I let myself relax for quite some time. I'm not sure how long I have been out here, but it's been a while. I hadn't moved and I still had to fight away some tears that came to sting at my eyes. My feet and hands felt numb. It was cold out here, but it felt good to just not feel.
"(Y/n.)" Hearing someone say my name startled me. I thought I was alone. I sat up, searching for where the voice came from. It was Professor Snape. He was standing directly in front of me. He was the last person that I wanted to see right now. I didn't hide my annoyance.
"What do you want?" I asked as I rolled my eyes, letting myself fall back into the grass the way I was before. At this moment, I didn't care about how he was my superior or not. I just wanted to be alone, and if he threatened me, I would threaten him right back.
"... Are you okay?" He was coming closer to me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face. I just wanted him to go.
"Please, Professor Snape. Just leave. I don't need you to confuse me anymore than you already have." I sniffled, not meaning to but my nose was running and I was trying hard not to let the tears fall anymore. I came here so no one would see me cry, but here he is, the exact person I wanted to be far away from.
"I just want to be alone," I mumbled. Severus was now sitting beside me. Looking over top of me.
"You're crying." I stayed quiet. I didn't look at him, instead, I studied the stars that were sprinkled in the night sky. It reminded me of his eyes. That thought forced a tear to come rolling down my cheek. I need to stop thinking about him that way. In my peripheral vision, I saw him lay down beside me. I could see him staring at me, but I forced myself to ignore him. That is until I felt one of his fingers wipe away the dampness that was underneath my eye. I glanced over to him, he was content. It actually made me feel better knowing I wasn't alone. We both then stared at the stars, a comfortable silence settling between us. I felt his warm fingers find my own. He laced them together, warming my cold hand. Suddenly, I felt the inside of my stomach began to flutter and my heart beat rapidly in my chest. Why must he do this to me? I pulled away from him, resting both of my hands on my stomach. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him look at me.
"You shouldn't listen to that Malfoy boy. He doesn't know what he's talking about." As he spoke, I closed my eyes for a brief moment, attempting to steady my breath.
"That's not why I'm upset," I said, my voice wavering. I sat up, bringing my knees close to my chest. I ran my hands down the silky fabric, trying to calm my nerves.
"You can tell me." He said, grabbing one of my hands again, trying to comfort me. All it did was make things worst. I'm so confused.
"It's you." Again, I pulled my hand away from him. It was quiet, I could hear the crickets chirping off in the distance. He was waiting for me to continue.
"You're just confusing me...I don't know how to feel when I'm around you, and you are so-... unclear with everything... I- I think you should go..." I rested my chin against my knees as I watched Snape stand to leave. Good. It's better this way.
"Come here." I looked up to see him holding both his hands out towards me. What is he doing? I hesitated before I accepted his offer. He pulled me to my feet. His eyes thoroughly searched my face as if he was taking in every detail. I probably looked like a mess. I didn't enjoy feeling like I was being put under a microscope.
"You look beautiful tonight (Y/n)" He spoke, with no underlying meaning to his words. He reached up, pulling a blade of grass out of my hair.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, knowing my cheeks were now tinted a light shade of crimson. He ignored what I said.
"Not that you don't look beautiful everyday... I find you quite... irresistible." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked at his eyes. The moon reflected off of them, making my stomach flop with anticipation. Every fiber in me wanted to run, but I forced myself to stay. I needed to end this, now. I wasn't going to let him play head games with me any longer... No matter how much I enjoyed them.
"Severus please-" I tried to avoid him by walking away, but he only spun me around to face him again.
"I like you in black." A smirk tugged at his lips. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I couldn't hold back my smile any longer.
"Thank you." I shied away from him as I stared down at my hands. My eyelashes covering my view of him. It was quiet again.
"I was jealous of Harry...-" He whispered. I barely heard him, but when I looked at him he was staring at me so intently, I would have thought he shouted it.
"Of all the guys who asked you, actually..." Now it was his turn to be nervous and unsure of himself.
"Why?" I asked. He glanced quickly to the ground before studying me one again.
"Because I wish I could" My breath hitched in my chest. He just admitted it. He has feelings for me. Now I know that this isn't just some dumb thing that has been playing out through my head. He stepped closer to me, taking hold of my waist as I wrapped my arms around the base of his neck. He then danced with me, to nothing but the soft chirping of crickets. It was nothing like the last time we danced. This was informal, he was holding me close to his chest, face close to my own. Out of nowhere, he lifted me off the gown, whirled us around and set me back on my feet. He rested his forehead against mine.
"I don't know why I'm doing this." He said. I stayed silent. I do not trust myself enough to not ruin this moment.
"I could lose everything." He muttered under his breath but I heard him quite clearly. I swallowed before pulling away.
"I'm not worth this..."
"You are." He wrapped me in his arms. He was hugging me, tightly like he never wanted to let go. I rested my head against his chest, the smell of potions, books and a sweet smell I can't even begin to describe enveloped around me. All I know is his scent drove me crazy if I could make a candle out of it, I would. Severus looked down at me, pulling away hesitantly.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? We don't have class." I said. Severus just grinned as he leaned down, bringing the back of my hand to his lips. Then he left. Leaving me dazed and confused as always. A broad smile plastered my face, I couldn't believe what just happened. I lifted both my hands to my face, using them to cool off my cheeks. Then my heart stopped. The dainty chain that covered my wrist was holding a deep red..... And it wasn't fading.
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