1 MONTH LATER
ALICE
Time flies so fast; a whole month had passed since that day in Joe's flat. Within a couple of weeks Carrie and I had managed to find a nice flat, only problem was that it was in the same building as Dan and Phil's flat. Moving day was tense to say the least because Phil volunteered him and Dan to help us move in.
What made the day tense was that a couple of weeks earlier I had released my first YouTube collab with the twins and well Dan watched the TMI Tag on JacksGap and was a little hurt/mad that I had kissed Finn after he had kissed me. I made the mistake of telling Dan that at least mine and Finn's kiss was mutually accepted.
We haven't spoken, tweeted or even seen each other around the building. Why was he so mad that I had kissed someone? He hadn't made a move and neither had I, maybe we were never meant to be more than just friends. But now we didn't even have that much.
Moving on from that little mess, its great living with Carrie because we were just so in sync. We had recently filmed the Roommate Tag which turned out to be pretty popular with our fans. #Calice was our ship name, yes that's right two female youtubers can't live together without there being something sexual between us. Phil found it hilarious, he hoped we'd take some of the spotlight off Phan.
On Carrie's channel we'd filmed a mash up of both of us singing both versions of 'I'm not that girl' from Wicked. Zoe and Joe were gobsmacked that I could actually sing. I had taken lessons while at university and had starred in a musical or two.
I still didn't know what I wanted my channel to be so it was pretty messy. I'd done a couple of collabs, I'd uploaded a few vlogs, I'd even uploaded an advice video or two but my favourite videos were my short comedy sketches with Jack and Dean, Ben Cook, TomSka and Chris Kendall. Apparently I had a sense of humour just like Joe, we are twins after all.
Who'd have ever though that Chris and I would ever become friends? We'd had our differences in the past but when it came down to YouTube each and every one of us were passionate, so that cancelled out some of the negatives.
Finn and I are still really close friends, since the night we kissed we haven't kissed or touched each other since because I didn't want to get his hopes up. Zoe has now turned onto the idea that Finn and I are better suited than Dan and I would ever be, at first I thought she was trying to suck up to me after the Caspar incident, but she was being genuine and supportive.
Zalfie are still going strong, Zoe told Alfie everything much to mine and Joe's surprise and although Alfie was beyond pissed, they eventually made up. Oh they have also made adjustments to both their work and social lives so that they can grow again as a couple. I'm behind them 100%.
My YouTube channel had taken off the second I uploaded my twin collab. I knew that my YouTube friends had supported me but it was the way that my loyal Tumblr following had taken it upon themselves to promote me across the internet bought a tear to my eye. In less than a month I had over 200,000 subscribers and that number was growing every day.
Another thing about having a large online following and presence is that when I started to receive hate, and I received a lot of harsh comments, my loyal subjects once again came to my aid and fought my haters.
I couldn't have been happier with how the last month had turned out. Oh I should also mention that I was verified on Twitter which Joe was proud of me for, because he was also verified.
I wouldn't turn the clock back, not for a single moment. I had a pretty decent social life and was doing something that I loved for the first time in forever. The only dark stain on my life was my lack of love life, but I had told myself that love would come last.
CARRIE
Alice and I were sat in our usual sofa positions, both on our laptops. I had to set off to the theatre soon but I was comfortable here. Earlier in the day Dan had come over to film a collab and Alice had made herself scarce by going to chill with Phil.
I had sat Dan down and told him that whatever drama him and Alice were going though needed to stop, because it was starting to tick Phil and I off. When Dan argued that I needed to tell this to Alice I told him that Phil would be having the exact same talk with Alice as we spoke.
What, Phil and I had been working on this plan for the last week and somehow we had managed to pull it off. We both wanted to knock some sense into our two friend's heads before they threw their friendship away.
'So do you think you and Dan will talk?'
Alice nodded.
'We're meeting tomorrow in the same place we first apologised to each other in, he gave me a cherry slushie while I was people watching.'
Ah that was just too cute; they had their own spot and everything. What I would give to be a fly on the wall.
NEXT DAY
DAN
I've never been this nervous before, I can't believe that Carrie and Phil managed to manipulate both Alice and I into talking again. We had both agreed to meet in our spot in Trafalgar Square. The fact that we had a spot to call our own had made Phil gush like a little girl. However we only came to this spot when we needed to apologise so it didn't hold that many positive memories, at least not yet.
Sure I'd been pissed after watching Alice and Finn admitting to kissing each other and liking it in their video, but I had let my anger get the better of me and Alice had every right to say that at least her and Finn's kiss was mutual.
She'd always be able to hang that over my head. If I could turn back the clock I would go back to that night at the radio station and change the way I acted.
To this day I've always imagined different scenarios in my head about how mine and Alice's life would have been different. Would we be together? Would she be making YouTube videos with my help? You can't change the past but you can change the future.
I went to the same vendor and ordered two slushies, a cherry one for Alice and a blueberry one for me. Was I trying to impress Alice? If I was being honest with myself then yes I was.
Luckily Trafalgar Square wasn't that crowded so it was easy to locate Alice. She was sat with her notebook and was jotting down an argument between a young couple a few yards away from her. I chuckled and made my way over; this was going exactly like it happened last time.
'You call it people watching Alice; some people would call you a creeper.'
Alice laughed at my remark and tucked her notebook back into her bag. I had missed hearing her laugh.
'No one has ever called me a creeper Dan.'
'Slushie, cherry your favourite.'
ALICE
'Slushie, cherry your favourite.'
My heart did a little jump in my chest as Dan produced a cherry slushie and handed it to me. Just like the last time we had fallen out but then he does something sweet and I can no longer be mad at him.
Was this a good thing though? If every time we argued, called each other names or even fell out, if all it took was a single slushie to remind me why he was my first YouTube crush and to forget the pain we seemed to inflict on each other, then that wasn't healthy.
We never really talked out our issues and problems. We either ignored each other or just made up without ever saying how we really felt. This could never be a healthy relationship and I was only now realising this.
'Dan we need to talk. We can't keep doing this.'
DAN
'Dan we need to talk. We can't keep doing this.'
Alice's expression changed from light hearted to serious. What did we need to talk about? We never talked; we just always went back to being friends.
'What is there to talk about Alice?'
She placed her slushie to the side and sighed before running a hand through her hair.
'Us, everything really. Whenever we get on each other's bad side we ignore each other for a bit and then snap our fingers and become friends again. We never talk about the pain we inflict on each other, we brush it under the rug. People keep telling me that we're the same person but lately that feels like a bad thing.'
I had come here today wanting to apologise and maybe with a little luck win her back. I couldn't compete with Finn bloody Harries, the better twin as he was known on the internet. But Alice was making a good point about how our relationship worked. I didn't want to read too deep into her words because I still had a glimmer of hope for us.
'Dan, do you understand what I'm saying?'
I was unable to form a sentence so I just nodded. She continued talking.
'I know you were mad when I kissed Finn but I'll tell you what I told him. I have a lot of issues in my life right now and I'm not going to even consider my love life until my life is back on a normal track.'
'Are you with Ben or Jack Howard?'
I regretted the words the second they left my lips. Alice's serious face turned into a scowl, my words had hit a nerve, but if there was nothing going on in that department then why was she getting so worked up?
'What makes you think that Dan?'
I scoffed, 'you've been on YouTube no more than a month and you already appear in their sketches or short films. Most of the time you play the love interest and I'm wondering if that interest has made it outside the camera.'
She snorted and folded her arms over her chest.
'Nothing's going on Daniel but you sound jealous, are you? Ben is like an older brother to me and Jack just understands my crazy ideas, and for your information it's called acting.'
'You like having all these youtubers fawn all over you don't you Alice? All the attention you're finally getting after being in your siblings shadows for so long. I might have lost a close friend because you can't make up your mind which male youtuber you want to get with. You get called a whore and a slag in your comments, but maybe they're all true.'
The next couple of seconds went by in a blur, I felt a searing hot pain across my cheek, my vision went slightly blurry but through the blur I could make out a pissed off and upset Alice. I had just called her a slag and a whore to her face. Did I mean to call her those names? Maybe, was it a spur of the moment thing? Yes, should I apologise?
'I can't even look at you anymore Dan, I'm not a whore and I'll have you know that I'm a virgin. I do get hate but my friends should be there to comfort me, not to degrade me even more. I hope you and PJ are happy together, you're both cut from the same cloth.'
ALICE
I slapped him again just to release some pent up anger. I didn't deserve to be called those names when I hadn't done anything wrong in the first place.
'Oh my god you're Dan Howell, are you okay? What did this bitch do to you?'
I stood up coming face to face with Amy, the tall girl who a month earlier had called me rude names in front of Carrie. Of course this bitch would be the one fan to show up. I didn't exactly come face to face with her because well I was shorter than her. It was more a figure of speech.
'Excuse me Amy but I'm not a bitch. Dan will be fine give or take some of this ego. And he got off easy if you ask me, I could easily have broken or bruised something but he's too damm pretty.'
I picked up my slushie and flipped off the lid before pouring it over Dan's head. He spluttered and cursed, Amy stared daggers at me but I didn't care anymore.
'Dan, I don't think I like cherry anymore.'
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