Psychological Affairs

By conflictedfeelings

19.8K 260 19

Psychology [sahy-kol-uh-jee] noun; plural: the study of the brain, mind, and behavior "I slid my back down t... More

Chapter One: Saturday, September 1st, 2007
Chapter Two: September 2nd, 2007
Chapter Three: Monday, November 20th, 2006
Chapter Four: Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
Chapter Five: Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
Chapter Six: Friday, November 2nd, 2007
Chapter Seven: Friday, November 9th, 2007
Chapter Eight: Saturday, November 10th, 2007
Chapter Nine: Monday, November 12th, 2007
Chapter Ten: Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
Chapter Eleven: Friday, November 30th, 2007
Chapter Twelve: Saturday, December 1st, 2007
Chapter Thirteen: Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
Chapter Fourteen: Friday, January 18th, 2008
Chapter Fifteen: Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
Chapter Sixteen: Monday, June 30th, 2008
Chapter Seventeen: Friday, April 20th, 2012/ A New Day
Chapter Eighteen: Saturday, July 19th, 2008 *A Flashback from London*
Chapter Nineteen: Dinner Date
Chapter Twenty: Move
Chapter Twenty-One: I'm Sorry
Chapter Twenty-Two: Reason
Chapter Twenty-Three: Disgusted
Chapter Twenty-Four: Happy Birthday
Chapter Twenty-Five: Hangover
Chapter Twenty-Six: Make It Up
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Chapter Twenty-Nine: "Off"
Chapter Thirty: Work
Chapter Thirty-One: Lip-Biting
Chapter Thirty-Two: Medication
Chapter Thirty-Three: Working
Chapter Thirty-Four: May 2nd, 1992
Chapter Thirty-Five: Six Years Old
Chapter Thirty-Six: Empty
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Racially Offensive
Chapter Thirty-Eight: I Love You
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Meet The Family
Chapter Forty: Welcome To Law School
Chapter Forty-One: Not In The Mood
Chapter Forty-Two: Hate
Chapter Forty-Three: Happy Birthday Mike PART ONE
Chapter Forty-Four: Happy Birthday Mike Part Two
Chapter Forty-Five: Jealousy
Chapter Forty-Six: Thanks(Givings)
Chapter Forty-Seven: Receptions, Deceptions
Chapter Forty-Eight: Pushed To The Limit
Chapter Forty-Nine: Apologies and Excuses
Chapter Fifty: Surprises
Chapter Fifty-One: Turmoil
Chapter Fifty-Two: Hmm...
Chapter Fifty-Three: NPD
Chapter Fifty-Four: Misunderstandings
Chapter Fifty-Four; Part Two: Misunderstandings
Chapter Fifty-Four; Part Three: Misunderstandings
Chapter Fifty-Five: Hurt and Deceived
Chapter Fifty-Six: Ignoring
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Over
Chapter Fifty-Eight; Part One: Rekindling
Chapter Fifty-Eight; Part Two: Disagreements
Chapter Fifty-Nine: The Beginning of the End
Chapter Sixty: To Be Continued
To readers:

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Psychiatrist?

304 5 1
By conflictedfeelings

Next Week

I coughed; my mouth almost tasting my own blood

More and more of my blood surrounded my face as I laid in it. My mouth hurt and my gums were screaming. 

“I’m sorry,” “I love you,” “I’ll change,” and “Please forgive me,” were all interchangeable for every blow to the face, heart, and ego I get.

He left me here; to choke on my own stupidity and naivety. You made your bed and now you lay in, literally.

Next Day

The Sun shone her beautiful rays at me, for she knew what I was up to.

I walked into the offices of Peters-Michaels and entered the lobby. I walked up to the secretary, a seemingly Hispanic woman with her hair pulled into a bun. I stopped in front of her and shared a smile.

“Hello.”

She looked up from her papers and smiled.

“Hello.”

“Could you please tell me what floor is a James Francis in?” 

“Yes, he’s on the 12th floor. Would you like for me to notify him?”

“No, I want to surprise him.” I said, clutching onto my purse.

“Sure, ma’am.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” She nodded, getting back into her work.

I walked over to the elevator where it was about to close. I was going to wait for a new one when a black man stopped it for me at the last second. I flashed him a smile and walked in.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. What floor?” He said, looking at me.

“12th.” 

“The same as me.” He smiled. I looked straight at the door.

He kept his eyes on me, examining me as if I were some new exotic creature.

“You wanna know something? You look a bit like my boss.” I glanced over to him and smiled.

It was clearly I wasn’t interested and he wasn’t about to fight me to speak. By the time I got onto the floor, I stopped the man.

“Could you please tell me where James Francis’ office is located?”

“Sure, just go straight and take a left. You’ll see a huge door.”

“Thank you.” I said. He nodded, going about his way.

I followed his directions, passing the busy office people. I caiught some stares in the process. I saw the door of the office. I sighed and gathered myself together. I pushed open the door without even knocking. I opened it to James doing paperwork at his desk. The office was big, brown, almost like a stereotypical l office.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking-” He said, looking up, obviously irritated. I closed the door behind me, walking up.

“Hi.” I waved.

“Mike?!” He said, getting up from behind his desk.

He leaned on the front edge of his desk, facing me with a smile. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck while he wrapped his around my waist. I leaned in to kiss him. I kissed him so hard and fast.

“Mmmmph..” He said, mumbling between kisses.

I felt him kiss back with the same amount of intensity. He pulled myself to him closer and moved his hands down to my butt. He lowly moaned in response. I bit his lip and kissed him even more. I felt how his energy transfer through me.

“Mmmph…are you trying to do it in my office?” He said, in between kisses.

“No.” I pulled back for a second and kissed him again.

“Mmmmm…is there an anniversary coming up?” 

“No.” I said, shaking my head and then kissing him again.

“Mmmm..did you finally said yes?”

“Nope.” I said, kissing him again.

I snuck my hand into my purse and pulled out a credit card. I slowly removed one hand from his neck and shoved the card to the little space between our chests. I pulled back from the kiss and stepped back. I handed him the card. He looked down at it with confusion in his face and then looked up at me.

“Why are you giving me your credit card?” He asked.

“It’s not mine, it’s yours. You gave it to me.” I said.

“What? It has your name on it.”

“But, you gave it to me. Therefore, I don’t want it.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“It’s over-for good. The only reason why I came here today is to give you back some of your stuff that you gave me.”

“But you just kissed me?”

“That was your last kiss that you’re ever gonna get from me.”

“But, you can’t leave. I thought you took me back.”

“I did, but you will never change. I know that and you know that. All I want to do is move on from you now.”

“Mike, please don’t-” He said, getting up to walk towards me.

“No, we’re finally done.”

“You can’t just leave. I bought you-“

“Yes, I can. You can keep my shit at your house. You can keep the credit cards, you can keep the apartment, you can keep the ring, hell, I would give you these clothes that I’m wearing, but you’d probably like seeing me naked.” I pressed.

“Mike, please don’t do this. Where will you stay? How will you survive?”

“I’m moving in with Angela and I’m finding myself a job even if it’s the smallest. Anything is better than staying with you.” 

“Mike-” He said, holding me closer to him.

He kissed me, using those same tricks to pull me in. I’m done. He gave me the power now. I pushed him away from me and smacked him. I saw the blood rush to his face quickly and his eyes were wild and livid. At first, he held his face where I slapped him and then he raised his arm and lifted it, preparing to slap me. Instead of usually flinching, I raised my eyebrow and giggled.

“Are you really gonna hit me in the workplace?”I taunted.

I moved closer to him to the point where our chests were overlapping eachother. I moved my mouth to his ear.

“I know your colleagues, I’ve met your colleagues, remember? They’re all right outside. If you were to hit me, what would your co-workers think? Would they still put you on this high pedastal like they do now or would they view you as the abusive asshole like I do?” I chuckled into his ear at the thought.

“All you need to do is hit me one last time and I’ll just run out there and cry. I might even show off your hand mark. Do you really want to risk that? All of the lies you’ve said to them, will all be erased from their heads once they see me, don’t you think?” I chuckled again.

I stepped back with my arms around my chest.

“Do it, I dare you.” I winked. 

I knew I was egging him on, but I knew exactly where to hit him. I watched as his face softened and he put his hand down. He simply sighed. He looked up at me with sorrow into his eyes. I reached into my purse and pulled out the ring box. I walked over to him with the ring box in hand and stuck it out for him.

“Mike, don’t-don’t do this. Please, I love you.”

“Nope.” I shook my head.

“Please, Mike. I need you. Without you, I’d die.” He said. That, right there, burned something into me. I shoved the ring into his hands.

“If I were to stay with you, I would be the one dead. Do you know how sick and tired I am of this? I’m tired of making excuses for the countless bruises that you left.”

“Mike-“

“3 years. I gave you 3 years, James. I dedicated myself to this relationship. I tried not to make you mad. I dressed the way you wanted me, I acted the way you wanted. I allowed you to control me. To abuse me. To play with my emotions. James, I just can’t-I just can’t do this anymore.”

“Please-“

“No, I’m done. You haven’t even attempted to stop hitting me and last night was proof of that.”

“I’m sorry. I was just-“

“Just what? Angry? Drunk? Had a bad day? James, you left me on the floor, spitting blood, yesterday. I have a damn bruise on my cheek from where you punched me. Do you know it still hurts everytime I touch my face? I’m tired of having to wear a pound of make up because you got angry. James, I get angry too, but I don’t hit the ones that I love.”

He bit his lip and looked down at the floor. I heard him sigh and then stand. He walked over to me and held me close to him. He leaned in and kissed me. Instead of stopping it, I allowed him to continue, seeing that I it would be his last. Suddenly, the door swung open. We both pulled our lips away from eachother. I rested my arm on his chest and held him close. We both looked at a white man, around James’ age, but with short, blond hair and blue eyes. Steven. 

“Oh, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting anything-” He said, almost pulling the door shut.

“No, that’s okay.” I quickly said.

“You sure? You guys looked like you were in the middle of something.”

“No, not at all. I was just telling him goodbye.” 

I looked up at James, who turned to me and gave him a peck. I headed towards the door. I turned away and waved towards him.

“Bye, James! Bye Steven!” I said.

“Bye Mike!” Steven called from behind.

I walked away from them, smiling. I finally did it.

Chris’ POV

I came back from my lunch break and entered my office. I pushed open the door and saw a woman sitting in one of my chairs. 

“Hello?” I asked.

She turned around and to my surprise, it was Mike. She smiled and stood up. I closed the door behind me. She had on a figure hugging, black dress with black heels on.

“Hey!” She waved.

“Mike, what are you doing here?”

“I came here to see a psychiatrist.”

“Of all psychiatrists, you visit me?” 

“I actually didn’t know you worked here.” She’s lying.

“It says my name on the sites, the directory, and on the door.”

“I knew that-I just didn’t know it was you.” She smirked.

She walked up to me and I held my arms out for her. She hugged me back and kissed me. I pulled her away from me.

“Mike, what are you doing?”

She leaned in to kiss me again. The way her lips brushed against mine made me get a bit excited. It took me awhile to realize that I was at work and not somewhere private. I pulled back away from her.

“Mike, we can’t do this.”

“We’ve done this before.”

“I’m at work.”

“It’s not like that hasn’t stopped you before-“

“Mike, this is my office. We can’t do this.” I emphasized on “can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s against the board rules. I could lose my license if someone caught us.” She looked disappointed.

I walked over to my desk to fetch my contacts list. I heard her footsteps follow me. She took a seat on the chair infront of me. Her head was faced down, probably looking at her phone. 

“Listen, Mike,’ She looked up. ‘I can recommend another doctor. Dr. Fletcher is an excellent psychiatrist-“

“I don’t want another psychiatrist. I want you or else I won’t get help.” I looked at her, studying her every move. She’s still the same Mike I knew.

I sighed. “Mike, I can’t be your psychiatrist. I’ve been physcially, emotionally, and mentally involved with you.”

“So?”

“So, I still care about you-a lot-and you know that too. I know you still care about me too. If I were to be your psychiatrist, I would be too emotionally invested in you than my other patients.”

“Then treat me like a regular patient.”

“I-I-I can’t do it. It’s not that simple. I can’t just treat you like a stranger. You and I had a history together. I know your story, your past, and you in general. Thing is, I’d give you special treatment and that is something that is frowned upon.”

“Oh, I see.” She bit her lip.

“I know you’re disappointed, but I could, however, just talk to you. Not as a psychiatrist because I can’t prescribe you medication or anything.”

“You mean, as a friend?” Great, I’m in the friend zone now.

“Yeah, as a friend.” I forced a smile.

I saw her smile, something I’ve always loved. She made me okay with the fact that I’m in the friend zone now. I matched her smile. I finally sat down in my seat without my eyes leaving her.

“So, how’d you get in here?” I asked.

“What do you mean how?” She questioned.

“I mean, how did you get inside my office. How’d you even get past my secretary?”

“I asked where your office was.Your secretary was away, so I slipped inside your office to surprise you.”

“Mmmhmm..did you have an appointment?”

“Nope.” She simply shook her head. I smirked at that.

“How’s your mom?” She asked.

“Fine.”

“Is she still visiting hospitals and stuff?”

“Yep. How’d you know?” My eyebrow raised.

“Because, she used to do that for me. Every Sunday, she’s visit me and send me cookies and stuff at the hospital. She actually talked to me, like a human being, and not a sick person. The same with Alex.” She smiled to herself.

“No wonder you know eachother.”

“She never told you about me?”

“She did, vaguely. She’d talk about a Michael that she visited at the hospital, but never mentioned which hospital or if Michael was an actual girl.”

“You never suspected it was me?”

“Not many females are named Michael. I just assumed it was a boy. Plus, Sundays were my day offs, remember?” She nodded.

“I remember. What’d you do on your day offs?”

“Mostly sleep, go to church, play basketball with the guys, and family dinner.” 

“It must’ve sucked working from 7-11 with crazy people and only have one day to yourself.”

“It did, but I met you, didn’t I?” I winked.

“Ha, ha, ha. Don’t try to flatter me, Dr. Brown. You’re still not off the hook, not just yet anyways.”

“Mike, I know you’re still angry, but you need to stop holding all this anger in. I told you the truth. I tried to make it better-“

“By sleeping with me? Been there, done that, remember?”

“I know, but I wanted to make you feel the way that I feel for you. Mike, I really do care for you. I’ve never stopped caring for you-ever. You’ve been on my mind for the past 5 years. I can’t just shake you from my memory. I still have a picture of you from your 16th birthday.” Her eyebrow raised.

“Yep, it’s at my house. I honestly thought I’d never see you again.” I added. She took a deep breath.

“Fine, I forgive you. I don’t, however, want to date though. I just want to take this friendship slow.” She said, emphasizing on the last word.

I clenched my jaw and balled my hands into a fist. She has no idea how much feelings I have towards her.

“Fine.” I said. She flashed me a smile that I couldn’t help but repay back. 

A knock on the door appeared. The door slowly opened to my secretary, Lisa. 

“Dr. Brown, you have a meeting in 10 minutes. Oh-you’re with a patient-sorry-“

“I’m not a patient. I’m his friend.” Mike quickly said.

“I’ll be there. Thank you.” I said, gathering my papers.

Mike stood up from her seat. She walked over to me, stretching her arms for a hug. I hugged her back. I hugged her back, smelling the scent of vanilla and coconuts. 

“Bye Chris!” She said in my ear.

“Bye Mike!” I said.

She pulled away from me and turned to walk away. She waved to Lisa before leaving the room. I watched as she walked out of my office.

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