thanks to @anelissann for the covers above, they're so cute💗
here we go bois :)
Chapter Twenty-Six: "Fly To LA And Fight Everyone."
ANGIE AND I SAT on Krystal's bed as my phone lit up with texts from both my brother and my sister arguing in our group chat. I don't know why after so many years of living apart from one another, they had decided to make a group chat concerning our plans to meet in Los Angeles after my movie. Didn't make any sense but it was simpler than being the link between my baby brother and older sister about information. I watched them argue about what bedroom Naomi wanted in my California home and Daniel trying to tell her that he wasn't going to change it out of the man cave he had made it into.
I hope my brother knew that his stay there was temporary before he decided to renovate my entire house without my notice. The 'man cave' was news to me and my eyes almost bugged out of my head when he sent a pic of what he had done to one of my guest rooms.
Chaos was surely going to occur when we all saw each other next more so than I previously thought.
My phone lit up with text from another person and I swiped across to reply to it.
"What about this?" Krystal asked, turning around in a circle to give us the full view of her outfit. Angie assessed her, standing up to tug at the blouse. I gave Krystal a thumbs up because she did look good. I wasn't going to get a word in, especially with Angie but I wasn't complaining. She was definitely the fashion expert of our group.
caleb:
What outfit number is this?
Me:
Outfit 11
caleb:
You guys have time.
Me:
Correction: we have shit to do but no one wants to do it.
caleb:
Lemme see.
I went to the camera app, holding it up to take a video of Krystal. "Spin." She beamed and slowly spun in her nice outfit, her hands on her hips by the end of it. I sent the video to Caleb, knowing that he would open the video as quick as I had sent it.
A minute later as Krystal and Angie chatted, I got a response with another video. I increased the volume on my phone while opening it up. Caleb held the phone within arm's length and a crowd of people stood behind him. They all said something in Italian and Krystal's eyebrows rose as she overheard. "What does that mean?"
"He says they all said you look beautiful." Caleb was at a conference today at a location near Rome. Surrounded by other writers, he had a large fanbase and I knew the majority of the people that had attended were there mostly for the charming man. I briefly checked my twitter and sure enough, he was trending number one of Twitter. I scrolled through seeing people taking pictures with him and his various books.
Reading some of the comments that definitely appraised his looks, I snorted when someone called him papi, remembering what Angie had once called him when she heard of him.
"Then we're going with this one." Krystal went over to her vanity mirror and dresser, finding accessories.
Me:
Focus on your fans
caleb:
I have a little bit of a break, it's fineeeee
caleb(2):
Did you find out yet?
caleb(3): Did ya did ya did ya
Me:
Noooo, Erika said I'll find out later today or tomorrow. They work really fast.
caleb:
I better get a shoutout when you win your next award.
Me:
Caleb.
caleb:
I want you to say 'and I want to thank the hottest man of all time, the only one who can rock anyone's world, Caleb Romero Henderson' and say the Romero part real slow, K? Make sure you roll the r for extra emphasis.
Me:
Shut up.
Me(2):
What if you win an award for your movie or for your next book? I better get some kind of recognition.
caleb:
How could I not give any recognition for my Olivia?
caleb(2):
First name I say on stage, no doubt.
Caleb(3):
I have to head back, I'll call you later?
Me:
Yeah x
Angie tossed Krystal a skirt as I shut my phone off. "Wear this."
Krystal glanced at the skirt, holding it out in front of her before looking back at Angie. "I swear this doesn't match."
"It matches," Angie had that tone where she was certain. And clothes was something she was always certain in. "Trust me."
"Last time I trusted you, I woke up in just my underwear in a club bathroom," Krystal muttered.
"And you still had a good time and no hangover, remember that?" Angie quipped. "No one told you to take off your clothes, buddy."
I snorted as Krystal shimmied into the skirt. Angie was right as always about clothes. It did match. Krystal looked at herself in the mirror, smoothening it down. "This is a lot to stress over for just a business meeting."
Sometimes looking at Krystal, you wouldn't think this ball of sunshine with platinum hair is the owner of a makeup company and brand in her name. She was making a deal today and judging by how nervous she was it was very important. But she could do it. Krystal may have had her parents' money to start the foundation of what she had built but the rest was all her and her passion. I admired her more a lot more than she probably thought.
"A meeting that will go well," I told her, crossing my legs on the bed. "Say what you have to say, listen and don't let anyone twist your words or try to manipulate you into taking the smaller deal. You either go big or go home."
"Sounds like sex." She muttered and I laughed in response.
Krystal nodded to herself in the mirror before making eye contact with me. "How's the hot writer?"
"Caleb?" I questioned.
"So, you admit he's attractive."
"I never said he wasn't." I reminded her.
"I haven't seen him in a week," Angie commented.
"You should come to set one day. You'd see him all the time. My dressing room is practically his home." I told them, thinking back to the countless times Caleb has followed me in there and laid back on the couch like it was his room.
"I would if I wasn't so busy all the time." Angie sighed, going through Krystal's jewelry boxes before handing her a set of small earrings. "Wear. And no necklace for you today. The blouse is enough. It screams, 'don't mess with me or I'll make you go bankrupt'."
"Exactly what we are looking for." Krystal agreed, putting the earrings on herself.
Angie glanced down at her phone. "Speaking of which I have to go in like fifteen minutes. Charity gala."
"You or your boss?"
"Boss," Angie's fingers touched the bridge of her nose as she let out a breath. "She sent me ideas of what she could wear, I didn't have the heart to tell her no over text."
"That bad?" I asked.
Angie grimaced. "It's was like something out of Fashion Week 1943. Out of style and most definitely outdated."
"Angie." I scolded.
She raised her hands up in defense. "But that's what I'm here for, honey. To fix that."
"Could be nicer," Krystal commented.
"There's no time to be nice when you have to get shït done," Angie said, digging up pair of heels for Krystal to wear. When Krystal stood, staring at herself in the mirror, Angie grinned. "And look good while doing it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Checking my Snapchat briefly, I glanced at Jake and Giulio who were discussing the next scene with Isabella and a couple of others. I already knew what I was supposed to do but I let my eyes stay glued to my phone especially when Giulio kept his constant glances towards me. I haven't found the need to speak to him unless I had to for the movie, but I knew if he had the opportunity to talk to me it would be about Keith.
And while the idea of discussing Keith didn't bother me anymore as it had before, it left a rather bitter taste in my mouth.
Like you're a whore, I couldn't help but remember his words.
I could have said something rude back at him. Surely my words I had told him were fantastic and I had even applauded myself thinking about it later that night, but I could have been harsh.
I could have been way harsher, but I snatched my claws back and said what I had to say civilly. I didn't get an award for that but I sure as hell deserved one.
Pressing the purple square next to Caleb's name, the video played. I knew he was in the studio like we all were for today's filming. The scene was to take place inside an office building, but the inside was going to be filmed here on set. It looked very realistic if it weren't for the cameras and the open area, I would've believed it. But the illusion was the whole point.
But Caleb? Caleb was somewhere deep in the building because he was running, a wild smile on his face as he looked at the camera in the video. He had a pen in his mouth, his nose crinkling in that way it does whenever he smiled before the video ended but made me laugh softly. "Where are you?", the caption read.
I sent him a picture of the ground and told him "Room A". His reply was fast, a picture of his Nike shoes as he clearly was still running, "Five seconds." His caption said.
Five-
I barely had time to read his message, feeling the said man knocking me in his arms by surprise. He turned me around, holding me up and I stared at him wide-eyed, feeling everyone's eyes on us at his dramatic antics.
I laughed, my hands on his shoulders as I looked down and into his wild eyes. "Put me down."
He settled me back on the ground, but he didn't take his hands off me. They moved up to my own shoulders, almost shaking me. The excitement on his face had to make me fight my own excitement on the inside as I pulled on a frown.
"So? Did you get it? Did you get the part?" Caleb grinned at me.
I shook my head, slowly talking my hands off his shoulder. I gave him a face of defeat, shrugging. "I didn't get it."
Caleb's smile immediately dropped, and he took his hands off me. "No."
Oh dear.
"Caleb-"
"I was with you when you did it," He ran a hand through his hair, irritation evident on his face. "You should have gotten it. What the hell?"
He was. Caleb right behind the camera as my agent was with me to grab the video to send it to LA. He and Erika had hit it off fast. He had slept over, in the guest room to my surprise when he realized he really didn't want any chance of me getting the cold that had raked through him. He had stayed over at the house until I was certain that he was in a better state of health.
Claiming that he brings me, 'good vibes' (his words, not mine), he watched the entire monologue with intensity like the look in his eyes right now. He truly believed that that the part belonged to me and I felt familiarity at his reaction.
"Caleb-"
"No, this is so stupid," He pulled his phone out of his pocket, grabbing the pen behind his ear and wiggling it with his other hand. He was so restless with overwhelmed feelings. "Give me the number. Either they can't see talent or they're so fucking dumb -"
A smile broke through my façade due to his reaction. "Caleb, I got the part."
He stopped talking, staring at me. He kept his eyes on me for a couple of seconds, as if he was trying to see if the smile on my face was fake or not before narrowing his eyes at me. "Don't do that!" He grasped me in a hug, and I laughed, reciprocating it. "For, fuck's sake. Got my heart beating fast. Didn't need that. Someone was going to get a mouthful from me if you kept that up. I was about to fly to LA and fight everyone involved in casting."
"I'm sorry but your reaction was everything." He released his hold on me and I couldn't stop laughing.
He shoved me lightly on the shoulder. "See I knew, you'd get it. Stop laughing."
I dramatically wiped a tear from my eyes, and he scoffed at my actions like he wasn't worse. I calmed down, wiping my hands on my jean pants I had been shoved into today. "When did you find out?"
"This morning." I grinned. He was the first person I had wanted to message about it but I knew his reaction in person would be the best thing. Clearly, since this man smiling at me with pride in his eyes for me made me bite my lip.
"Well, a celebration is in order." He grabbed my hands twisting me in a little dance. "Shall we say our cheers to a bottle of Malibu?"
The idea of getting drunk with Caleb was very tempting but I shook my head. "We have work tomorrow."
Caleb hissed. "Well, fuck, almost forgot that we have to work to live for a second."
I snorted. "Some of us are going to get dinner after filming, so you most definitely should come but um, there's something else I need to talk to you about."
"Sure," Caleb's eyebrow rose at the uncertainty in my voice. I didn't usually stumble, or my words and he must have taken notice when I had used um. But I had to discuss this with him before filming. That was our deal. "What's up?"
I took a deep breath, not bothering to walk around eggshells with Caleb. I didn't have to at this point. "I already talked to AJ about this but I-"
"Caleb," Kady interrupted behind me and I turned around to face her when Caleb took his eyes off my face. "The production meeting is taking place and you're urgently needed."
Caleb's eyes widened for a second. He glanced at his phone, checking the time and cursing under his breath. "Fuck, I almost forgot."
I raised an eyebrow. "Since when were you hired to be a producer?"
"When I decided to suck up to the right people and head producer said he liked me and wanted me to be a line producer. To keep filming on track. So, when we roll credits, you'll see my name in two places."
I stared at him, amused but not surprised. "Congrats."
"Congrats to you, superstar." He reached out for my hand, squeezing it. "We're definitely going to celebrate soon. We'll talk later."
But I had to tell him. Fuck. "But-"
"Later!" He told me, jogging off into hallways and disappearing from my sight.
He was going to kill me. Metaphorically.
Hours later I had no sight of Caleb and the next scene we were supposed to be filming was taking place now. How long was the damn meeting supposed to occur for? I mentally asked. But it didn't matter because the scene was coming up and I didn't have time to tell him.
I didn't have time to tell him. Shït, shït, shït, I couldn't help but think while watching Rocky Wellington and Giulio talk, the two of them looking calm.
Rocky Wellington played by father in the movie. He was a great film dad and an amazing actor. He wasn't in the movie much, but his role had been emphasized to make an impact on my character's life. My character, spending most of her time in this crazy trip gone wrong in Italy with her university classmates finally sees her father again here.
There was a scene involved where I was supposed to do, supposed to discuss with Caleb beforehand. AJ gave me the a-ok with going along with it the way I explained to him, loving it but although his approval was important so was Caleb's.
Watching Giulio talk to Rocky right now, I twiddled my fingers together waiting for my cue. Just as I peered by the window, keeping my eyes on Giulio talking to Rocky and the cameras caught me doing so, I was aware Caleb was watching the scene. Of course, he would be it. It was one of the intense scenes he's ever written for the movie.
"Hi." My voice came out softly after my cue, as I stared at Rocky nervously.
He stared back at me. Like he didn't know who I was, and it was perfect. The casting crew getting Rocky to be in the movie was the best decision they had ever made as we conversed in the scene and went through it, the anticipation running through me.
That adrenaline was still running seconds after as Rocky and I talked. Lines were thrown into reality, turning written words into live action. As we got to the scene, I was mentally doing flips in my head. "You can't just tell me-"
"Yes, I can."
"No," I fought against him, letting myself get evidentially frustrated. "You've been trying to control me since mom died, forget it."
"Addison." He called me, by my character's name.
"No," I repeated, the tears blurring my vision. "I'm not going to fuck up like you did, don't you see that?"
And we talked, I could feel everyone watching as the scene grew more and more intense and I stayed on track with the script in my head, in my mind but when it came to the specific part near the end and I had almost everyone on the verge of tears including myself, I changed it up.
And Rocky, being the brilliant actor, he was, followed along.
"You can't just be my dad?" I nearly yelled at him. "For two seconds? I almost died yesterday and you're already-" I took a shaky breath. I took the rings off my hands, throwing them onto the table one at a time. "Is that you want?" I said while throwing one across the room. I grabbed the choker around my neck, setting it down harshly beside it. "That's what you want right? You want a daughter you can groom in your perfect little image as if you know me all of a sudden?"
He rolled his eyes, "Don't act like a child. You're twenty not five."
"Then treat me like I'm twenty, not five. Twenty-year-old still make mistakes dad. Everyone does and you did too."
"Addison."
"Did you ever question why I went to university so far away from home? Why I went on this trip? You didn't care. You shipped me out when you realized I wasn't the daughter you wanted. So, don't talk to me. Leave." I turned away from him.
He grabbed me by the arm harshly and that was definitely not part of the script, but I mentally applauded him for it. "You're coming back to-"
"I'm not going anywhere," I yanked my arm out of his grip, tears blinding my vision as my voice shook with anger. "I have to do-"
"You have to do what?" He roared at me, getting in my face and trying to intimidate me. I could have smiled now with the way he was handling the conversation. The improv. Astounding truly. "You're here for school and clearly your actions-"
"My actions here have taught me a lot more than you've ever bothered teaching me." I snapped at him. "The only thing you've taught me was pity. And you don't understand the pity I feel every time I look at you."
I followed the last line of the script that Caleb had written. Knowing that that line hit a point for my character and her relationship with her father. I felt it when I had read, and I felt it when I had said it out loud. I had used a voice so calm the anger I had previously brought out wouldn't have been noticeable if my face wasn't present.
The scene was over, and the crew stilled as AJ started clapping, getting off his chair. I wiped the tears from my face, the clapping increasing. Pulling on a smile to everyone, I grinned especially at Rocky. He nudged me with his elbow. "Nice job."
"Back at ya." I complimented before he gave me a hug and went off. The satisfaction of a well-acted scene went through me and I was very happy with what he had portrayed. But the smile on my face soon faded when I caught Caleb's eyes.
Shït.
Shït. Shït.
He turned on his heel and walked fast, I didn't have time to see the expression on his face. His eyes had said enough. And they flared with that familiar irritation that was almost terrifying to see knowing when you're the target of it. Knowing that I was going to follow him, I closed my eyes for a moment as Jake walked over to me. "What's going on with him now?"
"I just need to talk to him," I sighed before telling myself more than Jake that, "It'll be fine."
Jake shrugged, not looking bothered. "He can't be mad at anyone truly. Especially you."
I didn't respond to Jake's comment, grabbing my script from a counter and following Caleb was assertive steps. He entered a room and I follow closely, locking the door behind me. The lights were dim, and the room was filled with blocks and a bunch of other things, but I didn't pay attention to any of it as I focused on Caleb's very tense body. I took a deep breath, ready for the tornado. "Let me explain-"
"You want to change everything, don't you?" He quipped out; his voice tight.
"It wasn't like that."
He's not stupid Octavia, of course, it was, I contradicted in my head.
"You said," He said these words slowly, his hands locked together and his gestures expressive. "That we'd talk if you were going to change something."
"That's what I was supposed to-"
But Caleb wasn't going to let me get a word in. "But you went ahead without my notice. Why the hell would you even think of doing that?"
"Would you let me talk?" I was starting to get irritated.
"No, because you're so fucking stubborn," He pointed at me several times at each word, tension rolling off his body. "And you're acting completely and utterly dense. I'm tired of you messing with my shït."
Dense? "When shït is stupid of course I want to change it."
"Shït?" As if he hadn't said it before.
"Did I stutter?" I snapped, wanting to get a reaction out of him due to his words.
"You're fucking annoying."
"So are you but we already knew that," I shoved the script in his chest, and he caught as I tried to make my way past him. But Caleb wasn't having it. He grabbed me by the arm pulled me into his chest, the script dropping to the ground between us.
Fuck, I thought, sucking in a sharp breath. I looked into the heated gaze of his eyes and God, he smelled good.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't incredibly turned on by his presence right now. Even if we were mad at one another.
I thought I was the only one feeling that way due to our proximity but then Caleb blurted out, "It's hot when you test me."
He didn't mean to say that out loud but I fought a smirk at the pleased feeling within me.
"That's nice," I told him slowly, wondering what was going on in his mind right now because that was random and highly unpredictable coming from his mouth.
Caleb glanced at his hand wrapped around my wrist. "You're not even going to try and get out of my hold?"
"For what reason? I narrowed my eyes at him. "You want to talk even though you're mad at me right now and I want to explain so no I'm staying right here."
The corners of his lips twitched up as he fought not to smirk at me. There he was. "You're reading me better now, aren't you?"
I shrugged nonchalantly, my anger vanishing. "You're getting a little more predictable."
Caleb stared at me a second longer. He blinked twice then chuckled, his head downwards. "Trust me, Octavia. I'm a little more unpredictable than you think I am." He let me go, giving me the notion that he was going to leave.
"Caleb."
"What?"
"Don't be like that, holy. Don't leave."
"You did something behind my back. I just need to clear my head. I'm not going to yell at you." He said calmly. He must have thought that he was yelling before but even through his anger, Caleb hadn't yelled at me once.
"I told you I was going to change something if it felt right," I said to him. "I told you beforehand."
"You didn't tell me what you were going to change." He reminded me.
"I didn't have time. I tried to tell you. I didn't know you'd be in that meeting throughout most of the filming." He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and I glared back at him. "You're still mad."
"No, I'm not."
"You're pissed at me," I said, standing in his way. Caleb looked at me glowering eyes and I wasn't going to back down, not with my sudden realization. "You always get pissed if this happens and I get it. But you only get irritating when shït like this happens. You start insulting people."
"What about you talking about?" He questioned just when it hit me. The right words hit me.
"You can't take criticism well." I said in a tone of awe, pointing at him. "Finally, there's a flaw."
"I can take criticism." He almost said it like a child.
"No, you can't," I almost laughed. "The first day we met, you were so rude because I mentioned how Addison cries so much. You just decided to target me at that time and put into a category because you were hurt. You were hurt that someone said something and tried to fix one of your works. When you were mad at me for changing the script the first time, you insulted how I do my job. You've never had a single person criticize you? You haven't ever read your reviews?"
"I try not to." Caleb licks his lips, the flame in his eyes flickering down and he knew I was right.
"Caleb, you're always going to get negative reviews," I told him. "Not everyone is going to like what you produce. You're always going to get people who are going to say something, give a suggestion. That's all I was doing. I never met to tear you down now that I see you're so insecure about-"
"I'm not insecure," Caleb ran a hand over his face. "I hate that word." He spat out.
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You are, get over it." I stood my ground as he glared at me. "Face it. Not everything is going to be perfect. Get over that. That includes your writing."
"You don't get it."
"Elaborate. Please," I flatly said. "Tell me how I don't get it."
"Everything I write has to be perfect," He spat out, his voice raised a little louder and my eyebrows rose at that. "Everything. Since I was fifteen. I'll read over something a million times. I'll rewrite it if I must, a million times. Until it is perfect. So, to have someone, even someone like you, who has no idea how this feels-"
"Are you kidding me?" I stared at him. "You think I have no idea how you feel? Trying to make every little thing perfect? Caleb, I act. What do you think I've been here for the past couple of months, you dipshit? I've been acting. Since I was in high school every production, I had I would pour my soul into becoming my character. I would ignore everyone and everything just to perfect my acting. So do not tell me that I have no idea how it feels. Don't tell me that I have no idea how it feels to criticized. I am always criticized. The thing is I just don't take it out on people. I actually take the comment and I see what I can do better."
He stayed quiet and I sighed, lowering my voice. "So, don't. Just don't tell me that I have no idea how it feels. Don't tell me that I don't understand because I do. More than you think."
Caleb bit his lip, his hand on the doorknob before he turned to face me with defeat on his face. "I don't want to fight with you."
"I don't want to fight with you too," I admitted.
"I'm upset." He confessed, crossing his arms.
"I can see that. I'm sorry I called it stupid. It wasn't. I was discussing it with AJ beforehand yesterday and he agreed but I told him that I had to be the one to tell you because we had a deal. I just didn't get the chance to and I'm really sorry you weren't informed."
Caleb nodded slowly, understanding. "It's fine."
I unwrapped his crossed arms, putting my own around his torso, burying my face in his neck. "I'm sorry. I really did try to tell you. And you're not a dipshit."
He sighed, reciprocating the hug. "I know. You're not annoying."
I snorted. "Oh, I'm annoying. I'm stubborn to that point. Your words aren't going to affect me."
"No, I shouldn't have said that." He sounded guilty and I knew that if he had the chance to he would take back those words.
"It's fine." I pulled back, putting my hands on his face to make sure he understood that we were past it. "So, the scene?"
"What about it?"
"Your thoughts besides me altering it?" I tilted my head. If there was someone's opinion I trusted, I was his.
Caleb took one hand off me, running it through his hair before exhaling. "I'm not going to lie to you, that was brilliant."
A grin came to my face, "Brilliant you say?"
"Brilliant," Caleb pouted and immediately he was back to who he usually was, making me smile even wider than I thought was physiologically possible. "I'm mad I didn't think of addressing that scene like that myself."
My hands moved to his chest to peer up at him. "I really am sorry for not telling you."
He sighed, putting his other hand back on my waist. "It's fine, Oct. I'm sorry for reacting that way."
"I know you are." A sly grin appeared on my face at a sudden thought. "You find it hot when I test you?" I pursed my lips, a knowing smile spreading on my face.
"Good God," Caleb muttered and I laughed.
"You're the one who said it." I teased, loving that he put himself in a position where it was easy to bother him.
"I say a lot of things when I'm mad." He looked at the side, shrugging it off like he had told me the weather outside.
"Caleb!" I slapped him lightly on the chest, dragging out his name.
He pulled back, a mischievous smile on his face. "Is that what you sound like during sex?"
And we're back, ladies and gentlemen. I wasn't complaining by the smile on my face.
"You'll never get to know," I paused, tilting my head at him. "Or will you?"
"Are you openly flirting with me, Ms. Okonji."
"You're the one always initiating it, Mr. Henderson." I rationalized.
The banter between the two of us, I almost wanted to drown in it. In the intensity of the both of us but I felt like we were sitting on the top of the wall, one leg on either side. On one side was our friendship and the other was a side that was tempting, highly tempting, to cross. And whenever he acted like this with me, I felt like he wanted to go that side of the wall.
He shook his head in a 'what else can I do' fashion, teasing me right back. "Can't help it when I'm around you."
"Oh, shut up."
"Make me." He said playfully, still staring me right in the eyes. The wild look in his eyes seemed to be very evident now and the smile on my face slipped as I looked at him. I mean, really looked at him. From the smirk on his lips to the dancing twinkle in his eyes. To his tanned skin and his hair wavy and curled around his ears, I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted to kiss him bad.
And at the realization of it, I licked my lips and I didn't miss-I didn't miss the when his gaze pulled from my eyes and went to my lips.
Holy shït, holy shït, holy shït.
Caleb's smirk dropped at this point, glancing between my eyes and my lips like he was struggling to decide. And he was struggling, conflict showed in his eyes, but his gaze stayed at my lips and was fixated. I felt heat course through me and if I wasn't feeling hormonal before this, I most definitely was now.
I took my hands from his chest and Caleb watched the movement while he could as I linked my arms around his neck, letting him know it was okay. He took his gaze off my hands before looking back at me, then back to my lips and I felt cloudy, too cloudy from the want, from the need and the waiting and the tension and everything surrounding him and whenever I was near him came alive.
But when he tightened his grip on my waist, I fought the smile that was making its way onto my face. Looking in his eyes, I recognized the slight desire in his heated gaze, and I wanted that look to stay. My breathing became shaky and so did his under my hands as he swallowed before he made his decision.
Caleb leaned in, Jesus Christ, he leaned in. I followed suit, my hands sliding down, almost gripping at his shirt for the anticipation for him kiss me.
But I watched as he paused, a fraction away, his lips ghosting against my own. The desire in his eyes fading away as he blinked rapidly as if he woke from a trance. As if he didn't want to but he had to, Caleb's hands went to my own on his chest, pulling them down and off him gently.
He didn't want to kiss me. No, I corrected, narrowing my eyes at him before taking a needed step back that he couldn't do himself. He did want to kiss me, but he hesitated.
Not even feeling any type of rejection when I knew the truth, I took a step back, my eyes looking over the room we were in. I could've felt hurt by that. I could've but I wasn't as I assessed him with my eyes.
Caleb Henderson wanted to kiss me. And something between us made him stop himself from doing so.
Ok, but he wanted to kiss me, my subconscious kept pointing out.
"I had asked you before you went to the meeting if you were joining a couple of us later to get dinner? You want to come?" I acted as if that little moment between us didn't happen.
Yes, I wanted Caleb and I knew he wanted me at this point. It wasn't just harmless flirting anymore. It was the actual thing. But again, something stopped him, and I wasn't going to prod until he wanted to.
A knock sounded on the door and both Caleb and I jumped. I cleared my throat as Kady entered the room. "Sorry to interrupt but Octavia, you're needed."
"Thank you." I told her, turning to Caleb who was still semi-flustered.
He regained himself, shaking his head slowly at me, his eyes wary as they laid on me. He could see through my words, clearly and looked like he wanted to explain himself. Explain his actions but fought against it. Especially with Kady now in the room. "I can't but thank you for the invitation."
I nodded, starting to move past Kady to head back to the set when I gave him a small wave and smile. "See you later, then."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Caleb and I almost kissed today," I said to her in a calm voice, but I was anything but calm.
There was a pause on her end. She took a very long time to process my words. Too long of a time that I had the impression that either she didn't hear me, or she was on something. Or high. Sydney didn't smoke so I went with the first option. I opened my mouth to repeat what I had said when she finally spoke up. "What do you mean almost?"
"I mean that it was about to happen. One set after I made him mad and you know what that does to me but there was a moment. Then he pulled back."
"Pulled back? Pulled back? Why the hell did he-pulled back?" I could imagine the face Sydney was making.
"He was second-guessing it," I told him. "I could see it in his eyes, so he pulled back."
"But he wanted to?"
"I know he wanted to, he's the one who leaned in first."
"Oh shït."
"Exactly." I agreed.
"Are you going to talk to him about it?"
I licked my lips. "That's just awkward."
"Since when do you care if it's awkward. Am I talking to the right person? Is this Octavia or her evil clone Heather?"
"Why the hell would my clone's name be Heather-never mind," I shook my head. "Caleb's my friend."
"Who you want to kiss." Almost did.
"He's my friend."
"Who you want to touch." Kind of did but not in the context she was talking about.
"He's my friend." I strained.
"Who you want to fuck." She said bluntly. Haven't done that and I think I would metaphorically burst if I did.
"Anyways, I played it off as if nothing happened. Maybe he just needs to clear his head or something. I'm not going to push it. I have more important things to worry about."
"Oh, yeah?"
I took a seat in my bed. "Yes, Sydney. There's more to life than men."
"Very true." She agreed a smile in her voice. "Are you okay?"
I was silent for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts going through my head. Thoughts that were already there but became an even bigger mess with the conflict that was Caleb. "You know that I got the part and everything right?"
"Yeah."
"I'm ecstatic," I told her. "I get to shoot in LA. Become a whole new character. Try out different things. I'm happy for the role-"
"But?" Her voice was quiet, that one word filled with concern.
"But I feel I could do more, you know? Besides just acting overall."
"Elaborate." I heard a shuffle on the other side, and I had a feeling she had taken a seat too, paralleling my actions without knowing.
"I don't know, Syd. I love what I do. Every single day I get what I love. I love my job."
"You and I are one of the lucky ones, Oct." She commented.
I let out a little laugh because it was true. "Yeah, we are. We both love with we do. But I think that I need to do something more with acting or with myself. To feel more whole? I can't describe it. I just need to do something else, in addition."
"You'll figure out what you have to do," She encouraged me. "You got time."
"Yeah," I grabbed the sweater that was dangling in my closet. The red sweater. I threw it on, and it smelled like him and suddenly I'm reminded of what could have happened between us. "I guess I do."
I shook my head as my imagination went wild with the thought of being with Caleb. "You're thinking about him, aren't you?"
I groaned, leaning back into my bed and falling onto the duvet. I crawled up on it, shoving my face in one of my pillows. Holy fuck, even my pillow smelled like him. "We could have kissed."
"You could have done more than kissed." Sydney decided to point out.
"Did you have to say that?" I exclaimed.
"I'm sorry. Was that not what you were thinking? I seem to be talking to your evil clone Heather if I'm not able to read you."
"Heather, the clone and Octavia, the real one both say shut up."
"Can't wait to see you in a couple more weeks."She mentioned.
"Wish I was able to fly you over for my birthday."
"Sorry scheduling didn't work out in our favor." I frowned, a little sad but it wasn't her fault.
"It's fine," I assured her. But Sydney and I together on any of our birthdays always resulted in a wild night. I was going to have a good time during my birthday, I was sure of that but with her? I would have one of the greatest times ever.
"But I get to see you," She said in a light voice. "And you get to see me. The greatest present you could ever ask for."
"Cocky, much?"
I knew she was grinning when she said, "Speaking of cöck, you could have seen Ca-"
I laughed, glad that she was able to fix any mood of mine in a matter of seconds. "Shut up!"