❝Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets.❞
~Kevin Plank
• • •
People come into your life like new books waiting to be opened. You catch a whiff of their scent, you discover word by word of their stories.
Eventually, there will come a time when you become inseparable. You're hooked onto their little quirks and hidden mysteries. You're latched onto their plot.
But then there will come a moment when you reach your climax: a fight scene, a betrayal, a week of silence, a plot twist.
And finally, it's over.
Your friendship.
Your story.
The words you etched into each other's hearts.
There is no such thing as a happy ending when it comes to these stories.
For in the story of friendship, there never should come an ending.
I pressed publish, not thinking twice about it. I knew that if I contemplated too hard, I'd let insecurity overtake me and stop me from putting up the poem.
I knew it wasn't my best, but it helped me vent out my feelings, and that's what I loved most about it. I had a personal connection to this particular poem because it shed light on my situation with Ashley.
I guess that's why I kept her around. It's because I believed there was no such things as endings in friendship. If you ever loved each other, you can't let it go. Love can never truly die. It just loses its magic slowly over time. Fights and betrayals are just catalysts of the reaction.
A few years ago, Ashley and I were almost as close as Riley and I were. We used to sing together all the time. She'd take melody and I'd sing the harmonies. She still had Stacy and I still had Riley, but it was clear we were great together.
All that changed when Austin came into the picture. It wasn't Ashley's fault. She didn't know he was with me at the time. In fact, no one knew but Riley and the rest of our band. I wasn't in touch with the others anymore, apart from my cousin Adam who came to visit once in a while. He had a crush on Riley for the longest time, but her being the queen of obliviousness, never knew. I hoped that Adam would come to visit sometime and finally admit his feelings for Riley. I shipped those two hardcore.
Anyway, back to Ashley: it wasn't her fault. I knew that. But I couldn't help but still dislike her for it. It was a feeling I wasn't able to describe. It was entirely Austin's fault, but then again, Ashley did know that I liked Austin. So what if she didn't know things had escalated between us? She still knew she was hurting me and she did it anyway.
She apologized even before I confronted her, which was one thing I had to give her credit for. After I told her the full story and how we were dating, her guilt was immeasurable. She and I both knew our friendship wouldn't last.
She tried several times to get things to normal between us, but her attempts were futile. I wouldn't budge. She hurt me and I wasn't going to add salt to the wound by letting myself go back down those roads. With either of them.
I still talked to Ashley when we were with the rest of the group, and I occasionally acknowledged Austin when I stayed over at Riley's house. But that was the end of my interactions. I could be pretty stubborn when I wanted to be, and that was one quality I loved in myself.
"You seem deep in thought," Ace remarked. His hands were intertwined with Kevin's and the glee was practically radiating from the both of them. I fought the urge to swoon.
"Oh, it's nothing," I said, shaking my head. They both shared a look, then turned to me in amusement. "Are you thinking about Will again?" Kevin asked, a teasing grin on his face.
"Oh, she is! Look at that blush!" Ace exclaimed, pinching my cheek.
"She's probably thinking about the colour of his eyes and the way his hair falls so gently over his eyes, and the sound of his voice and-"
"Kevin, you're dating me, not Will!" Ace whined, chuckling. Kevin beamed, looking at Ace with nothing short of adoration. "I know, and I couldn't be happier," he sighed.
I couldn't help but swoon this time. The two of them looked so hopelessly in love that I decided to give them some alone time. I retreated to class early in order to work on my script for the annual production.
Ms. Violet and Mr. Todd were on my back trying to get me to start on it, but I was completely stumped on ideas. The theatre club usually performed classics, fairytales and a hell lot of Shakespeare. Being a fan of all of those, I couldn't help but join in Draven's disappointment that we couldn't follow the same pattern as always.
"What are you thinking about?" I heard Will ask, and I looked up to see him dressed in a white shirt with a burgundy sweater on top. Put together with his glasses, the whole outfit screamed nerd. I loved it.
"What makes you think I'm thinking about something?" I asked, letting out a loose breath. I was incredibly transparent. Everyone told me so. It was both a blessing and curse. Blessing because people could know what I was feeling without needing to ask, which saved me from the need to talk. For someone who's socially awkward, that's a serious plus point. And curse, for obvious reasons.
"You always tap your pencil against your forehead when you're thinking really hard," he said, and I giggled. "I do that?" I asked, then eyed the pencil held at a level same as my forehead. I sheepishly lowered the pencil down and gave him an embarrassed smile. "Okay, so I do that."
"Now before you ask what I'm thinking about, I'm not thinking about anything in particular. I'm sort of just thinking about thinking. Does that make sense? Or like, I'm planning what to think about."
"Can you do that?" he laughed.
"Yeah, it's sort of like how you think about what you're going to say to someone. Except, you're thinking about what you're going to say to yourself," I said, then cringed. "Yikes, I sound lonely."
He laughed some more. "You're so adorable," he said, taking a seat beside me. I was under attack by butterflies yet again.
After a moment of silence, I let out a sigh of frustration. "Okay, so now I can't stop thinking. Help," I muttered, resting my head on the desk.
He put a hand on my shoulder, and I felt myself stiffen up with nervousness. I'm sure he sensed it too, but didn't say anything in reaction to it. "Talk to me about it. Is something bothering you?" he asked, beginning to sound like a therapist.
"No. I mean, yes. Sort of," I said tentatively. I could feel his breathing beside me, and felt my own breath get taken away.
"What happened? You can talk to me, you know. I'm not going to judge you for it," he said, and I slowly lifted my head off of the desk. I probably looked like a frightened child who's being forced to interact with some guests.
"Well, it's sort of a long story and hardly anyone knows about it," I managed weakly. "Also, it's pretty old news, so I'm not really sure what you can do about it or why it's bothering me now of all times," I added as an afterthought.
He nodded. "Go on," he said. I cleared my throat for dramatic effect. "Once upon a time, there was a girl named Elody. She loved reading cliche romance books about falling for her best friend's brother. One day, her bookish fantasy became a reality. Before she knew it, she had fallen in love with none other than her best friend's brother."
Will had gone oddly still, but perhaps that was just him being a good listener. I took it as a cue to go on. "Plot twist- he fell for her too. The two of them got together, and unlike any romance book ever, the best friend was alright with it. In fact, she encouraged it. She knew the two people she cared about the most cared equally hard for each other and was incredibly supportive throughout the relationship."
I really had to hand it to Riley. She was so mature about it. It was evident that it bothered her a bit when we discluded her from outings and shared inside jokes. I guess she knew that someday she would fall in love too, and I'd be placed in the same position as her.
"But then they drowned in the cliches all over again. There came the popular pretty cheerleader, who also happened to be one of Elody's best friends. The best friend's brother decided to cheat on Elody with the cheerleader because why not? After that, Elody decided to break up with his dumb face, she chose to cut off all ties with the cheerleader and voila. They all lived happily ever after," I finished.
"When did you start dating Austin?" he asked, his voice nothing but a whisper. It wasn't him figuring out it was Austin that surprised me. That was fairly obvious. It was that that was all he could say. After I'd just poured out my life story to him, the only thing he asked was when we'd gotten together. Did he not care about me even a sliver?
"June last year," I said, clearly annoyed. Something changed in his expression then. It's like there was a bomb ticking inside of him and at the sound of my words, it had finally gone off.
"I'm sorry," he said, clearly blinking back tears. "I'm sorry," he choked out again, picking up his bag. Without another word, he ran out of the classroom before the tears could run down his face.
. . .
A/N Why would Will be so upset?