PSA: I'm going to update often because I have a lot of prewritten chapters in storage. Let me know if I'm doing too much. Don't forget to comment!
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I sat between Corbin and Jahir.
On the inside, I was panicking and fucking up my homeostasis.
On the outside, I was stuttering and stumbling over my words.
I had not engaged in conversation with either one of them, really.
I just let the group.
"Slow down" Corbin said, and I refrained from looking at Jahir.
My eyes widened and I slammed my laptop shut. "I need to go"
This marked the end of the second week of my suffering and these 'group study sessions' that Corbin orchestrated were not helping.
"Are you okay?" Corbin asked me.
"Girl stuff. I gotta go" I lied and practically took off.
I went to work because I needed to be distracted and Corbin and Jahir couldn't get to me after hours.
I powdered up my hands and grabbed onto the silk hanging from the ceiling.
I was now learning how to do it.
I pulled myself up and wrapped the silk around my feet, tying them.
After that, I did a split, turned my body, and brought one of my legs up as I spun around and wrapped myself in it.
I got lost in my thoughts and almost fucked up.
After two solid hours of straight practicing, I went out to grab a bite to eat.
I ordered a chipotle chicken flatbread and waited for the waiter to come back to my booth.
Jahir slipped into my booth with me, and I started to get up.
"Come on now, seriously?" He asked.
I sat back down and sipped on my lemonade.
He smiled at me and I had a flashback to when we were in bed together.
"I can't do this, Jahir"
"I know, you blocked me"
"I cannot spend anymore time with you. It's stressful."
"Why not?"
"I'm in a relationship. And I've been with him for a couple of years and this was a slip up-"
"But you wanted me" He nodded his head. "Continue"
"I didn't mean to. I didn't know that I was going to want you. It's more fucked up than you think."
Jahir shrugged. "Well I still want you, and I still want you in my bed again. You're not what I imagined you to be like. In a good way of course"
"You're not listening!"
"You left your nigga back home"
"It's Corbin!" I practically shouted.
-
"I hate you" I called out in the bathroom.
"I just wanted you to unblock me, Alicia" He called from the hotel bed.
I rebraided my hair and started to cry because I felt bad.
"Why are you crying?" Jahir asked, standing in the doorway. "You being tied to Corbin because of his disorder isn't fair to you. Y'all broken up anyways."
"You don't know us, and you don't know our relationship, Jahir. This isn't right."
"I know that. Can't you tell that I'm trying to justify this shit. I didn't know that he fucked with you!"
I started panicking and Jahir pulled me into him.
"I can't do this with you. I can't hurt Corbin anymore"
"You say that after we have sex in a hotel"
He got a tissue, wiped my face, and then he kissed me, parting my lips with his own.
I got weak and I must have shown it because he started to support my body weight.
He released me and cleared his throat. "I can give you some time, but I really don't think that I can stop fucking with you"
-
Corbin chased after me in the club.
"Move! Leave me alone"
He whipped me around and pushed me up against the wall. "Did. You. Know. Him?"
"I didn't know him, C! I was working. I dance on people!"
"I'm taking you home with me. Come on, Ali."
"I could get fired. I can't go. Why do you come here when you know what I do? Why do you do that to yourself?"
"I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYING WITH YOU, ALI. MY FUCKING HEAD HURTS AND I'M READY TO GO HOME, SO COME ON!" He grabbed my wrist and squeezed it, attempting to pull me.
"No!"
"COME ON!"
"You're embarrassing me, nigga! Stop coming around me like this!"
I went backstage and made it to my car from the back.
I hurried up and sped off before he realized what I had done.
I don't know why I did it, but I rang Jahir's doorbell.
One of Corbin and Jahir's friends answered the door.
I paused for a second, and wiped my face. "Sorry, wrong house"
"Jahir, your tutor's here without glasses and covered in glitter!"
I turned and walked down the steps quickly.
"What you doing, girl?" Their friend called after me.
"Alicia, what's up?" Jahir spoke loudly from the house.
"I didn't mean to come here" I responded and fumbled with my keys as I walked down the street.
I parked far.
"What are you talking about?" Jahir asked from behind me, snatching my keys.
He went back into his house and I had no choice but to follow behind him.
I walked back into his house and their group of friends gathered to look at me.
I bit my lip and clenched my fist. "If I have a fucking heart attack, I'm killing you, Jahir. I'm real life fucking killing you!" I shouted. "Stop looking at me!" I yelled at his friends.
Jahir came out and looked at me like I was crazy. "What's your problem?"
I turned to leave without my keys, but Jahir moved and pinned me against the wall. "Stop"
"I just- I need a friend and I don't have any"
-
"Nobody tell Corbin that she came through, and I mean that shit" Jahir said to his friends as they all played the game together. "Don't ever mention it"
I sat beside Jahir on the floor, listening all six of them play some game. I was getting tired, so I kinda leaned up against him with my eyes closed.
"Yeah, cool. You soft ass nigga. Yo dick hard as hell"
"Shut the fuck up" Jahir spat and inched away from me.
"Sorry" I mumbled and sat up.
I looked down at his pants and quickly looked elsewhere, deciding to mind my own business.
I stood up and a bunch of them started to clear their throats and cough.
"Shut the fuck up" Jahir repeated and grabbed my leg, stopping me.
He stood up behind me and guided me into the kitchen.
"They were acknowledging your ass in your leggings. You don't usually wear leggings." He said.
"I know what they were doing"
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