I peel my eyes open, if it wasn’t for the noise coming from downstairs I probably could have kept sleeping. My eyeballs feel like someone stabbed them a million times from last night. I roll over so I can cuddle up to Luke but he isn’t in the bed when I do. I sit up and try to see if I can find him anywhere, I look at the clock and see that its only 8:30. That’s weird no one is usually up this early. I look around the room and notice that the suitcases aren’t in the room anymore and it suddenly hits me; they’re leaving.
I slowly get out of the bed and go to the bathroom quickly to wash my face of last night’s sadness. I look in the mirror, my hair is a tangled mess, I have mascara under my eyes and they are still red.
I make my way downstairs and everyone is sitting around at the table in the kitchen.
“Morning.” Quinn says to me.
“Hi guys, why didn’t anyone wake me?”
“We wanted to let you sleep.” Luke says when I walk over to him. “hey babe.”
“Hi.”
“Are you guys all ready?” Jordyn asks. “You have everything packed?”
“Yeah I think we’re all good!” Ashton replies.
“What time do you have to go to the airport?” I ask not really wanting to know the answer.
“Well the flight is at 4 so around 2 maybe…” Calum responds to me.
“Oh okay, so there is still some time.”
“Yeah.” Michael says.
We all continue to eat and drink our coffees in silence, no one really wanting to say anything. I for one don’t feel like speaking, if I do I might just be sick. There is nothing about today that I am looking forward too.
****************
It’s about 12pm now, all of us have kind of been doing our own separate things, scared that if we were all together things would get too emotional and we definitely don’t need that. Luke and I are in his room checking to make sure that he grabbed everything and all the stuff from the bathroom. I am tempted to keep something he desperately needs on tour just so he has to come back.
“Are you excited?” I ask him while we’re packing some stuff we left last night.
“I really don’t know how to answer that” He says playing with his lip ring
“What do you mean? You’re either excited or you’re not”
“I am excited, of course I am. I am also not excited at all.”
“Luke I don’t want to be the reason that you don’t have a good time. You deserve to be excited this is huge. So please be excited, for me.”
“Fine, but only for you not because we’re going on tour.”
“Okay, good!” I say smiling.
“When does the actual tour start?”
“Um, I think the manager said in about a week and a half. We make the decisions on the songs so that is all done, but we need to practice on the big stage and get used to it.”
“Well its good that it starts, it doesn’t give you too much time to overthink and get nervous about. I’m gonna find a way to watch your very first show.”
“Please do, I am sure there will be live streams and stuff. I don’t know if they will be for us or the boys but yes, you need to somehow figure that out.”
“Twitter is a magical thing Luke.” I say and laugh.
We continue to put stuff in the bag and once we’re all done its about 1:00. It will take them about an hour to get to the airport from where we are so the boys bring all the suitcases to the front of the house and we just wait.
All eight of us are sitting there, no one having anything to say.
“Can I just say something?” Michael says out of nowhere.
“yeah sure mate” Calum answers him. We all look to Michael who is now standing, and I must say I am quite scared.
“This has been the best couple of months that I have yet to experience. I want to say on behalf of us all, I fucking love you guys. I cannot believe the relationships we created. This is fucking stupid that you can’t come with us, because believe me when I say if you could you fucking would be. No one will ever mean more to us than the four of you.” He finishes talking and then he sits back down. I look around, Quinn and Beth are crying and the boys are just sitting there smiling like idiots.
“I think we need to hug it out” Calum says and we all get up and laugh. All of us come together in a circle in a big ass family hug.
While we are all still standing there not talking or moving the door opens, and James walks in.
“Hey guys, sorry to interrupt” He says and we all turn around to look at him. My face now stained with tears.
“It’s fine.” Calum says.
“Are you all ready to go?” He asks us. We all look around, no one is ready; but then again no one will ever be ready.
“Yeah I guess so.” Michael answers him.
“Okay, well I have the escalade so we can all fit in there if ya want? It’s in the driveway already. I’ll grab your bags.” He finishes saying and begins to grab two suitcases at a time taking them to the trunk of the car.
We all walk toward the car, Luke and I get in the very back and the rest of them figure out where they’re all gonna sit.
Everyone is finally in and James finishes putting the last few bags in the back. He closes the trunk and makes his way to the driver’s seat.
As we begin driving, I realize that the last time we were all in the car like this was the carnival. I know it really wasn’t that long ago but it feels like years. That night in a way started everything, so many great things happened that night. The way the boys had surprised us with that performance and of course other things. Without saying a word I cuddle closer to Luke and he puts his arm around my shoulder pulling me in closer and also making sure I don’t move.
As I am just lying there watching the trees go by us as we drive fast down the highway I can feel someone staring at me. I look up and see Luke’s eyes fixated on me.
“Yes?” I say laughing.
“Nothing”
“Why are you just staring at me like that?”
“I like to watch you think, it’s really cute and quite calming.” He responds and kisses me on the forehead.
“Oh, well I guess you can continue then.” I say and look back out the window.
As a child driving down this road always meant that good and fun things were coming. If has a family we were driving on here, there would have been a surprise or something that together we would be doing. Something fun. However today those thought are far off. Today, this road symbolizes a goodbye; a goodbye that I really don’t want to have.
I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket so I quickly move from Luke so I can check to see what’s going on.
I press my home button and I see that there are about 20 twitter notifications filling my screen. What the hell I think to myself. I scan them quickly, right away I notice that it is all fan accounts of the boys and a few other people. Majority of them are saying things like “You guys are so damn cute” and others are somewhat hurtful.
I unlock the phone and open the Twitter app. As the minutes go by more and more things are coming into my phone. I go through my notifications and a few things catch my eye;
“I hope you and Luke stay together for a long time” and “Luke needs me not you, please leave.” I am still quite confused as to what is going on here. It seems as though the fans know about us all now.
“Luke?” I say looking up at him.
“Yeah?”
“Did you say something on twitter about us? All of us?” I say that and Luke closes his mouth. “Luke?” I say sitting up.
“I may have accidentally forgotten for a second last night that we have fans and tweeted something….” Okay well at least someone other then him didn’t say anything.
“And what exactly is it that you said?”
“Look if you want” He says and I go onto his account. His most recent tweet reads “I really fucking don’t want to leave this beautiful girl. Gonna miss her like crazy” Along with a picture of the two of us from a few nights ago.
“Are you getting hate Aubrey? You need to tell me!”
“No not really, just a few tweets, nothing I can’t deal with. Do they know about the other girls?”
“I didn’t say anything but I’m sure people that have seen us all together are going to start saying things.”
“Should we say something?” I ask
“No I think that they will figure it out soon.” As soon as he says that I can see them reaching for their phones and having the same reactions. It seems as though the other boys have said something as well. In a way I am really happy that the twitter world knows that they are all taken, not that it’s going to stop some people. What is making this worth it is that there are so many people saying positive things.
*******************
About 20 minutes later we arrive at the airport and James goes to park the car really quickly after dropping us off. He returns with another man and a big dolly thing with the suitcases. We all walk in and make our way to the reception where they will tell us all to go.
When we walk in there is a few fans waiting to meet them. They quickly take some photos and eventually they are told that we all need to move out of the way for other travellers.
Next we head over to bag check and ticket check. Once everything is all clear there we go to security. It has already taken us around a half hour to do these very few things and I will be sad if I cannot get a proper goodbye in. I haven’t left Luke’s side since we have gotten in. Even when he was taking pictures I stood close, but not too close.
Security check takes the longest but once all of that is finished we are walking around to try and find what gate we have to go and wait at.
“For boarding heading to Los Angeles please make your way over to gate 6 and wait there”
A lady announces on the speakers. Great timing. We start making our way to Gate 6, we are currently at Gate 1 and they are quite far apart.
Finally, we make it there and we find empty seats in the corner and all eight of us sit there while James goes to do God knows what.
****************
We have been sitting here for a good hour or so. It’s 3:30 now and the boys should be boarding the flight really soon.
“Now boarding flights to; China, Mexico, London, and Los Angeles.” The lady on the speakers says once more, and we all kinda look at each other confused. We are supposed to have another half an hour.
There is a security guard walking back and forth and I go up to him and see what’s going on.
“Hi, excuse me” I say
“Hi, can I help you with something?”
“Yes actually, why are they boarding for LA. It’s not supposed to leave for another half an hour?”
“Well it seems that something that hardly happens, happened today. The plane as landed early. It should take about 20 minutes though for the plane to be fully boarded” He finishes saying, flashes a quick smile and continues walking up and down.
“What did he say?” Beth asks me as I come back
“He said that the plane came in early, but that it will probably take about 20 minutes for it to be boarded”
“Oh” is her only response to my answer.
“Should we say goodbye now then?” Jordyn says asking the question we were all wondering but too scared to say.
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to” Michael says and we all agree.
“Let’s do our group goodbye, I guess” Ashton suggests.
We all get in our little group huddle thingy and just stare at each other.
“I just wanted to say that I don’t know what I would have done if I had said no to moving in that day James came to my house with you guys. I would have beat myself up for the rest of my life knowing the kinds of friendships I would have passed up. I just need you to all stay in touch. I fucking love you guys with all my heart” I say and my eyes are welling with tears once more. I look up from my little speech and they are all crying, or starting to cry now too.
“Yeah, you guys have legit become my family. Please don’t forget about us while you’re on the road. Call us whenever you can and everything, us girls are definitely going to remain friends. And we have that because you boys brought us together. I am going to miss you so much, but when you come back to us it will all be worth it.” Quinn says.
We all hug it out, and I give Michael, Ashton and Calum a hug before going off into the corner with Luke.
We star at each other. Neither of us want to make this real. Without even saying anything I am crying, and not the hard crying the silent and worse kind. Luke is crying pretty badly at this point too, I wish I could form words to say to him. Something special since this is going to be the last time we’re gonna be face to face in a long ass time.
“Aubrey, I-“ I cut Luke off by moving my lips to his. Our tears falling down our faces and meeting in the middle between our lips. I deepen the kiss my grabbing onto his face and pushing mine to his. I open my mouth for his and the feeling is like nothing I have ever experienced before in my life. The desperation and sadness mending together in a perfect way somehow. I know people are watching and thinking “look at these horny teenagers that can’t get enough of each other’s mouths.” Honestly, I give absolutely no fucks at the moment, they don’t know the story and they don’t need to. Luke picks me up and I wrap my legs around his body while he holds me up from the bottom. Now that I have a better reach for his mouth we continue to kiss with such passion that I didn’t even know we had inside of us. I pull away for a second and when I do I see Luke looking down and the tears falling from his beautiful eyes.
“I can’t go Aubrey” he chokes out.
“You have to Luke, this is your dream. I will always be here; I am not fucking going anywhere. I don’t want you to go, but you need to.”
“I don’t know how I am going to sleep at night knowing that you’re not right beside me”
“But I will be, just open the window and look at the moon remember? Everything will be fine, we are going to see each other soon.” I say still crying.
“I am supposed to be the one comforting you.” He says somewhat laughing.
“I know but I am saying it to convince myself as well as you.”
“I love you Aubrey”
“I love you too Luke. I always will, please I am begging you don’t forget me.”
“I never fucking could.” I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him there. He tightly hugs me with his free hand and we stay there for what doesn’t feel like long enough.
“Final boarding call for flights heading to; China, Mexico, London and Los Angeles.”
I look at Luke once more and kiss him deeply before allowing him to put me down. He slowly places me back on the ground, which isn’t a good thing since it feels like my legs are going to give out any second.
Luke and I join the others, and Luke hugs Jordyn, Beth and Quinn once more while I give Michael, Calum and Ashton long tight hugs.
The boys grab their carry-ons before they head straight ahead of us where the plane is located. Luke turns around and kisses me once before turning back. Us girls are stand in a semi-circle watching the boys walk toward their dreams.
They hand the lady their plane tickets and once they are passed security they turn around and wave at us once more. Although it’s hard to see through the tears in my eyes, I can tell that all of them have tear stained faces as well.
We wave back and in a matter of seconds they turn the corner and they are gone.
We see the doors beginning to close and the lady comes back on the speaker.
“Thank you for choosing All Flight Airlines, have a safe trip”