"WHAT?! NO!" I exclaimed with wide eyes.
"You just fell down a ladder, miss, and I think..."
"Just say Gail, and I'm completely fine!"
I showed them that all of my limbs were working, even though I knew I would get some small bruises here and there.
"See? Nothing's wrong! No need for any hospitals!"
Michaela tapped my shoulder and leaned close.
"Errhm... I think maybe you should listen to the dude. If you really are nicely marinated, I think you should check how the roast is."
Both me and Emanuel stared at him.
"What?! I'm speaking metaphorically! You've got a bun in the oven, and it might be...not yeasting properly...after..."
"You..." I said, glaring at her, trying to find a way to tell her the reason why we couldn't go to any hospital or similar things.
If only Michael was here...
"NO HOSPITALS!" I yelled, scaring the crap out of all three of them by my sudden outburst. I was freaking out, and in more ways than one. Firstly, I was scared shit if the two Cubans found out about who we really were. Second, I had no idea how to handle Michaela! She was living in a bubble for herself, and didn't know squat about our situation. And believe me when I say that she was actually the last person on the surface of the Earth, I wanted to tell!
The third reason, Gail... Don't forget the most important reason. You're completely freaking out because you're pregnant and there might be something wrong with the little one.
"FAAAACK...!" I groaned loudly.
"Shit! Are you gonna puke again?!"
Michaela jumped up from her chair, and ran over to a cupboard further away.
"No, dollface! I'm not gonna puke! I just..."
I hesitated when Michaela walked over to Emanuel, and whispered something in his ear, and felt confused when both of them nodded.
"You're scared of hospitals, aren't you?" she said with a frown, and I was just about to object, when something stopped me.
That's actually a good idea, Gail! Pretend that you're terrified of hospitals. Then you don't have to explain everything to Michaela, risking that she would ruin everything.
"N-YES!" I bursted out, almost clapping my hands in relief for the possibility to postpone the reality orientation that eventually had to come.
"Aaawe, sweetie! You don't need to be scared. I'll be there! I'll even hold your hand, even though I really think you should call Mr. Secret Babyfather, and make him step up for his responsibility. You can't just knock someone up and then..."
"IT'S COMPLICATED, OKAY?! Seriously, Michaela! Back off. Just... No hospitals, okay?"
I heard Ennio and Emanuel talking behind us again, and then Emanuel cleared his voice to get my attention.
"We might have a solution for you."
He blushed a little bit, then continued.
"Our veterinarian has got an ultrasound device..."
*******
Later that day, a small, chubby man dressed in a green coat, was knocking on their door. He put a suitcase with stethoscopes, syringes, tubes, bandaids and other necessities a veterenarian needs, on the floor, and a white, oddly shaped box on top of the table, with a probe attached to it. He was talking like a machine gun. But it wasn't bullets that came out of it, it was... Words. Millions of them. And I didn't understand a single one. Luckily, Ennio and Emanuel was there the whole time. Oh, and Michaela too, since she was the... father. But even Emanuel and Ennio seemed to struggle a bit to keep up with the veterenarian, probably because of the medical jargon. Emanuel had given up translating as he spoke, and instead looked like he tried to take mental notes to tell me later. And after about half an hour, and several questions in addition, at the end, the veterinarian left, and I was more anxious than ever.
"I-Is it okay?" I stuttered, barely able to make my voice function. And watching Emanuel slowly sit down in front of me, grabbing my hand, didn't help on my anxiety level at all.
"Gail..."
You're not pregnant! Maybe you never were? It was just a stomach flu, after all. Or maybe you were, but the fall made you... Maybe... Oh, no! Please say our little baby is alright!!
"Your baby is fine. And all the vital signs are good. He kept comparing you to a cow's cyclus, and the measurements of the... Uhm..."
"Fetus?"
"Yes. The measurements of the fetus, was compared to a pig, so it was a bit difficult... Anyway! When did you find out you were pregnant?"
"I... Uhm. Today, actually. Or... Maybe yesterday. That's when Joe said that..."
"Who's Joe?"
My brain was so filled with thoughts and emotions, that I almost pointed at Michaela, who was trying to make Ennio understand something about the way his sleeves were folded.
"Uhm... Just a man... Nevermind. So everything were fine? I'm really pregnant?"
Emanuel smiled and patted my knee.
"Yes, you are, and you're about nine weeks too!"
"NINE WEEKS?! T-that's over two months!"
My head was spinning around which one of Michael's personalities had been with me at the time, but I had absolutely no idea.
Michaela lost interest in trying to learn the old farmer about fashion, and came over to us.
"Aawe, look at you two bonding nicely," she said and winked awkwardly, hinting to Emanuel's hand on my knee. And Emanuel immediately removed it and jumped up, clearly embarrassed, and walked over to his father. Barely a minute after, the two of them left, leaving Michaela and me alone to talk.
"So, when are you gonna tell Daddy?"
She said the last word in a way that made me cringe.
"Michaela..." I sighed, bewildered of what to say or not.
"Diva," she corrected, and I rolled my eyes.
"What are you?"
She blinked a few times in confusion.
"What do you mean, 'what are you'?"
"I mean... Gender? Sexuality? Just... I need to know."
"Gee! Nosy much, are we?"
She squinted at me for a few seconds, but decided to answer.
"I don't know why this is of any importance to your pregnancy that is the main issue here, but I'll play nice. After all, I'm a lady, and ladies..."
I stopped her.
"So you consider yourself as a girl?"
"No." She frowned in disgust.
"No? A boy, then?"
"Neither! I'm a woman!"
I chewed on the insides of my cheeks, while my brain spun circles, trying to proceed our conversation.
"Okay... A woman. You... Are a woman. But have you ever..."
I had to look away from her, because the whole situation felt so insanely awkward, but managed to ask what I needed to know.
"...had sex?"
Michaela gasped dramatically, like I'd learned she always did, even just for small things.
"That's none of your damn business, 'Dr. Phil'! Who I have or have not had sex with, is nothing you should stick your nose into!"
"But I'm not! I just need to know! Because I don't know if I can handle if you..."
"Have fucked around, huh? Like you? But you see? I'm not like you, getting knocked up by some stranger that doesn't give a shit, because I am on the pill, so I can't get pregnant."
I held up my hand to make her stop talking.
"One thing! Do you, or do you not remember having sex with anyone? Like the men you were talking about yesterday?"
Then I swallowed heavily and rubbed my forehead.
"...or the women."
"YES, I CAN!"
NOOOOO.....! Why, Gail?! Why...? This is... Just leave him. This is way too much to handle. And you've got a kid on its way...? Forget it. Just walk out that door and never look back.
Wait!
What are you saying?! You can't do that! Look. If this personality got triggered by wearing your panties, Gail, you just need to make sure that never... EVER... happens again. In fact, you should stop wearing panties at all! Then your problem will be eliminated. Yeah, probably. But another one would get worse! Mr. Jackson... How do you think he will handle you walking around commando all the time, huh? Honestly? Don't even think about trying....!
I sighed loudly.
"What's wrong?" she asked, still quite confused, which probably was a sign that she'd started thinking. Hopefully at least, she did.
"Nothing's wrong. I just got this intense urge to wringe your head off, that's all. Noooothing much."
I let out a long breath through pursed lips and closed my eyes for a bit.
"Hey! Be nice, lady! I was just answering your questions, which, if you must know, I feel is highly embarrassing. And inappropriate!"
"Oh, believe me. I think so too," I mumbled.
"Listen, Diva. I need you to be completely honest with me. Do you remember... I mean really remember having sex with... Other men? Or women, while being... Uhm. The way you are right now?"
She stared at me like I'd grown a third head, and I couldn't really blame her. This was the oddest conversation I'd had in my whole life!
"You're freaking me out..."
"I know, and I'm sorry. But just... Think. Try to recall. Anything? In Milan, as you told me about? That Donatello guy?"
"You've got some nerves insulting a woman like that!"
"Yes, and I'm sorry, I just have to kn..."
But she wasn't talking about herself, she was talking about...
"Her. Name. Is. Donatella. Donatell-A! Versace! What's the matter with you?"
"Uhh...?"
"She's gonna be soooo mad, when I tell her... And by the way, I didn't have sex with her! Not Tyra, Kim or Rihanna either, for that sake. And I'm just not into men!"
"OHTHANKYOUGOD!" I breathed, and sunk back into the couch I was sitting on.
She glared at me, obviously wanting me to explain why I was interrogating her to this degree.
"But why are you one the pill, Diva?"
I just wanted her so badly to understand.
"If you don't have sex with men..."
"For my menstrual cycle, duh!"
That's it, Gail! You need to do it! You need to show her...
"Michaela?"
"Diva," she corrected again.
"Can you please stand up for a moment?"
I grabbed her hand and got up next to her. And reluctantly, she did as I told her to.
"If I told you that you're not what you think you are... What would you say?"
"Then I would say that you're stark raven mad, and even more mad than I already thought you were!"
"Okay. I understand. But if I told you, I have proof to show you I'm right...?"
She blinked a few times, and her eyes darted around at things behind my back, until they returned to mine again.
"Diva? Can you please pull your sweatpants down?"
"You are..." she mumbled.
"JUST DO IT!" I yelled, making her jump a little, and then did as I said.
"What, are you jealous of my underwear or something?"
"I'm not. I'm honestly not. But I need you to take a closer look at yourself, okay?"
"They're pink lace! Really cute too, if I can say it myself."
"But I'm not talking about your underwear! I'm talking about what's inside of it!!"
Michaela blushed tremendously, and I felt pretty hot cheeked myself too. But finally, she did. First a quick glance, and then she looked back up at me. Then her eyes largened, and she looked back down. Then her eyes got even larger and her mouth fell open, not able to form any of the thought she had exploding in her head, into words. Then she looked back down, and let her fingers pull open the hem of her panties. And then first, she finally managed to revive her vocal chords.
"HOLY SHIT! I'M BIG!"
Don't laugh, Gail! This must be a severe shock for her, and you need to be... Uhm... Understanding... And don't... Laugh... Too much.
But I couldn't help it! When she reached down and grabbed herself, looking like she just unwrapped a gift she'd been longing for her whole life, it became impossible to hold it in.
"Do you see this, lady? I'm fucking packed! How the hell did I not know? This is... How is it possible to hide something this size... Like... How?! Did you know about this the whole time? Did you..."
"That's the reason I'm pregnant, Michaela. You're no woman. You're a man! And a hot one too, if I can say so."
"But I... Oh, I knew about the last part. But... WHAT?! YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH ME????"
I exhaled to the point that my lungs hurt, and I dumped back onto the couch. I felt so overwhelmingly tired, so incredible overpowered by fatigue and lack of energy, that I curled up into a ball with my back against Michaela, trying to shut everything out. I didn't want to explain anything more. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to be alone.
"Please leave me alone for a while, Diva," I said silently, when I felt all of my emotions that I had dammed up, were about to burst at once.
"Leave."