liked by imogencavelli, caseyvoss, sydneykidd and 458 more
samaracavelli the bridal festivities continue🥳
imogencavelli thanks for coming I love you
caseywright To think Imogen would be the one with their head in the toilet at the end of the night
imogencavelli @caseyvoss she actually never made it home😏
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For the sake of Imogen, I gladly got up and went out with her and her friends to downtown Toronto to some club.
It took me graduating high school for her friends and I to actually get along. Maybe it's just because I was always almost 4 years younger that they saw it as a reason to pick on me. Now, I was just hanging out with them because Imogen wanted me to.
The club scene never was the scene for me, but I made a promise to Imogen that I would let go and have fun tonight, so the first thing we did was take ourselves to the bar. Luckily, the drinking age in Canada was 19, so my 19 year old self was great.
After dancing for a few hours, Imogen and I found ourselves sitting at a table towards the side of the dance floor, but still kind of secluded from everything else. Sydney, Gabby and Holly all somehow managed to parter up with some strangers and were still dancing the night away.
"I'm glad you came." Imogen said, resting her head on my shoulder. "I'd be sitting all alone if you didn't."
"I know, I'm just the best sister." I said sarcastically, patting her thigh.
"You're my only sister." She said, laughing.
"This is what you call going crazy, huh?" I looked at her.
"Oh, hush." She hit my leg, shaking her head. "I had a good time."
"Yeah, I did too." I put my arms around her, hugging her from the side.
I wasn't gonna lie, just getting away from Miami was refreshing. Being with Imogen in a new place was the best feeling. I loved traveling but I loved my sister even more. So when I get both at the same time, I could have fun anywhere.
The club wasn't too bad. Letting loose and dancing around with Immy was super fun. Relaxing...in a way?
"Imogen, come dance." Sydney and Gabby had found us and held their hands out to Imogen.
"You've had long enough of a break, come ooonnnnn." They pulled her up and she looked back at me, stopping for my approval.
"Go ahead, I'm gonna get some air." I smiled and stood up, kissing her cheek before walking towards the door that labeled roof.
After climbing a few flights of stairs, I finally pushed the heavy door open and felt the cool air hit my face. I pulled my jacket over my shoulders and walked towards the ledge, looking out at the city.
I took a deep breath, looking around, realizing what I was here for. I was here to see my sister get married, meanwhile I hadn't had a boyfriend since high school. It started to feel like it would never come. My best friend had a boyfriend, my parents were happily married, even Casey's little sister who was in high school had a boyfriend.
Obviously that wasn't true. Everyone finds someone. I was just getting impatient.
I've never felt the need for a relationship, but watching my sister fall in love and now getting married just made me feel so lonely. We always said we'd have a double wedding, not that it would have happened anyways, but I'd always thought we'd get married around the same time.
"It's pretty, huh?" I heard a voice behind me.
I pulled myself from my thoughts, glancing at who had taken a spot next to me overlooking the city.
"Yeah, it's pretty cool." I replied. "I think it's one of my new favorite cities."
"Not from here, eh?"
"Miami." I said, looking up at whoever was talking. The air caught in my throat and I recognized the face immediately.
"I'm Shawn." He said, holding out his hand.
"Falyn- uh, Samara." I sighed, how was I managing to embarrass myself like this. "It's Falyn, but my friends call me Samara." I shook his hand and then pushed some hair from my face.
"Falyn." He nodded. "It's pretty."
I probably could embarrass myself more than I already did in front of Shawn Mendes, so let me put a stop to that right now. I'm sure he gets all kinds of crazy people in his face. He was just a normal guy on a normal night out, and I was just a normal girl, so that's exactly how I'd act.
"Thanks, uh, Shawn." I said, giving my best attempt at a smile.
"So what brings you up here?" He asked.
"Just thinking, I guess. Clubbing really isn't my thing." I replied, looking over at him. "What about you?"
"I meant to Toronto."
"My sister is getting married." I answered, smiling a bit.
"I like a little quite sometimes. The air is nice up here."
"I agree."
Shawn and I found ourselves sitting on a couch that faced the view of the city, talking for what felt like hours. I didn't even pay attention to the time.
You always see these celebrities and think they'd just be stuck up, but Shawn seemed so intelligent, with such a beautiful outlook on life. I could sit here forever and bring up any topic and he'd have the most intuitive thing to say about it.
Intuitive, but he'd always find a way to flirt. Unless I was just tripping and he wasn't flirting.
Who am I kidding? Shawn Mendes? Flirting with me? Yeah, right.
"Does it ever get... unbearable?" I asked. "The fame thing."
"There's times where I wish it would just pause and I could just breathe for a moment. Then, I find myself sitting with people like you and it feels refreshing. It's crazy sometimes, but I don't think I'd ever stop for anything." He explained.
"I think your passion for music is incredible. I wish I had something to be passionate about." I said, "I'm 19, have no idea what I want to do with my life. Don't even know if I'm gonna go back to school this year."
"Have you thought about modeling?" He asked.
"Definitely not." I snickered. "I used to always want to be a teacher. Help kids, but I don't know anymore. Everything in my life is changing so quickly."
"There's time to figure it out. You seem like a smart girl, I'm sure you'll figure it out. I know you will."
immy: where are u?
me: on the roof, met someone cool
Immy: we're leaving soon, want us to wait?
me: no, I'll find my way, love you
immy: stay safe(;
"Who's that?" He asked, referring to my lock screen of Imogen and I on the beach back in Miami.
"Imogen. My sister." I replied. "She dragged me out tonight for her bachelorette party, but I sat out on most of it."
"We had a better time up here anyways, eh?" He said, and I smiled.
I sat here for a moment, looking at his facial features. He was hands down the most attractive person I had ever seen in my life. His floppy, curly hair. His beautiful smile. He was almost perfect. Pictures were another thing, but seeing him in person was completely different.
"She thinks I need to be crazy, but this is as crazy as it gets." I said, gesturing to the couch we were sitting on.
"Uh.. Falyn," he paused, sighing as he concentrated on what he was saying, "Do you wanna go back to my place?"
"Oh- I, uh... I'm not sure that's a good idea." I shook my head slightly, looking away.
"It's late and I don't think you should go out alone." He said. "Look, I know how this looks, but the best songs come from being crazy."
I thought for a moment. Shawn was asking me to go back to his place. Usually when a guy, a stranger, asks that, they're usually just trying to hook up. I've never just "hooked up" with anyone. But, Shawn and I had been talking for what felt like hours, he didn't seem like a stranger at all.
If anything went too far, I'd just leave.
Okay.
"Um, I don't see why not." I smiled a little.
So, just in time for it to start raining, Shawn and I found ourselves walking down the street, him holding his jacket up to shield us from the rain that started to pour out of no where.
We got into his car and he us back to his apartment, us laughing at how soaked we were from jumping in puddles on the way to his car. When we arrived, it was just as nice as I thought it was, with a beautiful view of the city.
"Hey, come here." He said as we stepped into his house. He handed me a towel when he stepped out from the bathroom and lead me to a piano in the center of his condo. I sat on the bench next to him and watched his hands as they started to play along the keys.
I closed my eyes listening to the melody, smiling at how it sounded. I opened my eyes, looking at him when the keys faltered and he stopped playing.
"I can't figure it out." He said.
"Let me see." I placed my fingers on the keys and nodded my head for him to start playing again. I listened closely and then started playing from my side of the piano. The way the each key blended together made the most beautiful sound.
"You didn't tell me you played." Shawn said, smiling as he looked down at me.
"You didn't ask." I smiled.
"You're amazing, why don't you think about a music career?" He asked.
"I've thought about it, trust me. But things like that don't happen to girls like me." I replied.
"I never thought I'd end up here, Fal." He told me. "Take a shot, I can help you out."
"I'll think about it." I laughed. "I don't see us hanging out after tonight."
"Why?"
"I'm leaving in four days. We come from different worlds-"
"But your sister is moving here, so you'll be here all the time. We can still see if each other." He turned slightly to face me, resting his hand on my leg.
"Shawn," I shook my head, "I can't."
I didn't want to get too attached to Shawn even though I already had over the past few hours. Yet, here I was at 4am sitting in his condo at his piano.
I had never paid attention to him personally, just listened to his music when it came on shuffle, but listening to the person who wrote all of those great songs, speak; changed my entire perspective. I wanted to keep getting to know him. I wanted to see where his career would go after this.
I didn't want this night to end.
"If you really feel like that, then let's just... be in the moment now. Just know I don't feel that way." He said. He released a breath before, placing his fingers under my chin and slowly leaning in. He paused for a moment, "Can I?" He said under his breath.
I didn't hesitate, I just closed the gap between us and kissed him gently, melting into his touch. His hand found mine and our fingers laced together as we moved closer together.
I pulled away, looking down, "I don't usually- I don't ever do this. I haven't since high school with my ex, I just-"
"It's okay, Falyn. I understand." He said, brushing his thumb across my cheek.
Just let loose and have fun, right? That's what I was supposed to do tonight. I'd never see him again. Should I just do it? There was really no reason for me not to.
"Shawn?" I looked up at him and as soon as he turned his head to face me, I kissed him again.
"You don't have to do this," He said in between kisses.
"Shh, I want to."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up the next morning and looked at the ceiling. It's a shame all ceilings look the same because before I could remember the events of last night, I actually thought I was waking up to Imogen.
When I turned my head and saw Shawn, for some reason I panicked. I calmed down for a split second when I noticed his arms around me, but then panicked again when I realized we were both half naked from the night before.
This would've been so much better if we were just drunk and I could say it was a drunken mistake, but we were both 110% sober when this happened. I don't know why I was panicking, this was something I whole heartedly wanted to do, so what changed over night?
I even said I'd make breakfast. I peeped at the clock and it said 1PM. How. I know Imogen was looking for me somewhere. Someone, somewhere was worried about me. I mean, we were up til almost 6am, sleeping this long wasn't unreasonable.
I took a deep breath and slowly began to untangle myself from Shawn's arms, trying to crawl out of bed without moving as much as possible.
When I finally made it out of bed, Shawn had only rolled over to his other side, still sleeping soundly.
I picked up my body suit, shoving it into my purse and then slid my skirt back on. I would have changed out of his shirt that I was wearing, but I was terrified that he'd wake up. As soon as I found my shoes and my phone, I immediately made a beeline for the front door.
Why did I think this was a good idea? I know I agreed to this, but now al of a sudden I was freaking out about having sex with Shawn Mendes.
He definitely wouldn't miss me. Something tells me I'm not the first girl he brought home. If I just keep thinking these negative thoughts it'd be easier to leave the person I had grown to like last night. How intelligent and kind he was. So smart and had great things to say about anything.
Shawn was one of the nicest people I had ever met and I felt terrible about leaving him like this after we talked so much about what today would hold.
I couldn't.. I just couldn't.
After finding my way back to Imogen's apartment and getting in, she immediately rushed to me, pulling me into a hug.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Not answering your phone? Going home with a stranger? I was so worried." She placed her hands on the side of my head, speaking firmly to me.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry, my phone died." I replied.
"Who's shirt is this?" She asked, tugging on it.
"Um... Shawn's." I replied, quietly.
"Shawn... Mendes? Gabby and Sydney said they saw him. Oh my god, I can't believe this. Is that who you met on the roof? They're not gonna believe this." She said, getting overly excited.
"No, Immy, you can't tell anyone about this." I said, sitting on the couch.
"Oh." She replied, sitting next to me, "Okay, I won't. If that's what you want." She said, taking my hands. "What happened?"
"We talked for hours on the roof, then we went to his place, played his piano, had sex, talked forever again, had sex again, talked more and then went to bed and now I'm here." I said. "He's so sweet, like- Id never imagine he'd be like that, but I'm so fascinated by him. He's incredible."
"And you just... left?"
"Yep."
"Did you at least leave your number? It sounds like he really liked you." She said. "You had sex with him two times? Oh my god."
"I didn't. I just don't think I can get involved with him." I said.
"Falyn, you have to be dumb to think something like that!" I knew I was in trouble because she called me by my first name.
"It was just a one night stand, Imogen. It's easier if I think about it that way. It's easier if we both think about it that way. This stays between us."
I wish it was more than just a one night stand. I know it wouldn't have been if I didn't leave.
That's something I won't forgive myself for.
whew this was so long
im gonna leave and see what you guys think
love you so so much
see you tomorrow
all the love