soft skin for a short kiss.
„But I want you to know. I didn't say it without a reason after all." Rose responds and I simply nod, not wanting to interrupt her.
„Look, it's not like I don't wanna marry you Shawn. I thought about it a few times already, to be honest. As you probably suspected, it's about the disease. I just... I can't say yes when I don't know how long I still have. I want to be excited about it, not scared that I might not survive till our wedding.
Also I don't want you to have to say that you lost your wife. Keep that for someone who you will surely be with your whole life." She explains, speaking out what I thought she would say.
„Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" Rose questions, her gaze meeting mine.
"I expected that already but... that's exactly why I want to marry you. It scares me not to know if I still have the chance to in a few months, so I asked you now.
Still, I should have thought about how you feel about this whole thing and I should have talked to you. I'm sorry that I didn't consider that. I get that you don't want to count down, the days, in fear something might happen." I sigh, resting my head on top of hers as she leans into my chest.
I feel her kiss my neck once softly, causing tingles to rush down my spine. I don't get how these simple actions make me feel like I'm on top of the world. I love this girl so much, it's not healthy anymore.
It's not necessary to have a contract or a big party or to be able to call her my wife to know that she is mine and the other way round. Of course...
I still wish she would have said yes but it's okey. It is definitely not the last time I asked her and god, I can't wait for the day to see her walking down the aisle in beautiful princess like dress. I just have to wait a little longer...
„Thank you for not being mad." She whispers and I smile, hugging her even closer to me. "I could never be mad at you for more than ten minutes." I state, soothingly rubbing up and down her back just like she loves it. My heart warms as I feel her lips curve into a smile against my skin.
„Can I ask you something?"
„You just did." Rose jokes and I roll my eyes.
"Haha."
„Spit it out, Shawnie." She yawns, sitting up to look at me. Biting my lower lip, I lift my hand to trace her cheekbone and down to her jaw before I rest my hand on her side.
„You told me you said no because of the disease." I state and she nods, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
„Does that mean you would say yes if I asked you again after your heart transplant went well?" I question, biting my inner cheek in anticipation as a small grin creeps onto her kissable lips. She looks down for a moment until our eyes meet again.
„Ask me then and find it out yourself." She teases and I scoff, while she stands up from my lap. "That not fair." I pout, crossing my arms but Rose only laughs.
Come on, handsome. I'm tired and we have a lot to explore here tomorrow." She coos, smiling sweetly before strolling back to the car.