"Cas..."
"Don't," he says, his voice cracking.
"Please talk to me, kitten," Dean says gently, protectiveness oozing out of his pores. Only he's the one hurting his mate. He sits up and leans closer, but is careful to keep his hands at his sides. He doesn't think Cas needs him to be touching him right now; or, at least, touching him more. Dean can't really help that they're already knotted.
"Do you think this is easy for me?" he says, finally dropping his hands and looking up at Dean. He notices for the first time how tired Cas' blue eyes look.
"I—"
"To just sit around here and wait? While you run around with pretty little betas?"
"That's not what I was doing, and you know that," Dean breathes. He's pretty sure this isn't about Bela specifically, or any of the other girls specifically.
"Isn't it, though?" Cas says, his voice breaking. "Are they that preferable to me, because they are wolves?"
"What?" Dean says, shock wracking his body. No way Cas thinks there is anyone that Dean wants more than him. Dean tries to wrap his arms around Cas' waist, but Cas pushes his hands away. "Cas, I don't want them. I never wanted them. You are everything to me. You are—"
"Then why don't you want me?"
His voice is soft, softer than Dean has ever heard. He sounds goddamn breakable. And Dean made him sound like that.
"Wh-what?" Dean stutters, his voice hoarse and unsure.
"Every instinct in my body is screaming," Cas says, his voice slightly stronger. "Take me alpha, mate me alpha, make me yours alpha," his tone is mocking, too high-pitched, and Dean can hear how much he hates saying it out loud."I can't control it, and I can feel it reaching out for you. I know I told you the bond wasn't important to me, but...how can you say no to this?"
Cas' blue eyes meet his own, and Dean's heart crumbles into pieces. Cas is so strong and tough and unafraid, it's easy to forget how much power Dean really has over him. He knows, because Cas has the same power over Dean. Dean reaches up and cups Cas' cheeks, touches their foreheads together. Cas doesn't pull away, and for that he's grateful.
"Because we aren't mated yet, you think I don't want you? You think I'd pick somebody else over you?"
"Perhaps," Cas says softly, touching the corner of Dean's jaw with careful fingers.
Dean closes his eyes, valiantly trying to get control of himself. His wolf is angry, and it's all directed inward. He did this. He caused all of this, this entire fight.
"You are it for me, Cas."
Cas blinks at him, his eyes red rimmed and wet and so goddamn heavy.
"I want you more than anything, but I want you to be safe. And right now, if I went home mated, I can't—I can't protect you. I don't know that I could protect you. From what might happen. And I can't—"
He manages to maintain his calm a lot better than he did when he said the same thing to Jo, but he can hear the panic rising in his voice with every stuttered word. He's pretty sure it's only because he has practically full body contact with his mate that he's able to speak at all, and even so he can feel his wolf getting riled up.
"Your father wouldn't hurt me," Cas says, sounding so sure. But Dean doesn't believe it. He honestly doesn't know what his dad would do right now. Hurting Cas for the sake of the Pack in an effort to break their bond or to keep Dean away from him doesn't seem too far out of the realm of possibility.
"You don't know my dad. What he'd do to protect the Pack. But I promise you, Cas. I promise. I'll talk to him when I go home. And the next time I see you, we'll be mated."
"Okay," Cas breathes, softening a little bit against him. Dean feels like a crushing weight has been lifted off his chest, like he can breathe again.
"And I'm sorry. For dragging you through this shit. I'm so fucking sorry."
Cas kisses him then, soft and warm, and Dean doesn't feel like he deserves it but he takes it anyway.
"I am sorry for letting my hormones get the best of me."
Dean pulls him closer and nuzzles his neck. "Don't apologize for that. Don't apologize for anything. This is on me."
Cas hums and curls around him, which gives Dean a scary amount of relief.
"And Dean?"
"Yeah, Cas?"
"If that beta, or anyone else for that matter, puts their hands on you ever again," he says, his voice calm and even like he's talking about the damn weather, "I will remove their lungs from their chest cavity and you will be exiled from this tree for as long as I see fit." Cas pulls back and places one last searing kiss on Dean's lips, gripping his nape with long fingers as he does. "Clear?"
Dean suppresses a smile. There's his fiery little cat.
"Crystal."
They sit on those stairs, wildly uncomfortable as they are, just holding on to each other for a long time. They kiss occasionally, but mostly they just touch each other innocently. Cas tracing the freckles on Dean's shoulders, Dean running a finger along the lines of muscle on Cas' back. They don't even really talk, not until it's gotten late and Cas mumbles something about wanting to sleep. Dean stands easily, his knot long since shrunk, carrying Cas up the stairs with him. Cas wraps all six feet of himself around Dean's torso, his purr almost inaudible.
They fall asleep under a pile of blankets, hidden away from the world, Cas' back against Dean's chest and their limbs tangled together. Dean empties his mind and focuses on his mate, letting everything else fade away. Until the sun comes up, until the raw exposed nerves have been soothed by a night of sleeping in each other's arms, nothing else exists. Not for Dean. There are no humans, no opposing packs, no dangers to his mate. For right now they are safe, his wolf can protect them.
Everything else can wait until morning.
***
Castiel untangles himself from Dean's side, pulling on pants, shuffling over to the window, and sitting against the wall. This way he can lean his chin against the windowsill and watch the trees, his eyes following two squirrels that are jumping around.
He's tired, in a way that he knows isn't physical. He's glad that he managed to vaguely talk to Dean last night, about how hard this is on him, but he doesn't feel any better. Though Castiel isn't angry at Dean anymore, he's still frustrated. Having a mate while not really having a mate is wrecking havoc on his instincts, which he doesn't enjoy being influenced by in the first place. Castiel had certainly underestimated how hard this would be, but he'd also underestimated how many obstacles would get in their way. He thinks, had it not been for the kidnappings, this might have been sorted out a while ago. As it is, he and Dean have a lot to talk about.
He knows, realistically, that he should have told Dean about what was happening after Samandriel disappeared. Though even then, none of them had been sure that there was anything going on, let alone that humans were involved. Castiel had only become privy to that specific piece of information recently, after Rachel was taken. He wonders sort of absently if the wolves know anything about it, anything about the humans, about what they're doing, that they aren't telling the Arch. Though if they do, he doubts Dean knows about it.
Castiel is fairly certain Dean wakes up because he moved, since his wolf only wakes up enough to move across the room and lay his head in Castiel's lap. He seems to decide to forego pants, but Castiel barely notices.
"You okay, kitten?" Dean mumbles tiredly, wrapping his strong arms around Castiel's waist. Castiel's hands automatically find their way to Dean's shoulders, stroking the hair at his nape and massaging his spine.
"Not really," Castiel sighs. Dean shifts automatically, rolling over so their eyes can meet. Castiel can smell his worry, and it is one of those rare times when he can smell a little bit of himself on his mate. It settles some deep, primal part of himself.
"Talk to me?" Dean asks, running a rough hand up the outside of Castiel's arm.
Castiel hesitates for a second, not really sure where he should start. "Perhaps we should start with what you know."
Dean sighs and nods, taking a deep, heavy breath and rubbing his eyes before he starts.
"Couple days ago, dunno, sometime, we had some humans encroach on our territory. There was a bunch of shit about it, but turns out they weren't up to anything so we dropped it. Probably just some lost hikers, or a coupla hunters who came out too far."
"Why didn't you tell me about that?" Castiel asks, furrowing his eyebrows and trying not to be annoyed.
"Dunno. Seemed like you guys weren't having issues, and I didn't want to drag you into the middle of it. Guess I was wrong, though," Dean pauses and takes another deep breath. "Had a long meeting the other day with the Council. Apparently y'all guys have declared some kind of, leopards versus humans war that we aren't allowed to get in the middle of."
Castiel snorts. The humans would twist it like that, try to make it seem like this was his pack's fault. And he was definitely right in assuming that Dean doesn't know about the Council meeting with the Arch.
"That's what your Council told you?"
"Not the Council. Crowley, president of the human embassy. Sent us a personal letter telling us to butt the fuck out, or else. Said you guys were being openly hostile, that you even attacked an innocent. Some little hiker."
Now that is surprising. As far as Castiel knows, there haven't been any humans attacked in any of their territories. Which means it must have happened when the humans tried to take one of his pack. He gets a bitter sort of satisfaction from that, knowing that at least one of the humans paid for what they are doing.
"Good. One of them was able to defend themselves."
It's Dean's turn to be surprised this time. He sits up and shifts until they are facing each other, protectiveness practically melting off of him in waves.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Three leopards have gone missing," Castiel says, quickly like he's ripping off a bandaid. "I am glad to hear that one of them got a few shots in against the human who took them."
Dean's jaw might as well be on the floor. It takes him a second before it sinks in, then his eyes darken and a rumbling growl erupts out of his chest.
"Three? Three? Why the fuck didn't you tell me about this, Cas! You could've been the fourth! What the fuck were you thinking?"
Castiel puffs up his chest and glares back. He doesn't need Dean going all angry alpha on him right now.
"I am perfectly capable of protecting myself," Castiel snaps. "And I'm telling you now. We weren't sure that there was even foul play, not until the third kidnapping, since it is not uncommon for leopards to migrate alone."
Dean scoffs. "So, what? You thought they just wandered off by choice?"
"It was a possibility. And until very recently we didn't know that the humans were behind it. There was no scent trail, no tracks, no nothing. It was only after Rachel that we decided that there is, realistically, no other option."
Dean drags his hands through his hair, smelling even angrier.
"Fuck," he swears under his breath. "I fucking knew they were up to something. Fucking fuck."
"Use words, Dean," Castiel sighs. He's not sure what, exactly, Dean knows, but it's something.
"After Crowley sent us that message, the Council agreed not to interfere in your little fight. Probably because the humans know they can't take us both. Me and Kev, we went out to the embassy and agreed to their terms in person." Dean reaches out and takes both of Castiel's hands, threading their fingers together. "They were wearing scent blockers, Cas. All of them."
Castiel's stomach drops.
"That's why we couldn't smell them, or track them."
Dean just nods, and Castiel feels like he's going to be sick. They really do have Inias and Samandriel, and now Rachel too. The humans actually have them.
Castiel doesn't resist when Dean pulls him forward, climbing into his lap and tucking his head underneath Dean's chin. His mate's arms come around him automatically, rough hands against his skin, and he is immensely thankful for the comfort.
"I'll talk to the Council when I'm home. No way they let this fly. We'll help you guys. And we'll find them."
"They already know, Dean."
His wolf goes still.
"Sorry, what?"
Castiel leans back just enough to make eye contact. "The Arch and the Council have met. Your Council, they know about the kidnappings. We've told them. They do not want to be involved. We thought they might help, but we were wrong."
The muscles in Dean's jaw tick, his fingers tight against Castiel's skin. His anger is like a thick cloud all around them, the air heavy. Castiel can feel calming waves seeping out of his skin, his body automatically trying to calm Dean down, to take the edge off. It only kind of seems to work.
"Something is going on. It has to be. They're not—They wouldn't—"
"I know," Castiel says, cutting him off. He thinks he knows how Dean feels, betrayed by his own leaders. Some other explanation, any other explanation, would be preferable to knowing that the Council voluntarily chose not to help. Castiel hopes, partially for Dean and partially for his pack, that there is something else going on.
"I'll change their minds," he says, touching their foreheads together. "Whatever I have to do. I'll get them on your side."
The tone of Dean's voice is so immensely serious and protective, Castiel knows he's not kidding. He pulls back to look at Dean, catching his green gaze and cupping his stubbled jaw with a hand.
"Big tough alpha, huh?"
"Shut up."
Dean kisses him, harder than usual, his arms tightening further. Castiel shifts so they are chest to chest, wrapping his legs around Dean's waist and cupping either side of his neck with his hands, stroking his thumbs over the corners of his jaw. Dean's hands slide down his back to his hips, pulling him closer. Castiel leans into him and parts his lips with his tongue, swallowing Dean's moan and groaning himself when he smells his alpha's arousal in the air. He can feel it underneath him, too, and all he wants in that moment is to feel his mate inside of him, to move together and remind his panther that Dean is safe in his arms. Even if Inias and Samandriel and Rachel aren't safe at all.
"Dean—"
He's cut off with a kiss, and a murmured I know. They shift around awkwardly to get Castiel's pants off, and it could've been much easier but neither of them is willing to move very far from the other. Still they manage, and Castiel wants to sink right down onto Dean's erection but he's stopped.
"Shh. Slow down. We have time."
Time, yes. But Castiel doesn't want to waste it.
"Then hurry up," he says, nipping Dean's lip. His mate huffs a laugh and complies, slipping a finger into him that already has Castiel whining. He wants more. Dean seems to get it, because he moves his hands and then he's splitting Castiel open and it is everything he needs.
A pathetic little whimper escapes his throat and he practically clings to Dean, breathing against him. He wants to hate it, he should hate it, how he turns into every bit the needy little submissive as soon as Dean's hands are on him. Somehow, he doesn't. He can want what he wants, act how he wants to act, because Dean won't think less of him. It's okay for him to need his alpha, to need his mate, because Dean needs him too. Dean gets him, knows him, and wants him as he is. Contradictions and all.
Castiel shifts his hips and Dean groans, threading his fingers into Castiel's hair and pulling his mouth down. The intensity of their kisses doesn't match the slow, lazy rolls of Castiel's hips, but neither of them cares. This is more about proximity than anything else, about reassurance.
Things don't pick up until Dean lays out on his back, slightly bending his knees. Castiel stays sitting up with his knees planted on either side of Dean's torso, leaning slightly back against his mate's knees. With Dean's hands on his hips and his knees on the ground he lifts up and slides back down, groaning at the stretch and push of Dean's cock inside of him.
"Fuck," Dean swears, his voice low and raspy, his eyes fixed between Castiel's legs. With how they're spread, Dean must have a pretty good view of how his cock slides in and out of Castiel's slick soaked hole. "Kitten you look so good, you feel so good."
Dean's voice is rumbling, almost a growl, and Castiel can hear the wolf under his skin, can feel the animal energy of him. It makes him feel powerful, how much he can affect his wolf.
"Do I?" Castiel says with a slight twitch of his lips, his own voice breathy. He rolls his hips and arches his back for emphasis, paying as much attention as he can manage to the changes in Dean's breaths, in his voice. "Tell me how I look."
"Sweaty, and wet, and that fuckin' blush all over you," Dean grits out as his gaze burns across Castiel's chest, pulling his hips down and grinding up hard in retaliation. Castiel is glad for Dean's knees to hold him up, because the brush against his prostate sends him reeling. "And still mouthing off," Dean laughs, his smile hungry.
"Just how you like me," Castiel fires back, smiling, the speed of his hips increasing with each second. Some part of him, a rather large part, feels the burning sarcasm in those words. Though Dean certainly doesn't take them that way.
"Fucking right," Dean growls, his pride practically shining out of him. Castiel isn't sure when he'll get used to that, Dean being proud of how he is. But that's something to think about when he's not in the middle of, frankly, really fucking fantastic sex. "Stretched around my knot, and cheeky as ever. I fuckin' love you like this."
And that hits something deep inside him, because a bolt of pleasure shoots up his spine and he's crying out Dean's name.
"I got you, baby, I got you," Dean mumbles through drawn out pleasured noises, his knot catching and keeping Castiel tight against him. Dean grinds up one more time and Castiel comes, painting Dean's chest and stomach. Dean lets out a colorful stream of curse words and several more rolls of Castiel's hips as his orgasm rocks him has Dean coming, his knot swelling and filling Castiel to the brim.
Castiel slumps back against Dean's knees, panting and closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Dean emptying himself. He'd never understood the appeal, before he'd met Dean, of being filled. Now he does. Now he wants every ounce of his mate's come, wants to pull him through as many orgasms as his body will allow. He doesn't ever want to be separated, doesn't ever want to lose this.
Even the idea of being filled with pups, of carrying something that is theirs...well. It doesn't sound that bad. It sounds kind of good. And it certainly makes his panther happy. But mostly just because it's Dean, and having that together...
Yeah. He would like that.
He knows Dean would, too. He doesn't miss the way Dean's hands slide over his belly as he sits up, or the way he scents Castiel's neck. It's an instinctual thing, the alpha checking to see if their mating was successful, and he's pretty sure Dean isn't doing it on purpose. It still makes his stomach flutter, in a way that isn't unpleasant.
Castiel curls around him, wrapping long arms around his neck and long legs around his waist. He feels Dean groan against his skin as he empties himself again, and it makes Castiel shiver. Castiel's lips find their way to Dean's neck, kissing and nibbling underneath his jaw. He can't bite, he knows that, so he starts working on a mark instead, one that's dark and will stick around. If Dean minds he doesn't say it, and the way his fingers dig into Castiel's back suggests that he definitely doesn't mind.
Quiet sighs and moans pass between them, and Castiel lazily works on Dean's neck until his mate drags their lips together. Then he melts into his mouth, memorizing his taste and the smell of his pure contentment. Castiel thinks he might be the one who says I love you first, but it could've been Dean. It doesn't matter. Once it's out it flows back and forth, is said through kisses, through needy breaths, is pressed into flushed skin and mumbled in broken voices.
It's overwhelming, how much Castiel needs this wolf. Completely overwhelming, and somehow completely okay. Because it isn't crippling, isn't confining, doesn't make him weaker. It makes him stronger, to have Dean in his arms. To have this mate at his side.
And he loves him.