"Hello? Anybody speaking English here? No?"
I rang a bell at the bar top, and looked around to find someone that was working here. But I only saw a couple of half-sleeping men that sat at a table playing cards. And neither of them bothered to look my way.
"HELLOOO?! ANYBODY HERE?? NECESITO HELPOS! YO SEARCHOS TRAB... Oh, there you are."
A middle aged man with goat beard came strolling, appearantly having all the time in the world. He looked like a typical Mexican, except that he didn't wear any sombrero.
"Hola..." he grunted.
"¿Que quieres?"
"Yeah. Necesito trabajo, por favor. You help?"
I prayed to God that he understood what I was saying, because my Spanish still sucked after a few months here.
"No."
"What? No no! Yes! Si! I can work.. Uhm. ¿Yo work... uhm... trabajo en las baros?"
I pointed to all the bottles behind him before I tapped my finger on the counter, and then at myself.
"No."
"But, por favor! I really need a job! I can start today if you'd like?"
"No."
I scoffed in frustration.
"I can clean! I can... Argh! Just give me a damn job!"
Then I remembered to be polite and added:
"Por favor, senor."
Without any grimace at all, he gave me a once over.
"Puedes quedarte en ropa interior si quieres."
"Puedes what?"
He got this extremely sleazy grin, and reached over to pull at my shirt, and I immediately slapped his hands away.
"You want me to strip?!"
His grin got wider, and he nodded while he practically undressed me with his eyes. Disgusting!
"Dude! That is not gonna happen. Are you sure you don't need a cleaner?"
He just shrugged and turned to clean one of the taps, pretending that I wasn't even there anymore. A definite cue for me to leave. So I did. But when the dusty, warm air outside hit me, and the burning rays from the sun warmed my face, I hesitated. The thought of Joe in the sheep costume and the embarrassment he had to go through, made me feel a sudden pang of guilt. I guess I could just... I mean, how hard can it be... I bet the tip is good?
What are you doing, Gail? Why do you even consider it? This is as close to prostitution as you can get. Don't....!
But I did. I sighed, turned on my heels, and headed back in.
"Okay, I'll strip. ¿A que hora?"
******
A couple of hours later, both Joe and I were changing clothes in a room behind the bar. I had locked the door securely, in case the sleazy bartender decided to 'accidentally' barge in. I changed into the sexiest dress I had, and Joe into his regular clothes. And the sheep costume was neatly folded and put away into a bag for now. I can't believe why they thought a sheep was a logic commercial for toilet paper...? I mean, they're both soft and all, but seriously?
"What exactly are we doing here, again? You got a job here?" Joe asked.
"Mhm."
"As a waitress?"
"Nope."
I pondered if I should tell him on beforehand, or just let him get shocked to see me on stage. It would be damn funny to see his face if I chose the last option, but I doubted that I would be able to keep a poker face and do as I was supposed to, if I did. And how dumb would it look if the stripper cracked up in fits of laughter in the middle of a seductive show?
"A cleaner?! Because that dress really is quite..."
"I'm gonna strip, okay?!"
I looked at Joe from the corner of my eye, and noticed how his body stiffened. And when I fully turned towards him, his eyes were large as satellite dishes.
"Y-you what....?!"
"What?! It's not like I'm gonna sell sex or anything! Unless you suddenly won a million bucks and paid me."
This wasn't exactly what you told myself a couple of hours ago, Gail, but if you're desperate...
"Well, no... But..."
"No buts. It's gonna give us food on the table, and a roof over our head that hasn't got holes in it, like our so-called apartment has. And not to forget; no rats!"
"Yeah, but..."
"Arrghh! Shut it, Joe. You can watch the show."
"Oh. Okay."
I chuckled by how easily he accepted it, as long as he got to see me undress. Like, he just did?! We had both changed in front of each other minutes ago. And even though I saw that he struggled to keep his eyes to himself, it wasn't like he'd never seen me naked before.
"Consider it as foreplay," I said and gave him a seductive smile, and he suddenly coughed and bit his lip.
It was so damn funny to tease him like this! It was so adorable how easily embarrassed he got, so I just couldn't help myself. And now, he was blushing immensely.
"Ready?" I asked, preparing myself to exit our changing room, and step out in the rather shabby facilities of the place. It really wasn't much to brag about, unless you've got a fetish for old vomit and sweaty, drunken old men.
I don't. And I know Joe didn't either.
"Uhm... Yeah. I'm sorry about that."
I raised my eyebrows questioningly. Then I saw it. His midsection. Oooh... That's what he meant. He was hard like a rock, and his slacks bulged out like a little tent.
"You better kill that right away, Joe, because we need to get out there."
He cleared his voice several times, and bit his lip again.
"But you look so hot in that dress.. I'm just gonna stay... Give me a few minutes. I need to... Uhm... Can you...? NO! Forget I said that! Gosh... Why do you..."
Aawe. Poor boy. He can't form a single sentence! Maybe you should just... One quick...? A handjob at least?
But I just rolled my eyes at him, and let him stay behind. Maybe if he got off a little steam, he would endure a little longer later tonight. One could only hope.
The music changed into something a little more suitable for a striptease. At least something else than the everlasting traditional Mexican music, with guitar, trumpets and violins. Aaaand sombreros... Sombreros everywhere! Not that those made any sound, but they sure disturbed my mindset.
With a little introduction, I entered the stage on shaky legs, and the room was suddenly filled with wolf whistling and cheering. I got blinded by the stage light, and stumbled over the floor with my hands in front of me, in search for the chair I was going to use, since they didn't have any dance pole. So much for elegant entrance... And then I started.
It wasn't as horrible as I thought. And the nervousness I felt, gradually faded, as I found myself in some sort of bubble where it was only me and the music. I shimmied my shoulders and pushed my breasts out, and rolled my hips a little extra as I walked around the chair. To be honest, not just a little. A whole lot! And it obviously was appreciated by the men in the pub, judging by the growing volume of cheering. I saw Joe's face in the crowd, and his eyes and gaping mouth told me that whatever he did in the room behind the bar, didn't help much.
Suddenly a man came on stage with me and sat on the chair with a wide smirk. Hmm. This wasn't like I'd planned at all. But maybe...
Gail! Stop it! You are not giving a total stranger a lap dance! But how could it hurt to do it? It wasn't like I was going to touch him. No! Yes! Hmm...
As I circled around him, lifting my feet high like I was a dressage horse, his eyes were practically eating me out. I shuddered, but went on, hoping that it would help on the tip. And right before I was going to start pulling my dress off, people started throwing pesos into the stage, and I walked around, making a big number of leaning down with my ass towards the public. The cheering escalated for every time I bent down, and people threw more money towards me, to make me continue. But then the man on the chair got impatient, and grabbed my hand. He dragged me towards the chair and abruptly sat down down, and that made me lose my balance, which caused me to dump down on his lap. The smell of old sweat, liquor and tobacco hit me like a brick wall. So, I immediately tried to stand up, but he locked me in place and laughed loudly. And nobody in the crowd did anything to help me. Until...
There was some commotion, and I looked up to see Joe stormed forward towards me. He looked furious!
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY FIANCE, YOU FUCKING PRICK!!!"
I stared at him. Joe never used language like that. Could it be...?
Then he yanked me up and hit the Mexican in the face with full force. The punch was so hard that the chair tipped backwards and the man fell to the floor. Joe pulled him up by the collar and punched his chin, while he growled at me.
"Get out, Gail. Go outside! Now!!"
Mr. Jackson!!! It was really him! I should've known actually, seeing him literally knocking the air out of the Mexican without hesitation. But when I didn't react, he turned his head and glared at me.
"Gail?! Leave!"
But I started to worry about the poor man. I know he did wrong by forcing me to sit on his lap, but this was getting way out of hand! And it didn't help that the crowd was hollering like crazy either. A couple of men even looked like they were going to interfere, so I needed this to stop right away.
"MR. JACKSON! STOP IT!" I shouted, but he didn't listen at all. I knew he had beaten his former boss so badly that he died. Please don't let that happen again!!!
"STOOOOP! MR. JAAACKSON! LISTEN TO ME!"
But he didn't.
Shit! You need to stop this! You can't get arrested now. If you do, you'll end up in a cell either here or in the US. And you don't want any of those. Especially not a prison here! Do something, Gail!
So I did what my mother did, when she dragged me out from a fight with a boy that had once had called me a bitch. Hey! If he called me that, I sure as fuck was gonna behave like one too! And judging by his broken nose and black eye, I did pretty good job too. That was... Until my mother came.
I tapped Mr. Jackson on the shoulder, but as expected I didn't get his attention. So I grabbed a solid hold on his ear, and dragged him along with me towards the entrance while he whined like a child. And I didn't let go of him until we stood outside in the cool evening air. Inside, people kept on fighting each other, probably just for the sake of the fighting itself.
"What the hell, Gail?! Did you really have to pull me out of there like I was a little kid? By my friggin ear?!"
I snorted.
"Aawe. Mr. Big Bad Jackson's ego got a little scratch? You should tell that to Joe. He was actually enjoying the show."
"Uhmm, that might be. But that fucking asshole touched you! I can't tolerate that! And why the actual hell were you going to strip anyway?! You're too good for that!"
"That might be, Sir, but I'm starving. And now we've got money to buy some food. Ain't that great?"
He only grunted as an answer, and studied the knuckles of his hands. They were already about to swell up a little.
"Listen, if we get a arrested for a stupid thing like you knocking the teeth out of drooling, drunken men, they'll find out that we're wanted for murder, and put us in jail for the rest of our lives. And we don't want that, do we?"
He sighed, and I started to pull him down the street, towards a food stand to buy burgers. And by God, those were the best burgers I've ever tasted! Well, not really, because the bread was slightly burned, and the meat was awfully dry. But it didn't matter at all.
"So, what are we gonna do now?" I asked between mouthfuls.
He just squinted at me, and his voice was dark and almost threatening when he spoke up.
"It's time for dessert. And some punishment..."