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SONG FOR THE CHAPTER
❝ Featherstone ❞ by The Paper Kites
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I'm nearly paralyzed with shock when we are greeted by the cheerful smile of none other than Billy Barnes. At the mere sight of my former foster sibling, I find myself completely startled by the strange coincidence. He stands before us, with brown eyes that glimmer in the sunlight like new pennies. Although he seems surprised to see me, he surely isn't as gobsmacked as I am.
I haven't seen him in years. The last I remember of Billy was when he was the little boy who pulled the heads off my Barbie dolls. Now he's approximately 6 feet tall and has the build of a college football player. I can hardly recognize him. It doesn't take me long to realize that I'm gawking at him like those perverts who stare at nude paintings in the museum.
Then suddenly, I glance over at Casper who is anticipating my response to Billy. The tension between us thickens and my anxiety about the situation intensifies. If I say the wrong thing, it will only add fuel to the fire. I can't have Casper find out how I met Billy. I've been trying to keep my experience in the foster care system a deeply buried secret.
Therefore, my mission is simple: I must avoid any possible confrontation between us and deceive Casper somehow. After all, the saying is painfully true... Ignorance is bliss.
Billy tilts his head to the side and chuckles at me, "Cat caught your tongue?"
Despite the fact that I devised my cunning scheme, I'm rendered speechless. It's like the words have been caught in my throat and thus, I'm lacking the ability to utter a single sentence. I'm starting to realize that this has become a rather awkward habit of mine. I stare at Billy with wide eyes, unable to respond. I guess I have to organize a new game plan. Instead of manipulation, I'll opt for a different strategy: play dumb like my life depends on it.
"What?" I manage to ask him.
Billy shakes his head in disbelief, "How have you been, Chloe?"
Then before I have the opportunity to say something, Casper interrupts. With a confused and skeptical expression, he arches his eyebrow, "Wait, do you know each other?"
"No, of course not," I reply almost instantly while lying through my teeth. My panicked answer was too abrupt to seem genuine, "Why would you think that?"
"Well, he did just say your name," he mentions, calling my bluff.
"I've never met him before," I pretend, although I'm not sure I'm very convincing.
Billy seems completely disoriented, "Chloe, what are you talking ab-"
"Hey, can I talk to you real quick?" I request immediately.
Before he can object, I quickly grab ahold of his arm and drag him away to a private area within the restaurant. Once we're out of Casper's vicinity, I pull Billy into the corner and begin to explain the risky situation, "You shouldn't be here," I declare adamantly.
"It's nice to see you too," he replies with sarcasm.
"I don't want Casper to know that you were my foster sibling. I've tried this hard to keep it a secret and I'll be damned if you're the one to tell him," I confess, my voice trembling with worry.
"Why would you want to keep it a secret?" he asks me, "It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"Easy for you to say!" I exclaim bitterly, "You weren't the social pariah of your entire high school, ostracized for being the weird foster kid with anxiety and awkward tendencies. I've always been the outcast because of who I am and what I've been through. My entire life I've been bullied and tormented - you would know better than anyone," my voice slowly becomes quiet and my breathing turns shallow. I cast my eyes down to the ground and suppress the urge to cry, "So don't tell me I have nothing to be ashamed of... I've always been told otherwise."
Billy seems startled by my abrupt confession. However, his expression gradually melts into soft compassion - his eyes glisten with sympathy. He offers me a gentle smile in return for my honesty. Then during these quiet moments, he stares at me tenderly like he's finally found familiarity in my company and there is nothing more important than comforting me. Although the silence is heavy, it's meaningful.
After a few delicate seconds, he speaks to me with a voice that's smooth and warm, "You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself."
I exhale deeply and hesitantly lock eyes with him, "Will you just promise not to say anything about us to Casper?" I beg him earnestly, "Please?"
He waits for a moment and then nods, "I promise..."
I sigh once again, this time much deeper, "Thank you..."
I look up at him and realize just how adorable Billy is. With his cute button nose and winsome little smirk, it's very clear to me that he's just so utterly precious. Billy seems charmed by the situation. The intimate moment incites him to punch me in the shoulder playfully like the way he used to when we were kids, "I've missed you, Dork."
I punch him back and chuckle under my breath, "I've missed you too, Doofus."
He folds his arms over his chest, "So what's the plan?"
"I want you to pretend like we don't know each other," I propose clearly, "When in doubt, be stupid, naive or silent. Bonus points if you manage to convince him of something with an exaggerated story that's a complete fabrication. If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em."
"Sounds good to me," he agrees.
"Just follow my lead," I advise him with a smirk.
After devising our new course of action, we both walk outside and return to the balcony. However, we are suddenly welcomed by some rather unexpected company. Two unfamiliar people are sitting down at the table with Casper. Once they caught a glimpse of us, they smile and wave in our direction. I furrow my eyebrows and lean over towards Billy, "Do you know them?" I ask dubiously.
"Yeah, those are my friends," he reveals, "They came with me to the diner."
I slap his arm briskly, "Why didn't you say something?" I snap at him, trying my best to keep my tone of voice mumbled so the others won't hear us, "Don't you think that might have been important to mention beforehand? Now the plan will be even more difficult to execute!"
"Everything will be fine," he assures me, "Just play it cool."
"Play it cool? This is me we're talking about," I retort while rolling my eyes. I readjust my posture and attempt to follow his advice.
When we approach the table, Casper is the first to speak, "Did you both have a nice conversation?" he questions with a suspicious expression.
"I guess you could say that," I answer vaguely.
He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat. I can tell he's examining the situation but doesn't know what to think of it. Casper tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes me, "Then would you mind telling me what's going on?"
"It was just a misunderstanding," I explain briefly.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that last year we once had a few mutual friends but we never had the opportunity to meet," Billy lies effortlessly, earning himself some bonus points, "Actually, come to think of it, I don't remember who mentioned Chloe to me, but they said awfully nice things about her. It's a shame we never met until now."
To sell the act and officially seal the deal, I reach over and shake his hand, "Thank you, um... What was your name again?"
"Billy," he says, "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself sooner."
"Nice to meet you, Billy."
"Likewise, Chloe."
I peek at Casper through the corner of my eye who seems to be in utter disbelief. His mouth hangs open slightly and he's wearing this incredibly dumbfounded expression. I think that his brain just overheated and he can't fully process this information. I glance at the other people who are sitting at the table, both of which are uncertain about the situation as well. Neither of them knows how to enter the conversation smoothly.
After the awkward moment lingers, Billy decides to bite the bullet and introduce his friends, "Chloe, I would like you to meet the bane of my existence - also known as my troublemaking best friend, Tyler West," he pauses dramatically for effect, "You also might know him as that one kid who glued the principle of Timber Creek High School to the toilet in his office."
"In my defense, he called the local police station and reported me for smoking weed on campus, so he kind of asked for it," he mentions casually, shrugging his shoulders, "But revenge is a dish best served cold, my fellow comrades. We must rebel from authority if we want a revolution! We must show no mercy..." he snickers to himself, "Rumor has it that Principle Jenkins can't go to the bathroom without getting flashbacks of my heinous crime," then he slumps down in his seat and smirks mischievously, "I'm sure that he learned his lesson."
"Thank you, Goober, for that not-so-motivational speech," Billy remarks sarcastically.
After the exchange of amusing pleasantries, I look at Tyler with a cursory glance. He appears to be your average guy, with short, mocha brown hair and eyes to match. His demeanor is whimsical like an innocent child yet nonchalant like those bus drivers that aren't concerned with the rambunctious passengers whatsoever. I stare blankly at him and watch as he makes a flippant remark to his friends.
The person sitting next to Tyler finally speaks, "That was quite the introduction, Billy... I don't know how I could possibly compare to such an impressive performance."
Billy grins widely and prepares his elaborate response, "You want a performance? I'll give you a performance," he puffs out his chest and then speaks with a boisterous voice, "Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to our sensational presentation! What you are about to witness is history in the making! I would like to introduce the beautiful, the magnificent, the extraordinary... Drumroll, please... Valerie Fox!"
"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week," she says with a playful smile.
I carefully attempt to stare at her without being noticed. Valerie looks like one of those girls who have several cute boys at her disposal, various party invitations for this weekend and a few thousand Instagram followers. I'm fascinated by her existence - she reminds me of a Disney princess. With her long, brunette hair and flawless makeup application, I wouldn't be surprised if she was voted prom queen.
Her style regarding both fashion and behavior is incredibly feminine. Unlike Valerie, becoming a Victoria's Secret Model isn't a possibility for me. I'm baffled by the fact her chromosomes have been paired so nicely. I've never seen such a perfect smile; Valerie has adorable dimples and straight teeth like her dentist is the Einstien of the entire orthodontic career. It should be illegal for someone to be this beautiful.
I snap back into reality and somehow escape the hypnotic state induced by Valerie's sparkling, chocolate brown eyes. I glance at Casper and attempt to change the subject, "So wait, all of you attend the same high school?"
"Yeah," he answers, "Most of us have a few classes together. I have History with Billy, although we don't talk much during class considering that he's typically occupied with discussing football jargon with his teammates," he laughs quietly, "Unfortunately, I have Algebra with Tyler... I think it's safe to assume it wasn't a coincidence that we sit next together in class and last semester we both got an A-plus on our last exam despite the fact Tyler didn't study."
"It's not my fault that nothing we learned from our homework assignments throughout the semester was on the test," he debates, "Besides, I almost got caught cheating. I had to squint really hard and slowly dissect your words to read your answers - they look like Egyptian Hieroglyphics."
I relate to his joke and chuckle internally at the correlation between Casper's handwriting and Pamela's notes. With humorous intention, Casper grabs the straw from his empty glass and hurls a spitball across the table. Tyler ducks quickly and then roars with laughter.
"What about me?" Valerie interrupts eagerly, looking at Casper and crossing her arms to display her sudden impatience. While staring at him, she anticipates his response.
"Huh?" he says without much thought.
Although she seems offended, Valerie reluctantly forms a sweet smile to alleviate any tension between them, "Don't tell me you forgot that we had English together our Sophomore year," she mentions. However, despite the explanation, Casper still seems confused. Valerie sighs and desperately attempts to refresh his memory, "You let me borrow your notes once because I was absent the day we studied Shakespeare..." she rolls her eyes, "Ring a bell?"
"Oh, yeah," he agrees hesitantly, "Must have... Slipped my mind."
"That was very sweet of you to help me," Valerie simpers at him and giggles softly. With mannerisms that are dainty and coy, she twirls a strand of hair around her finger and bats her long eyelashes at him, "I might have to return the favor one day..."
"It's cool," he replies casually, "It's not that big of a deal."
"I have to repay you somehow," she insists.
Once the realization sinks in, I take a moment to process her strange behavior. I could be wrong, but I think Valerie is flirting with Casper. If I'm not, then why hasn't anyone else noticed? More importantly, why isn't Casper affected by her charms? Casper seems completely uninterested in Valerie, despite how beautiful she is. I'm surprised that he's ignored her romantic advances.
I narrow my eyes at Valerie and brood over the problem. I can smell her desperation from here; she reeks of unrequited love. However, I quickly intervene with my own thoughts.
Why am I feeling so hostile towards Valerie? Could it be possible that I'm... Jealous? No, it can't be... This isn't a competition vying for Casper's attention. I'm being stupid.
I have never met Valerie before now; she poses no threat to me. I've never been one of those girls who hate on other girls just because they are prettier than me. If anything, I applaud her for applying her eyeliner so perfectly. But that begs the question: why do I envy her smile?
Perhaps because it's unfamiliar. Unlike Valerie, not only are my teeth crooked, but I have never genuinely smiled at Casper. I'm not affectionate with him whatsoever. Valerie openly expresses her feelings for him. Although it may not be reciprocated, she isn't afraid of intimacy. I'm starting to realize she is capable of giving him the one thing that I can't.
Thankfully, I'm rescued from my anxiety when Billy starts talking, "Um, Valerie? I'm not sure if you remember, but I was also in your English class during our Sophmore year."
Once he's caught her attention, Valerie's bedroom eyes that were once glued to Casper divert towards Billy, "Really? Oh, I must have forgotten."
"I offered to tutor you," he mentions before chuckling to himself uncomfortably.
Wait a minute... I think to myself, Does Billy have a crush on Valerie?
With my jaw dropped to the floor, I'm baffled by the pure irony of the situation. They seem oblivious! Valerie likes Casper, but he's uninterested. Billy likes Valerie, but she's uninterested. How could this love triangle possibly be more ridiculous? It's almost amusing how none of them seem to notice the absurdity here. Well, this certainly just got interesting.
Valerie ignores Billy and continues flirting with Casper, "What are you doing later?" she suddenly asks him, getting right to the point. She isn't being very subtle this time.
Casper looks at me timidly, realizing that there was still some tension between us from our previous conversation, "Um... I'm not sure," he answers.
"We're going to the movies tonight," she announces, "You should come!"
"Okay," he agrees. With an annoyed expression, Casper tilts his head to the side and arches an eyebrow to express his displeasure, "But aren't you going to invite Chloe?"
Valerie seems startled by his question. She glances at me and laughs nervously, trying to make her response less awkward, "Oh! Well, of course! Chloe, you can come too if you want," she mentions begrudgingly.
"Gee, thanks," I reply without enthusiasm, considering that it sounded as if she was giving me her permission to join the group and not a personal request.
Much to my chagrin, the one opportunity I have to socialize is regarding a reluctant invitation. But despite the fact I wasn't initially welcomed to hang out with them, I'm still surprised that I'm socializing with people regardless. I thought my plans for tonight would consist of my computer, a few snacks, and another Netflix movie marathon in my bedroom all by myself. However, this would be the first time in what seems like forever that I would actually interact with others.
I'm excited but also nervous - kind of like the feeling you get inside of your stomach when you're climbing up a tall rollercoaster and expecting the drop. I'm not sure what will become of the situation. My social anxiety torments me, wanting to sabotage my only attempt at making new friends. However, I suppress that nauseating feeling and continue listening to the conversation.
Casper turns to Billy, "What movie are you going to see?"
"It's a new horror movie that was just released," he says, "It's called-"
"Zombie Island!" Tyler interrupts eagerly, "We saw the trailer and it looks fucking awesome! Every scene there's somebody getting their head chopped off! There's tons of blood and guts everywhere! There was this one zombie that was eating someone's brain and then another dude came from behind and smashed his head open with a sledgehammer! It's epic!"
"Sounds like a nice, wholesome movie for the whole family," I remark sarcastically.
"Tyler gets really excited about horror movies," Billy states.
When Casper's silence becomes noticeable, everyone looks in his direction. There seems to be fear in his wide, green eyes. He stares blankly into the distance, his posture rigid as a statue. It appears as if he's just seen a ghost.
Billy cocks his head to the side curiously, "What's wrong, Casper?"
He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably, "Um... I'm not sure I want to see this movie."
Suddenly, the truth dawns upon me. Casper is scared of spiders, clowns, finding strange hair in his food, the bubonic plague, expired milk, people with unnecessarily long fingernails... and zombies! He's scared of zombies! That's why he doesn't want to see the movie.
Billy furrows his brows, "Why not?"
"I don't know..." he begins hesitantly, "I mean, do you think there will be like, umm... a lot... of zombies throughout the movie?"
Tyler snorts through his nose mockingly, "I think it's safe to assume the movie Zombie Island will have a lot of zombies in them."
Casper seems embarrassed and that bothers me very much. I don't want him to feel guilty about his fears. He shouldn't have to admit to them why he doesn't want to see the movie. There's nothing wrong with being scared sometimes. If there's anything I can do to help, I might as well say something in his defense. I take a deep breath and roll my eyes.
"Zombies are lame anyways," I declare strongly with my arms crossed, "Who wants to watch a bunch of dead people eating brains? Since when did that become entertaining? I'm yawning just thinking about it. Besides, I saw the reviews and most people said the scary scenes were almost laughable. We should just get tickets to see something else. That new action movie called Fist of Punishment didn't look... that bad..."
"Fist of Punishment?" Tyler repeats slowly with his eyebrow arched and a skeptical tone of voice, "That sounds like a terrible, kinky porno that sadistic perverts would watch."
"That's a very bizarre analogy, Goober," says Billy, "I'm concerned that you found the correlation between those titles."
"My point is..." he continues, "That we're going to see Zombie Island whether you like it or not! I don't know about you, but I'm not only prepared but excited to see some grenades blowing people into smithereens! I think that Casper is just scared of zombies."
"No I'm not!" he objects.
"Great! Problem solved," he enthuses, "Now that's settled, you shouldn't have a problem coming with us. Who's buying the popcorn?"
"Last time I bought the popcorn, you said that you would pay me back," Billy interjects snidely with his arms folded over his chest.
"I told you that I'm in a rather complicated financial situation," he justifies on his own behalf.
"Dude, you just bought a new skateboard from Zumiez last week," he debates, "And I don't think spending all your money on weed and condoms is considered a complicated financial situation."
"I plead the fifth," Tyler replies casually. He looks over at Casper and pats him on the back to show encouragement, "Anyways, thanks for taking one for the team."
I notice when Valerie leans over towards Casper and whispers in his ear, "Don't worry... If you get scared you can hold my hand," she teases.
I swear that I almost saw Billy's eye twitch with irritation at the mere sight of them. I have a feeling that if even the slightest thing goes wrong tonight, the circumstances will escalate very quickly. To defuse the tense moment with humor, I decide to lightly punch Billy in the shoulder.
"An hour is only 600 Vines long... I think you can make it through the movie," I joke with him, "Remember that slow and steady wins the race, Doofus."
"Whatever, Dork," he retorts, punching me back.
"Since when did you guys become such good friends?" Casper interjects, "You've known each other less than a few hours and you already have nicknames?"
Shit, I think to myself, He's onto us... Red alert! Send in backup! The eagle has landed, I repeat, the eagle has landed. The enemy is close! Lying squad, roll out!
"I give everybody nicknames," I lie to his face, then becoming tinged with guilt.
"I don't have a nickname..." he argues, seeming offended.
"Yeah, me either," Tyler adds, chiming into the conversation and making it more difficult to respond than it was, to begin with.
"Sure you do," I assure them, "Casper, I've always called you Winnie The Pooh."
"What about me?" Tyler questions.
"Oh! Umm... I'll call you..." I frantically look around me to find something that gives me an idea for a possible nickname, "Captain... Napkin."
Everyone becomes silent. The entire group of people is speechless, most likely wondering how I drink water without drowning myself. Tyler stares at me in disbelief and repeats what I just said, "Captain Napkin?" he reiterates, hoping that I realize how stupid that sounds.
"Yeah, because... you're like a superhero that... always cleans up the mess! Everyone says you're a good friend that gives even better advice!"
Tyler smirks smugly, looking pleased with himself, "You know, one time there was this kid in my gym class named Adam Zimmerman who was upset about something, so I just smiled and told him to follow his dreams," he mentions proudly.
"Adam Zimmerman had insomnia because he was having PTSD induced nightmares about falling off tall buildings," Billy explains with concern.
"Oh..."
Casper changes the subject and speaks the first thing on his mind. Clearly, something is bothering him, "Captain Napkin?" he says skeptically, "Nobody thinks that's strange?"
"You have to admit, it has a ring to it," Billy reasons with him.
"But-"
"Hey! C'mon guys!" Valerie interrupts after checking the time on her phone, "The movie starts at 6 and we'll miss the previews if we don't make it in time!"
Billy glances at me, "Do you need a ride? I'll drive."
"No thanks, it's fine... Casper and I rode our bikes here, anyways," I answer plainly.
"I have a 2015 Toyota Tundra, which has a lot of cargo space," he counters with a smile, "You guys can put them in the back."
"I call shotgun!" Tyler shouts eagerly, jumping out of his chair and sprinting towards the exit of the diner. He knocks over a few things during his dramatic departure.
"Well, I call dibs on whichever seat is next to Casper," Valerie announces.
Casper, Billy, and I roll our eyes simultaneously. After leaving the money on the table and a considerable tip behind for Fiona, we begin to leave the diner. Billy says something to Valerie that sparks conversation and the two of them walk away, rambling about movie tickets. I chuckle quietly and cheer him on in my mind, hoping that he can woo her with his charming smile. Besides, how can someone not find Billy just absolutely adorable?
However, the realization sinks in that I'm alone with Casper now. I stroll beside him awkwardly, unable to make eye contact. Is it too soon to say something? We aren't exactly on good terms - at least, I don't think we are. He doesn't seem angry with me, but maybe he's just pretending for my sake. I swallow a hard lump in my throat and strive to remain calm. With nervous hesitance, I peek at him through the corner of my eye; why is he so quiet? I think awkward silence is worse than an awkward conversation. Don't make this weird, Chloe.
"So..." I begin carefully, "Um... Nice weather we're having."
Really? Is that the best I could do? I think to myself with embarrassment, If this moment was a bad sitcom on television, I can already hear the record scratch and then chirping crickets as the sound effects. I cringe at myself internally and hope that Casper has a decent response.
"Hm? Oh, yeah..." he says absentmindedly, he seems distracted. I'm not sure why Casper is unusually preoccupied right now. I can't tell if he's upset or not. Hopefully, he's not thinking about something bad.
"Are you nervous about the movie?" I ask him, trying to make small talk.
"Kind of," he answers, "But like you said, zombies eat brains... So I'm safe."
"Are you sure that you still want to go?"
"It's cool, I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway," he mentions sarcastically.
His smile falters and then fades away. It's almost as if he doesn't have the energy to pretend to be happy anymore. Without any further conversation, he pauses and takes a deep breath. Then he continues walking forward and ignores me completely.
I feel distant from Casper. It's very strange when he's not being the cheerful person that he always is. I miss that signature smile. It's not like he's being rude, I think he's just confused - we both are. Neither of us knows what to say. I'm afraid to address the situation and potentially make it worse. Perhaps I should just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. Besides, I just want to enjoy going to the movies.
This situation is very strange to me. I'm not sure how to react. I don't think Casper and I have quite found a resolution to our conversation yet. I certainly am still seeking closure. Then as if things couldn't get any worse, Billy startles me with his surprise entrance. Now both of us will have to sustain this performance and keep our history a secret for the entire night. Last but certainly not least, I have to endure the cringe-worthy spectacle that Valerie has made of herself during the not-so-subtle, desperate pursuit of Casper.
Today certainly can't become any more awkward, I think to myself.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
GUESS WHAT? I'M BACK!!! :D
Long time no... read? Is that what how I should say that phrase? Lol, anyways... I'm so happy to have finally published a new chapter! After my 3 month hiatus, I eventually found some time within my busy schedule to write. Sometimes I feel like the odds are against me and I haven't had time to pursue my dreams. But I'm staying optimistic and remaining patient because all good things come with time!
On another note, I've missed you guys so much! To the very few people reading this right now, I want you to know that I love and appreciate you with all my heart <3
I've missed all the characters from BBAAW as well... I get separation anxiety when I'm away from them for too long, haha! Hopefully, they don't feel neglected.
It's insane how far we've come and we're only on chapter 9! Chloe and Casper have experienced so much together already and I can't wait for them to find happiness. There are many more crazy chapters to be written and I'm excited for them all!
So much has happened within this book, including the interaction with my lovely readers! Previously, I reached 1k after publishing the longest chapter I've ever written for BBAAW! What's even more special is that when I reached that goal, it was around the time that I published 08 | Afternoon Waffles and that's one of the most pivotal chapters in this entire book. The entire situation was so perfect, it must have been fate!
Currently, I have 1.1k reads on BBAAW. I'm so thankful that my readers have continued to support this story and I'm reaching more of my audience! This was a long time in the making, but I feel as if everything is falling into place.
Thank you so much for being on this journey with me! I appreciate every single one of you!
Until next time...
Yours,
Paris
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《 Published April 3rd, 2019 》
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