"Where are you going?" I ask Thomas. He had walked out his room dressed in skinny jeans and a black graphic tee five minutes prior and as just about to walk out the front door.
A brief pained expression crosses his face. "The gig's tonight May," he replies softly, almost as if he was hoping I wouldn't hear.
I suck in a deep breath. "Right," I mutter. "Good luck," I say a little louder.
He flashes me a quick smile before heading out the door.
I sigh and flop back against the couch. Thomas has told me a few days ago that Fiona decided to kick Hannah out of the band and if I was being honest, I couldn't see it happening. It's not that I thought that Fiona or Thomas were lying, but I know them. They're almost like golden retrievers, they're loyal and Hannah is a life-long friend. And although the code blue the other night hadn't fixed things completely, it had made them better
"Hey Maya!" Abigail calls, there the thud of footsteps coming down the stairs before she appears in front of me. "Got any plans tonight?"
I offer the ghost of a smile. "No."
She puts her hands on her hips. "Well, surprisingly, neither do I." That was weird, Abigail was always out doing something. "So I propose a girls night, we can watch all the sad romance movies on Netflix and gorge on ice-cream and popcorn."
"Sounds great."
Abigail pulls me off the couch, much to my protest, I was feeling particularly lazy today. After raiding the pantry and fridge, we find ourselves in the home theatre, surrounded by enough food to feed a small army.
Abigail puts on a movie I'd never heard of, letting it play in the background, before turning to me. "So what's been going on?" she asks.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reply.
"Come on, don't play dumb. What even happened between you and Luke? You never told me."
Abigail was right, she didn't really know what happened that night, so with a sigh, I begin the story. I tell her the feelings I'd been having of not being good enough for Luke and how we fought over it, I told her how he'd gone to Hannah and how Hannah kissed him but he delayed in pushing her away. I told her how it had gotten me kicked out of the band.
Once I finished my spiel, she rolls her eyes. "Teenagers," she mutters. Just as I'm about to open my mouth to tell her that she's fifteen, she continues. "Ever thought that maybe he was delayed in pushing her away because he was shocked? I sure as hell would be shocked if one of my childhood best friends randomly kissed me in front of my girlfriend."
I hated to admit it, but she had a point. Luke wasn't the problem, I was. It wasn't him that couldn't be trusted, it was I that couldn't trust. "You're right," I finally admit.
"Of course I'm damn well right. And as for this whole band thing, it's only a matter of time before they come begging for you to re-join. I've known them most of my life too, you know."
"When did you get so wise? When I first met you, you were this prissy pink brat, no offense, now you're basically Abigail, Goddess, of Wisdom," I joke.
She leans back against the couch and shrugs. "What can I say? High school's changed me." I simply offer a laugh.
We spend the rest of the night exactly like that, movies playing in the background while we eat and talk about everything. Abigail tells me about her Mom and I tell her and my Dad and Ash. Abigail tells me about Michael and I tell her about what it was like to be with Luke.
It's eleven when Thomas walks in, his eyes widening at the sheer amount of empty packs of food tossed haphazardly on the floor. "How was it?" Abigail asks as he falls back onto the couch.
"Great," he replies half-heartedly.
"Woah, don't get too excited," I says, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
He sighs. "I don't know, it was wasn't the same. With Hannah, it doesn't feel like we're a band, more like everyone's there to see her and we're just there to support her. She has no chemistry with the band, not like you did," he admits.
Abigail shoots me a knowing, 'I-told-you-so' look.
"Fiona's going to let her know she's no longer part of the band tomorrow, not too sure how that'll go down," he chuckles humourlessly.
"You don't need her, if you guys actually sung you could make it as a trio," I reply.
Abigail gives me a 'what are you doing?' look.
Thomas smiles knowingly. "I suppose you're right."
"Of course I'm damn well right," I laugh, quoting Abigail from earlier.
Once the movies ends, we all head to our rooms. I can't help but lay in bed wide-awake. I couldn't get what Abigail said out of my head, it was my fault. I'd freaked out and pushed everyone away. The real question was could I fix it?
I toss and turn all night, in truth I hadn't gotten a proper night's sleep since I had been with Luke. It was like he was my dreamcatcher. It was needless to say I was exhausted the next morning.
I rub my eyes as I make my way downstairs in desperate search of some sugar to energise me. Unfortunately, the she-demon decided to join me just as I was sitting down at the table with a bowl of sugary cereal.
My Mother stands above me menacingly, her hair pulled back into an immaculate bun and her clothes clinging to her body.
"Is what true?" I ask, my mouth full of cereal.
"Did you break up with Brad?" she asks calmly.
"How did you even find out?' I ask incredulously.
"I take it its true then. I'm disappointed in you Amaia. I didn't raise you to be like this."
I put down my spoon and look up at her. "You know what? I'm disappointed in you. You may not have raised me to be like this, but Dad did and I'm glad because I don't want to be like you! All you do is screw people over and eventually, you'll end up alone and with nothing," I snap.
My Mother's visibly taken aback but for once, she doesn't have a comeback and simply walks away, leaving me to get my sugar fix.
Sometime later, Thomas rushes downstairs, spouting some crap about being late.
"Late for what? It's nine on a Saturday morning," I comment.
"Well it's... I got something on okay!" I he rushes, buttering a slice of toast.
"Are you late for a very important date?" I joke/
"Haha," he says dryly.
"What with the rush?" Alexander laughs as he comes downstairs, taking in Thomas' frazzled appearance.
"Rehearsal," I rushes, grabbing his coat by the door.
"Oh, so you'll tell him but not me?" I joke. "I've never seen you this excited for rehearsal."
"Luke told us to get there early. Bye!" He says as he rushes out the door.
"Weird," Alexander and I say simultaneously.
I spend the morning lazing around the house, Abigail has gone out with Michael, my Mother no doubt with her boy toy and Alexander was doing work in his office. By noon, I was tired of being lazy, I just had to get out of the house and do something.
That's how I found myself walking inside of a particular diner an hour later. A familiar head of black hair looks up when I enter and offers a faint smile, which I return.
"What can I get you?" Stella asks after I've sat down, the air feeling awkward.
"Uh, a chocolate shake and hamburger, thanks Stella," I reply.
"Coming right up," she goes to walk away before pausing and turning to me. "How have you been Maya?"
I laugh humourlessly. "Want the truth?" she nods. "I've been a mess ever since..." I trail off.
Stella nods. "He has been too." She walks away.
"Did you drive here?" Stella asks when she places my food in front of me a mere ten minutes later.
I shake my head. "Walked."
She frowns. "That's pretty far," she pauses. "Well I get off in twenty, if you're willing to hang around, I'll give you a lift home."
I smile. "That'd be great, thanks Stells."
I take a bite of my burger, the familiar smell and overall deliciousness giving me serious de ja vu. The only difference is that this time, I'm alone. The worst part? It's all my fault.
"Ready to go?" Stella asks. I nod.
She leads me out to an old beat up car that resembles Luke's. As we drive, I can't help but wonder if she blames me for what happened, it was my fault after all. But at the same time, if she did, why did she offer to drive me home?
"You know, I don't blame you for breaking up with my brother," she finally says, answering my thoughts. "Yeah, it might have been a little hasty but there were faults on both sides. I'll admit, I was angry at first but at the end of the day, you're my friend too." She silent. "He wrote a song you know, I heard it. Let's just say I don't think he's letting you go so easily."
My heart warms when she calls me her friend. "Thanks Stella, I needed to hear that."
With her eyes still focused on the road, she replies. "I know."
We soon arrive at my house and with a quick thanks and farewell, I jump out the car. Just minutes after falling back onto my bed, my phone vibrates with a text. Pulling out my phone, I realise it's from Luke.
Watch the video.
A link to a YouTube video's attached. I click on the link and am directed to a video of the band titled Addressing some stuff + Outer Space/Carry On
The first thing I notice when the video starts is the tired expressions of Adam, Luke and Thomas. The basement is messier than usual.
"Hey guys," Thomas greets. "This is Dusk To Dawn. And as you may have noticed by now, we're missing a couple members."
Luke takes over from his place at the drum kit. "Because of some recent drama, Hannah's no longer in the band and neither's Maya. So we decided to suck it up and try out hand at singing for once. And I'm going to be straight, this song's for Maya and I don't know, I guess it's just everything I want to say to her but just can't." He pauses. "You know, I say song but technically it's song's, plural. You'll see. This is Outer Space/Carry On."
From the start, I can tell the song's nothing like Luke or I had ever written before, it's so much better.
Luke's sweet voice fills my ears as his drumming fades into silence. "I can still taste the ocean like it was today. You said, "Please, keep on holding your hands." And the rain—it came too soon. I will wait for you to love me again."
Thomas' voice then begins singing the chorus. For someone who claimed they couldn't sing, he was awfully good. "I guess I was running from something, I was running back to you. Lost here in London with nothing, I'm still running back to you. If you can love me again, I could let go of everything."
Luke sings the verse again. "If I was an island in search of castaways, maybe I'll find you here. And the rain—it came too soon. I will wait for you to love me again."
Adam sings the chorus, his voice sweet and innocent. "I guess I was running from something, I was running back to you. Lost here in London with nothing, I'm still running back to you. If you could love me again, I could let go of everything."
The guitars soften as Thomas takes over, Adam doing the high harmonies. "The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side "The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side. The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side. The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side."
Luke then takes over, singing while simultaneously playing the drums. "Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain when you're in outer space, when you're in outer space. Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain when you're in outer space, when you're in outer space. Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain when you're in outer space, when you're in outer space. Nothing like the rain, nothing like the rain when you're in outer space, when you're in outer space. Love me like you did, love me like you did I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything. Love me like you did, love me like you did. I'll give you anything, I'll give you anything."
The music then fades into a soft beat as Luke continues singing, the others providing the background vocals. "Carry on, let the good times roll
Sail on, let your path unfold
It won't be long, won't be long, won't be long
You know it's gonna get better, you know it's gonna get better
Say a prayer for the broken bones
'Cause who cares? We're all going home
And it won't be long, won't be long, won't be long
You know it's gonna get better, you know it's gonna get better
I got one foot in the golden life, one foot in the gutter
So close to the other side, so far from the wonder
I got one foot in the golden life, one foot in the gutter
So sick of the tug of war, it keeps pulling me under
Let the good times roll
Let the good times roll
Carry on, outlast the ignorance
Moving on, survive the innocence
Won't be long, won't be long, won't be long
You know it's gonna get better."
Emotions overwhelm me as the video ends, did he really mean it? Was there a chance for us? I scroll through the comments.
Can I have a Luke? He's so adorable
Please take him back Maya!
I love the boys singing but the band's not really the same without Maya tbh
Was it possible that I actually belonged somewhere? That someone actually needed me as much as I needed them? It was something that I had been vehemently denying because I didn't want to get my hopes but now it was too late, they were up.
But strangely, I wasn't scared.