"Don't you think it's rather odd that they don't even teach us basic anatomy here? I mean, most people haven't even learnt about reproduction when they arrive here." I asked. It was the day after I had failed to produce a patronus and we had all gone down for breakfast together: James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and I.
"Y-you mean like penises and vaginas?" Peter giggled and turned red.
The other boys giggled, too.
"Look at you! You can't even say penis or vagina without giggling like little twelve-year-olds. I doubt any of you know what an ovary or scrotum or clitoris is."
"I," Sirius said smugly, "Happen to know what that last little magic bean you mentioned is. And where it is." He high-fived James.
"Oh, well done. You know something everyone should know."
"What's a scrotum?" Asked Peter.
"It's your ballsack, Wormtail." James said, flicking a raisin at Remus who had remained quite quiet for the entire morning, "You alright there, Moony?"
Remus looked up, dark circles standing out against his pale skin, "Did you say something?"
I picked a strand of his hair off his robe and stroked his head once. "Is it.. your furry problem?" I asked, trying to sound as serious as possible, and not as if I was making fun of him.
"Yeah, it's tomorrow. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a bother, I'm just a bit tired, you know?"
"You needn't apologise, Remus," I whispered.
"She's right, mate, there's nothing you can do about it. Besides, you're no bother." James said.
I smiled at Remus and let go of his shoulder, not even having realised I had been holding it, and looked around for the flagon of pumpkin juice only to realise that Sirius' eyes were on me. For a moment, I saw something shining strongly in his eyes, something I didn't understand but felt drawn to, but as soon as he realised I was looking at him, it closed off and he smirked at me. "Something on my face, Heatherstead?" He asked coolly.
Suddenly, I felt embarrassed, and I looked away, muttering, "No.."
"Olimpia!" Someone touched my shoulder, and I jumped, not quite having composed myself yet.
It was Oliver. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Do you have a second?" He asked.
"Uh, yeah." I answered, then at a nudge from Remus, crawled out from the bench, realising that Oliver meant if I had a second to speak to him alone. Just as we left, I looked almost instinctively back at the boys. Remus was watching Oliver carefully, Peter was eating some toast, and James was whispering something to Sirius who was, again, staring plainly at me. I didn't see the same thing in his eyes that I had moments ago. In fact, I didn't see any emotion in them at all, though his eyes seemed darker than normal, and his brows were furrowed. I felt strangely guilty.
He led me out to the corridor and a little bit away from the entrance the Great Hall so we would be able to talk undisturbed by the movements to and from the Hall.
"So.. What's up?" I asked, though I was quite sure what was up.
"I just wanted to know if you were okay. Tibbles was particularly horrid yesterday and you seemed quite- quite upset."
"I was. I'm fine though, fuck the haters, am I right?" I said with a smile, though I still felt ashamed and embarrassed about yesterday.
He breathed out a surprised gasp of laughter, and only then did I notice that he seemed somewhat nervous. He was twiddling his thumbs together and couldn't seem to look at anything for more than two seconds.
"Yeah, fuck the haters," He ran his hand through his hair, then asked, "Hey, what are your plans for the weekend? There's a trip to Hogsmeade scheduled."
"Oh, is there?" I asked, distractedly, "That sucks ass, I've made plans to do some studying, everything sort of piles up this time of the year, you know. Oh, and Sirius is going to help me out with my patronus. What are your plans?"
He seemed taken aback, and stuttered his answer, "Well, I guess I'll just be going to Hogsmeade with friends."
I smiled at him, "That sounds nice! Well, I'll see you in class, I've got to go and get my books. Bye!"
"Uh, yeah, bye." He said, and though he was smiling, he still seemed taken aback and somewhat disappointed. These past minutes have taught me that I am not particularly good at reading emotions, and I felt rather confused as I started walking up to Gryffindor Tower.
"Hey, Ollie," Lily jogged to catch up with me, her vibrant hair swinging from side to side in a long ponytail. "What did Oliver want with you?" She asked me with a wink.
I hadn't spoken to her for a while, but it felt very natural to talk to her. I just felt awkward together with the whole group. "Oh, he just wanted to talk to me about something that happened yesterday."
She looked at me concernedly, and I knew instantly that she had heard of what happened. I moaned and asked, "How do you know? Does everyone know?"
"No, not everyone knows. James told me about it in case just so I knew in case you weren't okay yesterday evening and this morning. It was actually very nice of him." She said, looking mildly surprised just looking back at what happened.
"He is nice. And yeah, I'm alright. Oliver also wanted to know if I was going to Hogsmeade this weekend, it was kind of weird."
Lily stopped walking and gaped at me, "He asked you what?"
"What's wrong? He asked 'Hey, what are your plans for the weekend 'cus there's a trip to Hogsmeade' or something like that."
Lily looked aghast and stared at me with a huge grin on her lightly freckled face, "Oh my god, you have a date this weekend!?"
"Date? No?" I asked confused and started walking again, not wanting to be late for class, "I'm doing homework and practising with Sirius."
"WHAT?" She exclaimed, "Let me get this right. One of the most attractive boys in school, quidditch captain no less, who is clearly head over heels for you asks you out and you tell him you're doing homework?"
Feeling more confused than ever, I asked, "But he didn't ask me out, did he? He was just wondering what I was doing, he was probably just being polite."
Lily looked at me incredulously. "He was so obviously asking you out. Dear god, you really are incredibly oblivious. Have you never been on a date before?"
"Well- as a matter of fact, no I haven't. Is there something wrong with that?" I challenged her.
"No of course there isn't, it's just you're- you're really beautiful and sweet and stuff, I would have thought you got this all the time. And that you would at least be able to detect it."
I looked at her with wide eyes and let my hair fall into my face to hide my blush, "No, I'm no- you're just saying stuff- I hardly think-"
"See, that's adorable!" She laughed, exasperatedly.
I ignored this and asked her, "Do you really think he asked me out?"
She nodded vigorously, and said, "You need to go tell him that you realised you'd already done that homework or something. And did you really mention that you were going to be with Sirius? Is there anything going on between the two of you?"
"Sirius and I?" I asked, feeling my face burn even harder, "No. And I can't just tell him I finished the homework, I'll seem desperate or something. Besides, it's not actually homework, just studying."
"Oh, Merlin, he really likes you, he won't think you're desperate, just that you're thick 'cus you didn't realise he was asking you out."
"No, no. I can't do it. Look, I'm obviously not ready to go out with anyone. And I really have to study. And I do need those lessons with Sirius."
"Alright, alright, it's your decision. But maybe you should give him a chance, if not now, sometime soon. I doubt he'll be over you any time soon."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I just murmured something in gibberish and turned away to go and get my books.
Over the next couple of weeks, I felt very awkward when in the company of Oliver. I seemed to have become overly sensitive to any signs that could indicate that he might fancy me, half the time allowing my heart to flutter if I noticed him watching me, the other half scolding myself for even thinking that he could fancy me.
I was sitting on the floor of the Marauder's room, trying to cast different spells on the map, but nothing seemed to avail.
"How are the patronus lessons going, Ollie?" Remus asked me, after having waved his wand uselessly at the piece of parchment.
"They're going to shit." I said indelicately through a mouth full of cake.
"No they're not, you're improving," Sirius said, hitting me over the head- though quite a bit softer than if I had been one of the boys.
"I'm not any closer to finding out what my patronus is." I sighed.
"Bullshit, your whisps of smoke are growing larger every time you cast the charm. I'll bet it's only taking some time because it'll be some magnificent beast, like you."
I scoffed so hard I lodged some cake crumbs inside the tunnel between my nose and mouth.
"Hang on, though," James said, "Not that I have anything against it, but why are we eating cake?"
Remus smiled mischievously at me, then opened his mouth to answer. I scrambled across to him to try to cover his mouth with my hand. Unfortunately, he happens to be part wolf and easily held me back, as he went on, "Today is this magnificent beast's birthday."
The room, which had previously been rather relaxed and quiet, suddenly burst with sound, "WHAT?"
I groaned and twisted away from them, attempting to crawl to the bathroom but James grabbed my ankles and pulled me back.
"Oww, you idiot, Prongs." We had started to use each others nicknames much more lately, and it felt nice. Like we were a real group, different from the others.
"Is it really your birthday?" Peter asked.
"It is." Moony answered.
"Why in the name of merlin didn't you tell us?" Sirius asked.
"Because," I tried to squirm away from James, but his grip on my legs was very firm, "I felt awkward about it."
"Do you not like your birthday?" Asked James, as though the idea of that was crazy.
"Actually, I love it. I just don't know how to tell people about it, you know? It feels weird, like I'm asking for attention."
"What's wrong with asking for attention sometimes?" Asked Sirius, and though he said it with a joking smile, I felt there was something lying underneath it, "I mean, looking like you do already catches everyone's attention."
I blushed so hard I thought the skin on my face might burn right off.
"What do you mean with that?" I muttered, looking away.
"Yes, Padfoot, what do you mean with that?" Asked Remus interestedly.
Sirius froze for a second, but passed over it so quickly I could have imagined. He smiled and said, "Well I'm sure of you, even little Wormtail, have noticed that our Olimpia has grown into quite the looker."
I grabbed someone's pillow off their bed and stuffed my face in it to hide it from the others, who were howling with laughter. After a couple moments, I resurfaced and asked, "Is the thought of me being 'quite the looker' so ludicrous you need to laugh at it that hard?"
"Not at all, O, it's just your reaction." Remus answered, taking another bite of cake and chuckling softly.
"What day is it even today?" Sirius asked.
"The 16th." I answered.
"It's only eight days til Christmas," Peter piped up excitedly.
"OH!" Exclaimed James, "Speaking of which, would you all like to come round for Christmas?"
"Yes!" Sirius and I answered at the same time. I couldn't go back to my father's at the moment, and I supposed Sirius didn't want to return to his parents.
"I'll have to ask my parents, but I really hope I can." Remus answered, his eyes sparkling with excitement. He really was a little boy with an old soul.
"Bring them along!" Said James, throwing his arms around, "The more the merrier!"
"So mum can come too? Then I think I can join this holiday festivity!" Said Peter.
James turned to me and pointed his finger at me sternly, "You'll go with me home then, on the 20th and then we'll celebrate your birthday properly, not just some cake eating session where more than half the participants don't know what they're there for."
I couldn't help but grin widely and giggle a bit as the others all swore to make it the best day of my life so far.
"Hold up, did you just turn 15?" Asked Sirius.
"Yeah, what did you think?"
"Awhh you're so little!" He gasped, bringing me close to him to scrub the scalp of my head with his fist. I squirmed away from him, but for the second time that night, I was overpowered and ended up resting against his chest with his arms around me. I tried to breathe as normal as I could, and hoped he wouldn't notice how fast my heart was beating. "I'm not that little, you're just over a month older than me."
"Oh!" Sirius said suddenly, ignoring what I had said, "I almost forgot, Ollie and I were talking about something this summer. We should start a band!"
"Yes!" I said. I had not forgotten it, but as with my birthday, I hadn't known how to bring it up.
"A band, you say," James said, messing up his hair thoughtfully, "That could be a chick magnet."
"I think I heard Lily say she thought John Bonham was kind of tasty, and we thought you could play the percussion." I said smugly, watching as James' eyes lit up like Christmas trees.
"And what did you think I would play?" Remus asked intrigued.
"I always pictured you as the cute, mysterious one with big jumpers playing the bass guitar." I answered.
"Yes!" Exclaimed James, almost bursting with excitement, "What about little Wormy?"
"Keyboard." Said Sirius. He started playing with my hair and I thought I might have died. Did he not know what that kind of stuff did to girls?
"And you two?" Asked Remus. He caught my eye and winked at me, and I had to hold back a groan.
"We're the guitarists, mate." Sirius said, using my hair as a moustache. It looked quite weird seeing as his hair is a very dark brown, and mine a very light blonde. I turned it black and he exclaimed a bark of laughter. "Oh and I'm a vocalist, with James."
"Wicked." James said, "Oh, Sirius, do you think we could practice there?"
"That's exactly what I thought, Prongsy."
All the boys exclaimed knowing looks and I whined, "What? Practice where?"
"You'll see, little elf." Sirius said.
"Why an elf?" I asked.
"It's cause you're so goddarn small and cute!" James said, and Sirius in turn pinched my cheeks as Remus cooed at me and Peter threw empty sweet wrappers at us.
There might be much I'm not sure about, but I am quite sure these boys will be the death of me.