"Over reacting? Bakit? Akala mo ba biro 'yung ginawa mong pagpapakamatay ng gabing 'yon? Paano kung wala ako? Paano ka na?"
"It's a long story, Shawn. You will not understand."
"I will, Serene. Try me."
I tore my eyes with his. Filling air in my lungs I gave him a quick glanced. "Don't spoil my excitement, Shawn. Quit your curiosity. And I'm sorry for asking the stupidest question. I've survived because my second life means I need to forget 'bout that."
"Fine." He shifted on the gear stick and stepped on the gas with a scowl on his face.
Oh, a frigging power of mystery. What did I do to myself? The silence between us stretched when we reach the beautiful view of North Gate. I saw the first finished building and remaining undone two. Gusto ko siyang tanungin, pero ang takot sa aking dibdib mula kanina ay nananatiling nakabara sa aking lalamunan. It's making me weak for the first time. All my life no one can make me feel like this. I am spoiled and high as this tower. And now with him, I am backing down.
In short, I didn't enjoy my visitation there. And thank God that he just disappeared for ten minutes then he came back as if nothing happened between us.
"Pupunta tayo ng Salon?" bungad niya sa akin.
I shooed all the weeds of curiosity, webs of distressing spider, and dust of negativity on my mind. I nodded attentively and shifted on my seat. He brought me in a fancy Salon, and I was relieved with this. I asked for a foot massage and nail art.
The gay that I bet the owner of the Salon is lurking with him. At first, I thought they knew each other because he is entertaining him than me. It was given a bunch of reason, plus the fact that Shawn goes along too. But he didn't leave my side, I took that chance to ask him before I sat on my throne.
"First-time ko rito, Serene," sagot niya.
"Puwede ko bang malaman ang name mo, Pogi?"
"Shawn," sagot niya. Lumapit sa salamin at tiningnan ang sarili roon. "Magpapagupit ako."
"What? Why? Sayang naman," korong komento ng bakla at ilang crew.
I looked away, feeling guilty of suggesting something that surely slapped my face, over boarding his private matters. Maybe he had a deep reason why he doesn't cut it, then I appeared from a shady crucial state and suggested him to cut his hair because of nothing.
"It's time to let go of the past," he expressed. He pulled the chair and sat there arrogantly. From the mirror, he looked at me intently.
I choke, flipped my still plain fingernails. What is he saying about? I flinched when the manicurist got something on my toenails.
"Malalim na po, Ma'am."
"Carry on." I looked back with Shawn and saw his eyes close.
What does he mean by letting go of the past? Does he have a painful affair than mine? I bet not, he is still alive while I almost attempted to take my life because of it. He had a normal affection, while I trusted the man I thought only existed in this world. I am very excited when I plotted to escape from my bodyguard. I will finally meet him after three months from Canada. I missed his kisses. His warm arms. His voice and sweet talks. Everything about him, that's why I sake everything just to see him. And then I will saw him fucking a random woman live?
Humilig ako sa upuan at pumikit din. Plano ko pa namang ayain na siyang magpakasal. Imagine a woman will do the proposal, I know I am weird but I really loved him. The love that I gave my whole not living a bit for myself, that's why I am a wreck and desperate. Plus I am pressured because my grandad is in the Hospital since last month. He wanted me to get married before he died. How can I do that? I haven't introduced the man I had in my heart.
Drew is a professional blogger and photographer. He goes around the globe and took photos, I once asked him to stay in Australia with me but he said he hasn't still enjoyed his dream so I let him. I am the same. That reason made me more in love with him. He is holding his dream, he loved his work, and he is also passionate. Then I will witness his dark secret, in the flesh, breathing, and naked eyes.
My plan for us crumbled on my feet, tiny as the sand I can't fix it anymore as it scattered in the air when the wind blew. Mukha akong tanga. If only I can grab any random man and fake an introduction with my grandad. Just assure him that it's just a matter of time. Makikita niya rin ang kanyang apo sa tuhod, kahit pa parang wala na sa isip ko ang makipagrelasyon. Wala na akong puso dahil patay na ito.
"Shit! Ang guwapo!"
I rose up from the chair when I heard a sighed that sounded like a quiet gasp. The familiar appreciative looked that I usually hear from Millicent when her crush is around. I saw all the Crew and the Gay Owner had one line of vision. They are gawking at Shawn who is checking himself from the mirror.
When he has a long hair I knew him gorgeously striking. He had a glowing skin, typical western fair complexion that helped him stand out, plus his confidence and that playful smirk on his face. Though sometimes I cannot read if his smile is genuine or he is plotting some naughty scenes on his head. But right now, clean-cut hair, revealing his every finer point from the stark angles of his face. Plus his lean body, those pecks and massive chest that hides from his black t-shirt.
I looked away and gave myself a moment of time to breath. I didn't know that I held it for quite some time while under his spell. This he just hallucinate us here? Spreading his pheromones that he knew no one would dare to complain because we all here are feminine by heart?
I heard another gasped when Shawn kneel in front of me and stared beneath my eyes. "Aren't you done?"
"Itong kamay nalang, Sir," sagot ng manicurist.
Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. He probably wanted to hear my reaction.
"Y-you hear her."
"Alright. I will wait." His smooth movements when he stood up. Lazily, sat down on the chair and took one of the magazines.
I sighed. The gay and some crew tried to get his attention and they did. He is not a snobbish person. He had an approachable and friendly charm that you would easily earn when you attempted to speak with him. I am fine with that set-up. While I am busy, he is busy too. I don't want him throwing his whole attention with me.
Wasting twenty more minutes, my fingernail arts were done. I checked them all together before I stood up and used my credit card for the payment. But Shawn is too quick that I didn't see him pay for all of it. He is wasting much money for me now. I am not okay with that. Baka isipin niyang ginagamit ko ang kabaitan niya sa akin.
He stood up. Chugged his pocket, letting us hear his keys chime as he looked down on me. Inakbayan niya ako at hinila na palabas. Nang makaupo na kami ng matiwasay ay nilingon niya ako. "Any plans, Ma'am?"
I think something else, but I can't name what I want.
"Naka-leave ako ng four days. Ginagawa ko na ito monthly para tumambay sa Jones Island. Gusto mo sumama?"
Where could be the Jones Island? "Sure!"
We drove back in Friis Manor to get some clothes, foods, and some stuffs that he already knew that we can use. Mahaba ang biyahe, mabuti nalang at pinadala niya sa akin ang kanyang laptop at nanood kami. Puro katatakutan kaya kung hindi ako tumitili sa takot ay nahahampas ko siya sa panggugulat sa akin.
Madaling araw kami nakarating. Madilim pa ang paligid at tanging ang malaking kubo ang nakita kong bahay doon. O baka dahil sa sobrang antok ko ay hindi ko napansin?
Nauna siyang lumabas. May lalaking lumabas sa kubo na tingin ko ay mas bata sa amin. They exchanged fist bump before Shawn say something. The guy looked on my way before they both walk closer on my side.
Shawn knocked the window. I pressed the button to slide it down. I shivered in the morning breeze. Triple ang lakas noon sa air condition ng sasakyan.
"Serene, si Martin nga pala kababata ko. Martin si Serene."
I waved at her. "Hi."
I know its dark but the headlight and the light from the Kubo are enough for me to see how Martin blushed his cheek. "Good morning po. Pasok muna kayo sa loob at makapagkape," anyaya niya.
Pinagbuksan ako ni Shawn ng pinto. Yakap ko ang aking katawan paglabas. Mas lalo akong gininaw at inantok sa lamig ng simoy ng hangin. Pumasok kami sa loob. Silang dalawa ay naiwan sa bukas na pinto habang tangan ang kape. Ako naman ay nakaupo sa sofa na gawa sa kahoy.
"Shawn, inaantok pa ako."
Lumingon siya sa akin. Iniwan ang kape kay Martin at sinamahan ako sa loob. Inayos niya ang papag upang lagyan ng mosquito net at banig. Kumuha rin siya ng unan sa loob ng sasakyan at iyon ang inilagay sa higaan ko.
"Sige, pumasok ka na sa loob."
Tumango ako. Kabado nang lumangitngit ang papag sa aking pagsampa. Naramdaman ko rin ang paghila niya sa laylayan ng skirt ko noong umangat iyon. He helped me removed my sandals and tuck the edge of the mosquito net on the handwoven mat.
Hindi ako agad humiga. Iniisip ko kung saan siya matutulog?
"Doon lang ako sa labas."
"Why don't you sleep too? Sa ating dalawa mas pagod ka."
"Matutulog din kami. Mauna ka na."
Tumango ako. Maraming katanungan pero piniling huwag ng isatinig. Dahan-dahan nang nahiga. Natulala ako sa lumang muwebles na nakita ko sa gilid. At sa jar na pinaniniwalaan ko na pinagtataguan ng aswang noong bata ako. This place is kind of sending chills on my spine. I don't know if it was because of lack of lights or because of the old style. As if many generation died here years, years ago.
"Can't sleep?"
Napaahon ako sa higaan. "Akala ko lumabas ka na."
Wala siyang sinabi. Tiningnan niya ang jar kung saan ako nakatingin kanina bago sa akin bumaling. "Natatakot ka ba?"
Umiling ako. "As long as you are here. I know I am safe."
Ngumisi siya. Tinanggal ang pagkakaipit ng kulambo sa banig at gumapang papasok upang tumitig ng malapitan sa aking mukha. "You are making me more curious, Serene. What else should I know about you aside from being weird, fierce, and rarely smile?"
His breath fanned my face. He smells coffee and cool mint. I looked on his hypnotizing pitch-black eyes, down to his luscious lips, and then back with his eyes.
I stole kiss on his cheek. "Good night, Shawn." Hinayaan ko siya roon at humiga na. Masakit sa likod pero tiniis ko iyon dahil ang bigat na talaga ng talukap ng mata ko.