I stared up at my ceiling and frowned. How many years has it been now 100... 200... it's been so long I lost track. I say that but I'll never forget that day...
I'll never forget a lot of things.
"Hey, Kiddo?" I looked over at Patton as he was getting his coat on. "I'm gonna head out, ok?"
"Pat, I'm fine. Really, you don't have to worry about me." His face darkened and he shook his head.
"I'll always worry about my son." I smiled a little, making Patton light up like a Christmas tree. " I shouldn't be too long. If you're hungry there's some chicken in the fridge. And if you go out, remember to wear your coat. I don't want you getting weird looks again because it's winter and you won't freeze in a tank top."
"Ok, Ok... I got it, Pat." He smiled and headed for the door, before turning around and giving me a hug.
"I love my dark strange son."
"I know, Pat. I love you too." I watched as the door shut behind him and I instantly grew cold. I hated the silence. I hated the cold. I hated a lot.
The things I've seen... I'm surprised I haven't just said fuck it... no, stop. You promised Patton, and you told him the truth. Your life is doing so much better. It's the past that keeps dragging me down...
Dragon... me down. Ha... ha ha... forget it.
The silence just kept creeping in and I groaned. I can't ever be alone. The world just won't shut up. How is it that silence can be the loudest thing? It's even louder than... than...
Than the screams... Mine and theirs.
I shook myself from my thoughts and got up, heading for the shower. This is pointless. I turned the cold water on and I got myself undressed. I stood there listening to the sound of the water hitting the porcelain tub and felt as the tears started to fall.
Screams... blood... rain... fire...
I frowned, eyes closed, and got in the tub. The cold water hissed as it hit my body and I shook at the sound. I laid back, letting the water hit me, and rested my arm over my eyes, lost in thought. All this time... all these years and I still can't get those faces from my mind. Those screams... those kids... those...
"Mister, please help. My mother, she... she won't get up." I opened my eyes to see this child running over to me. I was back in the Great Forest... back in the hell, I created. I was the kid get closer and I felt as a wicked smile formed on my lips. No, please don't do this. STOP!
My sword struck the kid right in his shoulder. I watched as his body dropped and my tilted watching with an amused grin. Stop this, please. This isn't right. This isn't you!
"E̵e̶n̸y̶ ̸m̸e̵a̴n̵i̷e̶ ̸m̷i̴n̵e̷y̸ ̷m̵o̵.̴.̸.̶ ̴c̴a̸t̷c̷h̵ ̷a̸.̶.̵.̷ ̴e̴l̶f̵?̷ ̴y̵e̴a̷h̷ ̶a̸n̶d̷ ̶e̸l̴f̵ ̷b̵y̸ ̵t̷h̸e̶ ̶t̵o̵e̴.̵" The sick distortion in my voice made everything hurt. I watched helplessly as my body moved on its own killing so many... so many. "F̴a̸t̵h̶e̶r̶'̴l̶l̵ ̷b̶e̸ ̵p̵r̶o̶u̶d̸!̸"
FATHER DESERVES TO DIE!
"NOW!" I felt the ropes tie around me and heard the inhuman howl that forced itself from my lips. Everything blurred as I looked at everything around me, rageful for being trapped. "ENOUGH OF THIS!"
"He's not even human anymore."
"Pitiful creature..."
"Have no pity. Monsterous beings like him deserve none."
"L̴E̴T̶ ̷M̶E̵ ̶G̸O̴!̸ ̴ F̷̦̓͗̾̂Ä̸̹́̃T̴̺͍͎̅H̸̖͐̽̈́͠Ė̴̢̺̙̩̔̈́R̸͎̆͗̕ͅ! Ą̵̕N̵̮͌Y̷̟͊Ọ̷̈́N̵̨̾Ě̸ ͕. L̸E̷T̴ ̸M̷E̴ ̵G̴O̴!̶" I strained against the ropes, feeling them cut into me as the tears began to fall. "P̷̨̭͝ľ̶͚e̵͇̓a̶̬̾̓ş̸̧̚é̸̞̪̿.̴̦̑.̷͕̅.̸͖̅̔ ̵̱͠I̶̲̺̎'̶͖̭̈́̍m̵̮̝̆͝ ̸̳͎̊s̷̙̲͠o̶͇̯͑ȑ̷̖̆͜r̵͉͋̏y̵̝͗ͅ.̵̬̍̈́.̸̖͍̚.̶̻͓̚ ̷̨̇͝I̶̺̿͘'̴̱͒͠m̸̦̈́ ̴̖̫͑͘ś̵̖͝o̷̻͌r̵̠͠r̷̦̘̐ẙ̴̟̯.̵̢͙͌.̵̲̈́.̴̖̏̓ ̵̗̰̐͑s̷̡̻̏̌ỏ̴̼͉̓m̶̤̂ȅ̴̹̪o̶̗͠n̴̹̋͝e̶̫̳͘ ̴̟͛l̴̜̳̑̈́e̶̩̋t̴̜̻̿ ̷͚̹̄̇m̴̞͚̽̓ȩ̵͓̈́͌ ̵̹̘́g̵̬̰̓o̸̪̅.̵͉̎̽.̴͎́̕͜.̷̰̰͘ ̶̧̩͛̒s̷o̵m̸e̶o̶n̷e̷.̶.̵.̴ ̶p̷l̸e̸a̸s̵e̴ ̶I̸ ̷c̸a̶n̸'̶t̷.̵.̴.̶ ̵I can't... I can't."
"Pathetic. Even after everything he's done he gravels for mercy."
"Monster."
"Evil."
"Pathetic."
"S̶͉͒͆Ḥ̷̉U̵͓̝̎͋T̴̬͠ ̷̘̹͋U̷̬̐͠P̶̦̥̋!̸̫̿" I yelled gripping my hear, nearly pulling it out. I opened my eyes and cried. The shower hissed as I turned it off and got out. I can't be alone. I can't be left to my thoughts to my memories.
I got myself dressed and grabbed my coat out of the closet, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the stifling heat that came from wearing it. I sighed and took a deep breath. Some time in town would do me some good.