Tonight was the ball. I found myself dreading leaving the room, I really hope something good comes out of tonight. Currently, all I can see happening in my future is me, breaking my friend's heart. I'm really not in the mental state of mind to be handling such a burden right now. Though I was stressing about what the night had to offer, Hermione and I were having a fun time doing each other's hair and makeup. We had straightened her hair and curled mine. Leaving hers down and twisting my own into a side bun resting on the base of my neck. When I put on my dress my stomach turned. 'This was meant for him.' I thought. My mind was racing, I really didn't want to think about Severus at the moment.
"Is something wrong (Y/n)?" Hermione asked as I zipped up the back of her dress.
"Just a lot on my mind" I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding in. She then returned the favor by zipping the back of my dress as well.
"Well, let's get your mind off of things! We are currently a little over ten minutes late to meet the guys! So lets get going!" I could tell Hermione was excited. It had taken Harry basically forcing Ron, but he did end up asking her. Once he did, he felt stupid for not asking her days ago. Those two were quite shy with one another I've noticed. She grabbed my hand, pulling me through the common room and into the hall.
"Come on!" Her smile was from ear to ear. She was really excited about tonight. I wish I could have shared her same enthusiasm. She began jogging down the corridor, dancing around me laughing.
"Cheer up! It's weird seeing you so down!" She grabbed my hand spinning me around. I began laughing along with her. Only my best friend would know how to take my mind off of- well, you know.. We spun around each other, jokingly dancing as if we were a couple. There was no one else in the hall, just us. Most likely because we were both so late as it is. Hermione spun me away from her as we rounded the corner. Suddenly I felt something hit me, hard. I fell to my knees.
"What do you think you are- Oh, (Y/n)! Are you alright?" It was Professor Snape. 'Great'. Of course when I am trying to not think about him he just appears out of nowhere. Before I even realized what was occurring, I felt hands on both my elbows, hoisting me to my feet. I looked up to meet his eyes with my own. His touch didn't waver. He looked over me, scanning me with those prying eyes of his. My senses were working overtime right now. I was aware of each of his hands still placed on my arms. I was also aware of his eyes, I could practically feel him taking in my appearance. My heart began beating so loudly, I was afraid he might hear it.
"You look-" He stopped himself, suddenly realizing Hermione's presence beside us.
"Nice. Now go. You two are ridiculously late." He pulled away and rushed down the hall. I was frozen where I stood. Why? Why did he have to cause this reaction from me? Why does my face feel like it's been burned by the sun? How come when I finally to decide to attempt to rid him of my mind, he makes himself so apparent to me. I'm so confused. I don't know what he wants from me.
"What was that?" Hermione questioned, her stare prying into me. I couldn't find the words to speak at the moment, so I just shrugged.
"That was weird! I never have seen him act that way towards... Well, anyone!" She gasped as she fixed one of the straps on my dress, pulling it back into place.
"Is there something more you need to tell me?" She asked. I was still in shock from what just happened moments ago. My head is swirling with thoughts about Severus, and they all hurt. I knew everything I was feeling was meaningless. Nothing could ever come between us and I knew that. Even though he seems to like me, I think? I know it's wrong and he's made it evidently clear, that he wants nothing to do with- whatever this was. So why is he still acting like that?
"No- that was.. New," I stated, barely able to make the words escape my parched voice. Hermione smiled at me as she grabbed my shoulders.
"Don't read into that (Y/n), he's your teacher. Now calm down, your face is as read as a tomato." She laughed, pressing the back of her hands against my cheeks, giving instant relief from my blush.
I brushed the nonexistent dust off of my dress as we walked to the ballroom.
"You guys look fantastic," Ron said as he held his arm out for Hermione to take. She looked over to me, flashing me an excited smile. There was an announcement, telling the student's to join the waltz. Harry then took my arm in his as we walked further into the room. I'm not even here for a minute and I already have to be dragged to the dance floor with Harry. I don't think this is the best situation for me to be in right now.
My mind is going crazy, and at this moment, I just hate myself. All I want to do is go to sleep and just forget. I wish Professor Slughorn would have waited one more year before he retired. That would have saved me from this dumb, crush or whatever this thing I have is. It feels more like a disease if I'm being honest, I feel sick all the time with worry. Without even realizing, we had started dancing.
"You okay? You seem a bit out of it tonight." Harry asked as we stepped in time. I couldn't hear any music, even though the people around me looked like they were enjoying the tune. What is happening to me?
"Y-yeah, I'm just... nervous I guess." That wasn't a lie, I was. Just not about him. My stomach twisted again at the thought of leading Harry on. I have turned down too many guys, all of there reactions were hard to take in. I didn't want to see that same look on Harry. The look of not feeling like you're good enough. Causing someone to feel that way is the worst.
"Well, don't be. There is no pressure okay?" His words calmed me. Did that mean he wasn't expecting anything to come out of this? I took in a deep breath. Letting some air fully expand my lungs
"You're dancing has improved. Snape must have had it out for you the other day." Harry smile at me. 'You have no idea.' I replied mentally to his statement. Why did he have to say his name?
"Yeah, I don't want to talk about it." I tried to keep my voice cheerful, but it didn't work as well as I planned. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Usually, I can have a good time with any situation. I'm the one that cheers OTHER people up. I really need to snap out of this. Harry was surprised by my tone. I looked down at our feet, ashamed that I haven't been here that long, and already I'm not giving him the night that he deserves. Silence followed.
"So your dress looks nice. I didn't expect you to be in black." He broke the tension. I'm glad he had spoken, but what was that even supposed to mean?
"Were you expecting a pantsuit?" Harry laughed at my joke, oddly I joined in.
"N-no. I figured you were more of a pink, kind of person." Even though we were only half way through the waltz, I pulled away from him, folding my arms. We were now both stopped in the middle of the dance floor.
"You don't seem to know me very well Mr. Potter." I smiled. He was surprised I had pulled away from him. His eyes scanned the room shortly, he was worried someone would see. Did I just embarrass him? I didn't mean to. A broad smile then appeared across his lips. He took my hands, placing them around his neck. Then I felt his arms wrap around waist. He pulled me close to him, hugging me. My heart jumped, feeling uncomfortable. Not form the closeness between us, Harry and I have hugged several times. This was different. It felt... intimate.
"We can change that." He spoke in a hushed tone. I immediately pulled away from him.
"Harry," I exclaimed, but before I could explain my actions a hand clamped down, resting on Harry's shoulder.
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