Siyabonga
Siya's POV
It's been three months since I came back from Australia and physically my health is at its best. I can now walk on my own , my injuries have healed very well. My visits to the physiotherapist have decreased gradually, I now have to go once in three weeks.
My physical health progress has been relatively fast. With my family progress has been gradual. They were all very hostile at first , mom made sure to show me how angry she was. When I first went to visit them she threw everything she could get her hands on at me , yelling and crying. Dad didn't say much but I could see the disappointment and hurt in his eyes as he tried to contain mom's anger . Thabile's family was no better particularly her older brother but I took the brunt of their anger but as time went by they let go of all their hostility all but Sphesihle. He made it a point to express how my presence was unappreciated. He barely said a word to me and he was angry at his mom for quite a while but he must have gotten over it. The only person I saw him happiest was when he was with his sister.
Khanya is the only one who's never harbored any hard feelings towards me but I guess it comes with the beautiful innocence of being a child. She loves everyone she meets fiercely. I love it when she crawls onto my lap, places her chubby hands on either side of my face and turns my head away from whatever I'd have my attention on at the time to her and places a kiss on my nose earning herself raspberries all over her tummy which would fill the room with her squeals of laughter. I'd sometimes catch Sphesihle looking over at us in longing and sadness but whenever I call him over his face contorts to a look of utter rage before he walks out of the room.
Thabile still won't tell me what happened that led to my fleeing to Australia but I've gathered enough to know that firstly I left , I'd been living in Australia for the past 2 years but I still don't know the details and Thabile is not very forthcoming with answers and she although not hostile like Sihle makes sure to hold me at an arms length. This made my heart twist in an ache but I knew I had to be patient with both of them. I wanted to rectify whatever was amiss among us. I had seemingly torn my Family apart and I want to mend it back up.
Today I woke up to loud wailing and I knew it belonged to Khanya. I heard Thabile trying to soothe her as well as talk to someone over the phone when I walked down the hall to Khanya's room to see what was going on. I walked in and Khanya broke out into a hacking cough. I walked over to them and took Khanya into my arms and she calmed down considerably. "Okay, thank you. I'll see if mom can watch her. I really can't miss work anymore than I have." She said ending the call.
There goes that ache clawing at my heart again. Did she not trust me to care for our child? "I can watch her. I don't mind." I spoke up hesitantly causing her to look up from scrolling on her cell and the frown lines reasonably eased. " Really?! Thank you so much ." She spoke rushing past me , probably missing the shattered look on my face. I'm here, she can rely on me. I don't want her to seek help elsewhere before asking me and the disbelief in her tone that really hurt. I heard whimpering and I looked down at the sweaty and drowsy Khanya in my arms. I took her to the kitchen and tried placing her on the countertop to take out the flu medicine in the cabinet but she wouldn't budge so I held her to my hip and took the container that had all the medicine and a teaspoon from the drawer and took out the cough medicine and got her to drink it. I took off her onsie and left her in her nappy as she was so sweaty and cradled her on my chest as I made my way back to her room. By the time I got there she was asleep. I placed her on her crib and watched he as she slept. Soon afterwards I heard another scream. I rushed out to Thabile's room and into the bathroom where I found her trying to stop the leaking of water from under the sink.
She was wrapped in a drenched towel that covered enough but not much at all. I tried to not let my eyes linger on her exposed parts. "Thabile what happened?" I asked "I don't know I'm not a damn plumber Siyabonga!" She was frustrated. "I'm sorry Siya. I'm having a bad morning. May you please pass me my phone so I can call the plumber." There she went again overlooking me. "I'll fix it. Go and get ready." I offered. "No you don't have to. It's alright." She dismissed standing up from under the sink when she saw her attempts were futile. "Why won't you let me help Thabile? I'm here you can depend on me." That earned me a scoff from her. "Can I ? Can I really Siyabonga?" That made me frown. "Yes you can." I saw tears well up in her eyes. "Well I can't be certain Siyabonga. After 9 years together , 7 of which we were married, you bailed on me. You told me you'd found someone else and that you wanted a divorce." By now she was sobbing and yelling with her arms flailing around all over the place. "You left your son after he'd begged you not to leave. He bargained with you but you walked out the door like he didn't mean anything to you. He chased your car down the street. He's never wept so much. You broke his heart Siya. He had nightmares for months after that. You left me broken , pregnant and alone to raise our children. You never once visited or called so please forgive me if I don't think you reliable!" She finished off her voice hoarse and her eyes red and her cheeks red from anger and crying.
I hesitantly walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her and thankfully she didn't push me away. I held her tightly against me not caring that she was in nothing but a drenched towel. She held onto my shirt and cried harder. We stood there with the sound of the hissing water as it hit the tiled floor in the background as it flooded the bathroom floor. I let her cry until her tears subsided and when she'd calmed down I carried her back to the room, pulled out a comfortable outfit for her and underwear. "How about you lay down. I'll excuse you from work." I placed them in the bed and left her to get dressed to call her workplace and get the toolbox from the garage along with a mop and bucket.
After I'd made the call I made my way back to her room to find her snuggled in the covers again. I quietly went to the bathroom and tightened the loose bolt beneath the sink and mopped up the water, wrinkled out the towels that Thabile had used to try to block out the leak in the tub and carried them to the laundry room and chucked them in the washing machine. I decided to make breakfast and took it to Thabile with some Panado and a glass of juice. I woke her up and sat with her as she ate and taking the dishes to the kitchen when she was done. I diced up some fruit for Khanya and took them to her room. I gently woke her up , which led to another episode of her wails. I calmed her down and had to coerce her into eating half of them before having her take her medication. After that she didn't want to go back to sleep but was too sluggish to play around on her own so she clung onto me. I took her to the living room and I put on Doc McStuffins for her and we watched the cartoon together with her laying on my chest.
We must have dozed off because I woke up to Thabile gently shaking me awake. "Sorry to wake you up. I just wanted to let you know that I'm fetching Sihle from school." She said smiling down at a still sleeping Khanya who had my shirt fisted in her tiny hand. "Actually can I fetch him?" I asked looking up at her. She nodded smiling. It wasn't her best smile but it was more than what she'd given me in three months. Since her outburst this morning, there's a change in her, not that she now accepted me back into her life but she'd finally expressed her anger towards me. It was a small change but is was great to me.
She seemed to hesitate for a bit but seemed to have rethought about it "Yes you can. Do you know how to get there?" She asked . I shook my head no "But I'll use the GPS. What's the name?" My heart contorted in guilt when the realization hit me that I didn't know my son's school. "Cradleview Prep" I cleared my throat as I tried to remove Khanya from my chest without waking her up.
After finally having pried Khanya from my chest with just a whine in protest from her . I took Thabile's car keys and walked out to the garage. On my way to fetch Sihle I thought of everything. I finally understood why Sihle was so livid with me all the time. How could I have beeen so callous and uncaring. I left him and never tried to reach out or maintain a relationship with him. I messed up really badly and I needed to patch up our relationship and I knew it wouldn't be easy but I'd try my hardest to earn his trust and love back. He and his mom both. I'm ashamed to know I've caused them so much pain. I left Thabile to raise two children all on her own. I cheated on her as well. It suddenly made sense why my family even my twin gave me the cold shoulder. It unfair how I lost my memory and so I don't know how badly I hurt them but they have to live with the memories of how I hurt them but I'd earn back their love even if that was the last thing I did. I missed out on two years of their lives . I'm determined not to miss anymore.
I parked in the parents parking and just as I was about to leave the car the passenger seat opened and Sihle started speaking. "Mama May I please sit in the passenger seat today. Fiso's dad lets him sit there. I promise I'll wear my..m" he cut himself off when he saw it was me. I suddenly grew nervous. "Hi son." I greeted smiling hesitantly down at him. His face contorted to a look of anger but his eyes were as readable as his mothers. He was happy to see me. That grew the seed of hope in me. "Hi dad." He mumbled going to close the passenger door. "You can sit in the passenger seat but don't tell your mom or as she'll kill me." The spark in his eyes grew and the look of anger was now one that feigned disinterest.
I drove to ice cream parlor and we both got out and walked into the parlor and sat at a table. An old lady came to us and asked what we'd like "Double caramel, mint ,chocolate and bubblegum." We both said at the same time and the three of us laughed before she went off and got our order.
The old lady came back with our bowls of ice cream and put them before us. Sihle immediately dug in before dropping his spoon seconds later and clutching his head. Causing the pair of us to share a laugh again. "Brain freeze gets me every time!" He explained digging into his ice cream again but taking smaller scoops this time. This is the first time he's smiled in my presence. I've missed him, even though we've been living together for months now he's made it a point to avoid me or to ignore me if we were ever in the same room.
"Sihle?" He looked up at me with ice cream smudged all over his face. I smiled at the sight. "Yes babazi?" I could feel the constricting ball clog my throat. I missed him calling me that. "I'm sorry." He looked down and a sad smile stretched on his face and he nodded. "Please look at me son." He looked up at me with eyes now brimming with tears. A single tear left his left eye which he wiped away angrily. "I'm sorry that I left you and your mom and little sister. I cannot remember this but your mom told me about it. I'm sorry I don't remember it all. I want to make it better. I want to be in your life again. Do you think you can give me a chance to make it better?" He began nodding and tears flowed freely down his cheek and his body shook with sobs. I got up from my seat and went over to his side, picked him up and placed him on my lap and hugged him to me whispering how sorry I am.
My heart broke at how hysterical he was. How could I have broken the hearts of the most treasured people in my life? This just served to strengthen my resolve to fix things with my immediate family. He wrapped his arms around my waist that went just over the width of my chest and I knew this was a start for me. When he'd calmed down he move away from my chest and I wiped the tears from his cheeks before placing a kiss on either one of his cheeks causing him to grumble how unimpressed he was with that. I did it again now littering pecks all over his face making him let out guffaws of laughter.
We'd just parked the car when Sihle turned to me. "Babazi?" That sounded like music to my ears. "Yes Mfana wami?"
"There's a father son soccer game at school on Saturday. Will you come?" I nodded unable to help the smile that stretched on my face. "Yes I'd love to. I will be there!"
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There'll be a part III
Londii loves you