F*ck, Marry, Kill
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"Well hello everyone, my name is Tyler Oakley and this is not my channel," Tyler said and Calum and him started laughing.
"Thanks for introducing yourself, now I don't have to do it anymore," Calum said. "Yeah, I'm here with Tyler and today we're going to play a game. Tell them what game."
"We're playing Fuck, Marry, Kill," he said excited and clapped his hands, "It's my favorite."
"I wanted to play the clean version which would be Kiss, Marry, Kill but Tyler forced me to play the dirty version."
"You know I like things dirty and your viewers do too, I'm sure," he smirked and I nodded in agreement.
Calum just rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
✧ ✧
After the game ended I knew that Calum would totally bang Marcus Butler and a melon.
See, that was stuff I wanted to know. I was thankful that Tyler made Calum play the dirty version, especially since I loved when Calum was swearing.
I wanted to watch Sam Pottorff's new video next but my phone distracted me.
[from: unknown number]
hey, it's isaac.. the guy you met outside of dunkin donuts. you know, i told you you look like your donut gave you an orgasm and now that i look back, it was a pretty dumb way to start a conversation please excuse me
"Oh god, it's the cute guy," I whispered to myself but I didn't know what to text back.
I really sucked at this.
[to: lukey poo]
luke help me please this cute guy who i complimented on his teeth texted me and i dont know what to do
[from: lukey poo]
text back ?? idk i'm busy sorry tell me if you embarrassed yourself later i have to go love you
Great that I could always count on him.
He was probably busy wanking to Ashton's selfies, how selfish of him.
[to: boy with great teeth]
well in the end you got my number so maybe it wasnt that dumb to start the conversation like that
I thought the answer was okay. Not too awkward, not embarrassing, just okay.
After he didn't text me back for half an hour I got nervous. What if I screwed up?
Why was I even worrying about it? This Isaac was just a random guy I met on the street.
But he was great boyfriend potential, so don't fuck things up like you always do with cute guys.
✧ ✧
@skittleshood: @CalumHood so you would fuck a melon, how about fucking me ??
Tweets like those were absolutely normal for me, for everyone in this fandom if I was being honest. We were all dirty minded freaks, fanfictions corrupted us.
No regrets, though.
I scrolled through my dashboard on Tumblr when suddenly a notification popped up.
@CalumHood favorited your tweet!
"No, this can't be real," I whispered to myself and clicked on the notification.
@skittleshood: @CalumHood so you would fuck a melon, how about fucking me ??
favorited by:
@CalumHood
@cassidymeh
@culthood
@holytroye
"You've got to be kidding me, this isn't real."
I started to randomly run around in my room.
"I think I'm going to faint, oh my god. Two weeks in a row."
"Honey, are you talking to yourself? Is everything okay?" mum asked as she was standing in the door frame, watching me confused.
"No. Wait, yes. I don't know. I just need some time to calm down," I answered, shaking. She nodded still confused and went back downstairs.
I sat down on my bed again.
[to: lukey poo]
calum faved my tweet again oh my god do you know which one
the one where i said 'how about fucking me' what is life
[from: lukey poo]
you know what i think? i think he wants you really bad bc damn he only faves the tweets where you tell him to either be his boyfriend or the ones where you tell him he should fuck you
I smiled at the thought of him being my boyfriend which actually didn't help me with calming down. It got me even more excited.
I didn't tweet about him favoriting my tweets. I didn't last week and I didn't now. It was like my little secret that only me and now Luke knew about.
And Calum, of course.
✧ ✧
@CalumHood: no #talktocal today! instead send in question with the hashtag #askcal for a q&a video i planned for next week! 🙊💞
Question and answer video?
No collab?
That was new, Calum never did something other than a video with a collab partner before.
I was happy about it, though because it meant that he would notice even more fans and include them in his video which was never a bad thing.
@skittleshood: @CalumHood what is your favourite emoji #askcal
@skittleshood: @CalumHood favourite song atm? #askcal
Those questions were pretty basic but the basic ones always got picked for the Q&A videos, it was really annoying sometimes.
@skittleshood: @CalumHood why dont you answer me #askcal
@skittleshood: @CalumHood why are you so hot im sad #askcal
@skittleshood: @CalumHood would you date a guy #askcal
@skittleshood: @CalumHood why do you make teenage boys and girls sexually frustrated #askcal
I shook my head at how dumb I was. I really needed to stop. My questions got weirder and weirder and I was scared that I would creep him out if he saw my tweets.
I closed Twitter and played some stupid apps until I got bored and decided to facetime Luke.
It felt like an hour until he finally picked up.
"What took you so long, dumbass?" I asked.
"Actually I didn't want to pick up at all but you wouldn't stop calling," he snapped back but not in a sarcastic way, more like in a pissed way.
"Woah, what crawled up your butt? Obviously not Ashton's dick otherwise you wouldn't be that moody."
He sighed, "I'm not in the mood for jokes and also not for talking about Ashton. He's a douche and I really want to forget him."
"Now you need to tell me what happened. You can't leave me hanging like this. What did he do?" I asked curious. I felt really sad for Luke, he was so madly in love with Ashton and I could see that he cried.
"I saw him kissing another girl. A girl. How disgusting. I thought he was gay and I also thought I had a slight chance with him. I'm so stupid. Of course the man of my dreams is a straight whore, I hate him," he explained and buried his head in a pillow. "He flirted with me, for god's sake. Why would he do that?"
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Lukey, but he isn't worth your tears, okay? So please stop crying and don't think much about it. I know it hurts but I guess he made clear that he isn't into boys. I'm sorry but maybe you should move on. I don't want to hurt you even more by saying this but I want to be honest with you. Go and get a better man, there's plenty on the world," I tried to comfort him.
"Maybe you're right and don't be sorry for being honest. Sure, it hurts but you're right. I shouldn't waste hours and hours by crying over a boy I can't have but my heart hurts so much. It felt like he punched me straight in my in my chest."
"I know, heartache sucks."
"Whatever, I'll get over it. I got my Ben & Jerry's, my best friend and YouTube. I think my heart can take it. Hopefully," he said and smiled weakly.
I smiled back and we started to talk about how Calum said he would fuck a melon.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Okay, so things happened.
WHY DOES CALUM ALWAYS FAVE THESE TWEETS HUH
Ashton broke Luke's heart? Thoughts on this?
And Michael thinks that Isaac is boyfriend material, what about you? (Well, you can't really say something on this 'cause you barely know Isaac but whatever.)
(No hate on Isaac, he's chilled and I love him even though I still don't know what he should look like lmao)
So many questions that will be answered next chapter, aye!
If you liked the chapter, please leave votes and commets :)
Lub you all and I talk to you next update, stay beautiful sunshines *:･ﾟ✧
(Don't be offended by Luke saying girls are disgusting but he's super gay and yeah, I'm a girl and I wouldn't be offended so whatever)