Minho~
I walk into the dining hall with my bowl of rice and fish. I haven't had this breakfast in a while. I slide in at the table beside Onew and take out the glass chopsticks. "I wish that they had hash browns here. This food is good but I need some starch."
"There is starch in rice." Onew says and puts food in his mouth.
"Not the starch I want." Jonghyun holds his chopsticks out to Key, feeding him rice.
"Eat up Kibum, you need your fish." Key smiles and eats it. I suddenly feel really lonely. My rice tastes really bland now. I start paying attention to what Jonghyun is saying when he mentions Taemin. "Apparently Taemin slept on the EXO deck last night." Onew stops eating.
"He did?" Jonghyun nods. "In who's room?"
"Supposedly Kai's." I grip the chopsticks harder than I should.
"Omo, who told you?"
"Sunggyu went to ask Kai a question and he saw Taemin sleeping in the bed with Kai." My skin must be turning blue because of how sad I feel now. "You know us Idols. We can't keep a secret to save our lives." EXO comes walking in. Kai and Taemin are holding hands, everything seems to stop.
"Minho!" Onew screams. I look down. There's blood covering my hand and it's still streaming out from multiple cuts. "Are you okay?" I must've broken the glass chopsticks. I stand up and put the pieces of glass that didn't stay in my hand in a napkin.
"I'm fine guys. I'll just go to the doctor's station." I walk away quickly and find my way through the twisting hallways. I knock on the door and wait. Dr. Jang opens the door and looks down at my hand.
"Minho-Ah! What happened?"
"I crushed chopsticks in my hand." We walk in the room and he sits me down in the examination chair. I open my hand and hiss with pain. "Aish."
"Minho-Ah, you need to be more careful. Hows did you manage to do this?"
"I held them too tight."
"I'm going to have to take the pieces of glass out."
"Go ahead."
"It's going to hurt but I'll go as quickly as possible." I nod. He goes through his medical supplies and grabs tweezers, gauze and rubbing alcohol. I hate this. I hate when I have to go get a doctor's help.
****
It hurts so much. I bite my knuckle. "Minho-Ah you're very brave. Many people would be screaming right now." I smile as best I can with my fist in my mouth. "Just a few more pieces." I grimace. It's horrible to get anything ripped from your skin. "This is the last piece. It's really in there so I'll do it fast. On the count of three." I nod. "One, two, three!" He yanks and I lean my head back quickly. Aish! It's terrible. "I'll put some rubbing alochol on and bandage it up." He does. It burns but at least it won't get infected. "I'll be right back. I'm just going to inform your manager that this happened."
"Kamsahamnida." He leaves. "Aish.. This stuff always happens to me. Broken ankle, falling while curling.." I grumble and sit back in the chair.
"Sunbae!" Taemin runs and uses his hand to stop himself at the door. "I- I heard that you're hurt." He breathes as though he just did a 10K race. "What happened?"
"Glass chopsticks broke in my hand."
"Are you okay? I came here as quickly as I could." I give him a small reassuring smile. I'm should try to be nice to him right?
"I'm fine." He smiles and I see Kai come to a stop behind him. Of course. He has to come just to be near Taemin. It's not my business. Not at all. Kai looks at me. He looks kind of lost and unsure of what to do now.
"I hope you're okay." He says quietly.
"I'm fine. Thank you guys for coming to see me. Doctor Jang should be back in the next few minutes." I think my voice came out much more harsh than I meant it to. Taemin looks like he wants to stay and knows I'd prefer it if he left.
"If you need me just call me." I nod and they leave. I grind my teeth and not because of the pain.
Taemin~
He didn't seem too happy to see me. But that small smile was enough to get my heart started again. I couldn't believe it when he smiled. He hates me right now. Right? I shake off the thoughts and walk outside with Kai. I think Kai knows what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. Why is that when I'm with Kai all I can think of is Minho? "You know Taemin-Sunbae, you shouldn't be so sad all the time." I look at him. He's squinting because of the bright sun.
"Huh?"
"I know I'm just a Dongsaeng and this could be taken as disrespectful but I don't like seeing you when you're sad. It's sad for me. A face like yours should always have a smile." I'm shocked. Did he just..? "So stop being sad okay? Don't even do it for me or Minho. Do it for yourself."
"Kai.."
"If I sound out of line I'm sorry. It's something that's been bothering me for a while." He leans against the railing. "Hyung, smile okay? Even though it may feel bad right now it won't always be. Look to the future and smile in preparation."
"You're amazing."
"And you're beautiful. See you inside."
Kai~
I lean against the door as I get inside. Why did I say that? It's Taemin. Lee Taemin. My best friend. All I can think of is what Suho said. There's someone who you can't live without their smile, you need to see them at least once a day but you want more than that, their voice makes you feel better and you have strong feelings for them. Who did you see?
I saw Taemin as soon as he said it.
I didn't tell anyone.
Partly because I was confused.
Mostly because I was terrified.
Terrified of what?
Terrified that he doesn't love me back.
Minho~
What does one do when they know the person they love loves someone else? What does one do when they have to be interviewed about what happened? They move on. They. Move. On. I walk to the interview stage and sit down in one of five chairs set up for SHINee. I see the rest of SHINee and Lee Goo Sun walking up to the stage. My eyes focus on Taemin and his EXO shirt. It has Kai's symbol on it.
They. Move. On.
The camera lights flash telling us that we're live right now. "Annyeong Haseyo! I'm Lee Goo Sun and welcome to Aegyo Fuyu! Today we're interviewing SHINee from the Music Festival cruise ship. Hello SHINee!"
"Annyeong Haseyo." We all say together.
"Thank you for agreeing to do this interview. Today you'll be answering questions that have been driving the fans crazy for the last few weeks." We nod. "Our first pressing matter is the TaeKai kiss." Am I the only one who goes cold when anyone mentions this? "Instead of taking the normal approach, I'm going to ask Minho-Sunbae some questions regarding this matter." I start paying close attention. "Minho-Sunbae when did you find out about these pictures?"
"The same time everyone else did." He seems surprised.
"Really? Considering how close you all are I thought you'd have known before hand."
"That makes two of us." Taemin squirms in his seat.
"What was your response to the picture?"
"I didn't care for it because I knew it would cause a scandal." I hope I'm giving all of the right answers. I hope they think I don't care.
"Is 2Min real?"
"2Min is real in the sense that we're friends."
"Is there any romance between you two?" I look right at Taemin while saying this.
"Not to my knowledge." He looks hurt. Good.
"Taemin-Sunbae." Taemin blinks away what appears to be tears. I struggle to find out if I meant to make him cry. "Is TaeKai real?" He shakes his head.
"Kai and I are just friends. We've been friends since before both of us joined our bands." He's taking the smart way out of this.
"An interesting situation we have here. Is there any romance between you and Minho-Sunbae?" He shakes his head.
"No." I stop paying attention when he asks Onew, Jonghyun and Key their questions. I guess getting over it would be easier than I thought.
****
"Minho open the door. Just for a second." Taemin says and knocks on the door. "Please." Why is he begging again? He waits a few minutes. I throw a rubber ball at the wall. He doesn't try again. I lean my head back and continue throwing the ball. "Minho open the door." It's not Taemin. It's not any member of SHINee. "It's Kai." Kai? "We need to talk." I press a button on the remote beside my bed. unlocking the door. He walks in and shuts the door behind him.
"What is it that you want?"
"You need to stop being mad at Taemin."
"What?"
"It was my fault. Don't be mad at him."
"I can be mad at whoever I want."
"Be mad at me."
"Oh I am. You're trying to take him from me right?" Anger burns in his eyes.
"You talk about him like he's an object to own and not a person."
"Don't act like you're better than me. You kissed my Taemin."
"He's not yours to keep."
"What exactly are you saying?"
"I came in here trying to be nice to you and be reasonable about this but I've had enough of you. You act like Taemin is yours. News flash! You two aren't even dating!"
"Our relationship is none of your business." He scoffs.
"Relationship? Right now you aren't even friends. Haven't you noticed that you never make him happy? Whenever he's around you or talks about you he gets depressed. He never smiles. It's because of you."
"Me? You're the dongsaeng coming in and trying to ruin everything."
"My age has nothing to do with this!"
"You love him right? You want him to be with you so badly it hurts to see him? He loves me. Not you."
"I'm not so sure of that." He moves hair out of his face. "I used to believe in 2Min. I was rooting for you. But then, I saw how you treat him. Like he's nothing but furniture or a prize to win. I hate it."
"You don't know a thing about him."
"I know how to treat him and how to make him happy. There's someone who can treat him better than you could ever dream of."
"And that's you?"
"I'm tired of this. I've decided I'm not going to hold back. I'm going to fight for him." I look at him, studying his face for a second. Is he serious?
"You are? Are you serious?"
"Dead."
"Yeah I'm very fearful that he'll choose you."
"By the way you treat him, you should be very nervous. Taemin won't always want you."
"Go to hell."
"With Taemin's heart in my hand."
Taemin~
I grin as Woohyun (Namstar) grabs me in a hug. I haven't seen him in almost 1 year. "Namstar!"
"Minnie!" His hug is very tight something I need.
"I've missed you."
"It hasn't been the same with my SHINee Stars." He lets go and we head to the SHINee deck. "I was so happy when I found out that SHINee would be on this cruise too. We haven't seen each other in months!"
"It's been horrible without you."
"So I've heard. Knowing Minho," He says and puts his hands in his pockets. That's a sign that he's uncomfortable with this situation. "He's probably really mad."
"Yeah."
"Does he hate you?" I nod. "Have you talked?"
"We got into a fight 2 or 3 days ago. He cut his hand and I went to make sure he was okay. That's it though."
"I can understand him being mad."
"Me too."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why did you kiss Kai?"
"I was drunk. I woke up without remembering that it even happened."
"I'm guessing that you tried to explain that to Minho?"
"He didn't want to hear it."
"If Sunggyo-Oppa did that I'd be pretty mad." He has no problem calling Sunggyu 'Oppa'? When I think about calling anyone Oppa it gets caught in my throat. He says it without caring.
"Yeah."
"But you're sorry." I nod. "Good thing I'm here." We walk past the bathroom and into the living room area. "Hey Minnie?"
"Hmm?"
"In the bathroom, there's a small towel. Can you wet it and bring it to me? I have a headache." I nod.
"I'll be right back." I run down the hall and open the bathroom door. I start looking through the cabinets for the towel. I can't find a small towel at all.. I walk back to the door and twist the door knob. It won't budge. "Hey. Is anyone out there?" No response. I hit the door. I can hear the shower going and I look on the floor. Minho's shirt. Oh no. This is not happening. "Woohyun-Ah! Are you out there?" I hear a small laugh. He's out there. "You lied to me! There's no towel in here but there is a Minho!" He laughs. "Namstar!" I say and hit the door. He locked us in. "Namstar open the door!" I hear a laugh from the other side.
"Not until you guys work it out, or find a way out." He replies with a chuckle. I can hear him walking away. I'll take this chance to make Minho speak to me.
"Minho-Ah, since you won't talk to me I'm going to force you. If you don't reply to me, I will flush the toilet sending boiling water all over you." The shower curtain moves and his head pokes out.
"Are you insane? People don't go around doing things like this. Especially when someone is showering! You can't be in here."
"Too bad. Namstar locked me in so I'll be here for a while."
"You two are... Aish, why do I have to deal with such people?" The shower closes.
"Let's begin this excercise. Minho-Ah, how has your day been?" No answer. I walk over and flush the toilet. He screams.
"That burns!! ARE YOU INSANE LEE TAEMIN?!" I grin.
"Are we going to try this again?" He doesn't answer and I flush again.
"AISH STOP IT!"
"How has your day been?" I asked innocently.
"Horrible. Okay?!"
"Now we're getting somewhere." His hand reaches out.
"Could you hand me a towel?" He sounds so mad. I give him one, our hands touching as he yanks it away. It gives me a shock. I'm probably the only one who felt it. "Thank you." I step back and sit on the floor with my knees up to my chest. The water shuts off and his hand reaches out again. I kick over his clothes, watching as his long fingers curl around the material. I can hear him struggling to pull on his clothes so that I don't see him naked. Not that I want to. Admit it, you've been wondering- I shake my head as the curtain slides open. He's sitting on the tile floor of the shower, the towel underneath him so he doesn't get wet. He's sitting in the exact same position I am.
"Can we just talk for a second?" He doesn't seem like he wants to. I wouldn't want to talk to me either. "I've never really told you how sorry I am, have I? I've said it but I really haven't." He seems to be ignoring me. "I'm sorry, Minho. I am. I can never tell you how sorry I am. I mess up a lot, I'm an idiot, I don't think before I do things, I act on impulse, I can never explain things until I'm forced to." I sigh. "But out of all these things I am and all of the things I do.. I can look back and see that I've had you to support me." He stares blankly at his hands. "You don't have to say anything. I know you don't want to and I don't want to force you." He looks at me.
"Why did you?" I don't know what he means. "Why did you force me me to see that this is me?"
"Minho..." He holds his hand up.
"Why did you, Lee Taemin, come and with one move win the entire game?"
"I'm sorry."
"You're not. I can see in your eyes that you're not. You say you're sorry and you are." I'm confused. What is he trying to say? "You're sorry for hurting me but you're not sorry for kissing Kai."
"I am." He shakes his head.
"You're not. I know that you had feelings for me and you have feelings for him."
"My feelings for you aren't in the past."
"I'm leaving now." He stands up. I walk to him and ignore the fact that the shower is slippery. I don't care.
"Stop."
"Taemin-"
"I want you to know something." I slip and before I hit the floor Minho's arms are around me, keeping me from falling. "T-thanks." I'm caught off guard. He's helping me even though he's mad. He seems to read my face.
"When there's someone you care about, even if they're acting like a bonkura or if the light's on but no one's home," He smiles softly. "You'll help them and protect them no matter what." I stand on my own and he starts to leave.
"M-Minho." I try to get his attention before he leaves. He doesn't seem to hear. "I l-. I lov-" I can't say it. "Minho I lov-" I can't say I love you. "Sarang-" It won't come out. The rest of the word seems to get caught in my throat.
Minho~
I open the door and find Taemin sleeping outside my room. He's such an idiot sometimes. How long has he been out here? "Taemin-Ah you are so reckless sometimes." I don't really know what to do with him. I grab his arms and drag him as carefully as I can into my room. His arm hits the door frame and he groans. "It's your fault for sleeping outside my door. What else am I supposed to do?" I get him to my bed and lift him in my arms. It's been forever since I've done something like this. To be honest with myself, I've missed it.. The feel of him in my arms.. The way his heart thuds when everything else goes silent, how close his heart is to me.
They let go.
I put him in my bed and stare for a little bit. How can I love him so much and still be so.. scared? I walk into the hallway and head into the living room area. Sitting on the couch, I lean my head back. Falling deep into Taemin's beautiful eyes.
"Minho?" Taemin asks as we look at the dark water, sitting dry on the sand.
"Hmm.."
"Have you ever been afraid of anything?" I smile at him.
"Everyone's afraid of something at one time or another."
"I've never seen you be afraid of anything. You've always been brave and have shown no fear. Not even on our first performance. What are you afraid of?"
"I'm the type of person who has to see something in person to know that it's what they're afraid of. I haven't come up with anything so far."
"Really?" I nod.
"It's kind of sad. Everyone is afraid of something and can bond with someone who else's afraid of it. I'm stuck alone because I'm not afraid."
"It's good not to be afraid of anything."
"What are you afraid of, Maknae?"
"The day you stop loving me." I grin and take his hand.
"Then you shouldn't be afraid of anything."
"I shouldn't?"
"No you shouldn't because that day will never come."
****
I stand facing the stage, my purple mask tied tightly around my head. I try to focus on who's walking on the stage but my mind is still cloudy from last night's memory. I can feel Taemin standing right next to me. All I'd have to do is reach over a few inches and grab his hand. I can't do this again. I can't walk down this road. It's not good. "Thank you everyone for gathering here. I see you've all stuck to the rules very well." Official Seong says and smiles. "Today is a bitter sweet day as it is the end of our cruise. There's been a lot of amazing things happening on this ship and on behalf of SM Entertainment, I'd like to thank you for taking part." We all clap. "This is a closing ceremony but it is also a celebration of someone. I'd like to say thank you to a special Idol standing in this room." Hmm? "A young man who just turned of age, he joined our label at the age of 13 and he's the lead dancer in SHINee. Can Lee Taemin please step up on the stage?" He walks to the stage and I can see the shock on his face. He must not have known. "Let's have a round of applause for Lee Taemin!" Everyone claps and he blushes. "All of us would like to thank you for all of your hard work. You've worked so hard to get to where you are and you deserve a celebration. Even though it's late, happy birthday."
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.." The entire room sings and a cake is brought out. Why is this happening now? "Also, we're doing something we don't usually do but because it's you, we'd like to give you something special. Can EXO please come to the stage?" I watch as EXO walks up and stands beside Taemin, some of them hugging him. Suho and Kris take center stage.
"Sunbae, we'd all like to thank you. You've been here for us since pre-debut as a friend, a brother and sometimes a trainer. You are the one we can turn to no matter what. On behalf of EXO thank you." Taemin smiles and EXO gives him a group hug. "Before this ceremony ends we'd like to offer you something. Because you're our best friend and our Hyung, we'd like to offer you a position on our tour." Huh?! "Not only as a dancer, but as a singer and whatever you feel you'd like to do. We'd be going to Beijing first." B-Beijing? As in China? 1 hour and 45 minutes away Beijing? That one?! The one that I can't just go to at anytime? "What do you say?"
"Thank you guys for the offfer! This is the most amazing thing I've ever been given. I'd like to-" There's a loud noise and sparkles, confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling. We've been told that when this happen, we're to take off our masks. I quickly take mine off and look to the stage. Taemin stands in the middle of a giant celebration on stage
hugging Kai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~''''''''''''''''''''''~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you everyone for reading this! I'm going to warn you, the next few chapters will change a lot of things. Not in a bad way (Depending on how you feel) so I thought I should prepare you. What do you think of my new cover? I worked really hard on it so please tell me how you feel! (It was really hard to get 'baby' Taemin not to fade over top of Dazzling Taemin) Please enjoy and enjoy the upcoming updates!!
~Mony Ruki-Sama