You
I let out a sigh of relief when the bell rang. If another sleep-inducing word came out of the teacher's mouth beforehand I wouldn't be able to survive that class. It didn't help that I got less than eight hours of sleep last night. I probably didn't sleep at all, with what was going on downstairs.
The contrasting sounds of the cafeteria will probably wake me up, I thought, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.
As soon as I stepped out of the room, two girls and a couple of guys found their way to me. They were also freshmen.
I prayed that there was someone else behind me and they were just waiting for them. However, this also could be my chance to make some kind of friend or at least an acquaintance.
"Can I help you?" I slowly and awkwardly asked as I stopped in front of them.
The girl with long brown hair crossed her arms. "I think you're in my math class, right?"
I recognized her, so most likely. "Maybe," I said shrugging. If she was gonna be only one talking, why did she need the other people behind her?
"So you did the homework?"
The school was infamous for giving seemingly copious amounts of homework as early as the first week. It didn't matter if you were a young freshmen or an experienced senior.
I reached into my pocket for my phone just in case I needed an excuse to make an exit if this went too far in any way, shape, or form. "Uh, yea. I'm pretty sure."
She snickered quietly while glancing behind her at what looked like her boyfriend, who returned a smirk. If her hair was longer, it would've swept over my face probably. She turned back to me.
"Where is it?"
She sounded as desperate as a client asking for crack.
"Why do you need to know?" I asked.
"I'll pay if you let us see it." Ah, I see where this is going. They obviously didn't do it, and I didn't want to have to deal with this right now.
"Yea, no thanks," I shook my head and walked right past them, starting my way down the hall. I didn't bother to check if they were following me, but all I heard was a "Hey!" and a "The hell?"
I hated myself for being so easily trusting.
I turned on my phone and stared at the time. I had about less than fifteen minutes to eat a lunch, and it was not gonna be in the cafeteria where they were. Or anyone. Paying attention to my dad's reminder was going to have to wait.
I stopped in front of a door in a hallway that was slowly being cleared out. Looking around cautiously, I pushed it open. I was outside, and the door shut before any more sunlight got in.
Looking around, I realized I was on the side of the school. I expected other people to be here, like hardcore stoners or other people making deals relating to homework. But it was just me. The ground was lined with a mix of dusty gravel and little sprouts of grass.
While kicking some pebbles, I leaned up against the brick wall and slowly slid down to sit. This reminded me too much of the area below near my bedroom window. For this, though, I didn't have to climb a ladder, luckily.
I already liked this place.
•••
To give my ears a break, I took out my earbuds and turned off my phone for a bit. After all, I needed the battery to survive the airport and flight. I leaned my head against the window and observed the passing cars beside us.
"How long now?" I tilted my head and asked my dad.
"Not too long; about ten minutes maybe." He turned down a blaring radio station, still concentrating on the road.
I nodded and bit my inner cheek.
"You know where to go, right?" He asked again. Ever since I started packing up, that was Dad's go-to question.
Do you know which airline you're taking? Do you know your terminal? Do you remember how to get through security? Remember to ask if you need to take off your shoes!
It's like he was watching me take my first steps. In a way, I was. I was taking an even bigger step. A bigger step that's out of state.
But I just nodded again, smiling at him. "I'm positive."
"I just don't want you getting on the wrong plane and ending up like Kevin from-"
"From Home Alone 2, right. I know."
Soon, I'd be on that plane leaving everything that I've known. It was a scary thought, but at least I was able to get to sleep last night. It seemed like seconds ago I was on my way to the drugstore to get myself to sleep. Seconds ago I had to look at Derek again when I thought he was long gone. Seconds ago since I was at that park with Connor.
Connor Murphy. That fucking Connor Murphy.
My chest still tightened at the thought of him. Like I was more than smitten for that beautiful boy all over again.
"What's up with you?" Dad asked, returning to the road after taking a glance at me. Maybe I had that stupid and shitty grin on my face.
"I'm feeling emotions."
"Got it." He chuckled.
Then I thought more, and I realized Connor said he'd be coming to see me at the airport. I realized I never gave him the time when I was leaving.
"Shit," I muttered, quickly opening my phone. I would be at the airport soon. What if I'll be boarding and Connor would be just leaving? I'll be on the plane and he would get there and end up wasting his time because of me. That's literally what's gonna fucking happen.
A new message popped up on my screen.
Connor- hey how far are you to the airport
I relaxed only a little bit. He was already aware, but I was still anxious. I quickly replied back.
Me- not far
Connor- shit
Me- im sorry con
Connor- for what?
Me- for not giving you the time i was leaving
Connor- oh, yea that would've been a little helpful
Me- yea just a little though
I hoped someone else was driving and Connor wasn't driving through roads with one hand texting.
In what seemed like mere seconds, we finally got to the airport. Dad navigated his way through the parking area and settled in one of the only spots left. It was still summer for most, so people were still traveling.
"Y/N?" Dad touched my arm and I lifted my head off the window. I must've stayed like that for a while. "You ready kiddo?"
Slowly nodding with a small smile, I exited the car. I gathered my things with the help of my father, keeping an eye out for a certain car pulling in.
At this point, it probably won't be possible for him to get here.
We entered the airport and Dad helped me check in. So far, I didn't see any other people who might be traveling out of state for college or university. I wasn't the odd one out, though. There were other people with more than one luggage traveling alone.
"This for college, young lady?" The woman behind the desk asked while tying a tag on the handle of my luggage.
"Oh, uh, yea,"
She returned a smile and handed me a boarding pass. "Good luck out there."
I anxiously held my dad's hand as we got to the area in front of the security check. I was just like a little kid stepping into kindergarten or preschool for the first time. It was a similar situation, but instead of the two, it was adulthood. Either way, I wasn't gonna know what to expect.
With my boarding pass and the rest of my stuff on me, I turned to my dad as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Y/N L/N, I am so proud of you." He was trying his hardest to fight back a small tear, all through a proud smile.
"Thank's Dad," My own eyes started to water and I pulled him into a deep hug. He deserved more credit for raising me. He will never stop being my role model. "I'm gonna miss you."
He planted a kiss on my forehead. "I'll miss you more. I hope what I gave you was enough at least."
"Are you kidding?" I tightened my arms around him. "It's more than enough. Don't say that it wasn't, please."
When I looked up, his face was a mess with tears. "Do you're best out there okay?"
"Okay."
I let go and wiped my eyes, clearing my blurred vision. That's when I heard someone calling out farther away.
"Y/N!"
Dad looked behind him. He turned back to me with a weak smile. "Look's like you're not leaving yet."
My shaking hand raised slightly over my mouth. As Zoe came rushing over with Connor by her side. "Y/N! Oh my god-"
Panting from being out of breath, she quickly engulfed her arms around me and I returned the embrace. "Zoe! You guys.. you're- you're here..!"
"Connor reminded us!" Zoe pulled back with a beaming smile, proud like my father's. "I'm glad he did. Hey, be cool out there alright?"
I nodded thankfully and hugged her tightly again, wiping a tear from my face. "I'll try to. Thank you, Zoe."
After she let go, I walked over to Connor, who was a couple steps back and met his deep eyes that would normally give one a cold stare.
"You're kinda an asshole, you know that?" With crossed arms, he scoffed through a shaky breath.
I chuckled while quickly wiping another tear away. "And why is that?"
I was itching to wrap my arms around him for one last time. Just this once, I desperately wanted time to freeze just so we could stand in each other's presence for a while longer.
With every word, he stepped towards me. "Oh you know, for inviting me to that damn spot of yours at school. And making it lead to this. And- Goddammit," He choked back a sob, "For wanting to love me and making me feel this way..."
"Connor," I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say so many things and nothing at all at the same time. It would all end up as gibberish anyway. Would it matter to him?
"I didn't know it- it was gonna lead to this." I covered my mouth after another airy laugh.
I'm so fucking happy it did. More than that. A million times more than that.
I expected him to say something like "Because you made me run all the way over here just so you could leave" Or anything along the lines of that. But he didn't and part of me wished he did so I didn't have to shed more tears than I planned.
Fuck that.
"And now you're leaving and you have to face this mess," Connor pointed to himself with a half smile.
"Don't say that, you're amazing." I said and stepped closer to him before wrapping my arms around him, tearing up on his black shirt. My hand found its way to his hair.
His heart was going a mile a minute but he was running. Connor's arms tightly engulfed me, as if we couldn't pull each other close enough.
"I'm gonna miss you so damn much,
Y/N," Connor said, voice shaking.
"I'll miss you a million times more."
"Not possible."
"Then I'll make it fucking possible," I said, looking at him lovingly and moving the hair falling in front of him to see him better. Connor's glossy eyes stared deeply into mine. Our arms were still clinging to each other, fearing one of us would disappear if we let go.
I touched his lips with mine, and he didn't hesitate to return the kiss. His soft hands rushed to cup my wet face before he pulled back. "Don't die out there, alright?" His other hand gripped my shoulder. "Show them what I can see."
Biting my lip, I quickly nodded. "But you have to do the same." As his hand fell, I linked my pinkie with his. "Promise me."
"I guess," He stared down at our joined hands.
"You guess?"
"I know. I promise." Connor planted a small kiss on my forehead as I hugged him tightly again. "I love you, you weirdo." He whispered, holding me closer before I pulled away.
"I love you too."
With that, I said my last goodbyes to all three of them before walking off to the security check. I didn't need to turn around.