I looked up at him. His face was soft and full of confusion. I look quickly down and wiped some more tears from my face.
“What happened? How come you aren’t at work? Were you crying?” He asked as one hundred questions seemed to slide out of his mouth in a minute.
I shook my head and kept my face down. I avoided his questioning, thinking about what just happened. I sensed him sitting beside me, scooting closer. My heart started to beat quickly as I felt his hand on my knee. I took my hands from my face and wiped all of my tears with my palms until I felt no more water. I sat up straight and turned to face him.
“W-W-What do you want?” I asked, trembling over my words.
“I wanted to know how you were. You looked upset.” He said, moving a strand of my hair from my face.
I snatched his hand away from my face and slid to the right.
“I just wanted to know what was wrong.”
“Well, stay out of it. You’ve done enough as it is. Now just leave me alone.”
He sighed and slid closer to me.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I told you, I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” I rolled my eyes and clenched my fists.
“Why do you care? Wasn’t I just something to fuck? You know, men like you don’t care about women like me.” I said, re-wording Mr. Ross’ sentiments.
He looked at me for a minute and then his eyes roamed around to see if anyone was beside us, listening to our conversation.
“What? Wait-where-where would you get that idea from?” He asked, examining me closely.
“You’re friend, you know, my boss.” I said sarcastically.
“Wh-wh-why would he say that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe he thought I was some easy fuck like you did.”
He looked at me strangely and then I felt him grip my hands into his.
“Do you wanna talk about this somewhere else—in private?” He asked.
“No, I’m not going anywhere with you.” He nodded as if he understood and stood up.
He stood in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You do know that the next bus is coming around, maybe 6 p.m., right?”
“I know.” I nodded.
“So, you’re willing to stay here for the next-“He looked down at his watch to calculate mentally the time.
“The next 5 hours, right?” He continued slowly.
I frowned at how right he was. In my mind, I was going a mile a minute, thinking of ways to get me out of this situation. I sighed, standing up as a way to agree. He nodded and I followed him into his car. We got inside and sat there—silence taking over the car beside the light sounds of the air conditioning. I watched as he went through roads only to find a secluded parking lot for us to talk.
“So, what happened?” He finally said.
I chuckled at his perceived naivety.
“Right? As if you didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what? Mike, what are you talking about?” He asked, his face matching his confused tone.
“Your friend offered me a job position—but only if I slept with him.” I said.
“Ryan did what?”
“You heard me. I asked him if I can switch to part-time so I could focus on school and then he offered me a position and then kissed me.”
“What did you do?” He asked, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles changed colors.
“What do you mean, what did I do? I didn’t do anything.” I said in anger.
“I mean, what did you do after he kissed you?”
“I stepped back and then he told me some racially insensitive things to me. Things like how women like me are lucky to be deemed attractive from men like him and then tried to kiss me again. So, I slapped him and quit.”
I watched as his face turned red in anger, squeezing his steering wheel for life.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He said, removing his hands from the wheel and looking at me.
“Really? You’re sorry?” I asked, getting angrier again.
“Yes, I’m sorry. You should’ve never have to have gone through that.”
“Whatever.” I simply said.
“What-you don’t think I had anything to do with this, don’t you?” He said incrediously.
“So, we’re not going to explain you magically popping out of nowhere, right?”
“Listen, I’m here for a meeting, not what you think it I’m here for.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you?” I asked.
“Yeah, you are. You’ve known me for three years—yes, I’ve had some faults but you know I would never do this.”
“How am I supposed to know? For three years, what was I really? Was I just some fetish you had? Something you white men can just brag about—you know, sleeping with a black girl.”
“You’re kidding me, right? I am nothing like other white men.”
I simply chuckled at him, rolling my eyes.
“If you were a fetish, trust me—you wouldn’t last three years.”
“I wasn’t just a good fuck, right?”
He sighed, sitting back into his chair.
“I don’t know what Ryan thinks—or believes, but I don’t see you in that way. I actually did love you and I still do.”
“You know what? Can I leave please?” I asked, gripping the door handle.
“And how are you going home?”
“My boyfriend will pick me up.” I quickly blurted out.
“Boyfriend?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised.
“Yes, boyfriend. In fact, I’ll call him right now.” I said, quickly pulling out my phone.
I dialed Chris’ cell phone number and put it to my ear. The sound of a beep invaded my ears as I finally realized a problem. “Shit.” I muttered under my breath. I hung up and put the phone back into my purse.
“Problem?” James asked, a small grin popping from the sides of his mouth.
I glared at him, turning red in the face.
“No, he just isn’t picking up. I forgot that he’s in meetings all day.” I said as a matter-of-factly.
“Oh really? A lawyer, I assume?”
“No, a psychiatrist.”
“Interesting.” He said, absorbing it all in.
I sighed in embarrassment and slid down into my seat, letting my grip on the door go.
“You know what, just drop me off at 71st and West.” I said, facing out the passenger window while I folded my arms over my chest.
“You live there?” He asked with his eyebrow going up.
“No, but I’d rather take a cab than you knowing where I live.”
“But-“
“Can you just go please?!” I asked, irritated.
I felt his eyes on me for while until I heard him mumble something and start his engine.
James’ POV
I stopped the car at 71st and West like she asked. She immeadiately opened the door and stepped out, slammiing the door behind her. She didn’t even say anything to me or anything. I sighed, laying my head down into my steering wheel. I didn’t get up until the sound of horns blaring my ears from other cars was when I realized it was time for me to leave. I sighed, restarting my engine and driving off.
I still had my meeting at Jonathan-Andrews to attend to. I quickly drove off. By the time I got there, I bypassed the greeting receptionist and entered the elevators. I kept pressing on the 12th floor button until the doors finally closed and went up. When I reached the floor, I quickly walked into Ryan’s office. I bursted through the door, only to see him sitting at his desk, reading some documents. He looked up at me and smiled, standing up and walking over to me.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“What do you mean, what did I do?” He asked, walking over to the door behind me and closing it.
“I just saw Michael and she told me what you did.”
“And?” He said nonchalantly, shrugging for emphasis.
“And, what the hell are you doing, hitting on her?!” I said, annoyed.
“What? I thought you wanted this?”
“No, I wanted for you to give her the job, not sleep with you.”
“And? Don’t act like you’ve never fucked your secretaries. I’m just giving her what she wanted. A women like her sees a successful man and will do anything in her power to get a piece. It’s a win-win situation.”
“No, it’s not. She doesn’t even want you.”
He paused for a minute before chuckling lowly.
“And you’re defending her?” He asked before shaking his head in disbelief.
“You fell for her, didn’t you? What would your mother say?” He said, shaking his head in disappointment.
“Wait a minute-you didn’t bring her to meet her, didn’t you? He asked.
He started to laugh uncontrollably as I gave him a hard stare.
“Let me re-educate you. Women like her are below us.” He added.
“Below us?” I asked.
“Yes, below us. Women like her are good to fuck—and sometimes date, but never bring them around the family and you certainly don’t marry them.”
I clenched my jaw and crushed my fists into tight balls. My breathing became slower and heavier. One. Two. Three. Four.
“It’s okay, James. I know what you’re going through. Most white men go through an ‘exotic’ phase. It’s okay to try something different—believe me, I did. But, once you get it all our of your system and step into reality, you’ll marry a white woman.”
Five. Six. Seven. Eight.
“Is that why you aren’t married? You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“No and yes I do. Once you get out of this phase and realize that she never loved you, the better you’ll be. Women like her only see us as paychecks—a come-up. She probably sees you as someone to rescue her out of the ghetto or something. She, like many women like her, sees a rich white man as a way of refuge. Nothing more and nothing less. We, as men, take advantage of the situation and get what we want in the end.”
Nine.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Am I? Please explain the scenario of an older, successful lawyer being with some broke bitch, barely in her twenties—someone who’s also interested in pursuing a career in law at that.”
“Don’t call her a ‘bitch’. Listen, I don’t know what kind of fucked up experience you’ve had with women from other races, but she’s not like that. She actually loved me.”
“Is that why she has a boyfriend? Guess what? It’s not you.” He replied before having a dark laugh.
He walked closer to me and moved into me.
“I wonder what her boyfriend is like. Probably white and rich. Maybe a lawyer—or better yet—a doctor.”
“She’s probably amazing in the sack too. I’m not going to lie, I would love to know too. How is she? Is she dominant or submissive? You know what they say about black girls-“
Ten. I took my hands and pushed him across the face. I watched in amusement as he fell backwards and laid on the ground. I looked down at him who was struggling to sit up. He held his cheek as the crimson color of his blood fall down both of his nose and mouth.
“What the hell is wrong with you?! I could have you arrested for battery!” He said while rubbing his nose.
“Fine. I’ll file a sexual harrassment suit against you drawn faster than you could file for a police report.” I said, confidently knowing that he isn’t going to do anything.
He said nothing, only laying back down as he rubbed his face. I smiled, turning on my heels to leave his office while he tended to his face.