Asia
"Ion know about that. Chrissy just started school with yo mama." I say keeping the conversation short with Christopher. I'm still mad he left the other night and is just getting home. "We all need a trip. It's already settled. We leave on Friday."
"So I don't have a say in shit, huh?"
"Not this."
"So where you was at?"
"I told you out when I left."
"That's how you playing it? Cool." I roll my eyes. He's annoying me so bad right now. I don't even know what he was mad for in the first place. It's not like shit is going to change. That man don't want shit to do with me now. I probably should've just kept my mouth shut but oh well.
"I'm about to go grab some to eat. You coming?" He asks. "No." I answer quickly. "When you ate last?"
"Don't worry about it." I can play the game too. "Asia."
"You ain't my nigga so don't worry about it." I say. He laughs. "Say less baby girl. I could say the same with you questioning me where I been."
"You probably was with some hoe. It ain't my concern. Do you."
He goes to say something but doesn't instead he grabs his keys and heads back out the door. I roll my eyes and sit down on the sofa. I stare down at my stomach.
"Baby boy I promise ima do right by you, even if I have to do this shit by myself......... Who am I kidding."
My phone rings and it's a call from Dom. I accept the charges and wait to hear his voice. "Asia."
"Hey Dom."
"Why you sound so sad? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. This pregnancy has my emotional ass switching up every ten seconds."
"Oh. I thought Chris did some. He was about to get seen about."
I laugh, "You can't do shit behind prison walls. You still think you can check somebody."
"I got my ways. Anybody can get seen about on sight."
"I miss you." I begin to tear up. "Man don't start.. I miss you too.." he says sternly. He can be as hard as he wants right now, Ima be soft enough for the both of us. I really miss him and it's nothing I can do to get him outta there.
"I talked to Rock daddy." I say trying to change the subject. "You did what?" He asks taken back. "Was I wrong to do that?"
"Who you was talking to? That man ain't have no family but his mama and sister."
"I had a therapist and he was telling me stuff and I put two and two together."
He sucks his teeth, "Nah impossible. Ion know who you was talking to and cut that off immediately. I don't like that and it ain't sitting well with me. That's done and over with, you got me?"
I roll my eyes, "He blocked me anyway. I haven't talk to him since then."
"Something about that ain't right man.... You should be talking to yo lil boyfriend not a therapist."
"That's not my boyfriend. He's mad at me right now though."
"From that shit with Rock daddy?"
"Yeah."
"He should be. That was stupid. You don't know that nigga... Don't do nothing like that ever again."
"I just wanted to do the right thing by the baby. No one sees that though. Asia's the bad guy as usual."
"No your big brothers are the bad guys as usual. You just carry that baby and be happy. You let me and ya lil boyfriend do all the tough shit. Tell that nigga Ima call him soon."
"Again that's not my boyfriend but okay."
He sucks his teeth, "Whatever. You did the most to be with him back then what's changed? Not a damn thing. I almost murked yo ass over that nigga. Stop playing with your feelings and his."
"I know this ain't Dom talking." I say. He laughs, "It's only one of me. He a decent man. He had to be about some coming back after all that shit. If you lose him this time, I don't have shit to do with it."
If I lose him, those words hit me. "He wouldn't go anywhere."
"You can only push a person so far."
"Okay Dom."
"Don't cut me short."
***
"Hey baby girl." I say to Chrissy. "I so tired." She says laying beside me. I laugh, "Did you have fun?"
"Yes." She answers back. Chris walks inside grabbing some clothes and walks into the bathroom. "Did daddy pick you up?" Chrissy nods her head yes. "Did your mother see you?" I ask him. "Nope." He simply says.
"Chris." I call out his name but he keeps walking. I suck my teeth, whatever. It's pointless to deal with this right now.
I walk inside the kitchen and prepare to look Dinner. I make it up to cooking the last thing, the cornbread and my feet feel like they're on fire. I sit the pan down and walk into living room.
"You straight?" Chris asks. He was sitting on the other side of the room. "My feet hurt." I manage to say kicking my shoes off. My feet are swollen I notice instantly. "What you ate today?" He asks. "A sandwich from Subway."
"Just a 6 inch?"
"No, a foot long."
"What you had on it?"
"Pickles, onions, peppers, tomatoes, salt, pepper, oil, vinegar."
"What meat Asia?"
"Pulled pork."
"Pork is salty as hell. That's probably why your feet look like they're about to burst." He says. "They really hurt... oh I had a cookie and some chips." I add remembering my entire meal. "What kinda chips?"
"Salt and Vinegar."
"So you had a foot long, chips, and a cookie?" He asks with a look of disbelief on his face. "Your point?" I question with a brow raised. "It's a lot of salt."
"But I was hungry."
"But that's why your feet are swole. No more salt for a while."
"I just made pork chops for dinner."
He sits beside me and pulls my right foot to him. "Well no pork chops for you."
I go to say something then stop. But it's not even worth an argument. "I guess." I respond now sitting back on sofa. "Dom is going to call you." I tell him.
"Alright. When you talk to him?"
"Earlier today. I'm tired of arguing with you." Really fucking tired. I just need to feel like my life is normal again, halfway normal.
"Well stop getting offended when I say shit that you need to hear."
"Can you stop being petty?"
He laughs, "I'll try. Your shit blows me sometimes that's just my reaction. If you work on yours, I'll work on mine. I know it's not all the way your fault and lil man is playing a big part. But we can still act like two adults rather than two teenagers who barely know each other that have a baby."
"Yeah... So I mean what are we doing?"
"What you mean by that?" Chris asks. "What we doing as two parents of a little girl and a little boy on the way?"
"Asia, you technically ain't even my girlfriend officially. You done playing like you don't want a nigga?"
"I never said I didn't want but I don't I just don't things to turn out like the last time."
"How will it?" He asks and I honestly don't have an answer for him. Was I being irrational this entire time? I can't say my brothers, I can't say our circumstances. It's literally nothing I can think of. It's nothing holding us back. Like Dom said if I lose him it's my fuck up.
"It won't." I say back. "I'm ready, I've been ready. So whenever you ready let me know."
"I'm ready."
"You sure?"
I shake my head yes. This is my life now. The mother of two children. Spending my life with my first of everything.