ALICE
Today was the day that Ben had invited me down to watch Becoming YouTube being filmed. I was slightly nervous about meeting more new youtubers; I'd been so use to my own close knit group that it was always hard to add more to my inner circle.
Dan and Phil had told me that they had finished filming all their sections so wouldn't be on set today. However I'd have the twins to keep me company, as they would be on set apparently dressed as angels.
No one but the twins know that I've created myself a YouTube account, I did it last night when I got back to Joe and Caspar's. I had decided to go with my infamous Tumblr blog name 'LetsBeStupidForever' just so my followers would know it was me.
I was meant to go over to the twins tomorrow to film my introduction video as well as a possible first collab with them. I didn't know what I was going to do yet for my video, I just knew I needed to keep it short and sweet.
It was exciting to think that in such a short space of time that a few people had managed to push me past my fear and actually do something productive for me. I knew that making YouTube videos wasn't going to be a walk in the park but it looked like I would have people to support me in the early stages. However editing Zoe's videos had set me up for that part of the process so it was really dealing with my own fans which would be a challenge.
'There's our girl.'
I looked up from my feet which I had been staring at for the last ten minutes or so lost in thought. Jack engulfed me in a hug followed shortly by Finn.
'Wow don't you two look angelic.'
They were both clad head to toe in white with angel wings on their backs, I couldn't help but giggle slightly as they looked well different from their usual selves.
'Nice one Alice.'
Finn slung his arm around my shoulder and began guiding me towards a group of people. Jack copied his brother and claimed my other shoulder.
'Yes Alice we are your guardian angels Jack and Finn, we'll always be looking out for you.'
Finn sounded genuine about that last part; I loved both of these boys.
'Alice I see you've met my angel twins.'
Ben smiled at me and I slipped away from Jack and Finn and accepted his hug. I saw Ben as an older brother figure just like Phil.
'I sure have Ben.'
I stepped away from Ben and noticed that the twins had vanished. Ben told me that they had to go and get ready for a scene.
I noticed four other people standing around Ben who were all looking at me, I recognised each and every one of them from their videos.
'Guys this is Alice Sugg and she's pretty awesome.'
I play punched Ben in the shoulder and awed.
'Yeah I am pretty awesome.'
'Cocky.'
I shrugged my shoulders and Ben chuckled, how dare he call me cocky.
'Sugg as in Zoe and Joe Sugg?'
I locked eyes with TomSka and nodded.
'Zoe's my older sister and Joe's my twin.'
'It's nice to have another girl around here I'm Carrie by the way.'
'I know I've watched your videos since the start.'
I saw Carrie blush slightly at my comment.
'Ah thanks, guys I think I've found my new girl friend. Do you do YouTube Alice?'
I shook my head.
'Not yet, Jack and Finn and well Ben persuaded me to give it a shot. I guess I didn't want fake followers from my siblings when I've got a pretty loyal Tumblr following.'
'Tumblr?'
'Wait are you Tumblr girl?'
I turned to face the one and only Dean Dobbs and bit my lip.
'Tumblr girl I am, but my blog is called LetsBeStupidForever.'
I hoped Tumblr girl wouldn't stick as a nickname but it looked like it was here to stay so I had to suck it up and accept it.
'You have a scary following, you took on danasaurs after you and Dan kissed in that lift and well you won. They wanted to know your true identity but you managed to keep it secret.'
I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was Dan who had kissed me and not the other way around. Dean sounded excited to have actually met me, was he one of my many followers? I knew Dan and Phil were.
'Wait are you the one who rules certain fandoms and ships?'
Jack Howard hadn't spoken up until this point. I already had a love triangle with Dan and Finn and I couldn't afford to add anymore youtubers especially after I'd just gotten rid of PJ. Though if I had to admit one thing it was that I wouldn't say no to Jack if he asked. He's cute I'm not going to lie.
'I run a few TV fandoms but my proudest achievement is taming the Zalfie ship and well I'm currently taming the Jasper ship, I can't help one sibling and not the other.'
'But people don't know that you're a third Sugg?'
I nodded while twirling a stray strand of hair around my finger.
'No one has put two and two together and I want it to stay that way for as long as possible.'
Jack nods, 'understood.'
I spent a good twenty minutes talking to these guys, by the end they were all following me on Twitter and had promised to check out my channel when I posted my first video.
Ben ushered Jack, Dean and Tom away to film a scene leaving me alone with Carrie. Not that I minded because she was just as sweet and nice in person as she was in her videos.
We sat together in the makeshift green room just chatting. I told her that I was going back to Brighton soon and I didn't know when I would be back down in London. She made it clear that we had to collab after learning that we had so much in common.
She also said that if I wanted to take this YouTube thing serious then London is where I really needed to be full time. YouTube Creator Space was in London as well as many other youtubers who collabed and got together to help each other out. Could I move to London on my own? I had a few things I needed to sort out first before I even planned moving down here.
I also told Carrie all the boy drama I was going through right from the start and all the way up to the present day. She didn't judge me but was a little surprised when I threw Finn into the mix alongside Dan and PJ.
'Alice you have three guys who each want you, I'm jealous that I don't even have one.'
'But you're beautiful Carrie; I thought you'd be turning them away at the door.'
She shook her head and her curls bounced on her shoulders.
'I can't tell you who to choose Alice because only you can decide in the end. You and Dan seem like the exact same person which is good in the short term but how long can you be together before it gets boring. I don't really hang out with Finn but to me he always comes across as a charmer who could get any girl he wanted. It's sweet that he's helping you out with YouTube but ask yourself what is it that he wants in return. And lastly PJ, I know you've told me that he's off your list but what went down at Starbucks sounds more like Chris than PJ, when you spoke about him your eyes lit up so don't dismiss him just yet.'
To say I was a little surprised that Carrie had given me a rundown of each guy based on a mixture of my opinions and her own observations would be an understatement. She had shed new light on my situation which including knowing the pros and cons of each potential boyfriend.
I didn't want to get my heart broken but I didn't want to hurt any of the guys either because I considered them all to be my friends.
Ben came in and told Carrie that they needed to redo one of her scenes, we exchanged numbers and she said that we had to meet up before I left London. I just sat there for a few minutes alone thinking things over, I had my phone in my hand unsure whether or not to call Zoe.
Yes she hadn't communicate with me in a few days but she was my sister and maybe I needed a sister point of view. I know she believes that I should be with Dan but maybe if she heard the whole story then she would change her mind.
Just as I was about to hit call the door to the green room opened and in walked the last two people I wanted to see at the moment. Chris and PJ made their way over to the snack table unaware that I was sitting behind them. They began talking.
'Chris I think I made a mistake with Alice. I know you were trying to be a friend but I didn't like seeing her cry when you told me everything that she told you.'
Was PJ actually there that day? Was he watching the scene between Chris and I unfold if he was talking about seeing me crying?
'Just think about it a bit more mate, she did lie to you and well I have a sneaking feeling that she'll end up with Dan because he's the easier option.'
Okay rude much Chris. I didn't want to move because I wanted to hear what else they had to say about me. Chris continued.
'I heard that the twins are helping her set up her own YouTube channel, I wonder what Finn will want in return?'
'She could be using us all to build herself up. If she makes a channel maybe she believes that the more youtubers she has under her thumb the easier the promotion for her channel.'
So PJ had a low opinion of me, I would never openly use my friends to make myself more known as I already had a loyal online following who would most likely follow me over to YouTube.
I had no intention of telling any youtubers in the beginning that I was making a channel as I stuck by the strong notion of not wanting fake followers. It had just slipped to a few that I was considering joining the YouTube community, I didn't have to tell any of them when I was uploading my first video.
In my eyes PJ was digging himself a hole which would be hard to get back out of.
Jack Howard walked into the room accompanied by Dean.
'Alice, Ben was wondering if you wanted to watch a few scenes?'
I watched as Chris and PJ froze before they turned around and locked eyes with me. I walked past them with my head held high and out of the door with Jack and Dean, Both of their expressions though were priceless.
Can PJ ever redeem himself?
Do you think Finn wants something in return for his help? Or do you think he's doing it as a friend?
If you want to stalk me online:
Twitter: @mediagirl94
YouTube #1: youtube.com/bethrobinson94 (Main Channel)