I stare back at her, a clump of pancake batter falling onto the floor.
Holy mother of God. She's here. At my front door. Wanting to come inside. Looks like I wasn't getting an email.
Forcing a smile, I step out of the way, "Welcome, Ms. Wainwright. Please, right this way."
My voice carries, the music instantly turning off. She steps into the room, looking around before curling her lip in distaste. The house isn't a mess by any means but it's definitely not as clean as it was for Ms. Sims.
"I'm sorry for the disorganization, school mornings can be a little more fast paced." I offer lightheartedly.
She sniffs the air and I can smell burning pancakes. There's shuffling from the kitchen before the trash can opens up, looks like they're too busy eavesdropping.
Instead of acknowledging what I just said, she eyes me, "And what exactly are you wearing?"
Instinctively, my hands wrap around the sleeves of Ashton's black hoodie. I hid it in my locker Monday and, while I didn't wear it as school, I barely take it off at home.
It isn't the real thing but it's close enough.
Watching my words carefully, I smile. "It was my brothers, he gave it to me once he out grew it. It's quite comfortable."
She hums, writing something down on her clipboard. I show her around the house, my confidence wavering with each flaw she points out along the way. And she finds plenty.
There's a scratch in the wood. This door doesn't properly close. The basement stairs are too narrow, that's a dangerous thing to have with such large people living in the house. There's a draft coming in from the garage magically in the middle of spring.
It gets worse as we continue. Entering the kitchen, I'm relieved to see they've managed to clean up. They're even dressed in different clothing from the laundry room, surely Sage's idea. All four sitting around the table, eating pancakes and drinking juice.
"Hello, Ms. Wainwright, lovely to see you on such a nice morning." Sage offers with a tight smile.
"Care for a drink of water?" Sterling asks, already getting out of his seat.
Her eyes scan the kitchen, not bothering to acknowledge my siblings. "Chemicals should never be in the same vicinity as food." She states, pointing to a bottle of Clorox wipes by the stove before walking towards the stairs.
I follow her, at this point I'm hardly showing her around. She mumbles about how dirty Silver's room is. Mentions how unsafe Sterling's robotics are. I'm given a lecture on how toxic paint fumes can be when she sees the mural in Sage's room and goes on about possible suffocation when she learns Saffron has a canopied bed.
Obviously this is going better than expected.
She stomps up to my room, flinging the door open with a violent force. Her eyes instantly fall on my picture wall, like she already knew it would be there. I wait as she evaluates every frame.
Not that she'll find what she's looking for, I removed the pictures of Ashton two nights ago. It was strange to see my wall missing so many pictures but it's for the best.
Patricia makes the interesting decision to look in my closet, to make sure the entire attic is finished, paying extra attention to my clothes. Not that it matters, none of Ashton's stuff is in here anymore.
Patricia Wainwright is here on a mission and I'm determined to ensure she fails. There's is no trace of Ashton McClain in my house. It's like he never existed.
I'm expecting her to say say something about us passing but instead she turns on her heel and walks back down to the front door. Reaching into her briefcase. she hands me a card. "Your interviews will be today at noon. This is the address. Do not be late."
She opens the door barely giving me time to process everything. "What about school?"
Offering me a wicked smile, she steps outside. "Well, Miss Rhodes, you'll just have to decide what's more important. Getting custody or your education."
And with that she slams my own door in my face.
Standing frozen in shock, my siblings join me. "I think it's safe to say I liked the other nut job of a social worker better." Silver offers, biting into a pancake.
I laugh as we head upstairs to get dressed but it's more his benefit than mine.
*****
Four hours later, we're walking through the front door of an office, Sage's sweaty hand in mine. Getting in the elevator to the third floor I let Saffron push the button, mainly because my own hand shaking. In the mirrored doors I give us one last look over.
Ironically we all chose to wear black, we have no plans to appear happy and upbeat. Saffron pulls at her tights, I feel bad for making her wear them but her knee is skinned. That's the last thing I need for Patrica to see.
My hair is straight and flat against my head, a simple black dress falling right above my knees. If the person who stared back at me during our first evaluation seemed older than I look ancient today.
Makeup can only hide so much and a weeks worth of extra shitty sleep and stress is showing.
The buzzer dings as we reach the floor. I force a smile into my face as I remember what Dave told me on the phone. Smile, think over every word before I speak, and stay calm. We're directed to a row of uncomfortable plastic chairs before a woman with a similar frown to Patricia's appears.
"Follow me." She says monotonously, not even waiting for us to get up before marching back the way she came.
We do, stopping in front of a door. "Saffron Rhodes, this is your room."
Saffron balks as the door is opened for her, tightening the grip she took on my hand the second we started walking.
The woman repeats herself and she still won't move.
"Is there any way that she can stay with someone until it's her turn?" I ask. She won't do well being locked up all by herself.
"No, now I don't have all day." She states, her voice raising a tiny bit.
Saffron flinches at her tone, leaning down, I pry my hand from hers. "Hey, Squirt, I need you to be a big girl, okay?"
Slowly she nods her head, tears pooling in her eyes. "O...Okay."
Anger floods through me, Saffron's seven years old and terrified of being alone. If they claim to be so interested in her well being why is she being subjected to this pain? Carefully I take mom's ring off my finger, pressing it into her hand.
"Mommy will be with you." I whisper, kissing her forehead.
She smiles weakly, her fist tightening around the ring as she walks through the doorway.
The twins hesitate before going into their own rooms, hating the idea of being separated but they listen. Sage strides into his without a second thought, offering the lady an easy smile.
Squaring my shoulders, I take a seat behind the table in my secluded room. The wooden chair is beyond uncomfortable but I don't move. I'm sure they're probably watching me somehow.
And I wait.
Time passes by slowly but eventually the door creaks open, revealing Patricia Wainwright with a new smirk in place, a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Dread pools in my stomach as she takes the seat across from me.
"Tell me, Miss Rhodes, how is your boyfriend handling everything?"
My hand reaches to my neck before landing on my pearls, she tracks the movement.
"I don't have a boyfriend." I offer calmly.
"I should remind you that lying is frowned upon. His name is Ashton McClain, correct?" She chides as if I'm a child.
"Actually, he would be my ex-boyfriend. My sole focus is on my family. Besides he was a minor infatuation at most." I correct her with ease.
She eyes me skeptically, scribbling a few notes down.
"It is strange that your first question would be about my boyfriend, don't you think, Ms. Wainwright?" I ask, tilting my head.
The smirk falters, something tells me I'm going to regret that statement.
"Miss Rhodes, at eighteen do you truly believe you're capable of caring for the numerous issues your family consists of? ADHD, dyslexia, and asthma, all on top of your own anxiety issues."
I squirm, starting with the hard punches. "I've managed these last two years, I don't see why now would be any different. If anything, with the freedom of adulthood, I'll be able to more properly care for my family without limitations."
She doesn't miss a beat. "And what about all the opportunities they've already missed out on?"
Involuntarily I flinch, this is a conversation I've had with myself plenty of times. She smiles at me, clearly knowing she's hit a weak spot. Patricia Wainwright did her own research on us and she certainly doesn't plan on holding back.
"Sage should have colleges knocking down your door with scholarship opportunities and yet, he has nothing yet. Let's not even get started on travel ball or the special program he was invited to be apart of last summer specifically for dyslexic kids."
My shoulders drop in remembrance, John was still in rehab and I couldn't afford to spend a whole summer without him. Plus, Sage didn't want to leave us.
"Sterling has had teachers request that he be moved up two grades, yet you hold him back. You single handedly are keeping him from reaching his full potential as a student." She continues, her voice staying calm and steady.
He is the reason I never allowed it. Moving him up would only cause more isolation, especially since he would be separated from Silver and Sam. Sterling may be smart but he deserves to be a kid. That's what mom and dad would've wanted for him.
She burns a hole through me with triumphant eyes as she continues. "Silver was pulled from the classes offering him extra aid. Another example of you ruining potential. Not to mention he's a walking stick. Are you not feeding him enough, Dear?"
A comeback forms on the end of my tongue but I stop myself. He chose to be taken out of those classes and he's excelled without them.
"Saffron appears to be somewhat normal, if you take out her odd behavior. So shy yet so violent. It's really quite concerning."
Saffron has lost both of her parents during one of her most crucial stages of life, she is stuck between wanting to miss them and having no memories to mourn. If anything, she is thriving for a child in her position.
"Miss Rhodes, this alone proves that you are not good enough to handle these children. What do you have to say for yourself?" She asks, amused by the look of defeat on my face.
"Compared to where we were two years ago, or even a year ago, we are in such a better place. We've improved so much and have begun to truly heal." I offer calmly, trying to say my piece without completely losing it.
She just single handedly ruined any positive thoughts I had about my position these past two years.
She laughs, "You claim that you've begun to heal." It's not a question but I nod my head. "Your therapist seems to disagree. If anything, you've put minimal effort into your attempts to move on."
I bite my lip. "Talking my emotions though can be a little difficult but I've definitely begun to heal."
Setting her clipboard down she eyes me. "No. What you've done is enjoyed a two year fantasy life believing you can be a parent when you're nothing more than a child. You are not what your family needs but might actually be the only thing hurting them as they develop."
I feel my body shrink as she continues. "You claim to be the best thing for them, Miss Rhodes, but I can only see negatives."
My heart rate picks up as she begins to pack up her things. We can't be done now. The sound of her heels clicking on the floor echoes through my mind until she's right next to me.
"You are an unfit guardian, enjoy these next few weeks while you can."
The weight of her words hit me like a bullet but there's only one thought on my mind.
"What will happen to the kids?" My voice is barely a whisper, afraid to accept reality.
"As of right now, they'll go in the system. Your aunt has made it blatantly clear that she wants nothing to do with them. She told us to never knock on her door again. Your godfather could get custody eventually but that would take time and it's a very lengthy process."
My own aunt is willing to ditch our family. She would leave her sisters kids in the hands of foster care before stepping in. What a bitch.
My chest begins to heave as she leans over to my ear, "Although, I'm sure you're very aware of that already."
The scent of fake flowers make my eyes water. This is it. I'm going to lose everything. Patricia Wainwright takes one last triumphant look at me before she goes to leave.
"Tell Bennett I say hello." I say coldly, knowing I'll regret these words later but no longer caring.
She stops in her tracks and a small part of me feels good that I got the last word, even if it amounts to nothing now.
Taking a breath to collect myself as I stand up, ignoring my wobbly legs as I walk back out to the lobby. My siblings are waiting for me, all their faces sad and tear stained. I don't say anything as we go to the elevator, tears threatening to escape.
Not yet, Scarlett, I will not let this break me. It's not until the car doors slam shut that I breathe again.
"What do we do now?" Sage asks, blowing his nose in a napkin.
Checking the clock I realize I'm at another ultimatum. School ends in thirty minutes.
"We're going to go get the school work we missed today then we will go home. I'll call Dave and see what I can do moving forward."
My weekend just got a lot more complicated.
*****
The hallways are empty but I move quickly just in case anyone is still here.
I'm almost out the door when a voice calls my name, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. "Scarlett, can I talk to you?"
If it isn't the one teacher I didn't get work from. Balling my fist, I turn towards Ms. Miller. I don't say anything and she takes it as an invitation to continue.
"I'm sorry about how you found out and I'm also sorry for what you're going through. I understand these next few weeks are going to be very difficult, you didn't need to turn in your project as incomplete. We can work something out." She offers, taking a step towards me.
I laugh, we can work something out. What a joke. "I left it blank because I'm not going to college. You wanted my future and there it is."
Her smile begins to falter. "We'll come back to it once everything blows over."
I take a step towards her, annoyed that she sounds so comfortable telling me what to do. "Just because you're screwing my uncle doesn't mean you get to give me life advice."
She flinches at my words as I walk out the door, my blood boiling. And just when I think I couldn't get any more upset I find the last person I want to see today is leaned up against the wall.
I offer him a brief glance, my heart hurting. He's so close yet so far. "Go away, Ashton."
"I tried calling you today, I was worried when you guys didn't show up." He calls after me.
I know that, I turned my phone off so I wasn't tempted to answer. My feet keep moving, I don't want to face him.
He grabs my arm, pulling me into him. "Sweetheart, talk to me."
I fight the urge to relax into his arms, to cry about the bad news I haven't let myself process yet. "I have nothing to say."
He lets go off me, his face flashing in hurt. I'm already walking away when he speaks again. "You're being so stubborn! Stop running and face your fears!"
I stop instantly, Ashton's never yelled at me before. Ever. I evaluate his face, taking in the anger he's finally acknowledging. His chest heaves up and down rapidly, his fists clenched at his sides.
He's angry.
"What about the past six months? You just expect me to put aside everything I feel for you and watch you suffer! Getting a front row seat to your self destructing spiral isn't something I want to see!" He continues, an odd mixture of pain and fury stuck on his face that I've never seen before.
Good, him being angry makes it easier on me.
"No one said you had to watch." I offer, knowing I don't have to yell for him to hear.
I mindlessly walk to the car, shutting out that small part of me that still feels emotions. The car ride home is dead quiet, our tiny seed of hope finally being crushed by the weight of reality.
*****
Since I felt bad for leaving you on a cliffhanger and so many people asked nicely... here's a double update to celebrate 1 million.
I love you all, see you Saturday!
XO-Mo