Eli stepped out of the stagecoach, letting the door slap closed behind him. Here he was, back at the Lancechester manor, the tanned brick structure wherein his beloved Jasper lived. As the wheels of the stagecoach crunched behind him, now leaving him in this place, he stared inanely up at the massive front doors.
NO!
He held his breath and closed his eyes when the echo mocked his thoughts. That voice, the one in his head, was still screaming desperately. It was so deafening and frightening that Eli trembled even now, hours later after hearing it and realizing it was his own.
Please, stop!
But, as expected, his pleading and cries had gone unanswered, tossed aside like sullied washcloths. The franticness of that one moment, that shuddering moment of losing one of the most important things had shattered Eli's foundation, his wellbeing, his outlook, a piece of what kept him secure had been snatched from under his feet.
Silas Rosenkrantz was gone.
Eli approached the steps leading to the door and sat down on the last one. Facing out toward the stretch of path away from the manor, he watched the horizon, the same sequence of colors he and Silas had watched the evening before. He could still feel Silas' mild touch on his hand, see the gleam of the other boy's glasses in his peripheral, smell the iron rose scent of his hair, but for all he could, Eli couldn't hear Silas' voice.
And the worst part in all of this was...he'd never know the outcome of Silas' detainment. Eli had begged down on his knees, tried to appeal with his parents to help keep Silas once the authorities came, but, unfortunately, once Mr. and Mrs. Goode heard the reason for Silas' arrest, they wanted him nowhere near either Eli or their property. For all anyone knew, the boy could be rotting in a cell, or could be hanging from a–.
"Welcome back."
Eli snapped to reality at the sound of a dry, husky voice. Although he could hear it, it was not one he wanted to acknowledge. Eli took in a chest of air and blinked the water in his eyes dry. Keeping his mood vieled, Eli stood and faced Samuel, "It's good to be back," he said.
The old man gave a pale smile, "The Young Master will be pleased to see you. He should be home in good time."
Eli furrowed his brow, "Jasper isn't here?"
Samuel shook his head, "I'm afraid not. He and the Lady should be on their way back from Gretna Green."
Almost missing a step, Eli looked up at Samuel, "He and Darcy are getting married as we speak?"
Samuel gestured for Eli to come inside when a cold flurry of wind spiraled up. "They should be wedded at the moment, yes. I'd give his arrival a few minutes."
Eli headed up into the manor and started for the stairs when a maid, frenzied as a busybody, rushed down the spiraling steps, almost knocking into him. She was holding a pile of azure fabrics. He looked back at Samuel, "What's got her all riled up?"
Hands closed behind his back, Samuel looked as emotionless as ever, "Master Ronald arranged for a festive supper when Jasper and Darcy return."
"Festive?" The word oddly set a temper inside Eli, "What's so goddamn festive about today?"
As Eli continued up the stairs, Samuel figured already that there had to be something significant bothering the lad. He'd have asked what was the matter, but thought it best to leave him be.
When Eli reached his chamber, he stood in the doorframe for a moment, taking in the large extravagant bedroom. The massive bed was made, the curtains drawn shut, light fixtures doused. He closed the door behind him, leaving the bedroom dark but a hint of light was coming from the windows, and he paced slowly to the bed. Reaching out, Eli stroked his fingers along the mattress. He brought up and knee next, and dropped upon the yielding surface.
Once his head hit the soft bedding, a wretched flash of past events flickered behind his eyes. Silas being seized, taken forcefully by the arms, slammed to the ground – Eli turned over, eyes closed tight as another taunted him – A heavy boot cracking Silas' thin rimmed glasses, and then the voice came again, and Eli covered his ears with his hands. The trick didn't work. He could still hear his screams echoing on and on with no end.
"Silence..." he said, curling into himself like a child frightened of the dark. "Silence...please."
_
Jasper sat fiddling with his fingers.
With Darcy seated beside him in the back of their own stagecoach, she could see the message played out over her new husband's face. Although the day hadn't been too bad, just a long journey north, Jasper looked like someone had ripped a hole through his being. His expression was vacant as he stared at his hands, completely unmoved ever since departing from Gretna Green.
She'd tried to speak to him, but his responses were either nothing or a shrug. The sight of him like this, as a friend unable to reach over and convince him that everything would be fine, crushed her.
"Jasper," Darcy said, bringing life to the noiseless atmosphere, "We're approaching your father's manor."
At that, he responded with the lift of his gaze. He looked passed Darcy's head to see out the window, clearly searching for one thing only, but to his disappointment, Samuel was the only one standing on the steps of the front entry.
Jasper breathed out, his breath insecure, "Perhaps he is not here."
Darcy, unsure of what to say, looked toward Juliette who was sitting across from her. The quiet brunette simply reached out and gave Jasper's knee a light squeeze, hoping together that Eli had returned this afternoon.
When the coach at last halted, Jasper had to contain himself from bolting out of the rear. He had to keep in mind that no matter how frenzied he was on the inside, no matter how much he wanted to release this veil, there were always people around who would question his every move.
So...to keep things naturally flowing, he waited a moment and offered Darcy a hand. With her hand in his grasp, he looked down at the ring on her finger, the glistening jewel placed there by him. Although it was stunning in all it's loveliness, he didn't much like the sight of it. It brought ownership to something that wasn't his. Darcy's heart belonged to Juliette, but now everyone would think she was his to love...to hold...to cherish...when she wasn't. Maybe as a good friend, but certainly nothing more.
"I'm surprised you're not running," Darcy said, "You can go, Jasper, I know my way into the manor."
Jasper presented a slim smile, catching sight of the handler sitting atop the coach. Then he leaned forward and planted a subtle kiss on her cheek. "I will see you inside."
With that, Jasper, calmly, made his way up the steps and into the manor. Maids and servers were moving about, preparing for the wretched dinner his father had planned. Ignoring them, he climbed the stairs.
Coming to a stop at the second floor, Jasper's chest constricted. Eli's chamber door was shut and no light was emitting from the bottom.
"There you are, Young Jasper." Samuel loomed over his shoulder. "I can see your worry, though, I assure, he has returned."
Jasper gasped, ready to race for Eli's chamber, but Samuel seized his arm. "A word of caution."
"What is it Samuel? Unhand me."
"The lad does not appear to be in the mood for visitors."
Shrugging out of Samuel's grip, Jasper took a step back, looking toward Eli's chamber again. Wary, he gave the old man a nod and proceeded anyway.
Standing before the door, Jasper became unsure of himself. He wanted to burst in and throw himself at the red-haired boy, to be enclosed in those strong arms, be kissed by lips that desired his, yet, if Eli wasn't in a very good mood...maybe Jasper was the last person he wanted to see.
Still, Jasper entered the chamber, softly pushing open the silent door. A ray of light from the hall beamed into the dark room. For a second, Jasper was skeptical about someone actually being inside, but there upon the bed lay a crumbling form.
Jasper moved further inside, letting the door shut behind him. The mild weize of the table lantern didn't stir Eli, the soft glow of light bringing on the shadows that dragged up towards the high cieling. The closer Jasper got, the more he could hear a faint weeping, see the shudder of Eli's shoulders as he struggled to take in air and release it. He was curled in the center of the mattress, folded in a fetal position, seeming to drown in a woe too deep to resurface.
"Elijah..." Jasper said, his voice insecure and dim.
Eli jolted at the sound of the Young Master's call, and when they their gazes met, Jasper could hardly believe his eyes.
The red-haired boy, Elijah Goode, the eighteen year old young man who had always seemed so unshaken, appeared the most shattered anyone could ever be. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks glistening with a waterfall of tears, and his hair was disheveled.
Seeing Eli's pain showing in every way possible, Jasper reached out, instincts to care for him, but the moment his fingertips brushed the bedspread, Eli moved away, rising quickly from the bed and wiped his face until it was dry.
"I didn't hear you come in," he said.
"What's wrong?" Jasper asked, almost sounding more hurt than concerned.
Eli faced the Young Master now, his face cleared, breath trying to find it's regular manner. "Nothing, I'm fine."
"And a rather horrid liar as well," Jasper switched weight between hips. "I've never seen you cry before. Never."
"I'm fine," Eli declared, dragging two hands down his face.
Of course, Jasper didn't believe him. The guy was blubbering only seconds ago. How was he supposed to ignore this situation? Jasper said the first thing that came to mind. "It's him, isn't it?"
Eli shot the younger boy a look, a look of caution apparently, as he began his trek into uncharted territory, and Eli hoped his blonde lover would get the message. Silas was definitely on his mind, yes, but that didn't mean he wanted to discuss the bullets that would surely lead to an argument. But Jasper wasn't going to simply overlook what was going on, especially since it had been the focal point that had consumed him nearly just as much over these complex few days.
Eli bit his bottom lip before it started to quiver, he could even feel the burn of a cry fighting to be released, but he had to hold it in, with all his might, he had to hide it...
His strength withered, and with it, his body. Eli crumbled to his knees.
"Elijah!" Jasper shouted, nearly diving for the red-haired boy, but his fingers slipped Eli's sleeve.
Jasper could hardly believe the sight before his eyes, Eli, the strongest person he knew, reduced to a mess on the floor. To see this from him was not only shocking but hard to watch. "Elijah," Jasper whispered, sinking to his returned butler's level, "Please, tell me what's happened. Just speak to me."
"Oh, god..." Eli's words trailed into an ongoing sob.
"Did they take him? Tell me."
His entire body shook in uncontrollable tremors, "He's done nothing...nothing to anyone. Ever."
On his knees as well, Jasper placed his hands on Eli's shaky shoulders, "Speak to me, Elijah," he pleaded, "Tell me what's happened to Silas."
At the sound of Silas' name, Eli looked up, his glazed stare seeming to burrow into Jasper's unknowing blue eyes. "Y-you wouldn't care..." he uttered, his tone almost foreboding. "He's gone...is-isn't that something you'd have wanted?"
Jasper's jaw fell open, a quick breath sucked in. How could Eli say something like that? How could he think Jasper was that coldhearted to wish death upon another human being?...Because he was jealous? Of course, he was jealous, scorned and hurt by the thought of his only love, the only person who ever embraced his heart so tightly, to possibly choose a former love over him. It'd have been the biggest surprise if Jasper had let the whole ordeal slide, but he hadn't, because...he was jealous, and it was only natural for him to be, right!?
But death, sure the Young Master would've wished Silas away if he could've, but death...
"You think so lowly of me?" Jasper rose, his voice flat, "I can be low, Elijah, half this damned region think lowly of the kind of person I am, and I may not have accepted the mere idea of Silas, but for you to sully me with hate, you of all, is unjust."
Eli, his mind reeling and unweighted, shot to his feet, "This isn't about you!" he shouted, causing Jasper to flinch away from the boy's anger. And then, in the blink of an eye, Eli seemed to realize what he was doing, instantly regretting the words that had seeped from his mouth. "I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, "Please, forgive my insolence, I just...don't know how to deal with this."
Jasper let the grudge wash over him, setting his own nerves as well, nearly giving in to Eli's screaming match. Arguing wasn't something they needed. "What happened, then? Is it bad?"
Eli cleared his face again, finding his actions disgraceful. "They just took him. My parents, they didn't even care."
"You don't know of his whereabouts? His punishment?"
"No," Eli answered, relieved to see Jasper wasn't ripping him to shreds for raising his voice a second ago. "He could be in chains or-," he didn't want to finish, "-something much worse."
Jasper stepped closer to the red-haired boy, placing his hands on Eli's chest. "I'm sorry for your pain," he said, "I cannot say I am not happy to see you have returned to me, but I wish this hurt you are feeling wasn't effecting you the way it is. I'm so sorry."
Eli held Jasper's hands, looking over the skinny fingers that belonged to the person who'd been his reason for staying strong. He shouldn't be weakened now. Not after all this time. "You have no reason to apologize to me right now. I should be the sorry one, for raising my voice to you."
Offering a thin smile, Jasper inched closer and closer to Eli's lips when the chamber door opened.
Eli turned his body while the Young Master faced Anna, Beatrice's personal maid, her flowing black hair wrapped in a bun. When seeing Jasper in the room as well, she took a step back in surprise. "Oh, apologies, Young Master. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Jasper thought of her presence as needless, "What are you doing in here?" he demanded, more rudely than initially intended.
Anna stuttered, "Um, I w-was just stopping by to welcome Eli b-back to the manor."
"You hear that," Jasper said to Eli, "She's welcoming you."
When hearing the sarcasm in Jasper's words, Eli just offered a weedy smile, "Hello, Anna," he said.
After Anna disappeared from the room again, Jasper found it necessary for him to get back down stairs before his father wondered where he was. They all had to prepare for supper, and he couldn't leave Darcy unattended for much longer.
"I won't be able to speak properly with you for the rest of the evening, so...goodnight, ahead of time."
Eli kissed Jasper's forehead, and then, with a morsel of hesitation, kissed the boy's lips. "I will speak with you in the morning?"
"Yes," Jasper smiled, genuinely, "I love you, Elijah...more than anything this world could ever offer me."
Eli couldn't help himself from gathering another kiss, savoring the sweet feel against his as though it would be the last time they'd share this, allowing their tongues to sweep across one another, until he finally pulled away, hands still cupping the Young Master's face, "Goodnight, my love."
With Jasper having exited the room after, Eli swore under his breath. It'd happened again, the flashes of those brown eyes staring at him through glassed frames, Silas Rosenkrantz, fogging up his mind the moment his lips brushed Jasper's...and he had let it be, silently wished for it, in fact.
"Stop this, Eli," he said to himself, "Stop this before you hurt someone."
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