I haven't been able to eat all day.
I also haven't slept well since Saturday night, the lack of Ashton a noticeable problem but I'm surviving somehow. After a day of passing through classes I'm sitting in Ashton's truck, enjoying the few minutes we have before it's time to drive to Steinborn.
"Are you sure you should go tonight?" He asks, playing with my hair.
I nod my head, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. Ashton already forced me to nap at lunch and in study hall. While I would love to sleep again even he can't calm the nerves I'm feeling.
"Absolutely." There's no way in hell I'm letting Sage out of my sight tonight.
I tense up, waiting for a fight but he just sighs. "I figured that's what you'd say, just promise me you'll be careful."
"I plan on watching my manners."
I don't think I'll be saying a word tonight. Whatever I can do to draw the least amount of attention. He kisses my cheek and I'm about to face him when there's a knock on my window.
Moving back over to my seat I roll my window down, Gabe waiting on the other side. "Hey."
He waves, offering me a fry from his McDonalds bag. Knowing he won't say anything till I eat, I reach in and grab a handful.
"There's one more thing I don't think you remember." He says between bites.
I freeze, trying to remember some horrible detail but nothing comes to mind.
"The field, that's where we're playing." He adds cautiously.
Dropping the fries, I panic, maybe it's better if I stay here after all.
"What field?" Ashton asks, grabbing my empty hand.
Gabe opens his mouth but I shake my head, I need to talk about this. "After my parents died Uncle John rebuilt Steinborn's baseball field in my dad's honor. That's where they went to school and he was the first student to make it big in sports."
Back then the only school was Steinborn, so people from both sides of town had to go there. Now it's reserved strictly for the West Side, another public school was built right after my parents graduated and Riverview opened about fifteen years ago.
Ashton squeezes my hand and I take a deep breath. "I've never been able to see it and honestly I'm kinda scared too."
John built it but dad and mom designed it with him, he just changed a few things. It was their way of giving back to the community that built them. That was his first big project after sobering up.
"Are you sure you're okay, Scar?" Gabe asks, I nod my head reassuringly. "Good because the place is gorgeous, Matty would've loved it."
I flinch at my dads nickname, I haven't heard it used so freely since the accident. Gabe walks off, getting into Zevs car.
Ashton starts the car, finally releasing my hand. "You ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
*****
I don't let myself pay attention to any of the scenery as we drive through town. Once the houses began to look older and smaller I close my eyes. It's not until the car stops and the engine cuts off that I relax, opening my eyes as Ashton pulls me across the bench.
"Everything's going to be okay." He kisses my cheek before going to leave.
I try to smile before getting out too, everything better be okay. Sage and Ella join us at the back of the truck. The twins are at Ashton's house, babysitting the girls. Hell will freeze over before I let them get involved with any of this. It's bad enough Sage is involved but there's not much I can do about that. Zev and Gabe park next to us, the pair getting out with serious looks on their faces.
Stella and James are the last to join us, I avoid his eyes. No matter how many times he's told me he's not mad I still feel guilty. Whatever happens to him tonight will be my fault.
Whatever happens to all of them is my fault.
We sit there for a while, unsure of what to do. We got to the field earlier than planned. I'm beginning to feel like a sitting duck when Steinborn's baseball team walks down to the field.
I don't breathe once I locate Bennett in the group, walking in the back as always. His tattoo on proud display with his sleeves rolled up. Scotty walks beside him, dragging his bat through the gravel. Ashton pulls me tighter into him, his arms wrapped around my chest. Bennett tracks the movement, taking note of Ashton's jersey before fixating on the collection of hickeys I have on my neck.
Ashton's theory being why let one flaw ruin a beautiful canvas. It's safe to say that, unlike the few on Ashton's neck, I've kept mine covered up at school but I was feeling spiteful this afternoon. Bennett's smirk turns to a sneer. He tried to give me a hickey once, I stopped him and it led to fight. That's why I always wore his necklace, it was something to prove I was his.
He spits at our feet as he passes, Scotty turns around to point his bat at me with an evil smile. Let the games begin.
The guys grab their stuff but I drag Ashton aside, guilt building within me.
"Are you ok?" He asks, grabbing my hand.
I nod, looking over at my brother who's already beginning to stretch his arm out. He insisted on pitching this game, Coach didn't protest. I wish he had.
I start to sketch stars onto his skin, not wanting to face him. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Anything."
I look up at him, ashamed for what I'm about to ask. "Make sure whatever happens, Sage isn't involved."
The words taste like dirt in my mouth but I know Bennett. While Ashton might anger him, he knows Sage is what will hurt me the most. And a fight will most definitely be breaking out tonight.
He nods his head, a determined glint in his eyes. "Of course."
I drop his hand, "I'm sorry to ask because I know he's focused on you too but I couldn't live with myself if-"
He pulls me into a bone crushing hug, "Sage is first priority."
I hug him back, enjoying a moment of peace before the storm. "Thank you."
He cups my face, his thumb brushing across my cheek. "You just have to make it through this week, Sweetheart."
The small sense of relief I felt disappears at the reminder of my birthday. Next week a whole new from of hell begins as social workers and interviews become my new reality. This is the last little bump in the road on my way to freedom. For my family I can make it through this. Nothing Bennett tries will break me. I've spent too long allowing people to walk all over me.
Ashton turns to go but I grab his jersey, forcing him back to me. He looks confused but I crash my lips into his before he can say anything. He wraps his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss.
"What was that for?" He asks, completely bewildered.
"My promise worked so well last time I figured I'd pay in advance this time around." I tell him, a smirk in place.
The first time we kissed was against Steinborn. What an interesting few months it's been for us. Plus it made me feel a lot better.
Ashton smiles, "I-"
I wait for him to continue but he shakes his head, cutting off whatever he was about to say.
"What?"
The coach calls and he kisses me quickly before running off. My lips tingle, I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing him. Sage walks over, grabbing my hand.
I roll my eyes at his smug smile. "Don't say a word."
"Me? Never." He has a shocked look on his face.
Despite the situation we're in I can't help but laugh, so dramatic. "You ready?"
He nods his head as we walk to the gate. We stop, reading the letters over the gateway.
Mateo Rhodes Park
I take the first step in, squeezing his hand to let him know it's okay. We make it twenty feet before coming face to face with a statue of dad pitching. We stand there, taking it all in. Uncle John definitely went above and beyond, dad would've loved it.
Sage touches the statue with his hand, tracing the features of his face. It's so detailed.
"Hey, Dad. I could really use your help tonight." He whispers.
"I love you, Dad." I add, grateful that I'm able to get the words out.
Sage gives me a hug before running over to his team. I spend a couple more seconds just studying his bronze face, taking my turn to trace it. It feels so normal that it scares me. Turning to go I find Bennett watching me, not wanting to look like a coward I keep on my path, walking right past him.
He grabs my arm, his face void of any emotion. "Big mistake, Cutie."
I pretend I didn't hear him, making it to my seat. The beating of my heart the only thing I can hear. I knew I would regret kissing Ashton but there are some things I need to do.
An hour later the umpire yells out "Play ball!"
Please, dear God, let this be the most boring game of baseball ever played.
*****
So far nothing too bad has happened.
Gabe got cleated by Scotty in the second inning but he only shook it off. A daunting smile on his face, that kid is gonna get himself killed one day. Sage has struck every batter out in the last four innings, we're only two runs away from run ruling the game.
Something gnaws at me, it's almost too easy.
We're a great team, but so is Steinborn. They aren't just our rival because they're from the other side of town. They're the best competition in the area.
And they're sucking like a bunch of t-ballers.
Sage knows it too, his pitching slows down, baiting them into getting a hit. They all still strike out. As if sensing I've caught on Bennett walks by, sending me a wink as he steps into the batter's box. I don't breathe his entire at bat. He strikes out on three easy pitches down the middle, a smile on his face as he walks back to the dugout.
The inning changes, Zev, Ashton, and Sage are up to hit soon. I'm to busy watching my brother to pay attention to the game, Ella slaps my arm repeatedly. I notice even Stella, who hasn't stopped pacing all night, is standing still.
"What?" I demand, she points at the feild and I gulp.
Bennett is pitching. He doesn't pitch, he hates the position simply because he's good at it. He had the skill set to go anywhere, for the while colleges were all over him. Dad told him all the time to seize the opportunity and he would change his mind for a while. It never stuck.
We used to bicker over it. Bennett's whole life has been focused on one day inheriting his uncles position, I used to ask him why he felt the need to stay stagnant when he could become whoever he wanted to be. He claimed he shouldn't give up what's been promised to chase the unknown.
The more we had the conversation the less pleasant it become.
He smiles, sizing Zev up as he steps into the batter's box. The first two balls go inside, barely missing his stomach. The third is thrown at his feet. The fourth skims by his head.
He eyes Bennett as he walks to first base, making sure he takes his time to get there.
Gabe bristles in the dugout, shaking the fence. Ashton's eyes never leave the mound, watching Bennett's every move as he walks up to the plate. This time Bennett doesn't even try to hide his goal, the first pitch drilling Ashton in the knee. I jump at the sound it makes but Ashton doesn't show an ounce of pain as he walks to first base, a slight limp in his leg.
My worry is cut short by the realization that Sage is up. My eyes jump from Bennett, standing smug on the mound, to my brother, a defiant smirk on his lips as he steps into the box. Please, to any being that is listening, keep him from getting hurt. The ball gets thrown straight at his head, he ducks just in time. It hits the fence so hard it rattles all the way down the first base line. My heart pounds in my ears, Ella latches onto my hand.
The ump calls time, giving Bennett a warning. Not that he pays it any attention.
Sage gets back up, and I'll be damned, he points his bat directly at Bennett. Taunting him. The ball gets thrown again, the sound of it hitting Sage's helmet echoes through my ears. He crumbles to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Everything happens quickly after that.
The umpire ejects Bennett from the game just as Ashton and Zev charge the mound, Gabe running from the dugout. The laughter that escapes Bennett's mouth only confirms my thought.
This is what he wanted all along.
The two teams end up on the field in a full out brawl. Both sides of the stands are silent as they watch the horror unfold. I want to watch but I don't let my eyes off of Sage, still on the ground. He's gotten to his knees now, spitting into the clay.
He has to have a concussion.
The coaches try to pry the boys apart, slowly making process. Bennett and Ashton still go at it, beating the shit out of each other without a thought about the world around them. Two coaches grab each of them, dragging them away from each other.
Steinborn is escorted back into their school, the boys all rowdy from the fight. Bennett spits blood on the ground as he passes me, I want to say something but I can't get over his face. Blood and bruises are everywhere, his bottom lip split open.
Ashton did that.
I run onto the field to help Sage, forcing him to stay seated till a medic can look at him. Rubbing circles on his lower back as he gets examined, holding my breath the entire time. After what feels like an eternity he gets an all clear, he's just going to have a killer headache.
"Damn." He mutters, kicking the clay.
"What?" I ask, throwing his arm over my shoulder, he's still a little disoriented.
"There's finally a full out fight between Steinborn and Riverview and I missed it." He pouts, kicking at the dirt.
I roll my eyes, he just got the shit knocked out of him and he's mad he didn't get hurt even worse. "If anything you're the reason the fight started."
He perks up at that. Boys.
I hand him over to Ella, who throws herself onto him so fast they both almost fall over. I'm about to tell them to go to the car when Sage clears his throat.
"Will you be my girlfriend, Ell's?"
Sage's question isn't a surprise to me, ever since he found out about New York he's been trying to figure out a way to ask her. It's a large step after years of fear and I couldn't be prouder.
I watch my best friends face shift through various emotions before smiling wider than I've ever seen her smile before."Of course, stupid."
They begin to kiss and I take that as my cue to leave. The two lovebirds deserve to have a moment alone after the night they've had. I grab two bags of ice from the concession stand before walking over to Ashton, who's seated on top of a picnic table.
"Are you okay?" I ask, placing a bag on his bloodied hand.
Slowly Ashton nods his head, not looking me in the eyes.
"Hey." I try again, touching the side of his face. He still doesn't respond.
I'm beginning to panic when he sighs, finally meeting my eyes. "I'm okay, Sweetheart, it's just difficult to sit down and think about what I did."
My hand pulls back, guilt spreading through me. I didn't even think about how a fight would affect him, especially after what happened last time. "Ash, I'm so sorry."
He tries to lift his injured hand and I force it down, using his good hand he pulls me close. "Don't you dare apologize. I'd beat the shit out of him a thousand times without a second thought. It's just the way my body feels after a fight, the desire to punch someone else is what scares me."
He closes his eyes again and I can see the debate going on in his mind. I think back to New Years, he called himself a monster. Placing my hands on his cheeks, I force him to look at me. "You're my Prince Charming."
He smiles before wincing as the cut on his lip gets pulled open. Now that I've reminded him how sweet he is I can lecture him.
"You're an idiot." I tell him, placing a bag against his lips.
He flexes his hand under the ice, attempting to hide his pain. "He hit Sage."
"He did, but I didn't think you would full out charge the mound." I was expecting a lot of dirty playing and a parking lot fight at most, not that.
He shrugs, turning to the side to spit blood onto the ground. I click my tongue, realizing he needs a third bag for his right eye which is almost swollen shut. And based off the grimace on his face when he turned, his side is banged up as well.
But all those injuries are because of me. I push a strand of hair out of his eyes, pecking his forehead as I lower the ice. "Thank you."
Attempting a smirk, he wraps his uninjured arm around my waist. "The things I'm willing to do for my Sweetheart."
I roll my eyes, a smile breaking out on my face. Ashton leans down to kiss me, meeting the bag of ice instead. "No sir, your lip needs to heal."
I also don't want a bloodied lip kissing me but I'm not going to be rude.
He pouts out his swollen lip and tries to give me puppy dog eyes. Instead he looks like a one eyed pirate that got lip injections. "But a kiss would make me feel better."
I shake my head, you and me both bud. "Then you should learn to protect the face."
He looks like he's about to say something but I cut him off. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I rest my head on his chest, simply enjoying a moment of being with him. He may be bruised up but he isn't completely injured.
It could have always been worse but at least this is behind us now.
Listening to his heartbeat I slowly begin to forget about the rest of the world. After God knows how long I remove myself from him, the ice is beginning to melt. "Give me your keys, I'll drive you home."
There's no way he can see with his eye swollen like that. Ella can drive our car to pick me up, along with the kids. I think they would appreciate a few more moments alone.
He hands them over, a smirk in his face as he hops off the table. "You know, Sweetheart, you could always spend the night. After all, someone should watch over me, make sure I don't get worse."
I nod my head in mock seriousness, fighting a smile as I stare into his eyes. What a clever boy. "I'm pretty sure you can handle yourself. After all, big boys don't go picking fights they can't handle."
And I don't think I'll be letting Sage out of my sight tonight, as tempting an offer as that is. In an instant my world is turned upside down, my body dangling over Ashton's back, his good arm holding me in place.
"Ashton, put me down. You shouldn't be putting any strain on your body." I protest, trying to wiggle out of his hold. His knee got hit. His side is bruised. His hand is messed up. For all I know he could have some hidden injury he hasn't told me about.
He begins to walk to the parking lot, taking his damn time. "I'm a big boy, I think I know my limits."
Oh, the arrogance and to think I was worried about his well being.
*****
Hey guys, I hope the last chapter didn't freak you out this story isn't going to do anything that hasn't already been hinted at. The gang won't become a main things it's still just Scarlett and crew trying to get through life. As always my goals are to A) make you cry. B) be as realistic as possible. C) hopefully give you a good story.
BUT I AM DRAFTING THE FINAL CHAPTERS AND LET ME TELL YOU, I'VE CRIED SO MUCH.
Xo-Mo