❝Don't wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now, otherwise you'll run out of time.❞
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Rain was pouring heavily outside my window. Trees were billowing in the wind and the sky had taken on a darkish grey hue. I could feel my heart thumping wildly at the sight. It reminded me of something, of someone, but I couldn't place what it was. My mind was drawing a blank. As the sky shed its tears, so did I.
It was odd. I didn't know why I was crying, but my heart acted like it was nothing out of the blue. I'd been feeling down all day. Apparently it was written all over my face, because Dad even came in and told me a few of his jokes to "lighten the mood". I tried calling Will several times, but he never picked up.
Was he mad at me? Did I do something wrong? I considered the possibility of his absence being the reason behind my terrible mood, but it didn't fit together. Will was great and all, but I didn't depend on him every second of every day for happiness. That was a limit I couldn't cross.
"Holly?" Granddad called from my doorway. I lifted my head from my knees and swiftly brushed away the tears.
"Oh, honey, don't cry. He'll come back to you, I'm sure of it," Granddad said gruffly, wheeling himself into the room.
"Who, Granddad?" I found myself asking. Surely he didn't mean Will. It'd only been a day. Surely I couldn't be crying over something so silly, right? Surely.
"That fella of yours, William. Nice lad, that one. I've seen how happy he makes you. He won't be gone for long, Holly."
"Daisy," I said softly, breaking into a smile. His eyes crinkled. "Ah, see, there's the smile I wanted to see. Now don't go crying over these boys, Holly. That's mine and your father's job when we walk you down that aisle."
"Woah, Granddad, I'm just seventeen!" I giggled.
"I know," he said, with a wistful smile. "And that means you still have so much time left, Holly. Don't waste it. Before you know it, you'll be grey and wrinkly just like your old man." He let a chuckle escape his lips and I leaned forward to give him a peck on the cheek.
"He might need some time off right now, your young lad, but he'll be there to see you in his black suit one day."
"Oh, Granddad stop making me cry harder!" I fussed, furiously wiping away tears.
"Come on, now. Get out of this room and cheer up. Charlotte's here and I want you to join us in the kitchen. Your father and I decided we should play a good game of rummy."
Granddad loved to play cards. He said it was his and Gran's favourite past time back in the days. It was sweet how he kept her memory alive in the smallest of ways. I wondered if people would do that for me after I left.
"I'm in!" I said, hopping off the window seat and following his wheelchair into the kitchen.
Charlotte looked lovely as always in a midi floral dress with a pashmina cardigan thrown over it. I threw her a warm smile and slid into the chair beside Dad.
"Feeling better, Daze?" he asked, and I nodded numbly. Charlotte placed her warm hand over mine. "Do you want me to make you a cup of cocoa?" she asked gently.
I felt my heart swelling with love for the woman who I'd only met a little over a month ago. She was already starting to feel like family. Growing up without a mother was something I didn't have to learn to battle with because I never knew how it felt to have one in the first place.
It was always just Dad, Granddad and I. There were never any older women in the house, and that's why Charlotte's company was especially nice.
I nodded, and Charlotte slowly made her way to the countertop. Granddad began to shuffle the deck, when Dad started to tell me a story about his sister's first breakup.
Dad had four older sisters- Celia, Brenda, Nadine and Rebecca. Aunt Celia was a grandmother to two beautiful girls, Valerie, who was six, and Kylie, who'd just turned two. Most of my Dad's side family claimed that Valerie looked a lot like me, which was odd because I got most of my features from my mom's side, but it made me happy nonetheless. It made me think of myself as Valerie's role model, and that gave me a purpose of sorts.
Aunt Brenda had a daughter, Natalie, who'd just headed off to college, and Aunt Nadine had a son, Adam, who was my age. Adam used to go to my school, back when he lived in our neighbourhood a year ago, and we were extremely close. Once they moved out of the neighbourhood, due to Uncle Tim's work, he moved schools too. We still talked on the phone from time to time, but I missed having him close by. A twin brother was something I'd always wished for, and Adam was a close second.
Natalie played the role of the big sister pretty well when she came by, and she always made sure to catch me up on all the things I needed to learn about in order to be a girl. She showed me how to put on makeup and fishtail my hair. She even showed me how to bake chocolate chip cookies one time! I really looked up to Natalie and sometimes wished she was my own big sister. It would've been nice to grow up alongside someone.
Aunt Rebecca was probably the coolest of the siblings, after my dad. She was single and loved to pamper me with all sorts of gifts every time she visited. And the best part about her was her advice. She was the easiest person to talk to in my family and I loved going over to her place in the city for sleepovers when Dad had late night meetings and work-related dinner plans.
"And then Beck asked him if he wanted to see a magic trick," Dad said, his eyes twinkling. Although he never said it aloud, I knew that Aunt Rebecca was his favourite too.
"When he agreed, she just tapped on his head and said, 'Poof, you're single.'"
I lost it. "SHE DID THAT?" I asked, cracking up.
"She found it on Pinterest, she laughed really hard, she decided she needed to do it for herself," Dad said, having a good laugh himself.
"You had me till the doing it for herself part. I could never have the guts to do something like that," I confessed.
"Your Aunt Rebecca was always a handful," Granddad chuckled.
He was my mother's father, but he lived in the same neighbourhood as my dad did. He was best friends with my father's mother, Grandma Louise, up until she passed away last summer. It's like my parents were meant to be together from the start.
"Dad, when did you tell Granddad that you wanted to marry Mom?" I asked, in the middle of our game. Charlotte returned with four cups of hot chocolate, and I gratefully took one from her.
"It was a night like this one, wasn't it, Henry?" Granddad shared a knowing smile with Dad, and they both looked out the window. The rain was pouring even heavier then, and I could feel the sadness washing over me again for unknown reasons.
Was it just me, or was I beginning to sound like Antonio from The Merchant of Venice?
"It was, it was," Dad smiled. "Your mother and I were out taking a stroll and it began to pour, so we went straight over to her house. Your grandfather was sitting right on the front porch when we arrived, soaking wet, and he had a huge smile on his face."
"The two of them had been away at different colleges the whole year, so it delighted me that they were catching up and talking like the old times," Granddad said.
"Oh, I remember that. Your mother was such a talented woman, Daisy. It was a shame when she shut down the school," Dad shook his head in disappointment.
"Her ballet was important, but she wanted the best for you. Her family was always the most important thing to her," Granddad interjected.
"She couldn't do both?" I wondered aloud. "Oh, honey, the decision to be a mother is an overwhelming one, but you must make it with the whole of your heart. If you have even a single regret, it means you aren't ready yet. The fact that your mother gave up everything for you shows how much she wanted for you. She loved you," Charlotte said warmly.
"She was so good to Catherine. They were just like you and Eve. Alora always made sure she'd be there for Cath, the way Eve will always look out for you," Granddad chipped in.
"Eve?" I asked, confused. We didn't talk about Mom's side of the family much, so I presumed she was just one of my cousins.
"Nevermind," Dad said, with a little swipe of his hand. He threw Granddad a warning look that was pretty hard to miss, but I didn't question it.
Dad hadn't talked to Aunt Catherine in ages. She was Mom's younger sister and Dad cut off all ties with that side of the family after Mom's death, claiming that it hurt too much to be reminded of her. Except Granddad, of course. He was more like a father to Dad as he was growing up. He couldn't bear to leave all that behind.
"Daisy, come with me for a moment," Granddad said, starting to wheel himself away from the kitchen table.
"What about the game?" Dad asked, annoyed that his almost-win was being discarded.
"Just give me a moment, Henry," Granddad called back, and Dad and Charlotte began to discuss the short term memory loss pills he couldn't remember to take. The irony, I'm telling you.
"Holly?"
"Coming, Granddad!" I shouted back, following him into the living room. He turned his wheelchair to face me directly, then pulled an old metal chain out of his pocket. On it was strung a single flower pendant. A daisy, I realised with a jolt. It was my grandmother's daisy necklace.
"I gave this to your grandmother the day I told her I loved her," he said softly. I felt tears welling in my eyes.
"Now, I want to give it to you, Daisy," he said, motioning for me to turn around.
"Holly," I said, then winced. "Wait, you said it right this time!"
"Oh did I? That's right, Holly!" He smiled. Said it too soon.
I let Granddad fasten the necklace around my neck and felt the cool metal brush against my skin. I let the memory of my grandmother stay with me in that pendant and promised myself I'd never take it off.
My family was so incredibly important to me. My dad, Granddad, and now Charlotte too.
I made a vow to myself then to spend more time with them like I had that night, laughing and sharing stories of the past while playing cards and drinking hot chocolate.
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