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It's been seven days... Seven goddamn days... It feels like seven years.
I lay in the bathtub like a plank of wood, my head slipping lower and lower down the milky slope while faucets blast angrily at my feet. All motivation to bathe left my body twenty minutes ago to the point where I'm still in my underwear and socks. Quite frankly, if the tub fills up to the top, I don't know if I'll bother moving.
I've been skipping school for a week now that everyone thinks I'm a low-level prostitute. I can only imagine my name now being at the peak of gossip but I'm sure Mina's probably out there defending me, I feel bad that I haven't been responding to her texts, or anyone's for that matter.
The water in the tub rises from my calves to my waist. My dad will probably scold me when he sees this months water bill, at least then he'll show me some attention. He's at work more than ever, so is mom, Margo isn't here, Tye hates me, Gretchen hates me, Teddy hates me, Taehyung...
Taehyung...
I miss him so much it hurts...
In my hand lies the necklace I dived deep for despite being a weak swimmer. I hold it up high, my gaze bounces between each petite diamond that glistens and swings around. What used to warm my heart with every glance now brings me chilling flashbacks. I remember how I held it on my way home with dripping hair and chattering teeth, looking at the golden-lit penthouse one last time before the taxi drove away and the illuminated view was replaced with dark, shadowy trees.
He didn't even pay me a second glance when I jumped...
His intimidating voice... Those blood-smeared lips... The harsh feeling of metal snapping at the back of my neck while he glares at me with hollow, soulless eyes... It was all I could think about. The most frightening thing I had ever seen. I had no idea he could look like that, like a whole new person... Part of me wonders if that was even the same person I fell in love with.
Knowing that he opened up to me about so much only to find out I had been lying to him is what's killing me inside. It's true when they say you don't know what you have until you've lost it. If I could rewind time I'd dump Tye straight away and run into Taehyung's arms. I'd never let him go. I'd let him know that I love him until he was tired of hearing it... But it's too late. He wants nothing to do with me now. I've been calling his phone every day and sending texts but he hasn't responded to a single thing.
I hope somewhere deep down he knows I care about him, not for wealth, not for pity. Just authentic love. Fighting with both Tye and Taehyung made me realize who I really miss. And I miss my Tae.
The water rises until it's gently dancing around my upper lip, my body having adjusted to the cold temperature. I now let go of the necklace, it glides and sinks along the water while I shut my eyes and let my body turn numb in the oceany bed.
*Bzzzz! Bzz—!*
I jolt awake when my phone vibrates on the hard bathroom floor. The water of the bath splashes everywhere, it's like my spine has been struck by lightning. In a heartbeat, I jump up and scramble for the phone, almost tripping over the side of the tub.
With the device clasped in my hands, my smile drops when the name on the screen isn't Taehyung's. I sigh and turn off the faucet before wrapping myself with a towel and answering.
"Oh, hey Mi."
"Lilo what is going on? You've barely responded to any of my texts this week! This is about Tye, isn't it?"
"Please, not now... He's the last person I want to think about."
"Who's with you right now?"
"No one."
"Good. I'm coming over to have a talk with you and you have no say in it. I'll be over in 20."
The call hangs up before I can even answer, making me sigh and run a hand through my hair.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
"Alright..." Mina sits on my bed with hands on her thighs. I turn my back on her to brush my frizzy hair in the mirror.
"It's the afternoon and you're only now washing up? What's going on? In detail please. Like how the hell did you and Taehyung became a thing? And this place is quiet asf, where's Margo?"
I sigh and lower the comb from my hair, "Alright I'll tell you... But you have to promise not to judge."
"Never." She shakes her head and pats the spot beside her. My duck plushy becomes suffocated between her crossed arms and legs.
And so I sit beside her, telling her nearly everything. From the moment Taehyung and I shared our first kiss on Christmas to the arrival of his crazy ex, then when Gretchen opened up about liking Taehyung and how that led to her and Teddy hating me. Then there's Margo, followed by the Tye situation and the fact that Trisha is engaged to my cousin.
"Oh my gosh Lilo, I'm so sorry about Margo. I can barely believe it... I remember when he was a just a pup. I don't know what to say..."
"It's fine, I'm slowly getting used to the quiet."
"Well I don't think Teddy and Gretchen have a right to stay mad for long, it's not like you got with Taehyung after she confessed. Your first kiss with him sounds so magical, I've dated 29 guys and none have been as romantic as that, I'm lowkey jealous! Also, Trisha is a slut, I'm not surprised that she's making out with Tye when she's engaged. And I can't believe that bastard put his hands on you! I swear the next time I see him, he's going to wish he had his babies from now!"
"Please don't. I don't want you getting yourself expelled from school."
"Can't make any promises." She grumbles.
I roll back my eyes and fall onto my spine, throwing a hand over my lids. "It sucks that Trisha will be part of my family now. I don't know what my cousin sees in her. With everything that's going on, I swear I could just lay here and die."
"Nope nope nope." Mina whacks my face with the cushion, making me flinch.
"There will be no more of that. We're going out tonight. There's no way I'm letting my best friend mope at home calling a guys phone on a Friday night when she could be out having fun. I've been super stressed with college hunting lately so I'm going to a party, and you're coming with me."
"I don't know Mi... I don't really like parties. Besides, the last one ended with gunshots and screaming."
"But this time we'll go out to a club. It'll be our first real nightclub as legal adults! I guarantee you, you won't even think about Taehyung by the end of the night. And I promise not to get stupid drunk. So...? What do you say?"
"Mmm....." When I lift my hand Mina looks at me with wide, hopeful eyes, causing me to sigh in defeat.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
Blindingly colorful neon laser beams shoot through the dark and steamy room. Drunk, sweaty, hyper people all around, with the intense smell of beer that makes me want to gag. But I guess the music isn't too bad, despite most of it being just tuneless base. The deep vibrations cause my heart and other insides to tremor.
"Pretty lit club, huh?" Mina shouts.
"Yeah it almost beats decomposing at home peacefully."
"Oh come on, this is way more fun. Look at all the hot guys in here! I see about seven potential boyfriends."
None as hot as Taehyung though...
"Let's get a drink first, I wanna be tipsy when I reach the dance floor." Mina pulls me to the bar. My hand tugs on the hem of my tight mini dress as I take rapid baby steps to the two empty barstools. I can't believe she forced me to wear this.
"What'll you ladies have?" A bartender greets us. "Eight tequilas shots please," Mina answers. The bartender nods and walks off.
"Eight?"
"Yeah, four for each of us."
"Mina I don't even like drinking."
"You've gotten drunk before, you can do it again." She shrugs.
When the bartender returns Mina clinks her glass cup with mine and chugs, "To the extinction of men!"
My face twists in disgust before taking a small sip of the shot. I instantly gag with the drink flooded in my cheeks.
As I lean forward to set the drink down, I feel somebody behind me slap me hard on the ass, making me spit tequila all over Mina.
"Hey watch it—!" I spin on my stool and bring my hand up to slap the person before freezing— "Jungkook?!"
"Whoaaaaaa Lilo? Wait wait whaa..." He laughs, pinching his nose and swaying side to side. He wears a tight black shirt that's rolled up at the sleeves and unbuttoned to expose too much chest. For the first time his hair isn't black, but a moonlight navy blue.
"Oh mann I didn't expu-ssspect to see you here!"
"Oh, hey Jungkook!" Mina waves.
Jungkook inflates his cheeks and raises a fist to each side of his head before spreading his fingers and making a mouthy explosion. "Yooo I'm bugging... Hey Lilo listen... Get close, I have something to tell you..." He flashes his fingers.
"Okay..." I reluctantly lean in.
"Listen.... I had some brownies earlier, and imma be honest with you right noow...." He grabs my head with two hands, messing up my hair and pulling me in closer so that his whispering lips press into my ear. "I'm high as fuuuuuuuck..."
"Uh, Yeah I can tell." I push him away, brushing my ear with my shoulder. "What are you even doing here?"
"Hiding from Kimmy." He laughs. "That chick is coo-cooOoo!"
The song in the club changes to a more upbeat one, making Jungkook's face light up. "Aw Yeah! I'm gonna go dance, you coming?"
"No thanks, think I'll stay here for a bit."
"Mina?"
"Sure I'll come!" She downs her third shot before slamming the glass onto the counter and following Jungkook. "We'll be on the dance floor when you're ready Lilo!"
I smile and raise my glass to her exit before frowning at the drink in my hand.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
—9:28PM—
Despite the energetic music and happy chatter around me, my mind is still elsewhere. I wish I could loosen up like these people, getting wasted and dance my problems away... But I'm just can't put myself in the mood. On the bright side, at least Mina's having a good time.
"Not having fun?"
I break away from my lap to look at the bartender who smiles at me whilst mixing a drink.
"Just not really in the mood. Parties aren't my thing."
"Ahh..." He nods and does a smooth trick with the glasses, tossing them in the air and catching them perfectly to make me laugh.
"So what bought you here in the first place?"
"My friend bought me here to cheer me up, but I think this is more her therapy than mine." I chuckle once more.
"Yeah she looks like she's having fun alright..."
My eyebrows knit before the man points and I instantly turn on my stool wide-eyed. Mina and Jungkook get freaky on the dance floor, his hand holds her waist tightly and other rides up her hip, his leg is positioned between her thighs as she grinds on him whilst holding his veiny arms.
"Oh hell no." I get up from the bar and approach the dance floor. When I do I immediately rip Mina away.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
"Heyyyy pft-fft—why'doo stop my dance for? I was getting into it!" She pouts with one eye shut.
"With Jungkook?? Okay I'm calling us an Uber, it's time to go home."
"You're such a party PoOpur!" She turns back to Jungkook before I pull her again. "Mi, you're bumping and grinding with our good friend. You're going to make things weird."
*Ping ping!* I look down at the illuminated screen.
"Oh good, there's an Uber already outside. Let's go before we miss our ride."
"But that's noT the ride I WaaAant!" She reaches out for Jungkook who has already moved onto another girl. I roll my eyes and pull her out of the club.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
With my hands hooked around her underarms, I drag Mina over to the car that awaits with an open door. The eyes of people queuing outside the club train on us as I pull. I promise not to get stupid drunk she says. This'll be fun she says.
"Alright, in you go..." I rotate and push her towards the door, but she raises her leg so that her heel pushes against the roof. Here we go. Entering the stubborn child mode.
"Mina. Get in the car."
"No!"
"Mina—!" I grunt and strain as I push against her back, she shakes her head with a pout and twists about. "NooOo I waNT to dance with JuancOck!"
"Jung— what?"
"Hey hey come on you mess up my car!" The driver pokes his head out of the window before yelling at us in a foreign language and beeping his horn.
"Alright give us a minute jheeze!"
Finally building up enough strength, I throw Mina into the back seat, making her roll off the leather chair and hit her head on the floor with a loud thump. My face scrunches at the sound of her prolonged groan. "Sorry!"
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
—1:45AM—
I have to admit, I may not have partied the night away like a wild animal, but I certainly did forget about my worries tonight. If someone would have told me that babysitting Mina would cheer me up I would be in disbelief, but looking back on the night it was actually hilarious.
It's as though I've found my laugh again. And it's all thanks to this nutcase;
I look down at my lap where Mina's head rests, pulling a loose strand of hair from her face.
Sticking another spoonful of ice cream in my mouth, I kick back comfortably on my couch with a Gotham marathon in a loose grey sweater that hangs off my shoulder, sweats and slippers.
Halfway into the season, my phone vibrates loudly on the glass coffee table. I groan and pause the TV, lightly moving Mina's head.
"Aw man, it was just getting good."
I set down the empty ice cream bowl and lean forward to check the caller ID:
[Incoming call]
—Taehyung
My hands freeze.
My whole body freezes.
I feel my heart pound severely until it's only beats away from knocking my ribs. We haven't spoken in a week... What reason could he possibly have to call?
My mind is in a state of panic, chaotically searching for a logical answer, only for none to come to mind. Maybe he's dialing by accident...
...Seven seconds go by and the phone continues to ring.
My bulged eyes gravitate to the screen that remains bright and flashy. I feel my brain pick itself apart deciding whether it's too late to pick up or if I should take a last second chance, only wasting more time in the process.
I can't take it anymore.
My hand lunges towards the phone and answers immediately.
"Taehyung? Hello?"
*Rustling...*
"Hello? Tae? I've been calli—"
"Youfff... ugh... yoUu have no idea how much I..."
"Taehyung, are you drunk? Where are you?"
He chuckles deeply, "Ohh wouldn't yoU lkke to kn—"
"Taehyung? Hello?" Dammit the phone cut out. I could barely make out what he was saying.
I know I should shake it off. I literally just got my mind off of him, running back to check on him would only bring back drama and stress.
But what if he's doing something reckless?
My mind is telling me to stay here and ignore it...
But my heart...
Looking back at Mina's sleepy form, I tuck a blanket over her shoulders, grab my coat, slip on a pair of Ugg's and leave the house.
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🌙
"Taehyung?" I call out as I enter the penthouse. He had forgotten to revoke my keys the last time we spoke. Part of me is scared for what's to happen when I'm caught being here, but I won't find closure until I know that Taehyung is okay. If I get yelled at again then so be it.
I roam the cream and bronze hallways, letting my boots echo along the spotless marble floor. The home seems empty. He's not in the living room or by the pool, and not in the kitchen either.
The sound of a door then creaks in the distance.
I follow the noise around the corner only to catch Taehyung leaving his bedroom a stumbling mess with one hand on his head and the other on the handle as he pulls it. He wears a loose t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.
After a couple of seconds he notices my presence, I easily become paralyzed when I'm found by his cold and unwelcoming glare. "Taehyung I..."
"Why are you here." He spits tensely.
"You're the one who called me. How much have you been drinking?" I motion my eyes to the berry tint of his lips. He wipes and licks them before turning away. "Didn't I tell you not to come back?"
The fact that he can't stand to look at me for more than a couple seconds breaks my heart further. "I know... But I was worried—"
"Leave."
"Tae stop pushing me away for just one—"
"I said LEAVE. Right now."
"Why can't—"
Suddenly we both hear a noise coming from his bedroom.
My head shoots to the door, then to Taehyung. He stares back at me before clenching his jaw.
...Is someone else here?
I furrow my eyebrows and immediately start heading towards the door. As soon as I reach for the handle Taehyung grips it in his hand, standing closer and pulling it into his abdomen. I try prying his grasp away from the handle and replacing it with my own until we're practically battling for custody.
"—Move!" I shout, getting frustrated.
My hands get more aggressive over his sloppy ones until finally I'm able to push him back and win control of the door.
"Wait!"
I ignore him and barge into the room.
The moment I enter, my feet become solid concrete. Tears coat my bottom lashes and my breath turns... Non-existent.
Mulan lies there sound asleep on top of the messy sheets, naked.
There's a moment of silence. My body shakes with a nauseous feeling that bubbles and erupts in the pit of my stomach. My vision moves around the bed like an unsteady movie camera.
"You... fucking bastard..." I turn around to Taehyung with wet eyes. Shaking my head, I shove past him and head for the door. His lips quietly smack before he takes a breath and grabs my wrist, "Lilo wait—"
I bring up my hand and slap him hard.
His face snaps aside to display a burning red cheek, eyes lingering on the floor while he wets his lips and swallows.
"You haven't changed at all, have you?! I can't believe I came back here thinking you were in TROUBLE... I'm such a fucking idiot... I-I felt so disgusted for what I did because I thought I betrayed someone who really cared about me! But if you were willing to sleep with someone else so soon that shows you never had a shred of care for me in the first place!! You don't think I feel terrible enough as it is?? You had to go and turn two wrongs into a right?! Is this a joke?!"
My mouth is stretched wide to expose my clenched teeth when the first tear bleeds from my eye. It's hard to believe I'm already screaming. His head slowly rises, only now daring to look at my tear-smeared face.
"I know the real reason why you're mad at me Taehyung! It's not because of Tye— It's because I'm the first person to have stolen your heart and the first person to have broken it! And for that I'm sorry! But how could you share the bed we lied in with HER?!! Mulan of all people!! The psycho who tried to kill me!!!"
"Well you're no saint yourself!!" He yells back, making me mute.
"You act like you've been this supportive little angel... Like you understand where I come from but you don't! Do you remember the first thing you did when I told you about my dad?! YOU RAN AWAY! Whether it was only for a minute or whether you still feel that way now, you were scared of me Lilo! And then on top of that you led me on when you had a boyfriend! How am I to believe this whole thing wasn't out of pity?!"
"Well can you blame me for being scared?! YOU'RE A MURDERER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! I tried to be as sympathetic with you as I could, but you can't expect me to understand the troubled little bastard who killed his own family!! YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW TAEHYUNG! OR A MENTAL ASYLUM!! THE PLACE WHERE YOU BELONG WITH YOUR FATHER—!"
2023 A/N: i'm sure y'all already know this but please don't weaponize peoples trauma against them. Lilo is just an awful character and her actions here shouldn't be followed 😅
Before I can utter another word, Taehyung pins me to the wall by my throat with a loud bang. Our eyes lock intensely as the tension ignites between our bodies. "Don't you ever compare me to him."
There he is... That stranger again.
His aura feels so livid, I can sense his blood boiling right before me... But his orbs reflect something different. They looked pained and broken, growing dim with fog at the sight of what we've become.
At first my eyes are wide, but within seconds my face crumbles and lips tighten like a weaved string. The ball in my throat rolls down his palm while my vision turns slightly cross-eyed at the close proximity of our heated faces, gaze bouncing around every inch of his pupils before my voice cracks and fists ball tight,
"What are you gonna do...?" More thick tears break from my eyes, making it difficult to gulp. My lips tremble until I'm speaking in nothing but quiet, squeaky whispers, "...Kill me like you killed your alcoholic dad? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree..."
His face softens when my body numbs and fists shake under him, his grip on my neck loosens and I whimper almost inaudibly, choking on every word. I see his eyes watering too, disguised well by his long eyelashes.
"You know what... You're right... Maybe I don't understand where you come from and maybe I never will..." I push his chest before sniffing to restrict the tears bawling from my swollen eyelids.
"Fuck you Taehyung... I-I can't do this anymore! Despite everything you've ever done I accepted you for who you are, scared or not. You'd seriously still have feelings for her? After EVERYTHING she's done?? You need help! You both do. It's only a matter of time before you end up spending the rest of your life with someone that hurts you... Just like your mom..." Tears gather and drip from my chin, I notice his orbs growing misty and swamped. "...I hope she shows you even a shred of the love I showed you, because right now you look just like him. Angry, drunk and full of regret. Your worst fear has come true and now, so will mine. I'm relieved that you fired me... I swear to God after this don't speak to me ever again. It's clear you two are meant for each other."
Taehyung's face stains red, now a heart-wrenching cross between distress and agony. The sight only makes me break down more as I storm out of the room and slam the door behind me.
The moment I exit the house I fish out my phone and open my contacts, scrolling rapidly with a spazzing thumb. The phone shakes and rattles in my hand, and as if my arm had a mind of its own, I suddenly slam the phone against the concrete floor and scream at the top of my lungs, tugging my roots and sobbing loudly into my knees. I deleted Taehyung's number. Permanently.
No more apologies... No more calls... I'm done.