Rose
The clock strikes 12 noon and my parents sit together across from me again, this time in the dining room.
I stare into space and try to ignore Caleb's constant presence next to me.
Everyone sits awkwardly quiet as we wait for our meal to be served.
I didn't want to eat with them. After me refusing to eat all morning, my father had his men drag me down here into this seat. They're standing around the room just in case I bolt.
The maid comes out with our food and gently lays the plates of roast beef, veggies, Mac and cheese, and our drinks down on the dark brown wooden table. Looking around, the white walls seem to close in on us and the black wooden floor feels as if its falling from under my feet.
I feel shivers travel up my arms and goosebumps appear in their path.
I hate this place. My mind keeps wanting to pull me back in the past, back where nothing but darkness lives. Even the good times my family used to have are tainted by the actions of my father.
My eyes meet his and he sighs, avoiding my glare and leaning onto my mother's shoulder. She blushes and grabs his hand from on top of the table, bringing it between them.
I almost groan.
He used to beat her black and blue. I look away from them to control the flood of hatred that if acted on, might get me killed.
"Caleb told me to spare that boy's life. He said you told him as long as I do that, you'll cooperate." My father narrows his eyes at me and lifts his head.
I nod.
"He means that much to you? You've always been the selfish type, so for you to sacrifice this much for someone else... I can't say I'm impressed. I didn't raise you to throw away your life for some boy." He scolds.
"Don't try to act like you know who I am. I'm not that little girl who ran away from you anymore. You can say I grew up. And you know what's funny, you sound as if you want me to rebel and protest this marriage." I smirk.
I glance over to Caleb and see both his fist closed tight, his body tense as he avoids eye contact, looking down into his lap.
I scoff.
"I don't want you to lose that power you live by. The strength I gave you to be able to try and strangle your own father." He runs his neck, chuckling.
"You didn't give me shit. Only pain." I clench my teeth and take a deep breath.
"Pain that built you into the strong woman you are today." His soft attitude from yesterday appears. The one I don't recognize.
I look at him with confusion. Why is he acting like this?
It's like he's holding back.
"Let's just eat. Ok, honey. The foods getting cold." My mother remarks, grabbing my father's arm.
My anger increasingly grows.
"Aren't you mad?" I ask my mother, tightly holding my fork.
"About what...?" She mutters, avoiding eye contact.
"How he treated you? Did you forget? Or have you just completely lost all your self respect?!"
"Enough!" My father slams his fist on the table and I almost roll my eyes.
My mother visibly shakes.
"Why? Because I'm bringing up the reason we left in the first place? You used to toss us around like toys. Even now we're just dolls you're using."
"That's not true. Your father loves us." Her tone sounds as as if she's telling herself that, not me.
"You're fucking brainwashed, like this weak bitch next to me." My anger spirals out of control.
"Rose!" My father yells.
"Dad! You can't act like nothing ever happened. I won't let you cover this up. The wound you left still bleeds too much and you bringing me back here has opened it wide." I seethe at him.
He breathes heavily and glares at me furiously.
"Get her out of here! I don't care if she starves. Lock her in that room and make sure she stays put."
"Dont worry, I'll leave myself. I hate being around you and mom anyway. It's disgusting." I get up and leave, heading towards my room.
My mind crowds itself with memories I thought I had locked away years ago. I can't even think straight.
I need you Ryder.
Your warmth, your arms...
You.
I make it to my room and slam the door closed.
"Fuck!" I shout, getting on my bed and punching at my pillow.
Why am I the only one who cares? Why isn't Mom ever on my side? How does she still love him? How?!
I'm going crazy.
The door quickly opens and shuts, interrupting my thoughts. Caleb stands at my door, looking down.
"Get the fuck out. Just leave me alone! Can't I have even minute to myself?!" I scream, losing it still.
"Am I really just a weak bitch to you?" He whispers, looking up at me.
I sigh. Thats why he's here. To explain why he's not.
"Yes, you are."
He flinches like I hit him and begins walking towards me.
I'm not in the mood for any games today, if he touches me, I'm swinging.
He sits next to me like yesterday and says nothing.
I really hate this guy.
"What can I do to become more to you?" He breathes.
I pause. What?
"What are you saying?"
"I'll do anything you want me to. I'm tired of being the one everyone uses. I'm tired of being weak. I want to become worthy of you. I want to be strong. I'm supposed to be everything you want, but I've failed again and again, letting myself be used by your father and mine. I'm yours Rose, but the more I think about it, I don't deserve you."
"So...?" I wait.
"I can't let you suffer like this anymore. If I'm going to be used, I want it to be by you. I love you, Rose. More now that I've met you and even more knowing you're completely different from what they told me. They had you all wrong, but I still want you. I want to be on your side." He looks into my eyes sincerely and I blink.
Biting my lip, my emotions run into a conflict.
All I want to do is tell him to fuck off but I can use this. He wants me to use him.
But for what?
"What do you want?" I ask.
He smiles and grabs onto my hand, squeezing tightly. Depending on what he says next, I might break his wrist or just leave his hand there.
"For my help? I want your hugs and hands. Hugs for comfort and hands to hold. If you give me that, I'll do whatever you want. I don't care. I want you to think of me as an ally. One you can rely on." His hand trembles on mine.
"Are you serious?"
"Completely. I was born for you. I don't want you to throw me away." His gaze becomes sad.
This could be good. Really good. If I get some of his members on my side, we'll have an advantage. He's the son of the chief, they'll listen to him.
I nod slowly.
He smiles brightly and throws his arms around me. I almost push him off but his trade is clear.
My hugs and hands for his work. It's almost unfair. I get the most out of this. I won't question it though.
I hug him back and smile against his shirt. This actually helps me a lot.
I don't hate him so much anymore. He's helping me get back to Ryder and that makes him a friend.
"I'll teach you how to be strong, or more like you'll learn along the way. As long as you help me, I'll help you. Thank you Caleb, really, you're not all that bad." I say, in the crook of his neck.
He pulls back a little, still holding me but far enough so he can see my face.
He looks so happy, I almost feel bad I'm only using him for my goal. Ryder.
"Really?" He mutters.
I nod, letting a small smile slip on my face.
He seems stunned and pulls me back onto his chest. His arms aren't as warm as Ryder. Not even close.
"Your smile is beautiful." He whispers in my ear.
I awkwardly slightly cringe back. Ew, his breath is hot.
I nod.
I try pushing back but he resists.
"Just a little bit longer. Please, I've never felt so...complete in my life."
I nod again.
After a second, he pulls back reluctantly.
Finally.
"I need you to round up all the guys you think are most loyal to you. Thats all. Ask them if they'll willing to do amything for you and for those who are, they'll be our spies at your family's place. I'll tell you the rest after. Get going, you've been here too long." I pat Caleb's thigh and shoo him away.
He nods and grabs my hand, squeezing it before letting it go and going to the door.
I wave at him as he leaves and he waves back, closing the door.
I feel shock flow through me and my heart beat in my ears.
Caleb isn't a bad guy, just stupid.
I'll be back with you soon Ryder. I miss you.
I'll start up my own resistance here.
Everything's happening so quickly, but it feels like weeks since I've seen Ryder.
I'll be home in your arms soon.
I'll protect you like I said I would, using whoever I have to.
I'll become the leader my father raised me to be, leading an army against him.
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1.02M
2/12/19
Guys...we hit one million views.
I dont even know how to express how happy i am through words its hard to explain how thankful I am to you all.
What should we do for the million? You guys pick. I already have one suggestion.
I really have no words for how thankful I am. Its hard to say I ever expected to hit one million even at 999k you guys rock i love you all.
Rose is coming up with her own lil group.... What's gonna happennn?
Im changing the cover and the title of this book, a little bit after i post this chapter. I hope you all read this so i dont lose you faithful readers.
The new cover is in the previous chapter (a
) and the new Title will be Madam Mafia.
I hope you guys can still recognize this book and read it. It'd be tragic if you missed the end after coming this far.
Thats all thank you guys soooooo much again. I truly love you guys!!!!!
Ciao.