Beam's POV
It is Sunday in the early morning, I now drive on this almost empty road. While I am driving, I stole a glance at the passenger seat. I look at the back seat from the rearview mirror. I nod myself. I think I brought enough cupcakes with different flavours. I bought from one of the best cake shops in the town. At the end of my destination; there is one house that always lightens up my doomed day. They all love the cupcakes so much; I still remember the first time I brought it to the house.
A big smile really can't afford to lose the temptation to form on my own coral rosy lips. It is a glad smile.
It is the place where I go every Sunday. Spending time with all of them. An orphanage house. There is more than 200 of them in that house. They range in the age from infants to 10 years old. The house where the innocent child. That does not know anything about this cruel world we been live in. The house was filled with a laugh when I am around or any other visitor. The Volunteers come along and spend time with them too from time to time. But I know that house filled with vulnerability, anxiety and sorrow when the night come.
As soon as I arrived I meet with Mrs.Pua, the one that incharge the house. In the second I was out from my car, those kiddo coming happily. How I miss seeing their happy face.
" Phi Beam!! " Fiat call me in a shout of happily. He running toward me and hugs me on my knee. I gently pat his head.
" Phi Tee ~~," Aie said. He comes closer. But yet to hug me when Fiat stop him doing so.
" It is Phi Beam, not Phi Tee." Fiat pout. His both hands on his waist. Looking at Aie while pouting. I shook my head.
"Phi Tee ~~~ His name is Phi Tee, not Phi Beam~ ..." No way Aie gonna lost to Fiat. These two always brighten my day.
I just laugh at them " Kids...calm down na kha ... like I said just call him whatever you want. Phi Beam or Phi Tee... both were the same names. "Mrs Pua has said that many time actually. But this two... I just smile at them.
Both then nods back to Mrs.Pua " Good child..." She pats both of them on their shoulders.
Then both of them look at me this time. As usual, tried to plead. " Just call me as always na... as you want na Fiat, Aie... " I utter softly. I know they want me to decide which name I should use. But I don't mind. I like when they always do that without tired. I really like both of them. Both were the same age. Both were 9 years old now.
Tee was the name I used before I got close to them one year ago. I come to this house for the first time when I sent Mrs Pua to here. That one day happened to me when I helped her; her car was broke down on that day, I recalled it was Saturday during the second weeks of August, a year ago. After the car towing service charged her car. I sent her to this house. That is the first time I come here. On the next day, I come again to visit. Until now I often come here every Sunday...unless it was a day when I was busy with study or going back home.
I have used not my real name when I give helped and donations to this house. But when I got closer to them. The more I spend time here... that when i used my real name Beam Baramee, especially when I got closer to that kid. I still remember when Mrs Jane, she was the director of this house, she introduces me as Tee to the kids...but later I told them my name is Beam. That when some of them call me Phi Tee, they said because I was beautiful. Tee is more suit they said so. I can't get mad when they said so though.
Some call me Phi Beam as my real name. Somehow I just let them call me like that. But Fiat and Aie these two kids did not yet agree to this. One wanted to call me as Phi Beam. While the other one wanted to call me Phi Tee. This is more than the third time they both competing which name more suits me. But I never get tired with them.
" I bring some cupcake today. So help me bringing it out kids!. " I told the kids. So other than Fiat and Aie, Praew and Lin also the leader for girls come along. Both were shy... both were 10 years old. I close to four of them. Being the eldest here and they lead the other kids in a very good way.
While Fiat and Aie, both of them was the hero for the kids here, although Praew and Lin were older than them. Fiat and Aie, act as a leader to the other kids. I really like their enthusiasm. Watching them all day long... it gives me spirit.
***
" Phi Beam... it is story time now. What the story that you would like to share with us Phi??" Praew would be really active when it is time for me to share a story with them. Mostly is all about all the fairy tales kind of story.
But today. I would tell them about different kind of story...when the main cast is not a Prince with a Princess. " Kids... We, Will, go with some interesting story today. I won't tell you the title. Yet na khrap!. "
" Yes Phi...tell us ~ tell us Phi ~~~," Lin said excitedly and giggling.
I nod. I took a deep breath and begin my story "... One fine day, a Prince come to the town and help his friends out. But his friends does not say much what kind of help that the Prince would do for him. "
" The Prince very much agreed to it after his friends plead to him for so many times. So he decided and went to help his friends.
So Kids, any idea what kind of help his friends need na khrap? " I ask all of them.
I saw them shook their head, and only Praew seems like she wants to give me an answer, but she kind like she was a bit hesitant. Maybe a doubtful with herself. I smile softly and looking at her. " Praew, any idea? "
Then she shook her head, shyly she smiles back at me. I nod. " Kids... do you still want to hear the whole story?. "
" Yessss Phi ~~~, " All of then said in unison. It makes me shook my head. There is 20 of them... 9 a girl and 11 was a boy. They are from 7 years old to 10 years old. While the rest of the kids was being with the other volunteers.
"Well, I shall continue then. " They all nods.
" The Prince's friends then told the Prince that he wants him to be his partner for a night at ball party.
It is to accompany him for that night event, to dance with him at the beginning of the event because he has to do so.
So...the day when the ball has been held. The Prince come to meet his friends.
The Prince's friends bring him to the changing room. Right when he sees it... He was surprised when he saw the costumes he would use for that ball. "
" He has to disguise as a Princess instead of Prince for a ball. He frowned and get angry with his friends.
But in the end...he then, helped his friends out..."
I paused for a while I saw all of them eagerly waiting for me to continues... I know they were still so young to know about the same-sex love story. Did I just say it love story??...
But... I feel a different kind of story might help them to be more open-minded. Well... maybe it was not a good idea. But... I feel like to share with them. I facepalming. I sigh deeply and inhale.
I look at every one of them... I can see they all were curious to know what is next. I smile... " That when the Prince meets with him another partner. Some were mesmerizing by their presence. They dance together for two rounds of dance.
The Prince and his new partner...which also another Prince... both of them shared the moments together. But sadly, the man he dances with does not know that he was a guy in a costume. That he was a man and not a woman...
Right when the midnight comes, the prince says...
" I am Cinderella and I would disappear..."
He then went with his friends. The Prince said to his friends. " The Cinderella is gone..."
This is because he becomes himself again. The real him. As a Prince and not as a Princess. "
I stop. I don't know how to continues my story... I sigh but I still smile at the kids. I bit my lips, nervously... " Kids...look, this is not the end yet. But we shall stop at this moments na Kids...? " I careful utter my words.
I heard a big sigh from most of them. I wonder... they seem like they don't care at all about this kind of story. " It is a happy ending? Like the other Prince story Phi ~~~?. " Praew asking me. I saw Lin and the rest of them also waiting for me to retort.
I smile " Maybe na...so are you all excited to hear it some other time??. "
" Yesss Phi...." They said all together.
" I want to know the end of the story too Phi..." I gulp. Blinking my eyes. I heard the voices and I know whose is it. I sigh. Finally, he comes. He really coming late today though.
I saw Lin running and come to him. She asks him to hugs her. I shook my head. " Phi Kim ~~~" Lin happily come to him.
" Phi Ming ~~ " Phun that always remain calms when she was with the other including me...but she would be shyly and keep giggling when he was here.
" Phi, miss all of you na, kids... do you guys missing me too khrap...? " Nong Ming asked the kids.
" Yeesssss Phi...." they all shout in unison
I just shook my head. I know the kids really like Nong Ming.
***
" You are late than usual today Nong... why is that? " I ask Ming.
" Ohh ho.... did you miss me too Phi? " Ming asked me jokingly.
I shook. I was not unamused. No. No, at all. But I still waiting for him to replying me.
Then he smiles " I accompany Phi Kit for breakfast today, Phi...that is why I come a bit late a... "
I nod my head. But wow... breakfast!! Together!! " Really??... That is good na Nong... he is level up now... Kit never asked you to join him before. " I am amused. Kit that I know was someone who never once eat his breakfast together with his partner. Now I know that Nong Ming already got his full attention. That possessive Kitty would turn on soon.
I smile at Ming... he just nods back proudly. " You both would be just fine. "
" I would do anything for him Phi. He is the love of my life Phi. " I nod. And give him thumbs up.
" Phi, so what can I help for now? " Ming asked me.
" Just watch the kids na. We would teach them how to drawing and colouring later. Anyway... I brought some cupcakes today. I left some for you too. It is Your favourite." I said to him.
He smiles widely " Thanks, Phi Beam. You are the best Phi!." I just nod at him.
I meet with Ming around one year ago at this house. But that time I know him as Nong Kim. He told me he knows me. He said that I was his senior but I can't remember him. Then I finally know his real name was, Mingkwan.
When I saw him close with Nong Wayo just then I know they are for sure was our junior in high school back then.
That is why I never worry when he wanted to court Kit... because I know the other side of him. He used to be a player and I know he really serious with Kit. At least I don't have to worry about Kit. Because I know he was in good hand right now and on.
But I and Ming never told the other about us being known and close with each other since a year ago. In fact, they never know what we have done in every Sunday when we were here. Pha and Kit never know I been here. They never asked when I have been either. The same goes for Nong Ming...Nor Nong Wayo or Kit know about him visiting this wonderful house.
Pha and Kit, to be true they do care about this kind of place...but... I once told Pha and Kit but they said...it only wasting their time for coming here. they do not mind to give some donations at all...but not coming here and help with what that needed. Told me they have study group to attend. A date and outing with a friends. And after that, I didn't bother to ask them again about it too.
So that is how I and Nong Ming become closer. Although we never act friendly when we're together with Pha, Kit and Nong Wayo.
For me... I like being with him when we were with the kids. He is so fun to have around. And kids like him so much. And he understands me.
***
It was 5 pm when I decided to go back to the city. Drive back to the campus in almost one hour plus heavy traffic jam.
" Phi Beam! " Nong Ming coming to me.
" Erm... Nong... "
" Phi lets have dinner together na na na... my treat. " He just like Pha and Kit. But I would never say no to foods anyway.
***
Right when we finished eating. I know he wants to know about something. I sigh and waiting for him to mutter a word.
" Phi... about Phi Forth. Aren't you going to tell him the truth?. " He finally drops his hesitation.
I don't want to think about it actually... but I did make it as a fairy tales kind of story to the kids just now.
I sigh. I don't know how to answer Nong Ming right now. Why??? Again. I look away... I know Nong Ming locked his gazed directly to me.
I remember what Forth said to me. He said it last time. He said
" I would stop looking for her..."
It is mean... he would stop looking for me.
I sigh " I don't know what I want Nong. I don't know what is best. For him to know... for him for not knowing the truth. For me to reveal...for me to hide. I don't know..." I smile thinly. I feel bad... I feel hurt. Sigh again.
" Phi... it is okay. Just be true when you found your answers na..." He is younger than me. But he seems to know more than me. I just nod back at him.
***
I drive back to the campus. Nong Ming car's in front of mine...both of us driving back to home.
I sigh...
Deep inside... I wanted to say to Forth.
Please say...you won't give up on me. Yet...
Although... I still failed to understand myself. What I want?.
But...
Can you wait for me, Forth?... I wish I can say these words.
***
A/N: Warning! Slow burn??...
Thanks na kha...i am sorry for late update lately. Busy with work. Travelling here and there. Got sick...
Anyway... I purple yall. 💜💜💜