I JUST realized that this is the 22nd chapter of 'Diary of a Teenage Nerd'!!! We need to celebrate or something!!!
TRIGGER WARNING: BLOOD, SELF HARM, SUICIDE ATTEMPT IN THIS CHAPTER
Raines' POV
"You know what? I'M TIRED OF THIS BULL SHIT!" I stood up and screamed. "I finally had the chance to have an amazing boyfriend! I finally had the chance to have a good life! I finally had the chance to have friends! I finally had the life I deserved! But no one thinks I deserve it! You don't want me to have a life half as nice as yours? WELL THEN FINE! I'LL BREAK UP WITH LIAM IF YOU WANT ME TOO!" I grabbed my things and stormed out of the room before the teacher could yell at me.
I walked down the hallway not knowing where I should go next.
I made my way into the girls bathroom. Shoving the door open I threw my stuff on the ground. I walked up to the mirror and examined myself. My mascara had began running and my eyes looked bloodshot. Other than that I looked fine. My hair looked different because it was flat ironed. My hot pink shirt made my pale skin and dark hair stand out. My jeans, were just jeans.
My books had scattered all over the bathroom floor. And my heart seemed scattered in a million pieces. Was I really going to break up with Liam? It seemed the right thing to do at the moment. But I know I would never be able to bring myself to do it.
I sunk to to my knees on the floor and crawled over to my back pack and opened the front pocket. I slowly pulled out a switch blade that I always kept in there for protection when walking to and from school. I pondered whether I should take up my old habit again.
"I'm tired of being alive," I muttered and pressed the switch blade against my wrist. I almost immediately saw blood start pouring out of the cut, but I continued digging the blade into my wrist, pushing harder and harder. I reached up and threw the blade into the sink closest to me, then just stared at the cut as the blood gushed out of it. I'd never seen this much blood before.
I didn't turn around to see who just entered the bathroom. I watched the thick, red liquid stain my blue jeans. Finally I turned around and faced a shocked Liam standing behind me. The salty tears dripped into my cut, making me wince. I whipped away the tears and took one last look at my arm.
"Raines..."
"I just realized the only time salt water doesn't hurt your eyes is when your eyes are open and you're crying." I gave him a sad smile before the loss of blood made everything go dark.
Liam's POV
I couldn't do anything but watch as the doctor's gathered around Raines who was lying in a scarily large pool of blood. The medics arrived a few minutes ago because one of the teachers called them.
A crowd was forming in the hallway. I stood at the entrance of the bathroom door. The medics pushed me out so they could do their job.
"Oh look...isn't that sad." I turned around and faced the blonde girl I basically hated right now.
"You're a bitch you know that?" I glared at her. She walked up to me.
"You used to like it," She whispered in my ear before disappearing. What she said sent shivers down my spine...and not in a good way. I watched her walk through the crowd. Her blonde hair flowing behind her, heels clicking. It sounded more like a bomb fixing to go off. And hopefully, in the end, she would be the one who got blown up.
I turned back around and faced the door.
"What happened?" A familiar voice asked me.
"I'm not sure but I heard yelling and I found Raines in the bathroom...she slit her wrist." I felt the tears in my eyes.
Harry grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. I looked at his familiar curls and green eyes. He pulled me into a tight embrace. I couldn't help but hug back. Harry was one of my closest friends. I knew he would be there for me. I didn't need to hide my tears, not around him. But we were in front of the whole school...I let that thought slip my mind when I started to cry.
Why did she have to harm herself? What happened? This had to do something with Jessica I just know it.
I didn't know anyone who was in Raines French class...I guess I'd just have to wait until she wakes up. Another trip to the hospital. What about her parents? They need to know...
"Harry, cover for me. I have to get Raines phone and call her parents."
"What do you want me to do?"
"I don't know! Improvise!!!!" I shouted. "Sorry...nevermind. I got it." I turned around and ran straight into the bathroom, pushing past the medics. I grabbed Raines' back pack. I searched the pockets for her phone. No one seemed to notice I was here until one of them turned around.
"Who are you?" She asked me.
"Liam Payne, Raines' boyfriend. I'm trying to get her phone and call her parents."
"We're fixing to load her in the ambulance. Are you riding?"
"Yes."
"Then call while we're in the car." I looked at Raines' pale body. Her lips in a tight line, her hair a little messy, skin looking a little see through and a light purple color which scared me half to death.
Once I was able to tear my eyes away form her, I kept looking through her back pack to find her phone.
I remembered her pulling it out to show our teacher...it was in the front pocket. I zipped open the front pocket and pulled out her phone. I looked up as someone tapped my shoulder, motioning for me to go.
I realized that they had just lifted up Raines' onto a stretcher and were going out of the door. I didn't hesitate to follow them out the door. Before I knew it I was running alongside the medic who talked to me a minute ago.
"Liam!" I turned around and faced Harry.
"Harry! Meet me at the hospital!" Without another word turned around and ran to cacth up with the medics.
Once in the ambulance, I sat down and looked at Raines' phone. I turned it on and went to her contacts. She didn't have many. Just me, her mom, her brother, her dad, the boys, and some girl named Skyler. I clicked on her mom's number and held the phone up to my ear.
It rang three times before picking up.
"Hello Raines! Aren't you in school?"
"Mrs. Tyler! Hi, it's Liam-"
"Liam aren't you supposed to me in school too?"
"YesbutRainescutherselfnowwereinanambulenceonthewaytothehospitalandRainesisseriouslyhurt. Thewoundisreallybad."
"Liam...repeat that. You were talking to fast."
"Raines cut herself, and it's really bad, and we're in the ambulance now."
"WHAT?! OK, I'll call her father, I'm coming." I hung up and put the phone in the pocket of my navy blue sweat shirt. I looked down at Raines. She looked more....pale. How is that even possible? I took her hand in mine and squeezed it like a life line.
As if still having hope, I felt the slightest squeeze back.
Harry's POV
Thoughts raced my mind as I ran through the school trying to get out. I knew I'd get in trouble for leaving school grounds but Raines meant a lot to me. I wasn't about to spend the rest of the day in school while she was in the hospital and I could get to her.
Slamming the school doors open, I ran as fas as possible to my car in the parking lot. Everything was happening so fast. It seemed just a second ago I was sitting in Maths. Now I'm in my car racing to the hospital because one of my best friends just cut herself and is in an ambulance, also racing to the hospital.
Didn't she just get OUT of the hospital? Now she's going back? What the hell am I going to do with this girl?
Raines' POV
*****Flashback******
I ran threw the meadow, the wind blowing back my hair, sun shining bright as ever.
"Raines! Let's have a contest to see who can ride the fastest. GO!" Skyler took off on her horse before I knew what hit me. Once I realized she wanted a race, I went from a trot to a gallop. The chestnut mare rocked beneath me. I saw the sun shining on her brown coat from the corner of my eye. Dead in front of me was Skyler riding on her white stallion.
I smirked at Skyler as she turned around to look at me.
"Let's show her what your made of." I whispered into the horses ear. I leaned forward and the horse seemed go about ten miles faster. The scenery raced beside me. Before I knew it I was swerving to miss Skyler and Taygen. Taygen is Skyler's horse. My horse is Bambi. After the deer. Weird, but it suited her.
I let out a shout of joy as I reached my destination. The 100 year old oak tree that stood in the middle of a field where we rode our horses.
"Told you Bambi was a horse you don't need to under estimate!" I yelled at Skyler when she rode up.
"Well Taygen and I were just warming up!" She replied matter-of-factly.
"Psh...." I laughed and dismounted my horse. Skyler dismounted hers and walked over to me. I smiled, "You know I love you." I threw an arm around her shoulder.
"Best believe." I took my horses' reins and pulled her after Skyler and I. This is our normal afternoon. Riding, racing, then walking home.
I watched my boots walk through the wheat field we were in now. The sides of my pink and blue plaid shirt sometimes came into view but would quickly disappear because of my arms swinging back and forth.
"When school starts back up.....I swear murder is all that's going to be in my mind," Skyler muttered. I looked at her. Circular face, long thick brown hair. She just got pink streaks in it. Her hazel eyes shone in the light. She was definitely beautiful. Don't ask why she hangs out with the middle school nerd.
"Skyler...I need to tell you something."
"Raines you know you can tell me anything you please."
"I'm moving to England."
*******End of dream********
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Not that machine again.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Why won't my eyes open?
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Am I blind?
Beep. Beep. Bee.
SOMEONE TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!!!!
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My eyes finally opened. Slowly I saw the white walls that I had seen, what seemed like, a few hours ago.
I tried to push myself up but couldn't. Something was on my stomach. What the fuck?
I looked down and saw Liam's head laying on my stomach. I smiled. He had his fingers entwined with mine. His hand was gripping mine like a life line. I ran a hand through his soft hair.
I opened my mouth to wake him up but nothing came out.
Why can't I talk? Nothing will come out of my mouth. So instead of yelling at Liam to get him off of my stomach I gently rubbed circles onto his back to wake him up.
After a minute he slowly sat up. His eyes widened to the size of golf balls when he realized I was looking at him. He crashed his lips onto mine.
"Well hi to you too." My voice was pretty scratchy. He laughed. I followed his eyes when he glanced at my arm. It was bandaged pretty thick. And then had an IV in my arm which was pumping blood into me. "How long was I out?"
"Raines you have to promise me you won't ever do anything like that again. Alright?"
"I can't make I promise I won't keep..." I muttered. He stood up and began pacing the room. "Where are my parents?"
"Talking to the doctor....Raines...they want to impatient you in the hospital so you can recover."
"Well that's a good thing right?"
"NO! Raines this has gotten so bad that they are going to place you into a hospital, put you on medication and I'll only see you for an hour a day!!!!!!!!!"
"Liam, it's to help me."
"Have you forgotten I'm leaving in two weeks?" I shut my mouth. He IS leaving in two weeks. Liam stopped pacing and looked me square in the eye. (Play song at the side.)
"Liam we need to talk." He began to pace the room again. "Sit down, it's just a talk."
Liam sighed and sat down in the chair again. He smiled politely at me. I looked out the window that was behind Liam.
"Liam we need to break up." His mouth dropped open.
"Are you kidding me?" I shook my head. "Why?"
"It's just....not fair. You being away for X-Factor. And I don't need to be stopping you from continuing your career. I don't think I could live with it."
"Is that it? Is that why you're breaking up with me? Or did you find out?" Liam seemed to be getting mad.
"Find out what?"
"So you don't know?"
"Obviously not! Liam what aren't you telling me?"
"I'm telling you now, that I lied. I've been lying. I realized I first liked you after you left my house. When I told you Harry just dared me to talk to you. That's not what really happened. He dared me to ask you out. So truth is, when you left my house THAT was when realized I liked you."
At first I couldn't speak. He had to be lying. "Liam, please tell me...."
"No. That's the truth. Just another one of my great little secrets I guess. So...this is good bye?" I saw the tears in his eyes. I didn't reply. I was to stunned. Liam took a shaky breath and walked out of the room.
"Yep. No more secrets." I muttered.
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...well vote if you want to see what happens next. And comment with the answers to this.
#1.) Do you think Raines has a secret?
#2.) Do you think that was really Liam's last secret?
#3.) What do you think is going to happen?
#4.) What do you think Harry will make of the break up?
#5.) Do you think Liam will still try out for X-Factor now?
Now.....for the most important question..
#6.) Do you like pie?