Connor
(the vine is important don't worry)
Right after I threw the last of my luggage back into my room, I lazily flopped back down on my own bed. My tired eyes landed on the college letter sitting on my sheets and I reached out and took it. I had to admit, I didn't think I was gonna get anywhere after my senior year. Hell, I didn't think I was gonna get through the first day of it. And it didn't really hit me as much when I first got it or when Y/N tackled me with that hug.
I was thankful for her too, even if I didn't say it. She didn't have to stay up from god knows what time to watch me have a meltdown.
Sighing loudly, I turned over on my back and used my other hand to grab my phone and scroll around. When I saw Jared's contact, I smirked. Y/N had good ideas about who to prank call.
Just as I was about to tap his contact, my device vibrated and Y/N's name and adorable, smiling profile picture appeared on the screen. I answered. "What's up?"
I was met with the same smile on the screen. "CONNOR! DUDE! GUESS WHAT THE FUCK-"
I chuckled a little.
This is familiar.
"Y/N, you're moving the phone too much, it's cutting out."
"Okay, okay..." I saw her set her own phone down on her desk.
"I thought you were gonna text." I sat up and scratched the back of my neck.
"I was, but I would've typed to fast and ended up typing something you probably wouldn't understand. So you're gonna have to be listening to this-" She pointed at herself. "atrocity talking."
I shook my head. "Stop it, you're great."
Y/N raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "That's your opinion."
It's not an opinion, I wanted to say. It was a fact. I was video calling an angel.
"Alright Y/N," I breathed out, almost laughing softly again, "What's up?"
Her eyes lit up as she held up a white, unfolded letter with a university's crest on the top left corner. "I got in."
I let myself smile widely and my mouth hangs open a bit. "You got in?"
Y/N looked like she was about to explode with positivity that it seemed almost hard to believe she had negative feelings at all. "I'm going to college!"
I wanted so badly to reach through the screen and give her the biggest hug, even bigger than the one she gave me at our spot. "Dude that's fucking awesome! I- Congrats!" She kept her eyes on the letter as she spun around in her chair. "When does your term start?"
There was a pause as she skimmed over the letter. "Before yours. Sooner, even."
I shrugged and she bit her lip, looking slightly concerned. "That's fine, I have more time to pack." I joked. "Y/N, dude, congratulations!"
The call lagged out a little, and all the while she said something under her breath. "What?" I asked, "Nothings wrong right now, right?"
"No! Well, nothing is really wrong but like," With a worried look, Y/N let the paper fall on the desk.
I gulped, hoping that none of this would be going to shit anytime soon.
"What is it, Y/N?"
A nervous laugh escaped her. "So, remember how we were both freaking out because I thought I was gonna have to move and all that shit?"
I nodded. My hands fiddled with each other, waiting for what she was gonna say next.
Then I realized didn't have to wait because it suddenly popped into my head. What I didn't realize was how much emotions could mix so much.
"Y/N, Are you..."
Her eyes widened as she took a breath. "Connor-"
"You're going out of state, aren't you?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Y/N nod. My view was fixed on anything but the screen. I didn't know what to think.
We were gonna be apart anyway, so what am I worried about?
"I'm sorry," She nervously apologized as I mindlessly tugged on my sheets. "I just- I guess that part is just getting to me now..."
"No, I know," I quickly said, looking back at the screen now. "It's just gonna be super fucking weird. Or maybe not, I'm not sure. Like, we won't be able to easily meet up somewhere because you're hours away by plane. We're not gonna be able to rush to each other's houses and just... Geez, it's gonna be different."
"You'll be able to survive without me." Y/N chuckled with a soft smile.
"Sure, but it's still gonna be different." I shrugged and then glanced back at my letter. Then I turned back to the screen where Y/N's eyes met mine. "Honestly, how can I survive without your sweet, sweet annoying voice?"
She snorted and rolled her eyes as I laughed. "Your sarcasm is amusing, Murphy."
"I do my best."
•••
Ever since we both got our letters, everything seemed to go by quicker than I expected. Days started turning into weeks, and weeks became a month and a half. Y/N and I spent as much time as we could. Sometimes we snuck into each other's houses. We also saw a few movies and shit, the whole cheesy dating stuff.
There were nights filled with video calling and that eventually turned into group video calling.
So now, I was apparently part of a Google Hangouts group called "problematic™" that comprised of me, Y/N, Jared, Gianna, Zoe, Evan, and Alana.
I couldn't think of a better-suited name.
My parents also had the idea of setting up a garage sale to get rid of the stuff I wouldn't need before I left. Zoe said she'd only agree to it if some of the money was donated to a charity. I thought it was a pretty good idea, and my parents did too. I just hoped they didn't agree to it to just make themselves look good.
Their arguing definitely didn't make them look good.
My phone suddenly buzzed while I was listening to music and getting high. I quickly read the message, tearing my headphones off.
Y/N- i just got done with work. you still want me to come over?
Me- yea sure just don't come through the front door
Y/N- the window again? i mean, i'm not complaining because i've got some GREAT climbing skills *whips*
Me- jesus y/n i'm about to delete your contact
Me- and your climbing skills aren't that cool, just sayin
Y/N- wow how rude >:0
I sighed, reluctantly put out a joint, and laid back down on the floor with my headphones around my neck. I probably should've put them on, though, because even though they died down, my parents still fought.
Minutes later as I was zoning out, I jumped at the sound of tapping on the window. There was Y/N still in her work uniform.
I quickly opened the window and let her in. "Hey,"
"Hey," Y/N smiled, and then turned to a cardboard box at the foot of my bed. I had already filled it with some stuff I didn't need. It was already halfway full. "Are you packing already? I thought you weren't leaving until next month."
I blinked and followed her gaze. "No. We're having a garage sale and shit, so my mom just came in and put this in my room."
"That's cool," She nodded and sat down on my bed. Her phone then buzzed and she read the message as I joined her. I could tell she was trying to hide a laugh. "Does- does Jared call you Cornbread?"
"The fuck?"
"Check the group chat!" Y/N chuckled as I picked up my phone and read.
bathbomb eater: hey cornbread are you going to gianna's birthday party?
I groaned and fell backwards on my bed. "Oh for fucks sake- Ugh.."
"How long has that been happening?" Unlike my aggressive fall, Y/N slowly laid down next to me. That small smile was still on her face. "I know you're pretty inactive on the chat."
"So are you," I turned my head to face her.
"I'm on there more than you."
"Is this an active group chat participant competition?"
A light chuckle escaped her lips and she then turned to face the ceiling. I did the same. "I don't wanna compete right now, I'm tired." Y/N sighed.
"You wanna sleep over?" I suggested.
"Fuck, I wish!" She suddenly sat up. "I have to wake up early tomorrow though because I'm touring the campus. Our flight's too damn early."
My eyes widened when I realized how close we are to starting our terms.
Y/N's closer to starting hers.
I tried to ignore the thought of missing each other and not being able to just sit on the same bed and talk about stupid stuff. Ignore the thought of not being able to hold or kiss her unless one of us flies hours on a plane.
"Hey, I remember this," Y/N's attention shifted to the thin yearbook probably peaking under my bed. She bent over to pick it up and looked at the cover.
"Oh dear god," I remembered wanted to burn that thing ever since I saw my picture. Cringing, I covered my face with both my hands and groaned. "This was middle school. Fucking middle school."
"A dramatic year indeed," I heard her quickly flipping through it, probably to find her homeroom pictures.
But I was wrong.
"Oh my god, is that you?" She asked.
Faster than the speed of light, I lifted my head from my hands and looked over at the page. And lo and behold, in one of the pictures, there was a curly, chin-lengthed haired Connor Murphy with a small pimple near the left eyebrow. My grin wasn't so gap-toothed either.
I was good at faking smiles.
"Well, it says 'Connor Murphy' so I assume that it is!" I said sarcastically.
"You look so cute!" Y/N was gushing at the small photo.
"Not true,"
"Oh shut up, you still are,"
I went back to hiding my face in my hands. Partly to not look at the horrendous photo, but mostly to hide a blush. "You were in her homeroom? Dear god, I'm sorry." I heard her say. When I looked up, Y/N pointed to the photo of the short-haired teacher with the thickest glasses frames.
"Yea, she was a bitch." I chuckled.
"You gonna quote the vine?"
"A b-i, c-t," With every letter, I inched closer to a laughing Y/N. She quickly leaned in and gave me a small kiss on my forehead.
"H." I finished.
After getting through most pages, Y/N got to the end of the yearbook. The last page was supposed to be for autographs or cool doodles or dumb cheesy quotes no one would follow in the future. Everyone mostly had each other's autographs and names. I didn't bother with that because I knew it wasn't important, but I also felt like doing something.
"'My favorite books (in no particular order ) by Connor Murphy'..." Y/N stared at my different page and read aloud. Was she fascinated by how I didn't follow the crowd or some shit?
She then raised an eyebrow. "Okay, your handwriting was so much better than mine."
"Thanks...?" I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck and let out a breath. "Anyway, your page was probably filled with signatures."
Y/N tilted her head, her eyes still focused on my book list. "Nope, not really. Just small doodles and a few signatures from my very small friend group. We didn't even hang out that often."
"To me, 'friends' was just the TV show." I snorted as I got up to plug my phone in somewhere.
"Hey do you have a pen or something?" She asked. I searched my desk for one and tossed her a thin sharpie.
"You were supposed to catch it." I said as it fell from her hands.
"Shut up," Y/N pouted, picked it up, and then got to work doing whatever on the page. I trusted her enough not do anything to the list. Afterward, she shut it and gave the marker back to me.
About an hour passed with small conversations. It was mostly about college and the future, but we occasionally went down memory lane and looked back at early school years. We both knew school would've been a tiny bit better if we weren't so invisible to each other.
"If we were friends years earlier, it'd probably be harder to leave," I said, resting my head on my hand as I sat at my desk.
"I think it'll be difficult either way."
Y/N replied back with a shrug and a small smile. She then stood up after checking her phone. "I gotta go, my dad might give me shit again like after the pool."
"Was that a scary moment for you?" I teased as I stood up from my chair.
"Oh, definitely."
I wrapped my arms around her and she returned the embrace. I made a promise to cherish every one of these before she leaves. "You can leave through the front now, my parents are done with their shit."
There was a silence before Y/N pulled back. "Okay, just text me if you need to. Or the group chat."
I nodded and smiled thankfully. "Yea, I will."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
•••
___________________________
Wish I could've signed this back then. These really are good books. Might read some of them again or for the first time.
Sincerely, Me.
A/N: motherhecker was 2263 words.
do i regretti? no.
do i want spaghetti? yes.
thank you so much for being so patient :) i'm participating in a lotta things this year, so updates are (not surprisingly) gonna be slow, but this won't be ending for a little while.
i wanna try to make more of these fluffy ones because as much as i live for it, angst can get tiring (:O SHE SAID WHAT???)
hope you enjoyed this one :D