"Yes, Dakota. I'm on the phone right now." I shoo her away, and she holds her hands up in a defensive position.
"Fine. I'll go paint tell bae I said hi."
I roll my eyes at her, and turn my attention back to Jake. "Sorry what were you saying?"
"I was just saying that there's nothing I want less than to go to the strip club with them. I mean, I love them and all, but they don't get that's not me!" He sighs.
"Go to dinner with me!" I blurt impulsively.
Silence, then you can hear his smile as he says: "Kasey, did you just ask me on a date?"
"NO!" I quickly say, making a 'Psh' noise.
"Uh huh."
"It's like, a thing with Momma Em."
"So a- meet the family- date?" He definitely messing with me on purpose. "Girl, we just became official a few days ago. I thought somebody didn't want this to go too fast?" He sounds as though he's trying not to laugh.
"No! It's just- I just thought since you needed an excuse... and I thought it would be nice to... it's not like you think I just thought...ya know." I pause my rambling. "Okay, merda. Never mind. Pretend I never said anything. Just forge-"
"I'd love to." He interrupts.
"What?"
"I'd love to meet the woman that made the wonderful Kasey." He chuckles.
"Well it's too late. I already forgot I said anything."
"Ah, ah, ahh. No uninviting me now."
"Okay, okay. Fine. But this isn't a date." I say, making sure he knows.
"I'd really love to take you out in public as mine, ya know."
"You know I don't date. I said we'd take things slow involving...everyone else." I sigh.
"Yeah. I'm aware you said that. Oh well. Imma just keep waiting for you baby."
My face is so red right now. This 'trying to not fall in love with you by keeping distance' thing isn't really working out for me. "I gotta go, Jake."
"Hmm."
"No I'm serious I'm busy."
"Really."
"Uh, yep."
"Doing what?" He challenges.
"Making..." I look around the room, and pick up an empty saucepan. "Supper." I finish, plopping it down loudly on the counter to prove my point.
"Interesting... What is it?"
"Tacos!" I blurt the first thing that comes to mind, in my panic.
"With a pot?" He snorts.
"Um, warming up the taco sauce. How else are we going to eat dinner? Cold taco sauce?" I sass. I have no idea what I'm saying right now.
"Why are you 'warming up taco sauce for supper' at 3pm."
"We eat early."
"Really now."
"Um, yes?"
He snickers. "That's complete bullshit, but I'll go if you'd like."
"Okay."
"So...Bye then."
"Bye."
He doesn't hang up, and neither to i.
"Jake?"
"I didn't wanna hang up." He states.
"Obviously. But I don't like to hang up on people, and I seriously have to go..."
"...Make tacos. I know."
"Yes. Make...Tacos." I repeat defensively.
"Kasey?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm not gonna let you run from your feelings forever. I wanna take you public, and then fuck you all night long until for the next week you remember who you belong to." He says lowly.
"So um, bye!" I quickly hang up and drop the phone on the counter, my cheeks flaming. Curse you Irish genes.
A few snap chat texts ping in, and I look down.
JT🔥: I thought u didn't like hanging up on ppl?
Me: shut up.
JT🔥: stop running, baby. You're thin enough 😉
Me: I'm not. I gtg make supper
JT🔥: Right. At 3pm. how silly of me to have forgotten
I roll my eyes and decide to not respond, instead I spread out a yoga mat on the floor of the living room and put the phone a few feet away.
JT🔥: Babbyyy it's impolite to just leave in the middle of a conversation...
I roll my eyes again and pick it up.
Me: we were ending our conversation. And stop calling me baby!
JT🔥: does it bother u?? 😏
That's a way to put it.
Me: Yes.
JT🔥: I think it just makes u horny and u won't admit it
Wow. This man knows me. Terrifying.
Me: u wish
JT🔥: I dooo 👅
My face flushes and I plop down the phone, putting my hot cheeks in my hands.
JT🔥: holding ur face doesn't make ur cheeks less red...
I drop my hands and pick up my phone again.
Me: I wasn't, u stalker.
JT🔥: it's called observant, baby
Me: or you could stop staring at me, you creep
JT🔥: Now why the hell would I wanna do that? You're 🔥😍🔥
My heart thuds in my chest, and I hafta smother my grin.
Oh fuck. I'm done for.
Me: ...
Me: I gtg. Ttyl
He opens the message, but doesn't respond until I'm back on the yoga mat, my forehead against my knee. I sit up as it pings several times.
JT🔥: more like I'll start the conversation later and you'll try your hardest to not respond for a few minutes, excusing that you're 'busy'
JT🔥: I don't know why u are tryin to fight this so hard, but it's not working the way u want it to.
Me: Idk what to say. I warned u I'm difficult, and u won't pull away.
JT🔥: I'm like an octopus on your face
Me: that's the weirdest comparison ever. That's your new snap emoji ngl.
I quickly go to settings, and change it.
JT🐙: Perfect
Me: no but seriously. I'm a terrible person to date.
JT🐙: Again! Baby I said I'm not going anywhere. This feels like every time we go 2 steps forward, you wanna take 1 step back. Ik this is all new to u baby, but seriously.
JT🐙: I'd walk, this pace, to Canada if it meant getting you in the end
OH MY HEART. I CAN'T TAKE THIS 😫! STOP TALKIN LIKE THAT! I type, but instead I send: Canada is awfully far away.
JT🐙: I haven't done the exact calculation, but I think this pace, all day every day, would take me about... 500 weeks.
Me: WTF actually how long is that
JT🐙: idk... there's 52 weeks in a year
Me: so like... 9.6 somethin years
JT🐙: I'D WALK FOR 10 YEARS BASICALLY WITHOUT STOPPING IF IT MEANT I GOT YOU. (That also means by the time I finally got you, my legs would basically have fallen off and I'd be skinny asf and my body would be basically rotted to bits from never stopping for a break, and also it's fucking cold in Canada so I'd be frozen to death.)
Me: wtf Jake. Why must you be so romantic?
JT🐙: it was unintentional, I swear.
Me: AWEHS JT has a mushy heart after all 😛 I bet the boys would love to hear that
JT🐙: Oh fuck.
JT🐙: Babe if u show this to the gang I will legit HUNT. YOU. DOWN.
Me: now I've just got some great blackmail on you.
JT🐙: if you were anyone else I'd hate u
Me: but you don't
JT🐙: no. no I do not.
Me: well this has been lovely, but I must go
JT🐙: you cook those tacos babe!
Me: Umm what? Why would I be cooking tacos?
JT🐙: I thought you were in the process of making tacos for supper😏
Me: Right. Yes I am.
JT🐙: Uh huh.
Me: Mmk. Ttyl
JT🐙: I'll be here. Waiting til you text me back
Me: you have no life
JT🐙: nope. My life is sitting here in my office on my phone, waiting for the day when you're only mine 😊😊
My heart is a puddle of mush on the ground.
Me: again, no life.
JT🐙: (my life is the person on the other side of this conversation)
Wow. Ladies and Gentleman. THIS is how you steal someone's heart.
___________________________________________________________________________-
Is anyone else kinda sad that you don't have a JT in your life?
Tell me about it. My own characters are effing goals.
#jasey
#jaseyforlife
#MKOP
YASS thanks @lsoheim, @bechein1999, and Jill for always supporting #jasey!
And also HUGEMONGUS (intentional misspelling) thank you to Lojain, for offering to help me type this all out. I seriously don't know that I could ask for a better friend!
Like ppl! I texted her with: if I needed you to help me do something, would you? And right away she answered 'of course.' So like....be glad I wasn't asking if you could kill someone for me.
-man that would have been funny-
(I'm serious, Lo. You're so awesome)
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