Rose's POV:
"Hey babe, are you still with Ava?" Shawn asks right after I picked up his call. "Yeah, I am. Why?"
„My mom was wondering if we want to come over for dinner later. Is that okey with you?"
"Sure. We will be finished soon anyways." I reply, fumbling with the end of my shirt. "Great. Did you find something you like?"
„Oh uh... actually we were just looking for a dress for Ava. So I didn't really pay attention." I answer, earning a quick glare from her before she focuses back on the road. I know, I know... I shouldn't lie to him but I will tell him as soon as I know for sure wether I am pregnant or not. I swear...
„Also my dresser is about to explode from all the stuff you got me on tour." I chuckle, hoping to overplay the nervousness lacing in my voice as we near a white building. "I just love to give you presents." Shawn responds, laughing lightly and I shake my head.
„And that's so sweet but you buy me way too much." I state, realizing that he cannot see it. "Too bad that you won't be able to change my mind, princess. Oh and... you won't have space problems with your clothes anymore because when you are moving in tomorrow, the new walk-in wardrobe will be all yours."
„Are you serious right now? Oh my... How is that even possible?"
„I had an extra room, which I didn't need and that is yours now. I expected more enthusiasm, to be honest." He says and I could literally picture him with this adorable pout on his handsome face. "Shawn, I am excited about it. I really am. Wow I never thought about something like that. Thank you, baby." I chuckle, torn between being happy about it and also mad because he spent his money on me again... but oh well, who doesn't want a walk-in wardrobe?
„Better." Shawn replies, jokingly. "Alright, we are going into two or three more shops. See you then." I say as I notice that Ava parked the car."
"Okey, I'll pick you up at yours later." He responds before I hang up, suddenly not being able to concentrate on anything but the big building in front of me anymore.
„Rose, is everything okey?" Ava questions and I just give her an 'are you serious' look.
„No, nothing is okey! I might be pregnant, I don't know how Shawn is going to react and I am terrified. So no it's not okey! „
„Yeah stupid question. Sorry." She mumbles but I just bite my tounge to not let my overwhelmed self take control over my actions and start to snap at her for no reason. I should be thankful that she is here with me.
„Let's go?" Ava asks, placing her hand on top of my arm, causing me to look at her for the first time since we are here. "You think I'm stupid for believing that the one negative test means something, don't you?" I ask, meeting her concerned gaze.
„I..." she starts but cuts herself off by frustratedly running a hand through her hair. "Look, if you want my honest opinion... I don't think there is much of a chance that the negative one is right but... let's just get you checked now, okey?"
„Okey." I sigh loudly, opening the car door.
.............................................................................
My leg bounces up and down restlessly as I stare at a certain spot, on the white tiled floor. The noises around me sounding dull. My fingers shaking lightly.
Little do I know that Ava is right but something in me refuses to accept that. I just don't want to imagine how Shawn would react. Is there a chance that he would be happy about it?
What am I thinking.... it's the worst timing there can be, for a baby. He has to concentrate on his new album and the festivals he is gonna play. There is no time for a child. Also I don't even know if I want.... if I am able to be a mother. I don't think I would be a good mom...
„Hey drink something and take deep breaths, I don't want you to hyperventilate." Ava says, smiling lightly as she hands me a bottle of water. „Thanks." I murmur, grabbing it and taking a little sip. As soon as the liquid runs down my throat, I feel like I have to throw up so I close the bottle again.
Now that I'm here in the waiting room, I finally start to realize what it could mean for me... for us. A little version of me and Shawn is possibly growing inside of me right now. It's so surreal. „Ava?" I quietly ask and she immediately turns her head towards me.
„Yeah?"
„What do I do if I'm actually pregnant?" I question, trying my best not to let my voice crack. My grip around the plastic bottle tightens as I feel this familiar suffocating feeling coming up in me. Not now.
Please not now. Calm down, Rose. I take a deep breath, turning my head towards her aswell. Ava looks at me cluelessly, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth opening once in a while in attempt to say something, only to close again right after.
„I... I don't... Well, the first thing you are going to do is tell Shawn. I don't want to hear any excuses. You have to tell him and then, we will figure something out. You are not alone in this. And who knows? Maybe Shawn is excited about it." Ava replies and I chuckle weakly.
„About being a father with 19? In a situation where he barely has time for friends, family and even his girlfriend? Of course, he will jump around with joy." I mock, ironically.
„But he's on a break right now, Rose-"
„Yeah for one or maybe two months, Ava. The... baby would come when he is drowning in festivals, meetings, interviews and god knows what!" I sigh, burying my face in my hands.
"Ava... I don't think I can do that."
„Don't say that, Rose. Trust me, it will be okey. So you are sure that you are keeping it?" "Uhm... I haven't thought about anything else to be honest. I don't think I could abort it." I reply, biting my nails in anticipation.
„I get that but have you ever considered the consequences for you. A pregnancy is not-"
"Miss Anderson, may I ask you to come and talk about the results?" A middle aged lady that works here as a receptionist asks as she peeks through the half opened door to the doctors room.
„Of course." I answer, not hesitating to stand up and follow her. I could feel the eyes of the other people in the room on me, making me feel like they want to tell me how much of an irresponsible teenager I am. It's like I'm getting paranoid...
To not longer have their eyes burning holes into my body, I quickly close the door behind me. The woman and I walk into another, mostly white decorated room where I can already see Doctor Harrison sitting at his desk in front of a computer.
The receptionist sends me a sympathetic smile before she disappears out of the room again.
"Hello Mrs. Anderson, please take a seat." The doctor says, shaking my hand. I do as told and wait till he turns his attention from the screen onto me. "So...-"
„Please just come straight to the point." I say, wiping my slightly sweaty hand against my jeans. "I just need to know."
„Alright." He responds, searching for some papers. After he found them, he places them in front of me.
Taking a deep breath once again I slowly avert my eyes onto it, reading what is written on it, only to stare onto the results, being way less surprised than I thought I would be.
Running a hand through my hair, I lean back into the chair while closing my eyes tightly.
"Mrs. Anderson, I can already guess that you aren't the happiest about this but I want you to know that being pregnant isn't the end of the world. Even if it seems like that right now.
You also have to keep in mind that you have an option, if you don't want to keep the baby. It's not to late for abortion yet. You know that right?" Doctor Harrison questions, causing me to open my watery eyes again.
I simply nod. Reading through the few lines over and over again. Two and a half months. I have a two and a half months old human in me. "But I also don't want you to make a quick decision. Think about it for a while. I have had many girls with your age who are more than happy that they kept their baby.
Talk with the father, your family or friends. Someone you trust but don't make an overhasty decision. Okey?" He asks but all I'm able to do is nod once again.
I feel so numb and my head starts spinning. I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby just because I was too stupid to be careful at this damn party.
"I know it must be a shock for you but I would like to talk about something else too." He says, making me look up for the first time.
„I hate to say that right now but your current health state can cause serious problems for you and the baby. The medications you take are really strong and have a big impact on your hormones which is absolutely bad for the little human inside of you."
„So does that mean I have to stop taking them? But wouldn't that-"
„Decrease the time your heart is able to work on its own. Yes, I'm afraid that is what it means." The doctor sighs, putting on his glasses to look at some more papers.