Blake's POV
Out of the forest
She storms out of the room, her head hung low, eyes piercing to the ground, and I desperately wanted her to just look me in the eye and know that Erika was not here for anything more than a five-minute chat-against my better judgement I let her in to have this so-called important conversation when I should have just kept it outside.
I know that this, along with what I said last week has made it incredibly hard to think that I still cared and wanted to be with Leila. What I said last week was impulsive and most likely ruined any chance of Leila coming to a definite decision.
I just hope she knows that I haven't given up yet.
"Why is she such a moody bitch?" Erika exclaimed, scoffing under her breath as she sauntered across the room, flopping down onto Leila's bed. I cringed, fighting back the urge to grab her by the arm and kick her out of my room.
But unlike last time, Erika didn't seem to come here on her behalf, but rather my mom's.
"Erika cut the crap. What's so urgent it couldn't wait?" I asked, leaning against the wall behind me as I glared at her. "Your mom is sick Blake." She said nonchalantly, and if it weren't for me knowing that Erika doesn't joke around when she speaks or would even have the nerve to lie about something like this; I'd think she was really lying due to the stoic expression on her face.
"If my mom is sick why do you know before me?" I inquired.
"She called me some time ago today because she couldn't get a hold of you. She knew I was remaining in America and knew I had seen you before so she called me, gave me the news and told me to tell you to call her."
I knew I shouldn't have turned off my phone.
"You need to fly back to Scotland, Blake. Obviously not for my sake but for your mom's sake."
"What is she sick with?" I asked, suddenly growing nervous. She parted her lips to reply but before she could I shook my head vigorously and fetched my phone from my pocket. I turned it on, ignoring Erika's grunts of frustration from across the room.
If my mom was seriously ill there wasn't any room for question as to whether or not I'd be flying back to visit her. She's my mother for crying out loud, the only other woman in my life I cared for more than my own.
It's true, I didn't want to leave Leila, especially not during a time like this and especially since during the past week, it was evident she has grown a lot closer to Peter. I mean, we are on a break, whatever she does with him is her concern, as long as she knows she doesn't want to be with him, I'm fine.
She'll be fine.
Right?
When my phone finally came to life, I immediately navigated my way to the call logs and dialled her number. I flickered my eyes towards Erika to find her eyes scanning over Leila's stuff, her lips downturned into a sneer as she glared daggers at everything that belonged to her.
I rolled my eyes and pivoted on my heels, facing away from her so as to not grow even more annoyed and angry. The phone stopped ringing and my mom's voice echoed from the other line, soft, comforting like I always remembered and I found myself smiling, suddenly feeling like I'm back home again.
"Mom, hey, how are you? I'm so sorry I didn't get your call today, my phone was off and I know you went through trouble having Erika get the message to me. B-but mom are you okay? Are you really sick?"
"Oh Blake, my boy! I-I know you're busy with classes and everything, that's understandable. I just-your father and I wanted to let you know of the news we got today. I-I must say it's not delightful but you're our son and well Blake. . .today I got my test results back from the doctor's office. R-remember that test I did some time back? Well, it came back and I-I well, I've been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer."
~~~
I placed the sticky note onto the fridge, sighing under my breath as my eyes penetrated through it. I didn't have to go back home now, but anything could happen to my mom at any time, and god forbid if anything does happen to her and I never got to see her one last time, I'd drag that to my grave.
I was riddled with too much worry to be able to crawl into my bed tonight, knowing my mother is sick and not knowing if she's going to be okay tomorrow. I know that the survival rate for stage 3 breast cancer is 72 percent, but no statistics can determine when her health will deplete unexpectedly.
I need to go see her.
"I'll see you soon Leila Hart," I mumbled softly as I sauntered out of the kitchen, my heart suddenly growing heavy, knowing that we didn't leave things on a good note and I am to be fully blamed for that. I should have just told her the truth, straight up told her I don't want us to end and I'm not 100% okay with taking a break.
But I do respect her decisions and her, so there was nothing I could do about it other than be angry with myself and push her away for my own selfish reasons; knowing I could not stay in the same room with her without wanting to have her in my arms.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and grabbed my suitcase from beside my closet. A half-hour ago I went down to the dean's office and explained my situation and obtained a temporary leave of absence. A substitute will be replacing me for now, until I get back.
And plus, it'll give me the space I need from Leila and vice versa.
"I managed to get us plane tickets, Blake. Call me your saviour or don't, I don't care, let's just go meet your mom!" Erika exclaimed as she pushed me out of the room. I desperately wanted to tell her to shut up but I held myself back because, despite our history, I still had 1% of respect for her.
"So are you and moody bitch really dating? Because to me, it looked like she was pretty upset I was over at your place. And plus all her stuff are in your room, and she even has a bed!? But god what is with her, she had a whole man in there with her, cheating on you?! I mean if you really are with her, she's not worth it Blake, she's probably a cheap who-"
"I'm holding back every muscle in my body, Erika, especially those in my jaw to snap at you. Don't you ever speak about Leila the way you just did because not only are you insulting her, but you're also insulting me. You're not half the woman Leila is and you have no right, nor should you have the audacity to speak ill on her name. Now before I say some things I truly mean, remain silent, yeah?"
She batted her lashes furiously and parted her lips to reply but nothing came out other than a small squeak. Great, I silenced her. I don't usually have rage towards women, but she is making it really difficult for me to remain a gentleman.
We rode down the elevator in silence and I was convinced I shut her down for good until she tapped me on the back, her eyes snapping around the lounge.
"Why are you in what seems to be the student's lounge?" She asked as we stepped out of the building. I ignored her all the way to my car, trying to block out the irritating sound of her heels slamming against the concrete beneath us.
"Aren't you a professor!? And plus I'm trying to figure out if that girl is your girlfriend who you made move in with you, if she's homeless or if she's a student who you have a relationship w-" Before she could finish her sentence I pivoted on my heels and outstretched my hand towards her.
I enclosed my palm around her wrist and tugged her to my chest harshly, ignoring the squeak that escaped her lips as she crashed into me. "Oh, you're getting rou-"
"Erika. I am warning you for the last and final time, keep Leila out of your mouth or you and I will have a serious problem. And furthermore what I do with my life and my living arrangements don't have jack shit to do with you. So for the bloody last time stay the fuck out of my life, you're married, why don't you worry about Carl?"
"You love her don't you?" She asked, her eyes welling with tears as she peered up at me. After a moment of silence, a scoff escaped my lips and I loosened my grip on her hand, pivoted on my heels back towards my car and popped my trunk where I proceeded to pack my suitcase.
Erika remained standing beside the car, frozen in her spot and I shook my head in disbelief as I slipped into the driver's seat, buckled on my seat belt and started the ignition. "I don't give a shit if you're staying or not, Erika. So get in or I drive off."
"FINE!" She exclaimed before she rounded the car and came to stand before the passenger's door. She stood there for a moment, seeming lost in thought which only spiked up my intolerance and annoyance towards her.
I slammed my palm against the honk, flashing her a glare as she flinched. She popped the passenger's door open and slipped in. Just as the door slammed shut I stepped on the accelerator and raced out of the parking lot.
"Blake!"
"Erika?"
"God, at least acknowledge my feeling for once. You've been treating me like shit for the entire day. I just want to mend our relationship and be happy with you Blake!"
I definitely had enough.
I stepped on the breaks, ignoring her astonished screams as the car jerked to a harsh stop. Her back slammed against the seat of the car and I snapped my head towards her, my grip tightening on my steering wheel as a sudden surge of rage ignited within me.
"Erika, Listen! I don't want anything to do with you. I treated you badly for a day- rightfully so- and you're crying as if it wasn't deserved when you treated me horribly on the most important day of my LIFE. I fucking loved you god damn it, and you rammed it in my face, stole half of my heart and ran off to Carl just to marry him later on. Now you wanna mend our relationship? What fucking relationship!?
The only relationship I'm looking forward to and is actually worth my time, breath and love is the one with the woman who isn't sitting beside me in this goddamn car. Instead, I have you, a poor excuse of a woman who thinks just because she's beautiful and just because she once had my heart she can manipulate me into getting back with her. Over my dead body, Erika."
"Blake, I'm so sorry, for everything I did to you-"
"Get out of the car."
"What?"
"I said get out!"
"Blake..."
Against my will, my vision blurred as I stared back at her, my mind raced with thoughts, with all these voices ringing in my head, telling me to distance myself from this woman because every time I think I've made progress she resets me, whether that's by just the mere thought of her or seeing her again.
"You can't do this to me, Erika. If you love me like you say you do you'll stop trying to convince me to be with you because I just don't want to. I've moved on with my life, I don't love you anymore, I don't want to be with you anymore and as harsh as that may sound it's the truth.
After everything you put me through; ripping years of love apart for another man especially on the day which I thought would be the beginning of the rest of our life together, you don't deserve me, hell you don't deserve me even having a civil conversation with you.
You ruined that, not me. I wanted to be with you when you didn't want to be with me and now it's your turn to taste the medicine. You don't want to hear this, Erika, but only a person with no compassion, love, sympathy or even basic human loving emotions would do something like that to someone. And unfortunately, you're everything I just described."
I wiped away the tears that trickled down my cheeks and averted my gaze from her piercing green eyes, the eyes I was once so lost in, deep in the forest that lied behind her blinding gaze. But finally, I navigated my way out of the forest.
No doubt I encounter feral animals attacking me left and right, hurdles, I've gotten lost along the way, I've cried under the trees on lonely nights and I've sung my sorrows to the stars. . .but in the end I found my way out of the forest.
And I'm damn proud of myself.
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