The day after I had spoken with Remus was a Monday, and for the first time in a week, I went down to the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Lily or Septima had brought me food over the past week, but I felt ready to be together with people today. I only had one week left at Hogwarts and I had decided to make the most of it.
However, I had woken up very early by nightmares, as I had every morning now, and the Hall was empty when I came down. I had to admit to myself that I was somewhat relieved. It was better to face people gradually then walk into a wave of sympathy and worried looks.
I had just helped myself to oatmeal with banana, sugar, and milk - something my mother had often made me - when I heard footsteps echoing towards the Hall. I looked up to see Sirius' familiar face bobbing into view and swallowed. It seemed such a long time ago since I had been worried over whether or not I like him, and whether he returned those feelings or not. His face lit up when he saw me, and a managed a small smile as he came and sat down opposite me.
He opened his mouth, obviously trying to find something to say. I hadn't seen him since the charms exam. Finally, he said, "What the bloody hell are you eating?"
I looked down at my bowl and back at him, "Oatmeal, banana, milk, and sugar." I replied plainly, not understanding what the problem was.
"Oatmea- Ollie, you have the choice of bacon, pancakes, jam, everything, and you chose oatmeal. You really are something, aren't you?" He said incredulously, laughing and shaking his head incredulously at me.
"Yes, I did. I really am what?" I replied, looking at him steadily. Again, it felt nice doing something normal, like having banter with Sirius.
"Well," He blushed slightly, "Something special." He muttered.
"Well, imagine how dull things would be if I weren't." I said, trying to stop myself from blushing.
"I can't." He replied, this time his voice was clear and steady and he looked at me seriously. This time I couldn't stop the heat from flushing over my face.
"Ollie, I'm so so-"
"Don't" I interrupted him, "If you say you're sorry, I will actually rip your fingernails off. It's such a stupid thing to say."
He looked taken aback for a moment, then said, "I agree. I think it's ridiculous for apologising over a situation you had no control over, but I wanted to apologise for not being there for you this week."
I was silent for a moment, "I didn't want anyone near me. I wouldn't have let you."
"I just-" he hesitated, "It hurts me knowing-" again, "I want you to know that I'm here for you if you want anything, and that if you don't write to me I will send you howlers until you do."
I smiled and said, "I'll send you letters." I couldn't think of anything else to say but was spared having to think of anything when Remus walked into the room and smiled widely as he came and sat down next to me and gave me a huge hug.
The rest of the day passed quite smoothly, none of my friends fussed over me, I suspected Remus had told them all to treat me normally, but the boys tried extra hard to make me smile, and the girls got me anything I asked them for. Around two, I left classes to go and sit by the lake for a bit, feeling tired, and Remus came with me in case I needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.
Then the rest of the week passed in quite a similar fashion, I joined in more and more but wandered off to the lake when I felt overwhelmed, and Remus only ever left my side when I went to bed in the evenings. I had started to sleep in the same bed as Septima, I found that my nightmares were easier to handle when I was in her proximity and she always calmed me down with a softness and patience I could hardly understand.
Soon it was Friday, the day before the Hogwarts express would take us back to King's Cross and my new life would start. I'd be travelling back home with Remus and spend the night there, then go to the - the funeral then next day. My father would be attending the ceremony and then he'd take me with him afterwards.
I brushed my hair slowly, watching the sun gleam through the strands and fall silky smooth down the sides of my face. My eyes changed from an icy blue to a rich chestnut. I sighed and put down the hairbrush. The Gryffindor first years had decided to have a sort of celebratory picnic down by the lake - the boys had somehow acquired food from the kitchens-, and we'd decided to meet up ten minutes ago.
I dragged myself down the stairs leading down to the common room, looked around and thought how much I would miss the cosy room, then proceeded to stumble down the stairs, through the front doors, and down the grassy hill to the bobbing heads that were my friends. As I came into their view, they began cheering, and James yelled out,
"There she is! The guest of honour! The lady of the day! The woman of our hearts-"
Remus shoved him and gave him a look of exasperation, but I appreciated the gesture and the fact that he, and everyone else, were doing their very best to make me feel better.
I slumped down between Sirius and Lily and layed down on the grass, closing my eyes and smelling the air, thinking that I would miss that too.
We soon got started on a round of truth or dare, as most parties with 11-year-olds do, and I lay on my back propped up by my elbows listening until Peter squeaked, "Ollie, truth or dare?"
Taken aback that someone asked me - almost everyone but me had been asked at least twice - I considered for a while, then replied, "Truth."
Half the people groaned and James burst out, "Bo-ring."
"Right. Um." Peter seemed to be struggling to find a question, "Who do you like?"
I felt my cheeks heat up and felt suddenly aware of Sirius' body beside mine, "What makes you assume I like anyone at all."
Again, everyone groaned, and Septima said with a cheeky smile, "Just answer the question."
I glared at her, and just as I was opening my mouth to insist I didn't like anyone, it seemed as if a part of me clicked onto autodrive and I no longer had any control over myself, and instead, I said, "Well. Sirius."
As soon as it came out of my mouth, I clapped my mouth to it, horrified, and spun around to look at Sirius who was staring wide-eyed at me. I could see everyone looking at me flabbergasted as if they hadn't expected an honest answer. I jumped and squeaked, "April fools?" Then ran off towards the large oak tree, not daring to look behind me as I started to climb it.
When I reached a sturdy, thick branch as high up as I dared to climb, I sat down, my heart beating a million times per minute. What had come over me? It felt like hours passed, just me catching my breath and listening to my heart pound so hard in my chest I thought it would burst out. Then, I heard a rustle of leaves and I looked startled around too see none other than Sirius climbing up the tree towards me.
I looked quickly away, almost wanting to cry out of embarrassment knowing well that both my face and my hair were shades of red.
Sirius reached my branch and sat down on the branch beside, just a bit lower than my own so our eyes were at the same level.
"That was pretty bold of you." He said simply. His body was turned to face me, but I kept looking down at my hands.
"Mmhm." I mumbled, unsure of what to say.
"I didn't know you felt that way about me." He tried again.
"Uh." I said. Dammit, why couldn't my mouth - which had been so keen to talk only moments ago - even form a decent sentence?
"I supposed that what I felt for you was unrequited, so I never bothered to tell you but, well, had I know, then I might have-" He rambled, and I spun around to look at him so fast that I nearly fell out of the tree and had to grab onto his robes to hold myself steady.
"You- you like me too?"
"Well, yeah." This time he looked away, his fingers twitching at the hem of his robes. I realised I was still gripping onto him, so I let go and folded my hands together in my lap instead.
"Oh." I said, feeling extraordinarily dumb.
"Do you think- would you mind," he fumbled with his robes, then stopped and looked at me, "Is it cool if I kiss you?"
Again, my face burned and I immediately began to sweat, and my voice came out as a hoarse whisper, "No."
I then leaned forward and put my lips on his. He was still for a moment, then moved to kiss me back, putting his hand on my waist. I rested my hands on his neck and moved as far forwards as I could on the branch without falling off. For the record: kissing in a tree makes a good scene in a film but is not recommended in real life.
We broke apart and he seemed to glow, "Why-" He said.
"Because I wanted to kiss you." I replied softly.
We climbed gingerly down the tree to find that all the others were waiting for us some meters away.
James looked from me to Sirius, then belted out, "Ollie and Sirius sitting in a tree. K - I - S - S - I - N - G"
Everyone laughed, including me, even though I felt my face burn. I smiled at Sirius and we walked up to the castle for the end of year feast, hand in hand.
~ A/N ~
So it happened! If anyone picked up on the song reference, I love your little emo soul. Please vote, comment and recommend the book to anyone you think would enjoy it.
Love y'all,
21stCenturyMarauder <3