Next morning, I reached the mansion as per my usual time of nine. In the woods, his message had said. Not knowing what exactly he meant, I went to the studio like any other day. The place had been cleaned of its yesterday's mess. There was no sign of what had happened last night. It was no longer stinking of whiskey, there were no drops of blood on the floor and the fallen painting was also not to be seen.
I stood at the center trying to remember all that happened, wondering who had cleaned it all. It was only yesterday when he had told me to get lost, that I was not worthy of his brush. My morning excitement seem to be leaving me as I thought of the hateful words he had thrown at me in fits of rage. What would have happened had he not hurt himself on that glass piece?
Thankfully, I would never find out.
Nor was I allowed more time to brood over all miss-happenings of the day before as I saw Noberto walk in the room. He was in another black shirt with black jeans. What was it with the colour black, I thought but didn't say a word.
He came over to me and said, "Let's start. I like your idea of painting in the woods." He looked quite excited about the whole thing. I, on the other hand, was a different story all together. This was not my idea. At least it wasn't one which I wanted him to take up so eagerly.
"No, this wasn't what I meant. I didn't-", I tried but was cut in between.
"Don't worry. It is a great suggestion. I wonder why I didn't think about it earlier. I guess the place needed a model suited to its essence, someone as natural as the surroundings." He was talking to me but appeared to have drifted to his musings. Before I could understand whether he was speaking to me, he continued.
"Nonetheless, let us get going. I don't want to miss the light," he said while picking up his paints, brushes, canvas and the easel. There were too many things but he didn't show any discomfort. He kept walking towards the door. I wanted to help but more than that, I wanted this to stop. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut or come up with some cooked up story to his question last night, I cursed myself. All this was happening because my stupid little brain didn't know what to do when.
My feet refused to move after him. I was making this more and more difficult. It was a disaster as it is with me almost losing my job yesterday. It took all my strengths to strip to my birthday suit and pose for him. But that wasn't enough. I had to go ahead and put my foot in my mouth by telling him of those bizarre ideas!
Now, how would I stand naked out in open for all and sundry to watch? What a wonderful show for them and a nightmare for me!
My futile brain kept coming up with further ridiculous imaginations which were not helping the situation, rather only causing more and more cold feet.
He reached the door and suddenly realized I was not following him. Still loaded with all his stuff, he turned around and asked,
"Aren't you coming?"
"No. Yes. I mean, yes, I am coming." My feet sprang into action at his voice.
Seeing me moving, he turned out and walked out. Going towards the kitchen, he took a small door which led to another long corridor. At the end of the corridor was another door. He opened it to be welcomed by a wisp of fresh crispy air. He looked back at me and stepped out. Reluctantly, I followed him out and saw the large greenery all around.
Before long, we were away from the main mansion and following a thin trail in the woods. I had not seen this path yesterday as we were in the car and had taken some other road. This seem to be some kind of a short cut and within few minutes of walking, we had reached the same clearing where he had stopped the car yesterday.
The water was as beautiful as yesterday with sun shining brightly creating beautiful reflection of the trees and greenery in the water. He went all the way to the water and then stopped few meters away. Dropping his stuff on the ground, he went around the place looking for the best place to set up his stuff and may be the best view for his painting.
All this while I was struggling to keep it together. I was holding both my hands around my body as if holding myself. He seem to be lost in his thoughts, probably setting up the painting in his mind. He was so engrossed, that I couldn't bring myself to interrupt him.
I was lost in my own trepidations. I could experience how a beautiful scenery turns into a horrendous view when your timing is bad. All its beauty was lost on me. Yesterday what seemed like a hidden treasure had now become a bone of contention for me.
I was still lost when he called out my name. I saw he had set up the easel with the canvas and was all set to start. I went up to him and stopped in front of him. He was telling me what pose would suit the best, how the light would favour the colours but I wasn't listening. Knowing the delaying is only going to add on to my problem, I decided I had to speak now.
"I am..I'm sorry but I cannot do this." There, I said it.
He turned around to face me, "What?"
"I didn't mean to give you this idea. I mean, I cannot do it here. I mean, I cannot pose for your painting here. I mean, please don't get me wrong. I mean-," I was in full blabbering mode because there was no other way to get it out. But I had pushed it too far.
"Will you stop with your 'I mean' tirade? What is your problem?" His bark shut me up but his voice had turned softer almost immediately. He could see something bugging me and his tone said he wanted it corrected.
"I..I cannot pose nude here. Out in the open. I don't want to sound difficult or create any problem for you but this," I said pushing my hand all around me. "This is too much to ask. How can I stand here naked for the world to watch?"
I explained to him while trying not to sound like a bitch throwing tantrums. These were real issues for me.
"World?" He looked around the vast deserted place all around as if bewildered by my exaggeration.
"I mean-" I immediately stopped myself from going on the 'I mean' trip again. "It's open. People can see."
"But there are no people here. Just you and me. This is my place. All this you see around is part of my estate. It is a covered area with restricted entry. No one is allowed to step on my grounds without my permission and I don't give it so lightly. So you can rest assure, I am not asking you to strip in public and this is as safe as it is inside the house."
He said it with all confidence and pride. But when I looked at his face, I don't why I saw something strange. I couldn't make it out completely, but, was it fear I saw?
He didn't wait to let me read or try to read his thoughts, turning away from me. But almost immediately he came back to me. Coming close to me, he put out a hand to my cheeks. "Trust me, girl. You only have me to see you here."
I don't know if it was supposed to calm my frighten heart, but all it did was set it on a flutter. One which I struggled to control or conquer. I lowered my eyes, trying to turn away from him but he didn't let me. Instead, his hands reached out to my dress, pulling aside the long lapels running down from the collar of my shirt.
"I..I'll do it." I said while moving away from him. I felt a hesitation from him for a second, as if he didn't want me to go, but before I could register it fully, he let me go. I turned aside and started unbuttoning my dress. Being out in open meant my safe little corner, my recluse, was also gone. Slowly, I got out of my clothes and tried to get into the mindless state where nothing he did would affect me.
It was not easy but I was slowly getting it. That was the only way for a girl like me to scrap through this strange job of mine. I had started feeling I was getting there but for these last few days which had disturbed everything.
Out of my clothes, I folded them and kept them under a tree close by. Then I walked back to the pond, waiting for him to tell me what pose he wanted. At times like these, I used to thank my hairs for providing me the much needed cover. They were not enough to cover me up completely but I felt a kind of comfort having them around me, surrounding me, blocking up my sensitive zones from the fierce penetrative eyes.
But this was also temporary. For I knew, he would ask me to tie them up, exposing my already helpless body to his further scrutiny.
"Have you been in love?"
I heard him ask me out of blue. I was not expecting such a question. I was not expecting any question, period.
My inner self tried to scream at me. He had been doing this quite often these days, asking me a question without any context or preamble and I would always be at a complete loss on what to answer him.
This time was no different either. I couldn't understand where this question came from. Honestly, I didn't even know if I knew the answer really. Or even the question because love was something which had not blessed me ever. I had only my father with me and since the time his heath had taken a toll on him, I had been starving for love from that quarters as well.
Fortunately, he didn't wait for my answer. "If love was a person, how do you think that person would look like?"
Another question which floored me completely. "I don't know. I.. I never thought about it," I answered honestly.
He stared at me for a long time. I don't know what was going through his mind or if he wanted to say something but I couldn't look away. Finally, after a long time, he said, "Well, I never thought about it either." Then he went to his canvas and picked up his sketching pencil.
What was that about? I thought. The man was an enigma for me. I would never know what was going inside that head and more than half the times I wouldn't understand what he was talking about. I waited for him to tell me my pose but when he seemed lost in his thoughts, I decided to sit down.
He had told me there was no man around but it was still not easy to stand stark naked under the sun. The sun could see me, so could the clouds, the sky, the trees around, not to forget the glistening water in the pond.
I again smiled to myself at my train of thoughts but then immediately stopped.
I looked up at him apprehensively. No, he wasn't looking at me. Thank God, I prayed silently. I need to stop this habit of thinking and smiling to myself. Yesterday's drama was enough to last me an year and I didn't want to land into another completely avoidable situation like yesterday.
Still thinking to myself, I sat down at the grass where the ground slightly elevated. The small slope just right for me to rest my legs without having to bend them in front of me as if I was covering myself up. This was not under the shade of the tree but the sun was also not harsh today, breathing down gently on my skin. My hairs were flying around in the light wind, so I gathered them together at one side of my face. Holding them there with both my hands, I rested my elbows on my thighs.
"Can you hold that pose?" I heard him say.
Looking up I found him staring at me again. "Like this?" I asked him. He nodded and went back to his canvas. Sitting under the glorious sun, in that natural setting, I watched him paint me on his canvas.
As usual I didn't know what that painting was all about, how I would look on it, whether he would complete it or not. But there was something different about him this morning. I was not able to put my finger on it but there was. A small, almost inaudible, feeble voice was speaking inside me, telling me something had changed.
But what I was thinking about was not what the voice was telling me. Something had changed, I could sense or my sixth sense could sense that. But the bigger question disturbing my mind was I didn't know whether I should be happy because of this change or be worried. How would one decide to welcome a change or avoid it when one didn't even know what it was?
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Dear Lovely Readers,
As promised, here's an early update.
Did you like it? What do you think has changed? Is Melanie right in thinking something has changed or is it just her imagination?
Any suggestions on what do you want to happen next?
I love it when you guys share your views and comments, so don't be stingy. Let me know what you think! And don't forget to vote for the chapter if you like it. Your love & support is the only thing that keeps me writing. So show me your love! Now!
Lots of love to my expressive readers and also to my silent ones (though it would be great if don't remain silent plss)
I'll see you guys, as per our usual update, on Saturday/Sunday. Till then, take care of yourself.
Love,
Anna