Chapter 45
Tyler's POV
My stomach twisted as those words left her mouth and I reached out for her but she backed away. "Listen to me," I said.
"Yes or no, Tyler. Did you or didn't you do it?" her voice trembled. I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say, and scrutinised her face. Her lower lip quivered, eyes glued to me, and she had her fists balled by her sides. "Answer me, please!" she shouted, desperation clear in her voice.
"Just hear me out first," I stepped forward and clutched her hands. She pushed me back, releasing herself from my hold.
"No. You answer me first or I'm leaving."
I bit my lip, sighing. Well, I had no other choice. "Fine, I shot Sawyer Collins. Is that what you wanted to hear?" I snapped. It stung every time I thought about that, actually bringing the words to my lips was almost unbearable. I felt like a monster.
"It wasn't, actually," she looked away. How did she even know? And how long had she known for, hiding it from me? I moved toward her again but she jumped back, holding her hands out. "Don't."
"Arissa, don't shut me out. Please," I said. She remained in her position, fear masking every inch of her face. "You must think I'm a monster but I promise you I had no other option. I'm no murderer, Arissa. You know that. Sit down, let me explain."
Slowly, her arms found their way back to her sides and she sat on the edge of the sofa, nervously peeling at the skin around her short nails. "I know you're not, it's just so much to take in. I never really believed it all until now."
I crouched down in front of her, covering her hands with my own. "There's not a day that goes by where I don't regret it. If I could take it all back, I would. I had nothing personal against the guy," I said.
She nodded, squeezing my hand. "What happened, Tyler?" she stared into my eyes, her expression saying that she still didn't believe I was capable of taking a life.
I sucked in a deep breath, then exhaled, unprepared to speak about this out loud. I had never, ever, talked about it. It was a closed chapter, something that was buried along with Sawyer, and I had never expected it to be revisited five years later. "After Dad left and Mum became a full-time alcoholic, all the responsibility was automatically loaded onto my shoulders. We were living off benefits and half of it was spent on Mum's booze and fags, with a small amount being left for me and Heidi. I used to blame my dad for everything, defending Mum's behaviour and thinking I had to provide for the family. But I was just a stupid little kid.
"I hated how my little sister cried over not being able to buy into all the new trends and getting bullied because of it, and how we couldn't even afford to go on school trips, so I decided enough was enough. I ventured into the areas kids were always told to stay away from and that's where I met Jake.
"He was around twenty then and everyone seemed to love him. I thought he was the coolest guy ever, aspiring to be just like him. He was quite fond of me too and took me under his wing. I started dealing for him— nobody would suspect a thirteen year old child, and I was pretty good at it, bringing in lots of money."
I looked up at Arissa, wondering if she was still tuned in and there she was, intently listening to me. I could hear her soft breathing, focusing on it until she nudged me to continue.
"So that went on for about a year and even though he had shown me how to use a gun on several occasions, he tended to keep me away from the violence. Then one day another gang attacked us on the street and a fight broke out. I had no idea why because we hadn't provoked them but it was crazy. Jake told me to hide but tossed me a gun for security and I followed his orders, but not before Sawyer found me. I remember his gun pointing right at me when one of Jake's guys, Barry, knocked him aside. He quickly got his stance back and shot Barry dead, so I did what I had to do and shot him."
A cloak of silence fell over the room and just when I saw Arissa open her mouth to speak, I stopped her. "I know," I said. "I know I should have made a run for it but I panicked. I found ending him and saving my life easier than running like a coward. Although, now I think shooting him was a lot more cowardly."
"I had no idea how hard things were for you. You were just a kid," she said. I looked at her strangely.
"I just told you how I shot someone and that's what you say?"
She smiled, pulling me up to sit beside her. "You just told me how you defended yourself and most people in your position would do that. It just comes down to the fight-or-flight response, and you, Tyler, I believe are a fighter."
I shook my head unbelievably. "How did I get so lucky? I don't deserve you, Arissa."
Her cheeks turned red and she gave a nervous laugh, "that's not true. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," she muttered, being ridiculous.
I was still curious to know how she knew and on asking, she informed me that Daniel had found out. She described their conversation and said she would tell him to keep it hidden, not wanting to risk me being jailed. However, I told her not to. I would testify, I would tell them it was self-defence and then the judge could decide whether to let me go or not. Lies and guilt were things I didn't want to pull along with me into my future. I needed a fresh, clean slate, without having to look behind my back every step of the way.
"So that's why Gabriel did it; revenge," she stated, shaking her head. "If you hadn't pulled through, I'd probably end up in a jail cell too."
I laughed, mockingly holding my hand over my chest in shock. "Oh, really? Sweet little Arissa would never," I gasped.
Rolling her eyes, she said, "I would in this case."
I slumped back against the sofa, folding an arm behind my head as I thought about what Arissa said regarding Gabriel's motive.
Revenge. It was a nasty thing, no doubt, leading people to do things they would usually never even bring to mind. But did it really make him shoot me? Why was I being drawn away from him and towards Jake, then?
"I don't think Gabriel did it," I said. "I really don't. It's too much of a coincidence that I went there for Jake, but conveniently got shot at the party by a different guy who hates me. It's the perfect plan, right? Easily shifting the blame from one person to another?"
She tucked her bottom lip in, thinking deeply. "It makes sense," she said after a minute. "But Zach said—"
"Zach's a liar," I interjected, surprising her. "I don't understand why you trust him so much. He works for Jake, remember? Right tosser, he is."
She frowned. "He's the only reason I found you."
"That doesn't prove anything," I huffed. "Tell me, why exactly does he think it's Gabriel?"
She gulped. "He said he knew something wasn't right when you went to Gabriel's house."
"Bullshit!" I exclaimed, standing up. "Nobody knows what happened between me and Sawyer, and I didn't even know Gabriel was his brother until he told me himself!"
"Oh," she said. I whipped back so I could see her and the corners of her mouth were still turned down into a frown. She spoke again, "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to believe him so easily."
"Don't apologise," I told her. "It isn't your fault that you're too nice," I laughed. "But I do really need to talk to him."
"I can arrange that," she quickly said, standing up too. "I'll call him now." She pulled her phone out and turned away to walk out of the room.
"Wait," I said, holding her arm and tugging her back. "Are you sure you're okay with everything I told you? You took it so easily and I don't want you to feel like you have to say it's fine. Tell me if—"
"Tyler, stop," Arissa interrupted, cupping my face. "I took it easily because I know you and I love you, plus it was self-defence and you didn't purposely do it." Then, standing on her tip-toes and drawing me closer, she rested her forehead on mine and closed her eyes. "Besides, you'll need to do more than that to scare me away," she pulled away and winked, leaving me with my eyebrows raised and a grin on my face as she sauntered out of the room.
-
Approximately ten minutes had passed since Arissa left the room and Keith and Laura were the company I was left with. Quite the uncomfortable atmosphere had settled between us, with any conversation they tried to start ending with a short answer from me. I wasn't purposely doing it, I just didn't have anything to say to them.
I knew Keith was making an effort and had probably already gotten through to Heidi, but I still felt a twinge of betrayal every time I saw him happy with his new family, thinking of how he turned his back on us. I didn't believe we could ever reach the stage in our relationship that he wanted, purely because he had missed our entire childhood and those were, and would remain, simply void spaces.
I leaned forward to reach for the television remote control and Laura quickly got up. "No, you leave that, it'll be easier if I get it for you!" she said patronisingly.
I held up my hand, stopping her. "Look, thanks and everything but you don't need to do all this for me. I can manage." I picked up the remote control and smiled. "See?"
The sound of the front door opening and closing distracted us and a few seconds later Heidi walked into the room. "Tyler!" she exclaimed, leaping forward to give me a hug.
"Hey, kiddo," I gave her hair a ruffle. "How was college?"
"Good," she shrugged. "Boring, actually."
Although she had an equal part in hiding her relationship from me, I wasn't as mad at her. As soon as I woke up and met her, I seemed to be over it already. The next step was to do the same with Alec; after all, I had to accept their relationship sooner or later. Plus, he was my best mate.
Arissa entered the room and sat next to me, resting a hand on my lap. "He said he'll see you in half an hour," she said. I smiled, nodding, and decided this was the best time to make my announcement.
"Arissa and I are going to stay at the cabin," I said. My home didn't feel like home anymore and the place I visited a few times a year felt more like my own. Honestly, it was like my space and privacy had been invaded here and even though Laura was behaving differently, it didn't change much for me.
"We are?" Arissa whispered to me.
"Oh," Keith said. "Is something wrong?"
"No, I just prefer it there."
"When are you leaving?" he asked.
"Now," I said. Surprised was an understatement when describing the look on Arissa's face. "Do you want to come with us?" I asked my sister. I didn't want to leave her here feeling uncomfortable or left out; she was always welcome at the cabin.
"I'm good," she smiled.
Leaving everyone looking confused, I went upstairs to shove anything I needed in a bag and came back down within ten minutes, ready to leave. "At least have lunch with us," Laura offered.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."
"Maybe another day," Arissa quickly added, politely smiling at them before we left. "You could have at least told me," she said when we got outside. "It hasn't even been a day, Tyler, you should give them a chance. It seemed to be going well so what happened?" she threw her hands up in the air.
"I don't know! I just felt," I struggled to find the right word. "Suffocated. I felt suffocated and I didn't want to be there anymore. Now can we leave?"
She gave me a long, hard stare, as if trying to read my thoughts or figure something out, before shaking her head and walking with me to the car. Reluctantly, I let her drive, making a mental note to recover even faster so I could have control over driving again.
We made a stop at her house so she could collect her things and I spent this time with her parents, asking if it was even okay for Arissa to be staying over with me. They said "of course" but for some reason, I felt as though they agreed because of my current condition only.
When she was done, it was almost time to meet Zach, who had arranged to meet me at a café not far from Arissa's home. She accompanied me inside and we waited for him. Once again he was late and just as I thought he wasn't going to turn up, I saw his familiar face approach us with coffee in hand. "How are you, man?" he asked, sitting opposite me.
"How about we cut the crap and you tell me who shot me?"
His face became serious all of a sudden. "You already know that," he said, shifting his gaze to Arissa then back to me. "What, is nobody keeping you informed on your own case?" he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.
"Quit acting smart and give me the truth. Gabriel didn't do it, and the bullshit story about you 'knowing something wasn't right' is exactly that, bull-shit," I emphasised the last words. "I never knew Sawyer even had a brother until that night and there were never any problems between me and Gabriel, so you couldn't possibly have suspected that he would harm me."
"I have to say, you're not as dumb as you look," he sniggered. "I didn't think—"
"Enough," Arissa cut in. "Now that we've established that it wasn't Gabriel, just admit it was Jake. I suspected him from the beginning but you led me to believe otherwise and now I find out I was a fool to listen to you. Why did you lie?"
He leaned back in his seat, looking around every once in a while. I had noticed him doing it as soon as he set foot in this place. Was someone here? Was he waiting for somebody?
"I'll be honest with you," he said, moving in towards us. I found myself leaning forward too. "Just like you have people to protect, I do as well. You may have gotten me to speak up previously but this time, my lips are completely sealed. Please don't bother me again," he stood up, wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin before setting it back down. "It won't be of any use, anyway."
"Zach, wait!" Arissa called after him. He halted. "Gabriel will be released but how can you let that guilty man, Jake, walk free? You're the only evidence we have."
He put his hands on her shoulders, a truly sympathetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Arissa. I wish I could help but I can't. I hope you find another way."
This time when he walked away, she let him go.
-
Arissa's POV
"I need to drop by at the police station," was the first thing Tyler said when we sat in the car.
"Tyler, you just got out of the hospital today, you need to rest! We can go tomorrow," I told him, starting the car.
"We can go today, too. Gabriel doesn't deserve to be in that jail cell so why leave him there?" He sighed, "I promise it won't take long."
So in the end, Tyler's wish was granted. I drove to the police station, had another awkward encounter with Daniel and witnessed Tyler drop all charges against Gabriel, seeing pure delight on his face when he walked out of his cell without handcuffs.
I stayed away from Daniel and kept Tyler away too, not wanting my secret to be spilt before I got a chance to reveal it myself. Even though Daniel promised he wouldn't tell when he came to Tyler's house earlier, I couldn't help but feel nervous around him.
We headed to the cabin where I actually managed to make us edible food and once we had eaten, it was getting quite late.
The sky was a dark blue colour, clear of stars with the moon faintly visible. We were lying on the bed in silence, hands intertwined as the cold wind from the opened balcony doors swept over our bodies. This moment made me appreciate the simpler things in life as I realised how much I had missed it. It felt good— no, amazing— to be reunited with Tyler at a place where some beautiful memories had been created. A few weeks ago, I had lost all hope of ever having these precious moments again. Now, it was like the opportunity for them to be made never left.
I freed my hand from his hold and propped myself up on both elbows, grinning at him. "You can't put it off any longer," I laughed, sliding off the bed and padding over to the wardrobe to retrieve the First Aid kit. I walked back to the bed and sat beside him cross-legged, carefully lifting his t-shirt up and over his head.
He groaned. "Usually I would love for you to take off my t-shirt but not today."
I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour and pulled on the plastic gloves I had been instructed to wear whenever dealing with his wound. Then I slowly peeled back his old dressing, dropping it into a disposable bag to prevent possible infection from spreading. "Did that hurt?" I bit my lip in worry.
"No more than yesterday."
"Well, at least that's a good sign." The redness and swelling seemed to be lessening, with the pain apparently not increasing either.
I cleaned the wound and applied antiseptic cream to keep the area moist, then placed the dressing on top with the medical tape keeping it secure on all sides. "And... we're done," I clapped my hands, smiling.
He let out a breath of relief, pulling me onto his bare chest. "You know, strangely enough, it hurt way less when you did it," he said. I moved my head onto his shoulder, wanting to steer clear of his wound.
"Is that so?"
"Mhm, I think you should do it all the time." He placed his hand beneath my chin to make me look up, leaning down so he could place a deep kiss on my lips, a kiss I had been longing for.
-
I woke up wrapped in Tyler's arms, still feeling super tired. Once my eyes adjusted to the room, I turned my vision to the clock and saw that it was only 3:37am. No wonder I was still so sleepy. I almost drifted back to sleep when a strange, unfamiliar scent travelled to my nose, instantly jolting me awake. Wide awake.
I threw the duvet off of my body and pushed my feet into my slippers, noticing a little flicker out of the window. Stepping out onto the balcony, I was able to get a clear view of what I could smell.
It was smoke; smoke from a fire that had been lit on the patio and was slowly but surely travelling to the wooden cabin we were currently occupying.
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