2:27 am
Buck's heart raced, his breathing became erratic as his dreaded nightmares went into full swing.
Little Joy lay on her daddy's chest the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat that put her to sleep hours before was now pounding.
She woke up and rubbed her eyes trying to focus. Bucky lay in a pool of sweat his teeth cliched as if in pain."Daddy, daddy?" She pleaded, shaking him with her small hands. Bucky awoke, sitting up he ran his fingers through his dirty hair. "Detka, what's wrong sweetie?" He said breathless from the dream."You had a bad dream." She replied looking at him with concern. Buck smiled lightly "Thanks for waking me up." "Its ok daddy" The little girl crawled through the many covers and onto her father's lap.
"Daddy? Are we ever going back?" She asked sadly. "To see Steve and the others? Yes of course." He assured her. "No, I mean home." Joy corrected him. Buck felt fear overwhelm him. "No! Never. We are never going back to Hydra." Joy looked sad.
"Dolly, that was never our home. This is a much better place, it's like the little house we found when we ran away. This is what a home looks like." Her eyes stayed down as if she was being scolded.
"Joy, I'm going to give you the best life I can. I promise you. When I get a job, I'm buying us our own house where we will be happy."
Joy felt tears come to her eyes "Your going to work again?" she said.
Buck quickly hugged her muffling his baby cries. "Detka, why does that make you cry?" Joy swallowed hard and wiped her tears with her fists. "You don't remember me when you go to work." Bucky felt sick, he used to tell her he was going to work when he left for a mission... missions to kill before he could do the command task Hydra would wipe his memories.
Buck held his baby girl close. Seeing her cry wounded him deeper than any bullet or blade.
The rest of the night Bucky could not sleep. His daughter lay on his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair. This is no life for her. How will you ever be a good father? The thought stung like a cut, He was so scared of messing up this little girl's life, Yet she trusted him fully.
Morning finally came and Joy woke up to Bucky trying to figure out a phone Steve had gotten him a few months prior. "Daddy what are you doing?" Joy smiled.
Bucky looked to his daughter and back to his phone where he was in the middle of googling parenting advice, there was a lot on the internet, but " How to raise your forgotten 3-year-old who grew up in HYDRA" was never one on the website.
"Dont worry about it, baby." Bucky rubbed her cheek with his thumb. Joy sat up and sniffed the air it smelled like bacon and fresh coffee. "Daddy it smells so good." her mouth watered. "Then let's get dressed and see what it is." he laughed.
Sorry it's been so long and this chapter is so short! More to come!!!!!!!