This is a lengthy one, get settled.
Chapter Twenty-Three: "The Human Race Depended On Your Procreation."
"YOU SAID ROOF," I muttered to Caleb, tapping my foot against his nice floors at his suggestion.
I made sure to appear at what he considered our time, taking a much-needed walk over to his place. Krystal and Angie were both still awake at this hour. They both asked me where I was heading out when I had slipped into Nike shoes by the front door. When I said Caleb's, they both weren't fazed. I wouldn't be either. Caleb and I worked together, and we were friends, hanging out outside of the workplace was normal.
"It doesn't matter if it's on the roof. All that matters is that we are outside. It's a warm May night, come on October," His brown eyes lit up as he grabbed a pair of Nike slides for me, putting them on the ground. "You see what I did there? With the months?"
I slid my feet into the slides as he wore his own shaking my head at his words but not helping my case when I cracked a smile. "Shut up."
He grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the terrace of his apartment. In the middle of the terrace, there was a table with chairs surrounding it. Low lights hug on the wall of his apartment, illuminating outside well enough for me to see the box on the center of the table. I couldn't help it when my lips parted in surprise. "A puzzle."
"Yeah," Caleb shrugged as if it was nothing. How could it be nothing if he remembered what I had told him? "Conversation may be a little heavy tonight, so I thought I'd get something to keep us occupied."
He was really going to make me talk about this. About Keith. Oh, God. I knew Caleb wouldn't pressure me into saying something I didn't want to speak about, but he knew I was going to tell him. Angie was right. There was something about this man that made you want to tell him everything and he wouldn't hold it against you. He wouldn't even judge you for it. He'd just listen because he wanted to.
Staring up at him, I really wondered why I disliked him so much when we first met. And yet here I was, at 2 in the morning on his terrace with his hand in mine.
Development? I think the fuck yes.
"Caleb-"
"C'mon," He squeezed my hand, dropping it as he made his way to the table. "Play the tunes. It's never a night like us without music playing in the background and you singing like I can't hear you."
I sighed, deciding to just go with his antics as he took a seat next to me, opening the box. "Okay, what do we do first?"
I narrowed my eyes at him after flicking through my phone to find the playlist I liked listening to whenever I was with him. "You've never done a puzzle." It should've been said as a question but by his tone, I had to let him confirm my statement.
He's never done a puzzle.
If he tells me he's never eaten pizza before, I'll walk out of here, I decided.
"I don't have the patience to ever actually sit down and do one," He explained, rubbing his hands together. "But I'll do it tonight. So, what first?"
"Um," I played a song, putting my phone down on the table. "Find all the edge and corner pieces and we can make our way from there."
Caleb started to dump out the entire thing and my eyes widened. "STOP!"
"What?"
"Honey," I said in a voice meant to baby him and he rolled his eyes in annoyance. The annoyance faded fast due to the small smile on his face. "Relax. Take a moment to get a good look at the puzzle so you get a sense of what we're dealing with."
"I bought the puzzle," He informed me, putting his chain in his mouth as his face emitted snarky attitude, "I know what it looks like."
"Oh yeah?" I asked, putting my hands on his cheeks so he couldn't turn his head. "Without looking at the box tell me the image on it."
Caleb smirked. "It's a house with trees surrounding it."
Close.
It was a bunch of birds flying over what I assumed to be a sea.
I made a buzzer sound, taking my hands off his face before taking a seat next to him. "You failed."
"Just do the damn puzzle."
We did the puzzle for about a half an hour without speaking to one another. In the most silence one can obtain in the middle of the night with soft music playing in the background, the song changed as I glanced up at Caleb. His hair was hovering on his forehead and he put his hands through it to push it back all sexy like, but I didn't comment on it. To make matters worse, he had his chain still in his mouth.
Caleb caught me looking, a smirk on his face. He tapped my foot with his own under the table as he tucked the chain under his shirt. "Like what you see?"
I pursed my lips, leaning back. "You like what you see?"
Caleb gave me the once over and I resisted the urge to cover my face at the fact that he was staring at me so openly. I would never have minded that, but I could feel myself heat up with the movement of his eyes. I watched him shrug nonchalantly, continuing his search in the box. "Not bad."
"Not bad?" I exclaimed and he laughed.
"I'm only joking," He tapped my foot with his own again, letting it stay there. "You know you're beautiful, Octavia. I'm not blind."
It should be illegal to have compliments come out of your mouth Romero Henderson, I wanted to say. Really affects a person.
It was almost intimidating to me and I found myself intrigued by that, shooting him a wink. "You're not so bad yourself, Romero."
"Not bad?" He mocked.
I laughed, putting my leg over his own. I reached forward, my hand touching where his chain was peeking out. Caleb kept his eyes on my face as I brought the silver chain out, letting it rest against the fabric of his shirt. "Where'd you get this?"
"Sam." He said, mentioning his best friend. "It was for my eighteenth birthday. Originally the piece was attached to a bracelet, but I liked necklaces more." Caleb's fingers replaced mine as he scooted closer to me to show me a pendant, I had never noticed dangling from the chain. A piece of metal shaped into a curly-haired boy winked back at me in the light, his hand stretched out in what I assumed to be a lock for the other half.
"I'm guessing he has the other one."
Caleb's eyes glanced down at the pendant held between my index finger and thumb before looking back in my eyes. "You guessed correctly."
"Your friendship must have an insane tight bond." I couldn't help but murmur.
"I told you. We've been through hell and back together." Caleb said in a soft voice, his tongue running along his bottom lip.
I nodded in understanding, my hand still playing with his chain. Sam lived in Nottingham, England. Caleb's family was split with wherever his brother was, where his mother's side of the family was back in El Salvador and where his Tia Maria, I presumed, lived back home. But what was he doing here? In Italy?
He said that he moved here straight after high school to a whole new continent by himself. I couldn't think of anything other than education purposes then him coming here but Caleb didn't attend any post-secondary, he had stuck to his writing.
"Why did you come to Italy?" I suddenly asked him.
"Inspiration for novels," He attached two pieces as if I wasn't close to him. His eyes weren't on me as he spoke. "I needed a new setting."
I would have accepted that answer. I pretended I did with an understanding nod. But I had a good sense of Caleb's character after spending a lot of time with him and that response was automatic. The thought process of his answer too fast and too robotic as if he had rehearsed that response multiple times.
Inspiration for novels, my ass, I thought, retracting my hand from the chain and pretending to work on the puzzle. He was lying but I wasn't going to pin him on that.
Looking at Caleb, I couldn't help but stare as he concentrated on the puzzle. There was always something else going on in there, but I don't think he told people everything. The only person who probably knew everything was his best friend, Sam, I figured with the way he speaks about him.
I tried focusing on the puzzle for as songs passed by and I sang each of them under my breath. But I was trying to figure out in my head what could have possibly led Caleb to come to Italy in the first place.
I've seen the way his mind works whenever he writes a story. The man doesn't need that much inspiration for him to pack up his things and travel to a completely different environment, teaching himself a new language and culture.
If he thought that I would believe that answer, he had another thing coming.
"Wait, wait, wait a second." I moved my eyes from the puzzle to Caleb's face. His eyebrows were furrowed as he fixed his gaze on me.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You don't know how to speak Italian."
Completely unaware, I had been singing along to an Italian song playing from my phone that I had added to the playlist the other day. "I am very aware of my capabilities thank you very much."
"Then how do you sing the song perfectly? Also, why is Italian music on here?"
"I don't know. I just do that with songs I don't know the language to. It doesn't get hard to figure out the words from there. And I like music that isn't English. Just because I don't speak the language doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. What are you? The music police?"
"You want me to arrest you?" He raised an eyebrow, that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Want handcuffs on? Kinky, I like it."
"Grab them. You'll like it better if you act on it." I said back and Caleb shook his head, smiling as he proceeded with the puzzle.
He rests his chin on his hand, his fingers curled into a fist as he laid his eyes on me. "When did you start singing, hmm?"
I pursed my lips, drawing my eyes away from him. He too observant for my liking. "I don't sing."
"Octavia." He broke down the syllables of my name, pronouncing it slowly.
I sighed, leaning back as I made my way through connecting pieces. "I don't know. Um, I used to sing in choir back in my old neighbourhood when I was younger. Singing didn't stick when I wanted to be an actress."
"What would you be if you weren't an actress?" He questioned.
I don't even know the last time I've been asked a question like this before. It takes me a good moment before I think of a response. "I would have been an entrepreneur or something."
"I can see you being the boss of your own company. That image suits you well when you don't seem like a wild party animal."
"I got drunk with you one time." And that time was nothing compared to what I could have put Caleb through that night. I considered him lucky.
"One very eventful time. There needs to be more in the future."
"More what? More talking? More dancing? More hickies?" I leaned back in my chair, awaiting his response to my last query.
Caleb winked at me. "If you think so we can make that happen."
I think Caleb expected me to revolt from his answer, but I gave him a slow smile as I leaned forward. "You promise?"
Caleb chuckled at my response, going back to the puzzle. He thought this was a little game we were playing. How cute. A little banter we were creating with one another. I could have fun with that if we were both cooperative. And with the way Caleb was playing footsie with me under the table, I figured he was.
A more interesting Italian song started playing and Caleb bopped his head to it. "This song is good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Immediately forgetting the puzzle and grabbing my hand just as I went to try matching pieces together, he stood. "C'mon, dance with me."
"Caleb." I tried to stop him, but he pulled me up, moving us over to where the table was.
"It's Romero," He joked, stretching out the syllables in his middle name. "Now come on. Move the hips." He placed his hands on my waist and I shook my head, loving how ridiculous he was as he tried to act funny. When he pulled a laugh from me, he smiled, slowing down his awful movements. "Okay, okay, this better?"
He took my hands, placing one on his shoulder and the other locked on his own as he moved us around the terrace. His movements were calculated, I realized as I watched the movement of his feet. I could dance depending on the music but this? This was music I could grab a friend and dance horribly while laughing like crazy. But with Caleb?
Even though he made faces to distract me from seeing how seriously he was taking his movements, this guy could dance. When he twirled me, I let out a little unexpected gasp, looking up at him as he pulled me back in. "Oh, jheeze, Romero has moves." I pointed out and he laughed.
He wiggled his eyebrows. "I told you I was an okay dancer."
"No, not okay. You're making Shakira's belly dancing look weak right now, babe."
Caleb laughed loudly at my words, slowing down our movements as the song changed as well. His laugh cut through the air, cut through the silence of Milan at 2 a.m. If there wasn't a clearer sound before tonight it was right there when he laughed.
As we swayed in silence, Caleb took his eyes off our surroundings. His eyes held my own and I fought the need not to look down at his lips as I became aware of how close our faces were. "Why did little Kenny call?" He asked in a soft tone.
"I don't know," I answered honestly with a small exhale. I pressed my face against his shoulder as he moved us back and forth.
"Has it been happening often?" Caleb questioned in a small voice, his hand moved from my waist and the other out of my grasp, pulling me closer as he locked his hands on my back. I settled for locking my arms around him, my eyes over his shoulder as I peered out the view from his apartment.
"The first couple of times he's been persistent," I told him. "But now not so much. When he called earlier that was the first time in a little while."
"You haven't picked up, have you?"
"No," I tilted my head up, peering at the sky for slight comfort at the topic of Keith.
Caleb cocked his head up too, way far back to get a view of what I was looking at and I laughed at his face. As his face slowly but surely turned red, his eyes flickered around the sky. "Where's that Octavia star?"
I couldn't help but smile as he pulled himself back up. "You remembered."
"Of course, I did. Why would I forget?"
"Because it's stupid," I admitted.
"It's not stupid. Since when do you care about what other people think of you," He retorted, looking confused at my comment. "Now which one is it?"
"That one." I pointed up at it and Caleb stared at it with me.
"Pretty." He commented.
"They all look the same." I gave him my 'don't kid with me' face.
"Yeah, but it's your star," He took me in his arms again, swaying us back and forth. "That's why it's pretty."
It was in mid-spin when I realized he was waiting for me to continue the conversation. He respected my boundaries and waited for me to talk because the bastard knew I was going to. "I've been cheated on before I was with him."
Caleb jaw dropped. "Twice? What the actual fuck," He was in literal shock and stopped moving, staring at me with wide eyes. Caleb licked his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. "Who was the first?"
"High school boyfriend."
"High school?" He waved a hand and scoffed. "That doesn't count."
"Caleb-"
He scoffed again, "Child's play."
"High school relationships aren't dumb."
"Trust me, my best friend is married to the girl he met in high school and she's one of my closest friends. I know they aren't dumb. But continue."
"He hooked up with my then best friend."
"Dick," Caleb spat out, his eyebrows furrowed. "That's low. For him and the best friend. That's low."
"Yeah. Wasn't exciting to catch them in the fact either." I bit my lip, thinking back to that time and pushed it out of my mind. It was in the past and it didn't matter anymore. To an extent, Caleb was right. It was high school. If I held onto things in high school at 24, that'd be an issue.
"What was his name?" Caleb asked.
"Jack."
"Jack?" He exclaimed. "You dated a guy named Jack? Like Jack Daniels? Like Jack Astors? That's a stupid- okay, I've always liked the name Jack, I can't shit on it. But doesn't ignore the fact that he did a shit thing. I hope he grew up."
"He works with Victor sometimes," I said, referring to Jake's Youtuber boyfriend.
"He's a Youtuber?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "But I was a kid and my idiot ass was in love and ignorant as ever so-"
"No," Caleb's eyes widened as I filled him in on the aspects of my love life. "Don't tell me you did what I think you did."
"About a couple of months after I did my first movie, I was about eighteen, I took him back. It didn't last. He did the same thing." I informed him, feeling nothing as I said those words. Jack was a part of my life I didn't care to speak about because he had no importance to me. He was my first example at young love that I took as a lesson and moved on. I remember the time I was done with him, said my goodbye to his face and never spoke to him again.
The biggest difference between my exes was that what I had felt for Jack was nothing like what I had felt for Keith. Maybe that's why not talking to Jack after that time was easier.
If Jack called me up again, I wouldn't have a reason to answer the phone. But if I did, I would have a civil conversation with him. It wouldn't be hard to hear his voice again. With Keith? It was unpredictable how a conversation with him face to face would go. It was too risky and chaotic, the thought alone made me swallow hard.
"Oh, Oct." Caleb mumbled but I didn't look at him to see the expression on his face. I kept my eyes on the ground as we continued swaying to the music in the background. The song was a little sadder and I hated the effect that music could have my mood because I frowned.
"I didn't seek out for anyone after that, so I had flings," I told Caleb. "I always left or ended things first before they could, you know?"
"Mmhmm." Caleb nodded in agreement and because I knew where this story was going suddenly, I couldn't face him because he could read a person too easily. As if I had taken all my clothes off in front of Caleb, I felt very exposed. Not used to this feeling and not liking it one bit, I took my arms off his neck, letting my hands rest of his chest for a moment before turning and heading over to the railing.
"Then Keith came around," I pressed a hand to my temple, looking out at the view of the houses, the streets, so alien yet so familiar from the months spent here. "He was so different you know? Had me thinking I'm going to marry this man because I thought he was everything to me. After every fight, every make-up, every single little thing we were dramatic about, even the breaks to focus on ourselves. Then he had just fucked everything over."
Caleb walked over to me, leaning against the railing as he kept his eyes on me. "How did you find out?"
I crossed my arms, almost hugging myself. "TMZ."
"What?" His eyes almost popped out of his head. "Are you serious?"
"Would I be lying?" I sighed, letting one hand go to trace along the railing.
"So, when you found out..." He trailed off.
"The entire world found out too. A video of him at a nightclub having a very good time with his now girlfriend." I let out a little laugh and Caleb looked at me confused.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because right before the video, the timestamp showed that it was 8:13 when he kissed her and at 8:09 that night he had texted me saying that he loved me." I pulled my gaze my finger that traced a tiny heart, glancing up at him.
Caleb didn't look at me with pity in his eyes when I had said that and for that I have never been so grateful.
Instead, he stared right back at me because I was getting riled up. The talk of Keith always made me overwhelmed. I uncrossed my arms, my eyes moving towards the view again. "And it sucks because he played me. He played me into thinking he was the one. That he was going to be that person for me. We dated for two years, on and off, yes but only because of our jobs not because of anything else. Just that. And I was okay with breaks and he always talked about loyalty. Twenty four-seven, that fucking hypocrite."
Caleb watched me push off the railing and start to pace. I always paced when I was getting heated and I haven't felt this heated in a long time. "And now, he calls me like it's nothing. As if nothing has ever happened. Nothing. Like I didn't find out that he's been with other women countless times while we were together."
He stopped my pacing by standing in front of me and I took a deep breath, trying to be still my adrenaline. He held my gaze for a moment, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Can I say something?"
"Do you ever have to ask?"
He chuckled. "First, you loved him, and I understand that. I understand that feeling of love more than you think. But I'm glad you didn't get back together with him despite everything you've been through. Some people would and that's them, that's what they would do in their situations but you're you. And I know that you wouldn't take him back if you were the last two people on earth and the human race depended on your procreation-"
"Caleb."
He let out a breathy laugh. "You know what I mean. I'm just glad you didn't speak to him."
"Why are you glad?"
"Because you don't need to. You're going to love someone else and he's going to treat you a million times better than your exes. He's going to love you a million times better than your exes. Because despite what life has been throwing you, you deserve to find love and you will."
He's the definition of a one-night stand, Angie had told me. While Caleb did scream sex appeal, standing in front of me in a black t-shirt and jeans looking as smouldering as the day I met him, he couldn't possibly be just that. He was a great friend and a person overall.
"So do you." I couldn't help but say.
Caleb let out a breath, running a hand through his hair as he looked down on the ground. "We'll see."
There was a lot of pressure in those words.
I frowned, my problem already forgotten as I stared at him. "What do you mean? I know love sucks sometimes but," I muttered, glancing up at him. "You been in love, Romero?"
He glanced at me, fixing his gaze on me. His eyes stared at me for a moment as if deciding something in his head before he spoke, "You have so many different faces and I think that's what makes you an iconic actress. But you're making that face right now where I feel the need to tell you everything."
Oh, look who's talking.
"You don't have to," I assured him.
"Oh, but you know that I'm going to," Caleb patted my cheek. "Stop making the face."
"Oh baby," I pouted, cupping his face and I patted his cheek right back. "The face is here to stay. Nothing is by force."
Caleb chuckled lightly at my words before his face settled in a deep frown. He leaned back and I turned off the music that was playing. "Is this going to get sad?" I said, shifting pieces around.
"We haven't had a tragic story in a while, huh?" He raised an eyebrow. "Let's finish the puzzle as I tell you."
This puzzle was not going to get finished anytime soon, I said to myself, looking down at the 1000 piece puzzle.
"It's not even sad, it's tragic? Oh my God." I pressed a hand to my temple to bring some light to this and my mission was accomplished when Caleb cracked a small smile.
"Kind of," Caleb shook his head as if he was waking out of a daydream. "Sorry, it's been a long time since I've told someone this. I don't know where to start."
I felt my expression shift at the change of mood in the atmosphere. I didn't like it. I didn't like it because sadness didn't suit him. Even when he spoke about his parents, it wasn't like this.
I frowned, as we sat down, glancing at him. "Would it be easier if I asked questions? Instead of you just saying it like a story this time?" I suggested quietly.
Caleb leaned back in his chair, nodding slowly. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be better."
I bit my lip, looking down at the puzzle. There was still a long way to go but I wasn't in any rush to finish this and I knew he wasn't either. I wanted him to know that there wasn't any rush in him telling me this information either. There was no need to tell me of all people this information. I stopped touching the puzzle, looking up at him to find him already looking at me. "Caleb, I mean it, you don't have to tell me."
"That's not fair. You told me about Karen and Julie."
I held a hand to my mouth at his change of names for my ex-boyfriends, holding in my laughter and he smiled softly. "Caleb, I mean it."
"Octavia, you're my friend. Friends open up to one another. Besides, I feel right telling you this information. Unless you don't want to hear-"
"It's not that I don't want to hear it," I explained. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Caleb shifted in his chair a couple of times before settling in his seat. "I'm comfortable. Ask away."
I shook my head at his actions, looking down at the table when the light mood changed again. I could feel it shift and that made tear my eyes from him, focusing on the puzzle as I asked, "So, you've been in love?"
"Once." The brightness in his eyes dimmed slightly as he remembered.
"Only one time?"
"Yeah."
There was a pause between us as I put together two pieces. My leg started bouncing up and down in anticipation, but I didn't notice. I could faintly hear cars driving but I blocked that out too, focusing on him. "What was their name?"
"Her name was Bethany." Caleb's voice sounded a little stronger now.
"That's a pretty name." I couldn't help but say because it was true.
I glanced up at him, his eyes were on the ground and he nodded in agreement. "She was a pretty person."
"How old were you?"
"I started loving her when I was 12, she died when I was 16."
"How old was she?"
"She was 16 too."
16.
My heart sunk for him at those words, at that number. My lips parted in shock before I collected myself.
But Caleb's eyes weren't on me to notice my expression. He kept them on the table, his fingers laced together. He sat too still for me this time. He was naturally a restless person, so this freaked me out, making me stop my movements on the puzzle.
"You met her when you were twelve?"
"Yeah, not too long after I met Sam. They were twins."
Then it hit me.
"Bethany Cahill?" I tested out loud and Caleb nodded, confirming my thoughts.
"Bethany Cahill," I repeated slowly, connecting the dots already.
Lucas was my best friend's ex-boyfriend and I went to school with him and his brother for four years. They came from the richest family in our town so if something happened to their family, it wasn't hard for the rest of our town to know. Especially if it involved the only daughter in the family. "We went to the same school for a bit," I said to Caleb softly.
"Wait, what?" Caleb's head perked up and he finally looked at me. "You went to Hamilton Academy of the Arts?"
I nodded, feeling immediate sympathy for the man sitting here as I shirt on the large chair, crossing my legs on the chair. "She was my mentor during the summer to transition to high school. You know those little programs they do for grade nines coming in or whatever?"
Caleb nodded as I continued. I only continued because I talking about my brief experience meeting the person, he had loved all those years ago made him seem a little less sad. "I remember getting excited after making all my new friends go see her that September because she was a nice person and made me feel like I belonged at that school. A singer."
"She loved singing, yeah." Caleb murmured.
"But I heard she moved back to where she came from. She had an accent, so I knew she was from England."
It wasn't that hard to imagine Bethany Cahill in my head. With dark brown hair and green eyes, she was a beautiful person inside and out. I could almost recall entering the high school I would attend for years for the very first time all those years ago. She was the first one to say hi to me. I remembered that because she had a presence that had been very hard to forget.
Looking at Caleb now, who had loved her was proof. As he listened to what I had said, his lips were parted in shock at another familiar connection we had.
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, her, Sam and some of their siblings moved back to Bath in England that year because their mom had some business thing while the others stayed back home."
I already had a good idea of where the story was headed. Back in high school, I had friends that knew everything that was going on in the world. With Lucas and Joey Cahill at our old high school, people knew a lot about their big family.
I hesitated before asking about it. "It was in Bath, right?"
"She was coming back from a party with her then-boyfriend, Drake. He was driving the car, Sam was in it along with their older brother, Toby. Drake turned during a yellow light which was perfectly fine, but a drunk driver hit them, and she was killed on impact."
I held in my wince, closing my eyes for a moment. "Fuck." I whispered.
"It just affected everyone differently," Caleb muttered, his fist was on the table and watched as closed it and opened it. "Looking back, I didn't handle it properly and neither did Sam. Especially Sam."
I stopped myself from asking about Sam, but I didn't. I didn't know his best friend personally, so I refrained from intruding. Instead, I focused on Caleb as I asked my next question. "I know it's been almost ten years but-"
"Did I get over her dying? Over her being gone? Is that what you're asking?" Caleb's nostrils flared and I stilled at the change in his tone. There was no emotion to it and if he was trying to build up walls now, it was the wrong time especially if it was against me.
I lifted my chin, staring at him as he stared right back. "Yes, Caleb. I'm asking."
Caleb held my gaze before sighing, wiping a hand over his face before giving me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I just-"
"It's okay," I gave him a reassuring smile, patting his locked hands with one of my own. "I understand." And even though it wasn't my house, I stood, heading towards doors back inside. "Do you want anything to drink?"
"Water's fine," He kept his eyes down almost as if he was ashamed of how he had acted moments ago. "Thanks."
I made my way back in the apartment, letting out a breath as I made my way to the kitchen.
"This is fucked." I couldn't help but whisper, letting this tap water run as I searched to find two cups.
Caleb and I already had the connection of being raised in the same town. We knew the same places, walked through the same paths before we had anything to do with who we were now. Now apparently, we've met a lot of the same people.
The Cahills were an extremely rich family from old and new money. I remember my friends obsessing over them back years ago. If my friends back, then had been obsessing then imagine the world obsessing over them as well. An attractive family, with a billionaire tycoon as a father and a knockout ex-model now designer mother, they had settled from England to move to my hometown for only God knows why.
It didn't take long for the world to fall in love with them little by little.
So, when Bethany Cahill died almost ten years ago, the entire town didn't just know it. The world did too.
As I filled up the cups with water, I focused on the sound the water made going down the drain as I thought of Caleb. Caleb who didn't handle her death well all those years ago. I wondered what he had done to cope with it. But I shook my head, deciding that I was better off not knowing.
People have done different things to deal with the death of a loved one. I've witnessed it from grief to anger to alcohol to drugs to isolation. The range was wide, and Caleb had fallen into one of them for a moment.
Caleb of all people. Caleb who always had the bright smile on his face had-I shook my head, finding it hard to believe but at the same time, it wasn't.
"But has he moved on?" I mumbled to myself for his own sake.
Grabbing the filled cups, I headed back to the table. Caleb was looking at the sky, his chair turned. I followed his gaze as I put his glass down in front of him. "Are you staring at my star?"
"Yeah. It's somewhat comforting." He said, ripping his gaze from it before looking down at the glass. "Thank you."
"No problem."
Caleb took a long sip of his water before clearing his throat to speak. "The night she died she had told her boyfriend him that she loved me."
This time my eyes widened at that information.
Caleb fixed his eyes on me. "I found out about her loving me when I was 18. Spent about a year thinking to myself of what could have been before moving past that."
He sat up straighter and I let out a little breath of relief for him. Just for him. Because he was still here and even though he had been a teenager when he had experienced love like that, emotions ran higher back then. He could've done unhealthy things that would have led to him not being in front of me right now.
"You did the right thing." I couldn't help but say.
"I had to," Caleb said. "It took time for me to move on after she died, you know? I was coping with losing one of the closest people to me but I couldn't show it that much because while I was trying to move past it my best friend was dealing with the same thing, but he took it harder than anyone else. I had to try to help him while trying to figure things out myself," Caleb exhaled, running a hand through his hair. He played with his chain, his eyes on the table and he was zoned out as he spoke, lost in his thoughts, in his memories. "I mean, looking back, how else would one be able to even think about losing someone they had such a close bond with."
I nodded and Caleb blinked once then twice before moving his eyes back to me. His gaze looked a little clearer now that he wasn't delving into the past in his head.
"I don't think anyone's asked me that question that you asked," He said softly. "That's why I cut you off because you were going to say it and a part of me didn't want it to come out of your mouth. If I was over her being gone or over her in general. I mean, it's been ten years, right? What would I be holding onto?"
For once, I didn't know what to say. I didn't have to say anything. He had gone through that question in his head multiple times over the years.
I watched him shift, resting his chin on one fist and pushing a puzzle piece with the other. "You ever believe in the idea of soulmates?"
"I mean, kind of, yeah. Why?"
He exhaled, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek as he tried to figure out the next words he was trying to say. I don't think those words have been spoken before from him, so I listened attentively as he spoke softly. "I feel like that was my only chance of love, Octavia. Even though it's been years. Years, almost ten since she passed but I feel like that was my only chance."
"Have you ever given love a chance after her?" I asked him.
He ran a hand over his face, grabbing the water I had given him. Caleb downed the drink, setting the cup back down before saying, "It's not that easy."
I know that Caleb. I understood that but that wasn't the point I was trying to make here.
"You didn't answer the question."
"Yeah," His eyes dropped from me again. His thumbs fidgeted with one another in a restless state. "It didn't work out."
And that was going to be a story for another time, wasn't it? I rhetorically questioned.
"So what?" I stared at him, surprised. "You're going to give up?"
"Oct-"
He looked like he was going to. Caleb Romero Henderson, the friend I've come to know have looked like he was going to give up on finding love. And that surprised the hell out of me.
He didn't look like the type of person to give up on anything. He seemed like a dedicated person. He wrote dozens of stories and stayed dedicated to writing them. But he was going to give up on being dedicated to finding love one day?
"Don't know why you're going to when you've only tried once," I told him. "Love comes in different ways. Caleb, you write romance novels and you're depriving yourself of finding love again one day? I refuse to accept that."
"Octavia." He tried cutting me off but I didn't let him speak.
"No, no, you're going to find love one day. Whether it lasts for five seconds or your entire life, you're going to feel like that again. You're acting like you're literally on your death bed, you're 25, Caleb. Things take time, you don't just think 'I'm not going to find love again, oh fuck this'. No."
Caleb looked a little taken aback from my outburst but I was just getting started when I stood. "Can't believe you," I muttered him, crossing my arms.
"Octavia, you can't possibly be mad at me over this." He said, standing up too.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at your thought process, Romero," I said, poking him in his chest. "It doesn't make sense why you think you won't find love again. It'll come. You're a fit guy, you're going to find the right girl one day and when someone shows interest in you, don't be down to have some kind of one-night stand with them or some shit, get to know them if they want to get to know you."
"I don't have one night stands." He defended and I raised my eyebrows.
"Oh yeah," I pursed my lips. "When was the last time you've been out on a date? An actual proper date?"
He thought about it, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand before shrugging. "I don't know."
"When was the last time you had sex? And with that person, did you see them again after that time? Along with the person before that? And the person before that?" His silence was my answer.
He didn't have to tell me. I knew it. And I had a feeling that this was how he had coped with Bethany's death back then. At least this was one of his coping mechanisms. I called it from the beginning, judging by his silence and so did everyone else around me. Caleb was a player, yes, he didn't have to deny it, I knew it by his flirting, by his ease.
But he was Caleb. And while I haven't known him for very long, I knew he was going to find whoever would be with him eventually.
I crossed my arms, staring right back at him. When I realized he was still in semi shock at my words and couldn't bother to respond. "If you're going to give me advice, here's my advice to you: take your advice too. I'm going to find love again after Keith. Not now, but eventually. You told me that and I believe that. And you're going to, too. Eventually. Keep having flings. I don't care. Do as you please but don't give up on love. Things just take time." Caleb didn't speak after that and I took that as a chance to continue the puzzle. "Well, if you aren't going to say anything then let's do the puzzle, hmm?"
Caleb kept his eyes on me as I worked but I froze when he said, "I think you need to talk to Keith."
"What?" No.
"You need to see him again."
"I don't," I said sternly. I didn't.
"Yes, you-"
"Caleb," I stepped towards him, grabbing his hands so he could understand how I felt about his idea. And his idea left my heart beating fast in my chest I thought it was going to explode. "I don't want to see him."
"You should," He told me, loosening one hand from my grip. "You're saying all this talk about eventually but you're not giving yourself a chance."
"Eventually, Caleb. I'm not looking to date anyone at this time."
"You're not looking for anyone to date at this time because you haven't been able to fully move on from him," He tapped me. "Look at you."
Caleb reached a handout, holding it over my chest to feel my heartbeat. He wasn't fazed at the palpitations. "You should face him. You're scared of even the thought of seeing him again. Why is that?"
He didn't let me respond as he took my other hand. "You don't know what to say when you talk to him again. You're going to see him again whether you want to or not. Los Angeles isn't that big of a city and the industry has two good actors who've dated? You're going to end up seeing one another again-"
"I know," I admitted.
"How would you respond when you see him again? Huh? Are you going to run away? The Octavia I know wouldn't run away. I admire and respect the Octavia I know, she usually isn't like this."
"The Octavia you know is different when it comes to him out of all people."
"Because he cheated on you?"
"Because he hurt me, Caleb." I ripped my hands away from his own, not looking at the look on his face. I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't. My hands went up to my head and I sighed in exhaustion. "He hurt me, and I never knew how to deal with it. How to deal with someone especially him, hurting me, literally loving someone else like I was nothing. Like what we had was nothing?"
I sat down on the chair closing my eyes as if I could find a way to regain my composure but that wasn't going to happen. My one skill I excelled in decided to fail me. My knee was bouncing up and down anxiously as my heart was still beating fast from emotion. I heard Caleb move towards me. Opening my eyes, I spotted him squatting in front of me, his hand on my knees. "I'm sorry," I told him for my outburst.
"It's fine," He moved his hand up and down my legs as if he was providing warmth, but his movements provided comfort.
"I don't know what'd I'd say if I saw him again," I told him.
"I suggested that you two talk so that you could plan out what to say. Find out what he wants to talk about. At least if you meet up, it's not unexpected. You're very good at improv but this? This is something you need to think about, you know?"
It wouldn't be unexpected. It wouldn't be some attack of the universe putting Keith in front of me suddenly and forcing me to face him. I could do it on my own will.
I nodded, reaching for my phone. Caleb's eyes widened at my movement. "Oh, shit, you're doing it?"
"Caleb-"
"I'm sorry," He said, bewildered. "I just didn't think you'd follow my words. I'd thought you'd take a moment or something but-"
"Caleb." My thumb was hovering over the number now.
"I'll shut up and let you make the call." He gave me an encouraging smile, shifting so that he was kneeling now in front of me, his hands on my knees on my thighs as he watched me. I hovered thumb over Keith's number about it press it when I glanced up at Caleb.
Caleb who lost the girl that he loved all those years ago. Caleb who had a good heart and deserved someone to love him as much as he had loved Bethany. If he had one more conversation with Bethany, he'd talk to her.
Unlike Bethany, Keith wasn't gone, he was still here. I could officially move past that chapter of my life if I faced him. And live without that slight anxiety of seeing him again. I wanted to live past that.
I took a deep breath, my jaw clenched. I pressed his number and put the call it on speaker so we could hear it ring out. Caleb's eyes stayed on me as my knee started to shake again but his movements again calmed me down as I heard the phone ring once, twice then-
"Octavia."
Oh, fuck me.
I kept my eyes on Caleb. I haven't heard him speak since that day and I could feel my heart racing the moment he said my name. The sudden flare of anger goes through me. I wasn't about to sound pitiful answering to Keith. I collected myself, looking down at his number. "Hi." I expected my voice to come out shaky to hear his deep voice, but it came out strong and I felt the surge of confidence go through me.
"You picked up."
"You've been calling. It was either you keep calling or I call you back." I deadpanned and Caleb looked impressed at the cool tone in my voice.
Keith noticed it. He paused before a deep exhale came through on the other side. The same sigh he would give when he knew I was upset. "Oct-"
"What do you want?" I cut him off, hoping he would get to the point of his constant calling.
"Are you in America?"
"No." I quipped.
He sounded confused. "Where are you?"
"Italy. Milan." I explained.
"Italy? The movie, right?"
"Yeah," But I wasn't here to talk about the movie, and he wasn't either. "Listen, Keith-"
"Can we talk?" He interrupted, finally getting to the point. Kind of. "I've been trying to get ahold of you for weeks and I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you."
I narrowed my eyes at my phone. About what? He had ruined his chances of even breathing in the same air as me when he lost all respect, I had for him. But I looked at Caleb, who, like Keith was eagerly waiting for my response. If I ever had to move on, as Caleb had said, I needed some sense of closure. I wanted to stop feeling like my heart was going to jump out of my chest whenever it came to Keith.
"Can it be face to face? I need to talk to you too."
"Face to-" He stopped, sounding surprised but whatever he had to tell me must be important because he agreed. "Yeah, yeah, sure whatever you want," he said in a soft tone. "I have a few things here, but I'll make my way to Italy."
I didn't even bother arguing with him coming to Italy instead of me heading back to America just to see him. Nah, money has been saved for a five-minute conversation I knew we were bound to have. At least my money was. "Okay. I'll text you the address."
"Alright," He said and there was a moment of silence before he said. "Oct, it's good to hear your voice."
I suppressed the attitude in me waiting to curse him out when I glanced at Caleb. Caleb who was making a face at Keith's words that had me hold in my laughter. Caleb glanced at me with a smile when he realized why I was smiling, pointing his chin at the phone.
"I'll see you soon." Before Keith could say another thing, I hung up, putting my phone on the table. I lightly pushed Caleb, amused. "Can you not make that face?"
"It's good to hear your voice. Oh, fuck off." Caleb chuckled.
I let out a soft laugh, slouching into my chair when I realized I did have to face Keith in a couple of days, but I could figure out what I would say then. At least I'd know now, as Caleb said, that I'd be expecting him.
Fingers tilted my head up, willing me to look at Caleb. "You did good, Okonji."
"Thank you, Romero." He leaned forward, his lips lightly pressed against my head before he pulled away like it was nothing.
As he took his hands off me, I sat stunned as he settled in the seat next to me, looking down at the puzzle. He glanced over to me and with a soft smile, he nodded towards the puzzle. For the rest of that night, we sat there in silence- comfortable silence as if we didn't just expose a part of our lives to one another and we finished that puzzle until dawn broke through the dark sky.