Dedicated to Nabeela abidnabeela2412 for the awesome covers above and below <3 Thank you!!!
Chapter Forty-Eight: "It's October."
"HEY GUYS, WELCOME back to our Youtube channel. If you're new-" Jake's boyfriend, Victor said to the camera and for some reason that sends me off into a laughing fit.
Oh, this should not be funny, I thought, covering my mouth with a hand as everyone looks at me.
"O," Giulio muttered from where he sat on the other side of Jake. When I had returned to Los Angeles, I had reached out to my former...whatever we had been in the past.
Word on the street or word by Angie had informed me that he was seen recently with someone new a lot more often, but I wasn't going to pry into that. It wasn't my business. However, that information gave me the opportunity to call him up at the news. I couldn't pass up the chance to invite him over to my place for board games and puzzles while Victor and the guys part of his team proceeded to vlog our evening.
Plus, I was able to see for myself how we interacted and it reminded me of the moments where we were solely friends. He was, however, was more occupied in Los Angeles now that he had landed a recurring role in a new HBO drama. It felt great to witness him obtain the opportunity, he had always wanted to expand his work to America from Italy.
I waved a hand as I got comfortable on the couch next to Krystal. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Do it again."
"Hey, guys-"
I couldn't help the snort behind my hand and everyone shooting me a look of annoyance.
"Hey-"
Again.
"Hey, guys, wel-"
"Octavia!" Jake prodded me in the stomach with his finger.
"I'm sorry!" I held a fist to my mouth, glancing over at all of them. "I'll get the snacks. Just start the intro without me."
The one time I accept being in Youtube video and I can barely refrain from laughing.
I headed over to the kitchen as Victor started his introduction once more without my interruptions. Tapping away at my phone, I set it up against a fruit bowl as the rings of the video chat blared through the air.
"Where are you?" Is the greeting I get from Sydney.
"I'm doing great Syd, how about you?" I sarcastically questioned, noticing her curly hair was styled in a low bun, "I'm home, people are over. We're having a game night."
"Wish I could be there."
"Wish you were here too. It should be illegal to work on Thanksgiving weekend."
"It's not Thanksgiving for Americans like it is in Canada. But you don't celebrate Thanksgiving." She reminded me.
"No, but I get to see my sister thanks to school breaks and my brother decided to visit so it's a win for me and them and a loss for us, hon."
Sydney stared at me a moment longer, shaking her head, her eyes blinking rapidly. My confusion furthered when she started fanning her eyes. "I have a face full of makeup. I can't get emotional over this."
"You know you want to cry." I jested.
"I'm on my period that's why. Fuck of-Your nails," She said in the midst of a distraction and just like that her tears were gone. Her instant change should have furthered my confusion but at that, I wasn't surprised. "I love the colour, oh my God."
I shot her a beam, wiggling my blue acrylics when I took in her surroundings. Most of the time she was on a tour bus or a hotel but where she held her phone up looked like she was in a dressing room. "Where are you?"
"Houston. I have a show in a few hours."
"How is it?" I asked, sitting on a stool.
"Traveling around the country sometimes makes everything seem like huge blur."
"Oh, I totally get you on that," I recalled, remembering screenings I would show up to for past movies. I snapped my fingers when I remembered why I initially called her. "I booked the flights."
"I told you we could pay!"
"Weekend at Punta Cana," I practically sang, grinning so hard my cheeks were starting to hurt. "Can't wait."
"Octavia."
"Beach time." I pointed at her, getting off my chair to spin on my feet. "Water time. Relaxation time. Summertime in the winter."
"Octavia." She repeated, still slightly annoyed.
"Time with you. My best friend, my sister, my other half-"
She rolled her eyes all while glancing at herself above the camera, probably inspecting herself in a mirror. "Your other half could have partially paid."
"Well, I like spoiling my friends," I said with a shrug, observing the types of chips Krystal had left on the counter in bowls. I ate one and immediately cringed at the taste, spitting it into a napkin and tossing that in the garbage. "Ignore that."
"Was already going to." She drawled. "As long as we can at least pay for the hotel."
"Fine," I concluded. "Just the hotel. Only that. Wait, can we stay at a resort? If we stay at a resort, I'll pay fo-"
"Octavia!"
I shrugged again, deciding right then that the chips were better than I originally thought, taking another. "We'll find a compromise."
"Good," She shot me a stern look as I grabbed a bag of another type of chips putting them in a bowl of their own. "Oh, is Caleb coming with?"
"He said that he wants me to catch up with you and Zen and that he doesn't want to interfere."
"He can come though! It'd be great to not speak English majority of the time." I heard her mutter and I rolled my eyes but understood where she was coming from because of it.
"He's heading to El Salvador to see his grandmother during the Christmas season with his aunt and brother. I'll let him know just in case."
Sydney nodded. "Have you talked to Zen?"
"Yeah," I grinned. "He's on board with Christmas. Didn't argue with me when concerning prices-"
"That's because Zen hears 'free trip' and blocks out everything else."
"Well he's excited and I'm excited." In the background someone called her name and she turned to me with a sigh. It was fine. I would see her eventually. That's what mattered.
When we hung up, Victor walked and Krystal walked in just then, his camera in his hands. "We have the beautiful Octavia here is presenting a dish she calls-"
"C'est le Doritos de magic."
"What?" Krystal mused, tying her platinum hair in a very lopsided bun.
I loosened her hair from the hairband, packing it the way she probably originally wanted for her. "I'm working with one year of high school French, leave me alone." I grinned at the camera. "Hello, Youtube-"
Just as I said that someone had hooked up to my speakers and suddenly loud pop music started playing. Victor's eyes widened. "Turn it off! Youtube has Copyright!"
It was at the end of Victor's filming hours later that we all were lounging in my dining room. A lot of people that had been here had left earlier including Victor's team. Giulio, Jake, Angie, Naomi, and Daniel were in the middle of a very avid card game I had failed to understand. And yet Victor, Krystal and I had proceeded to watch the confusing game, out heads whipping to Jake as he yelled in victory, raising his arms up.
Giulio groaned, flicking his cards at Jake in disdain." Bro," Angie said, a hand on her head. "I'm actually going to burst into tears. That's the third time he won."
"Careful," I commented. "Your Cancer sign is showing."
"Oh my God," Jake scoffed, his victory moment over. "Here I was thinking I would never here about astrology ever again from you."
"You're a Scorpio, do me a favour and stop being so intense. You almost flipped over the table during the last round."
"Anyways," My brother flicked me on the side of the head and I shoved him back.
"It's amazing to have you here," I said dryly.
He proceeded to continue as if I never spoke. "Can we continue our darts game?"
"I want to do a puzzle," I said, glancing at my phone for a moment to check if a familiar name was going to pop up.
Naomi got my attention, tapping me on the shoulder. "Mom and dad landed."
"Okay good." I sighed.
"Hmm?" Jake asked, confused.
"Our parents went to Nigeria for the month."
"Has Caleb met your parents yet?"
Daniel started laughing and Naomi and I both hit him on the arm. This is what I get for telling him what had happened. "Shut up."
"What?" Victor asked confused.
Angie's eyes dawn with realization and she pointed at me. "Mom or dad?"
"Mom," Naomi answered.
"Your mom doesn't like Caleb?" Krystal asked.
"She doesn't?" Jake sounded bewildered, moving to sit next to Victor.
"She'll warm up to him eventually," I told them.
"Was it the tattoos?" Jake asked.
I bit my lip. "He was wearing a sweater the day she met him. I don't even think she noticed he was wearing them..."
Naomi and Daniel hissed at the same time. "But she'll be fine with them. What is she going to do? Tell him to take them off?"
"Have you met mom?" Daniel asked with wide eyes.
"She'll be fine with them," I assured them. "She said that I should bring him around again so she can actually get to know him."
"Just wait when he takes off his jacket and she faints in the living room," Daniel muttered.
"Is she actually like that?" Victor asked.
"Sometimes. It's just how she was raised and her values." Daniel said. "Plus, she always trying to look out for our best interest."
For some reason, my eyes darted over to Naomi who had fallen silent.
Every time my sister went quiet, it was concerning. Daniel tapped me and we exchanged looks. I was debating to pull her to the side but Daniel being the idiot he was decided to nudge her with his foot to get her attention. "What's wrong?"
Naomi blinked out of her thoughts, shaking her head. "Nothing. It's fine."
"Doesn't sound fine."
"Daniel." I glared at him. "Stop."
But Daniel wasn't having it since he knew what this was about. He leaned back in his chair and my mind flashed to a time long ago when we would have serious conversations back home when we were teenagers. When the stress was too much for any of us and Daniel would barge into our room and we'd all talk for hours on end. "It's mom, isn't it?"
Naomi looked up at him. "You know how she is."
"I don't know," I admitted. "Mom's hardheaded, definitely more than dad but there's a chance her mindset has changed being in Canada."
"What are you guys talking about?" Krystal asked.
"Ni telling our mom that's she's bi," Daniel said, his eyes not wavering from our sister's face.
"Yes, but you shouldn't have..." I trailed off, glaring at him.
Daniel usually acted on impulse but it wasn't the best decision to discuss this in front of everyone without her intake. He must've realized what he had done because he shot Naomi an apologetic look and she sighed. "It's okay."
"But you know how much mom loves us? You're the golden child of the family, Ni. She couldn't possibly hate you."
"Guys," Angie cut in. "She's thought about it a million times, trust me."
"Oh, definitely and probably imagined every single scenario possible. I know I did." Victor added.
"What about you, Jake?" Krystal asked.
"Oh, my parents knew already," He answered. "My mom walked into my room asked me to confirm and the rest was history."
"When I came out-both times, my mom was supportive," Angie told her. "Took my dad some time though. But all that mattered to them was that I was happy."
"Victor?"
"My story definitely isn't as happy sounding as those two." He added. "A lot of the time coming out to a loved one doesn't end up with the best expectation. It's scary, Ni but for me it was the best thing to be able to tell my family even though some of them don't necessarily agree and make it known that they don't. With the right people around you and possibly time, who knows?"
"We'll deal with the aftermath when it happens," I assured her, squeezing her hand. I meant every word that came out of my mouth.
"Okonji clan unites." Our baby brother says with a huge grin, patting our sister on the back.
"We're here for you too, babe." Krystal nodded, taking the bowls of chips to refill them in the kitchen.
"What are we here for?" A voice said from the side.
My head snapped to the side at the familiarity and I was out of my chair faster than I humanely thought possible.
Curious brown eyes settled on me, a face that lit up with a smile matched my own as he reached an inked arm out towards me. Linking my arms around his neck and holding him as close to me as possible, he reciprocated my hug instantly. "Hey."
"Hi," I whispered into his shoulder, closing my eyes shut.
At my tone, he started laughing. "Don't say hi like that. You sound shy."
"I'm not-I just," I leaned back, my hands on his chest as I peered up at him. My hand brushed against his slight scruff on his face.
"Caleb!" Jake yelled from the side. "Looking good, my dear Italian friend."
"Look at me?" Caleb teased. "Look at you. Victor's a lucky man."
Jake raised the bottle of his drink with a wink. "He knows it."
Cue the collective groan from everyone in the room at Jake's somehow endearing arrogant moment before Caleb said his hellos. He looked at Giulio for a brief second, surprised to see him here but flashed him, a nod that was returned. "We'll be back."
"Give them at least thirty minutes or you'll walk into something you don't want to see," Krystal warned while shooting me a wink.
"You should have knocked." I reminded Krystal and Angie, pulling Caleb up the stairs.
"What?" Daniel did a double-take. "Thirty minutes? We need to finish our game of darts!"
"We'll be back," I yelled at my brother, dragging Caleb up the stairs.
When we entered my room, I closed the door behind him. Caleb jumped onto my bed, rolling onto his back. I went over to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "So."
"So what?" Caleb's eyes went up and narrowed. "New wig."
"He notices."
"The waves are different, I like it," His eyes glazed over it as he tugged me towards him. My knee dug against the side of his stomach and he shifted me into a comfortable position until I took charge to straddle him, my hands pushing his forearms down on the bed. A smirk tugged on Caleb's lips, "You really want to put those thirty minutes to good use...again?"
"I didn't say that." I got close to his face, biting my lip.
"You're an actress, you know actions speak louder than words." He brushed a kiss against my lips, leaning back into the pillow to get a better look at my face. The brush of his hand against the exposed skin of my tank top had me press against him but I didn't take it anywhere further.
Instead, I got comfortable, settling on the side of him as he wrapped an arm around me. "Speaking of acting, you haven't told me what's been happening."
"I'll get to it," I told him, lying down on my stomach, pressing a kiss to his clothed arm. I was quick to help him take off his black jean jacket. "Too many clothes on."
"It's fall, Tavi. Am I supposed to walk out of the car naked?"
"And your fingers are cold." I continued to speak, rubbing his hands with my own.
"You know... it's October."
Oh, God.
"I am well aware of the month we're in," I mumbled, distracted by him and not trying to focus on his words for once.
He winked, tossing his jacket on the foot of my bed and my eyes went down to his inked arms. "Your month."
"Don't start." My mutter was left unheard as I brushed my skin against his warm skin, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck.
"Get it?"
"You're done," I said affirmatively, raising my head to look at him.
"C'mon October, it's October."
"I'm breaking up with you."
"Um," His eyes went wide. "Rude."
"For five seconds, I'm breaking up with you," I grumbled, pushing him slightly as he continued to laugh at my empty threat. "Jake kept texting me that the second it hit October. I like Tavi. Call me Tavi. Call me O. Call me Via, Tavia, anything else for fuck's sake."
"Ottobre." He says in Italian.
I prod my finger in his chest. "You're an actual asshole."
"You literally told me you're breaking up with me like two seconds ago," That glint in his brown eyes, holy he knew what he did to me. Even the way his hands were caressing my side made it hard to even pretend to be mad at him. "How am I the asshole in this relationship?"
"You know what? Call me October again and there won't be any relationship for you."
Caleb pressed kisses to my face and I squealed, pushing his face away but he kept going at me. "No, no, no, no."
"Stop." Kissing me once more, I cupped his face in my hands, allowing him to settle between my legs as we made up for the lost time. He held me into his body and I became filled by the emotion and care I felt for the man in front of me.
Pulling back, I watched him, my hand running down from his cheek to his neck. His pulse throbbed under my palm, his head dipped low and I tilted his head up with my other hand. It was good to see the joy in his eyes. Brushing a hand over his hair, I kissed him once more. "Romero?"
He groaned slightly, leaning over to press a kiss to the middle of my chest. "Love hearing that."
The last time I had called him that was in a vulnerable moment he had been in. Running a hand through his soft hair, I asked: "How are you?"
Caleb's glint died down a bit at the seriousness of my question. And while I didn't mean to kill the playful mood, I had to ask. I was concerned about his well-being far greater than he probably knew. "I'm okay." He admitted.
"And the second family?"
"Good, they're good. Charlie-kid's growing fast, too fast he's not even my kid and I'm not ready for him to grow up yet."
I chuckled. "That's good. I'm happy for you."
He leaned his head on my side, his legs dangling over the bed. "I'll be happy for you too when you tell me what's going on on your side. You've been holding out on me."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I know you," He grasped the hand that wasn't playing in his hair, twiddling with my fingers. "And there's a very distinct pause whenever we spoke on the phone like you were itching to tell me more but holding back."
"I'll tell you in a minute." I allowed my fingers to comb through his soft hair a couple of times. His eyes closed in comfort and I watched the rise and fall of his chest as we became quiet.
Or as quiet as my home could be since my friends and family decided just then and there to start yelling at one another over a game through my slightly opened door.
He cleared his throat, looking over at the door. "I, um, I took your advice."
I changed my position, leaning back on my forearms. "What advice?"
His eyes shifted in a way that made me know he was slightly uncomfortable saying this out loud. But he said it anyway. "About seeing someone."
"Really? Caleb," I sat up this time. "I wasn't trying to pressure you into-"
"You weren't," He assured me, linking our hands together. "Before we left, I had spoken to my Tia about it, because I clearly haven't been handling my emotions as well as I thought even after what happened. But I think it'll do me some good.
"I hope it does." I sat up, moving the two of us off the bed as the noise downstairs got louder.
"What about you?" He kissed the back on my hand as we left my bedroom. "What has been happening?"
"Um, my mom and I have been talking a lot more," I told him. "We've been very different, she's really supportive-way more supportive than I thought she'd be. It's easier to talk to her now that she knows."
"That's good." He grinned before looking confused. "What were you all talking about down there? About being here for..."
"Naomi. About her coming out to our family," I frowned. "I think that's going to be a very unpredictable outcome and we all know it."
"Regardless of the outcome, she's going to do it and no matter what happens."
"She's thought of every single scenario this can go through."
"She's scared," Caleb told me. "And she has a right to be. I understand her fear, not for the same reason but I understand feeling like that. Plus, family is everything to you three."
"Yup," I repeated, watching my sister say something to Giulio. I wished she could be like that forever, just happy in the moment. And I wished that for everyone in the room.
"She's strong like you," He said. "The outcome may be the one she's dreading but she'll never know until it happens. Even if it is, she'll be okay even if she only has you and Daniel."
I nodded at his words, "I think you're right. Ni can overcome anything. it's one of the reasons why I admire her."
"Especially with that lawyer mind of hers." Caleb tsked as we reached the threshold spotting Krystal yelling at Victor over a game and Jake's hand on his temple, possibly wishing this night could get calmer.
"Brilliant lawyer mind of hers," I added before realizing there was something else I had yet to inform him of. "Speaking of her lawyer mind, I got into contact with one of the actresses I worked with while filming Eagle."
"Eagle?" Angie raised an eyebrow and whatever commotion they had all been speaking about dialled down as they looked at me. "Why? Are you guys doing a sequel to the movie?"
"No," I informed her only to have Jake dramatically sigh. "Does Lia ring a bell?"
"Contenello?" Victor asked, typing away at his phone. "The singer?"
"Yup."
"You guys catch up?" Giulio questioned, rolling his dice and moving his boardgame piece.
I glanced over at Naomi who gave me a reassuring smile and felt any uneasiness leave me instantly. "I have something to tell you guys."
It was interesting. Interesting that at the mention of a man like Eric McCantie, my friend's eyes lit up because a man like that had so much power with his name alone.
And he abused it.
When learning of the things that I had known that, I watched the excitement in my friends' eyes die down instantly and a mixture of emotions fill their faces. I caught the glimpse of anger, shock, subtle surprise and the understanding on many of their faces that I didn't want to see but understood that they related on various levels that I had yet or possibly would never know.
And that upset me. That they could relate to that because no one deserved that and just at the sight of their faces, fire lit inside of me and I gripped onto Caleb's hand for stability as I continued explaining.
"What the fuck?" Jake said hoarsely when I was done. Daniel wasn't any better. He was there for the past and definitely didn't count on me seeing Eric McCantie again and neither had I before that time. But ironically, our big world was a small world.
"Um," I cleared my throat. "So, I did catch up with Lia but not exactly for the reasons you were thinking of. I had spoken to mom," I turned to Daniel for this one, to get him into the loop of things. "And she told me how a similar case that happened at dad's workplace and it got me and Naomi thinking that we should ask certain people around that time and not only that, but we found out a lot more."
"There's a lot more people than we thought were initially involved in what Eric had been doing back then-"
"And even now," I added. "Lia wasn't the only person I had met up with to discuss. Naomi had a dug a little deeper with connections and there were cases like mine against him. There are others even more recent situations. But they've all been acquitted."
"Multiple situations and he got off the hook of all of them?" Victor asked.
"Power, money and corruption," Caleb answered. "That's how."
"What's going to happen?" Krystal asked.
"Well," I sighed. "Some people are still holding back on the idea of speaking out about it even if it was years later."
"Why?"
"Because some people are scared. There are various reasons why and it's understandable. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into doing something they don't want to do."
"So, what are you going to do?" Daniel asked, glancing at me and Naomi. My baby brother looked angered almost on the same level as me. "Tell me you're going to do something. Because I know you and you don't walk away from a fight. Especially not now."
"I'm doing something about it," I assured him. "Naomi and I are."
"She's going to take a lead. If it's public and if more people join her then...we'll see. If no one, then," Naomi said. "That's fine because we're not giving up. That's not how we're going to do things."
Daniel grinned, clapping Naomi on the shoulder and shaking her slightly. "That's the spirit," And that fake Nigerian accent that managed to come out of all of us in the need of a little humour in dark situations jumped out when he said, "The Okonji fire is strong within you."
Caleb gripped my shoulders. My family's support meant everything and I turned to Naomi and letting her know that we gave her our support and when she had made her own choice, we were going to be there for her when it happened.
Later that night, I sat outside on steps after countless supporting words from my friends and family. Music was playing from my phone as I looked up at the night sky. It was well into the early hours of the morning but they were all inside doing a puzzle, usually the ending of a night like this.
I took a deep breath, my eyes searching for even one little glint but I couldn't find a single one. My eyes searched as I thought about the multiple ways I could address a situation that had become way too common, swept under the rug and overall pissed me off.
My leg bounced up and down as my mind continued to race and the motion finally stopped when I heard the door open behind me and I looked back at Caleb's curious expression.
"Sit with me." I pulled him down and he shifted closer to me on the steps. He took his jacket off, helping me put it on as I leaned forward, looking up at the sky.
"Reminds me of New York."
"How?" I raised an eyebrow.
"You can't see the stars like you can back in Milan," Caleb said, leaning back and prodding me slightly, a curve on his lips. "Or even in Rome, or Sicily. I need to take you to Sicily. You ever been?" I shook my head, bringing my knees up to my chest and hummed. "I'll take you then."
"It's a plan." I agreed, my eyes still upward. "Although with the stars up there, I haven't made an astrology joke in a while."
"Astrology? I haven't heard you mention how much a Gemini you are since Italy."
"I've been busy. Busy with life and with you."
"So... " He trailed off, "I'm a distraction from your true calling?"
"To be an astrologist? Of course. You're ruining my dreams with your presence." I joked.
"About Eric..."
I glanced up at him, "What about him?"
He must have gotten the hint of my tone because his lips parted in surprise. "Do you actually think I would tell you to back off?"
"No."
"Good, because I wouldn't. I'm with you every single step of the way, Octavia. Besides if I was really a dick and said don't do it, you wouldn't even be with me, let alone listen to what I have to say."
"Good point,"
"Have you decided what kind of public way you're going to do it? An interview?"
"Probably," I said, my thoughts wandering to past conversations with Lia and the other women I had spoken to from that day. Or women who didn't deserve to be a victim of Eric' power abuse. "We'll figure it out and when I do, I'll let you know." I glanced up at the sky once again. "I miss my star."
"Your official one or...any by the means of what's above us?"
"I miss my own. That little certificate is in my room. It's so cute."
"The guy who gave it to you was even cuter but-" I lightly shoved his egotistic self and he laughed.
"Speaking of stars we can't see, I have something I've been wanting to tell you."
"What's up?"
He stared at me a moment longer. "I'm moving."
Huh?
"Romero, where is the correlation between those two sentences?" I had to ask because yes, I understood him better than most, but that connection was hard for me to grasp.
"You were right," He continued, taking a deep breath as he looked up at the sky as well from where we were sitting on the steps. "So right. I was only in Italy for so long because of my dad. And when the reason to be there surpassed, I sold my apartment."
"Wow, um, wow." Okay, talk about bomb dropping.
"Yeah," He chuckled. "Shipping my car across the ocean is a little pricy but it'll do."
Across the ocean? Maybe I was a little tired but I definitely wasn't processing this better than I should have been. "Um,"
"Tavi, you're sound a little unsure of yourself today," His amused look made me roll my eyes. "First the whispering, now the um's-"
"Listen, idiot,"
"There she is," He cupped my face in his hands playfully. "My beautiful girlfriend who calls me names."
"You're just catching me off guard since you arrived without telling me," I took his hands off my face, linking them with my own. "Where are staying? With the guys at the house here?" In Los Angeles?
"No." He said in a way where I completely understood where he was coming from.
"Well, this city has never really been your thing. I've known that since the first day I met you. You like Los Angeles but Hollywood itself, the people-not your scene."
"Never has been really. And if I wanted to do something related to screenwriting and more, I'll throw myself into, I can do meetings over the internet. It'll work out. The beautiful wonders of technology."
"But where are you moving?"
"Another place where you can't see your star ironically," He scoffed. "New York."
"Shut the fuck up."
He laughed at my vulgarity. "It's a great city. lots of different types of people, it's busy. I like busy, a little chaos, why do you think I like you?"
"Can you-"
He chuckled more at his joke. "I like my place there. My agent is based there too. It's more my scene than Los Angeles will ever be. Plus, it's one of your favourite cities in the entire world. It just means you'll be there a lot more often anyways. Considering your best friends live there and now your man will too."
"Now you're just trying to convince me to securely relocate to New York."
"That's your choice. Maybe one day but for now you've got a great thing going on here, in LA. Since you moved here," He brought a hand to my chin, tilting my head up. "It's your city, there's no need to go away from it now."
"We'll be okay?" I asked.
"Definitely." Conflict crossed his face.
"What's wrong?"
"About our relationship..."
The way he said it could have made my heart stop. But I haven't ever doubted the way Caleb felt for me and our connection to each other. "What about it?"
He glanced down at our hands. "I'm trying here."
"Elaborate." I quipped and he shot me a pointed look, but he was beating around the bush and I wasn't going to stand for it.
"And there are some things that I'm not going to know how to do." I already had a feeling this had to do with the fight we had before we went to Italy.
"Referring to being in a relationship?"
"Yeah."
"That's okay," I squeezed his hand. "Caleb, it doesn't matter. There are just some things we have to communicate better and that's different in every relationship. Remember, I told you that we're taking this slow."
As slow as meeting each other's families already, travelling together multiple times-
As slow as we could possibly be by our definition.
"Yeah, but we've been together for a while now, I just want to remind you that I'm all in. Even when I say shit I don't know how to word things properly, which is terribly ironic for me of all people, and it comes out wrong. Basically, when I mess up a bit-"
"I'm going to mess up a bit too," I told him, prodding him in the stomach. "We're not perfect, but we're going to be okay, you hear me?" He hummed in agreement and I continued. "It doesn't where you're going to live or where I'm going to live or-"
"Or in the future when you want to get a cat whereas I want to get a dog."
Oh, he's funny. "We're getting a fish."
"A fish?" He exclaimed.
"Fishes are easy. Cats? I can't name anyone in my entire family line from my ancestors to my father's ancestor to my-just down that entire line of my family tree- I don't recall anyone liking cats-myself included."
"How?"
"Cats and superstition don't mix well-I'm not going to get into that and while I don't agree, they freak me out."
"You know what? Let's go back to the cat idea in a few months?"
"Caleb."
"Back to our future."
"Where we are sure to have multiple disagreements much more or less serious than the imaginary cat we own."
The door opened up behind me and Angie peeped her head through. "We're starting up a new game, you guys want to join?"
Caleb and I glanced at each other and he spoke up. "I think we're going to pass on this round."
"Have fun, lovebirds."
She closed the door behind us. I leaned my head on Caleb's shoulder as we settled in comfortable silence. He settled his phone between us as he went through his Twitter feed. "Has Daniel scheduled a date for his wedding?"
"It's in May," I answered.
"We got two weddings next year?" Daniel and my cousin, Lisa's.
"Yup. Can't wait to see you in a tux multiple times."
"Hmm," He pressed a kiss to the side of my head. "Is that what you want? To get married one day?"
"I think so. I've thought about it a couple of times, mostly when I was younger but if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't."
"But do you have a dream wedding in that head of yours? Why am I even asking? I know you."
"Definitely. For starters, it's huge," I put my hands up for emphasis. "I invite one thousand of my closest acquaintances-"
"Oh my God," Caleb deadpanned, shooting me a look.
"Okay maybe 500," I assured him with a pat on his cheek. "Possibly two weddings. One would that westernized wedding or whatever-" He snorted. "But mostly because I look good in white."
"Yes, yes you do."
"See look at us agreeing." I grinned.
He pointed at me. "Save that same energy for the cat."
"No," I put my hands on his shoulders. "But one of the weddings has to be a traditional Nigerian wedding. I love them, it is a must. Music, good food, lots of dancing. If I get married it has to happen."
"Outdoor?"
"Romero, I need to glow on my wedding day. That should be written in stone: Octavia Okonji shines so bright she's in awe of herself." Caleb laughed at my words. "What about you?"
"Well, in El Salvador we have certain traditions for weddings. It's a must to incorporate them on the day..." He trailed off.
"What?"
Caleb shook his head. "It's just...weird. Like, a year ago if you mentioned marriage to me or anything connected to the idea it was fucking hard to place myself in that scenario because I never really thought about it before. But now," He squinted at me. "I don't know. It's so much easier now."
"Well," I nudged him, sitting up. "What's your dream wedding? Or what would you want it to be like? I want to know."
"Okay," He sat up too, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "I like outdoors too. White is a cool colour for a theme. I would use that-maybe purple, like royal purple."
"I like purple," I agreed. "What about kids?"
He narrowed his eyes, watching me carefully on the subject. I don't know if I should have asked, but a part of me needed to know. The man in front of me with his shining personality and ways to make me feel like I haven't before was going to be in my life for a long time. I knew it. I knew it that much. "What about them?"
"Have they ever been in your plan?" I asked him. "You asked me this once and I told you. But I never got your opinion. You like them."
"I do," He agreed. "But that's different than having one of my own."
"So..."
"So, I don't know. I've never thought about it. Like with a wedding. I've never placed myself in that position before. If I decide one day that 'I want a child' then I'll discuss it with..." His eyes trailed over to me. That made me avoid his gaze. "Don't get shy again."
"I'm not shy," I mumbled lamely and he chuckled. "But you know that..."
"I know," Caleb stated regarding me not being able to get pregnant. "And is it supposed to turn me away from you? It's not a reason to. Never. I go with the flow and so, do you. If what happens happens and it's a time where that choice is on the table then so be it."
"I like that plan."
"So do I."
Caleb glanced back at the house. "Do you want to go back in there?"
"Soon, but not now," I answered him, and he kissed the side of my head as we both looked up at the sky again.
"Want to at least try to find a bright star?"
"You're not going to find one."
"Then we'll go back to Milan and look for yours," He released me, standing and put his hand out. "Walk with me?"
"Really? You want to go for a walk now?"
"What else would you rather be doing?"