Season 1 Episode 9
December 29, 2011
Cassie's POV
Henry, Charlotte, and I are waiting for Jeff. "Where is he?" I asked.
"I don't know. Jeff!!! Come on, you're gonna miss your flight," Henry said while putting his arm around me.
"I'm coming," Jeff said and comes with a mattress on his back. Why? I have no idea. He's mentally unstable.
"What is he-?" Char asked.
"Jeff, what are you doing with that mattress?" Henry asked.
"I taking it on my trip," Jeff answered.
"They're not gonna let you take a mattress on a plane," I say.
"Yeah, you're right," Jeff said and puts the mattress down.
"Maybe I shouldn't go," Jeff said and goes to the crime computer.
"See, I knew it," Henry said.
"Jeff, you can't blow off your cousin's wedding," Char said.
Jeff turns the chair around to face us. "I know but most marriages don't work out. I'll just go to his next one" Jeff said and tried to go back to his room but we stopped him.
"Okay, okay, okay. Just admit that your afraid to leave town cuz you think me, Cassie, Charlotte, and Schwaz can't handle things here without you" Henry said.
"Well, what if there's an emergency?" Jeff asked.
"Then, we'll blow a bubble. Kid Danger and Girl Danger will deal with it," I say then Schwaz comes in.
"Hey, shouldn't you be on your way to the airport?" Schwaz asked Jeff.
"Yes," I say then Henry, Char, and I drag him to the elevator.
"I need my suitcase, BORK" Jeff called then Bork came with a big box and puts it on the floor. Who the fuck-
"Thanks, buddy," Jeff said then gave Bork raw steak. The fuck...? I don't wanna know.
"What's in here?" Henry asked. Oh, so we're just going to gloss over the fact that a big man just came into the room and took a huge piece of raw steak like a dog?
"Stuff I might need like cotton swabs, shampoo, non-cotton swabs. You know what, let's talk about all the different kinds of swabs" Jeff said.
"Stalling," Henry said as he points at Jeff.
"It's only three days," I say as I roll my eyes.
"We can handle it. Go" Charlotte said, pointing at the elevator.
"Ok, alright, after one more hula dance with Laylani," Jeff said.
"No," Henry, Char, and I said in a unison.
"Fine but you two better not let any bad guys get away with crimes while I'm gone," Jeff said to us then tries to pick up the suitcase.
"Wow, too heavy better stay here," Jeff says and tries to leave but Schwaz stops him.
"No, I'll get the antigrave" Schwaz says.
Um, what's an antigrave? I guess it's anti to grave? "Grave" is probably gravity. It's anti to gravity so it makes heavy objects light as it would in space. It just rejects gravity.
"Antigrave?" Char asked.
"Yeah, It's a device that you attach to really heavy things to make it a lot lighter" Jeff explained then Schwaz comes with the antigrave, attaches it to the luggage, and turns it on.
Henry comes to it and picks it up. "Ohh man, it works," Henry said then presses a button and goes flying up with the suitcase.
.....................................
I call Henry in his wis-watch. He gives me a confused look.
"Hey, babe. What's up and why are you in your Girl Danger suit?" He asked.
"There's a robbery going down in the eyeglass store in midtown" I explained.
"I'm on my way," Henry said. I close the wis-watch and head to the glass store.
I come to see Henry say, "Eye don't think so, jerk". I roll my eyes and walk towards him.
"Oh, thank goodness you, Girl Danger and Captain Man are here," The owner said.
"Um, actually Captain Man's at his cousin's wedding in Cleveland" Henry explained.
"Captain Man ain't here?" the robber asked. I didn't answer him.
They turn to the owner. "You just keep making my glasses and those ones better be progressive." the robber said. What kind of robbers are these?
"Hey man, you love your mother?" Henry asked. Why would he ask that? I don't get—
"Yeah," the robber said.
"Then, freeze motherfucker," Henry said. That was lowkey hot and cringey at the same time, you feel me?
"No," the robber said then tried to attack Henry but Hen kicked him in the dick.
"Should've freezed" Henry said. That was so hot, I don't know why. 'Freezed' isn't a word though.
The other robber comes with a leaf blower and Henry and him fight over it till I punch the robber and Henry blows him away with the leaf blower.
Captain Man comes down from the ceiling....what...
"I'm here," Jeff says.
"Captain Man!" the owner said in an exciting tone.
"Captain Man," Henry and I say in a serious tone.
"Just a moment," Jeff says then punches a robber that's ALREADY down.
"There. You're safe now" Jeff says then the owner comes to Jeff. He was safe before you came.
"Thank you, Captain Man. Oh, I gotta go tell my wife what you did" I owner said then left to find his wife.
"But what, what are you doing here?" Henry asked.
"Fighting crime," Jeff said, doing a kicking pose.
"No, you're just here because you don't trust me, Cassie, Charlotte, and Schwaz to handle things by your way," Henry says.
"You don't have my experience," Jeff says.
"I don't have your enormous ego either" I retorted.
"That too," Jeff said. I roll my eyes.
"Egotistical man-child" I mutter.
"We've been doing this job for several months and-" Henry started.
"-we can handle things for three fucking days without you" I finish.
"Oh really, you guys handled this crime?" Jeff said sarcastically.
"Yes, we completely handled this crime," Henry and I said in a unison.
"Yeah, I guess," Jeff said. We give him a look.
"Okay, fine, I'll go," Jeff gives in.
"Good," I say.
"Good," Jeff said.
"No, you're just stalling," I say then the owner and his wife come in.
"Captain Man, this is my wife, Nancy," the owner said.
"Oh, hi," Jeff said, turning around.
"Home-wreaker" I cough.
"Out," Henry said, pointing to the door and Captain Man walked out the door.
...................................
Henry, Charlotte, and I were laughing as we came out of the elevator but once we saw the party we screamed.
"What is going on?" I asked.
"I don't know" Henry answered.
"Come on," Henry said as we walked to Schwaz.
He was jumping on the trampoline but we took him out of the tramp so, we could talk to him.
"Welcome to the party," Schwaz said.
"How could you have a party without Jeff's permission?" Charlotte asked.
"Easy, he's not here," Schwaz said then started laughing. Is he high or drunk?
"You know we promised Jeff we'd be responsible," I say.
"Eh, what's gonna happen?" Schwaz asked. Many things, Schwaz. Many things.
"Anything, you never know what's gonna happen," Char said as she got picked up by Bork.
"Cassie, Henry!" Charlotte called.
"Hey Bork, Charlotte is not a toy. Put her down" Henry ordered.
"Ay, Bork put her down," I say frustrated.
........................................
Henry and I come out from the elevator. We see the big mess and say "The hell?".
"This place looks disgusting," I say as we walk out of the elevator.
We look at Schwaz, sleeping on the trampoline.
"Yeah, so does Schwaz," Henry says. Henry grabs a pizza.
"Hey, Schwaz. Sleep times over" Henry says, while softly hitting Schwaz with the pizza. He wakes up.
"How late did this party go on?" I asked.
"We broke out at about 3:00 a.m." Schwaz said as he rubs his eyes.
"Now listen, you better clean- oh," Henry said, looking at the red emergency alert.
"Oh, shit," I say as Henry and I check the alert.
"How long has that been flashing?" I asked.
"Since 11:37 last night. Damn it, Schwaz!" Henry said popping a balloon that was lying around.
I went to check if someone left a message. "What are you doing?" Henry asked as he looked at what I was doing with a confused look.
"Since no one answered the emergency call, I'm checking to see if someone left a message," I explain.
"You have one new emergency voicemail," the computer voice said. Nooooooooooooo, really? Why am I being a sarcastic bitch to a computer?
I pressed play. "Hello, Captain Man, it's Carlos from Sushi Dushi, there's a guy robbing us right now, he's locking us in the fridge"
"Doesn't the robber's voice sound familiar to you?" I asked.
"Yeah, hey can you cross-check it across the National Voice database?" Henry asked.
"Sure," I said then cross-checked the voice then a pic of Collen and Miley Cyrus appeared.
"Okay, so the robber is either Collen or Miley" Henry jokes. I look at him.
"What?" He asked me, confused at why I was looking at him.
"I just don't get what's so funny about it," I say as I pop a gum on my mouth and Henry does the same.
"Because Miley is a girl and Collen is a dumbass," Henry said then we blew our bubbles and went to the tube.
"Yeah, but what's funny about that?" I said as we both went up the tube.
We came to Collen's house and Henry kicked the door.
"Looks like you're gonna need a door hole repairman, Collen," Henry said as Jeff goes back on the phone. What....? Why does he talk like that?
"Hey, it's Captain Man, Girl Danger, and Kid Danger. Can you come bail me out of jail later?" Collen asked on the phone.
"It's just us, Collen. Captain Man's out of town," Henry said.
"Bro, why'd you have to say that?" I ask him.
"Oh cool, so after you pick up this tuna, you wanna go a movie or something? I heard that the sequel - dude!" Collen says into the phone as Henry takes the phone out of his hand.
"The only movie you're gonna see is the one in jail.......on movie night.......if they even have that," Henry said. Babe...stop, that's embarrassing.
"Just stand up," I said.
"No," Collen said.
I walk to him and say, "I really don't feel like punching anyone right now,"
Collen's phone started ringing. "Oh, that could be my cocaine buyer, give me my phone," Collen said, standing up. Wow, just wow. I roll my eyes at Collen's stupidity.
"Can I?" I ask Henry.
"Please do," Henry said as I kicked Collen in the shin and Henry punched him in the gut. Collen falls down and hits his head on the ground.
(A/N: Word count: 1788 words. bye bitch 🥰✌🏽)