Once the furor died down and requests for academic papers from Severus diminished, he made an out-of-character request of Lin, which she took very seriously as it was rare for him to make a request of any kind. He asked for her company on any evening of her choosing, and asked that a sitter be found for Niketas. Most women would expect a pleasant, if not romantic, surprise, but Lin knew all too well that Severus was anything but a typical man.
Lin descended the cellar stairs and found Severus slowly pacing the confines of his private courtyard and looking very pensive. "Is there a dress code for the evening?"
"No," said Severus. "Is Niketas taken care of?"
"Minerva just picked him up. She asked to keep him for a few days."
"I want to take you somewhere. Are you ready?"
"Whenever you are," said Lin, and Severus held his arm out for her to take. They disapparated with a barely audible crack. They appeared in a dark narrow alley set between two dilapidated brick houses. The night sky was overcast, and they were pelted by a steady cold drizzle. Lin took her cue from Severus and remained silent and still until he led her quickly yet quietly across the street to another dilapidated brick house identical to all the others that she could see.
There wasn't a single functional street light and Severus didn't light his wand tip, which made it very hard to see, though Severus had no trouble finding his way. He led her into one of the houses and used his wand to open the door rather than grasping the doorknob with his bare hand. The door seemed unnaturally silent to her as it smoothly swung out of the way. They stood in a cold dark room. Lin was motionless, but she could feel Severus moving his wand arm because she was clinging tightly to his other arm. She didn't make a sound as she knew that Severus was using non-verbal magic to detect anything unfriendly. A casual flick of his wand brought dim light to the room. Lin blinked as her eyes adjusted to the sudden burst of pale-orange light that flickered from a candle-filled lamp that hung from the cracked and cobweb-filled plaster ceiling.
Lin looked around at a small, oppressive, dust-laden room lined on three sides by simply crafted, utilitarian, floor-to-ceiling bookcases packed with dusty, old, leather-bound books. Slightly off-center of the tiny room sat a small, ancient-looking and dirty, tattered sofa accompanied by a mismatched and equally dirty and tattered armchair. Between the unloved and uninviting furniture sat a small, very plain, decrepit and wobbly wooden table.
Severus tapped his wand on one of the bookcases, which instantly moved aside to reveal a closed wooden door that opened to a narrow dusty hallway with a room to one side and a dusty, poorly maintained staircase to the other. In the middle of the little hallway hung another candle-filled lamp, the dim orange glow from it enhanced the generally uneasy feeling created by the house itself.
"Look around, Lin. Take it all in." Severus' voice was low and silky, yet its sudden presence was jarring. "I grew up here, in this derelict desiccated hovel. It belonged to my parents. Now it's mine, and I am its."
"What are you telling me?"
"You think you love me. You think you see good things in me." Severus moved his wand in a circular motion to indicate that he was referring to the house itself. "I want you to see what I really am, straight down to my core."
"This is an empty building, Severus. It's a thing. You're a man—a complicated one, I admit—but loath as you are to acknowledge it, you're a living feeling being."
Severus' voice remained soft, but a tinge of danger had crept into it. "I am a Death Eater, a menace, a bully. I am a miserable—"
"Stop it!" shouted Lin, and her voice seemed to perturb the eerie silence that covered the house like a burial shroud. "You can denigrate yourself to me all you want, but I do see the good in you." Severus snorted. "I see what Lily saw, and Albus too." Mentioning Lily's name bordered on emotional blackmail, and Severus was clearly shaken by the sound of it.
"I'm not the person Lily knew. Two wars and one Dark Lord have changed me forever. And Merlin only knows what Dumbledore saw in anyone. My life has been mired in darkness right from the very start. Binding yourself to me means you're binding yourself to it, and I don't want that for you or Niketas."
"We all experience darkness, Severus, and we all have it inside us." She took his face in her hands. "You helped me face my demons, but you were never one of them." Severus was quiet for a time and appeared to be internally fighting with himself. "Talk to me, Severus." He reached inside his robes and pulled out a small, exquisitely crafted, dark-green box. He flipped the box's lid open to reveal two intertwined snakes. One snake was emerald-green with shining silver eyes, and the other was a deep garnet-red with faceted onyx eyes.
"This was my grandmother's wedding ring. I don't know how my mother acquired it. My grandmother was a student of Durmstrang, and my grandfather was a Slytherin."
"It's beautiful."
Severus looked down at the ring-box and closed his long thin hand around it. "My father was an ignorant Muggle brute. My mother was a pure-blooded witch who married badly and had a son whom she loved and loathed in equal measure. The only thing that kept them together was their mutual love of gin." Severus raised his eyes to meet Lin's. "Everything they were is in me."
"You are your own man, Severus; and a beautiful one to me. If you're offering me that ring, I accept it and you—warts and all." Severus slipped the ring onto Lin's finger and the snakes coiled securely around it. Lin smiled and her eyes danced merrily. "Look at that, it fits me perfectly."
"Well, it's charmed to do that," said Severus. Lin just smiled at him and said nothing. "That wasn't very clever of me, was it?"
"Stop talking and kiss me."
~~~
Severus stood alone in his private courtyard. Winter was approaching and the night air was crisp and cool. A light breeze gently blew at his robes. The sky was clear and dotted with twinkling stars. Severus thumbed the thin silver band on his left hand; it had been there over a month and it still annoyed him. Lin didn't mind if he chose not to wear it, but he was determined to get accustomed to it. The wedding had been small and intimate, meaning the only persons present were Lin, Severus, and the magistrate. He should've given her the wedding she deserved with all of the people she cared about present, despite needing the entirety of Hogwarts to accommodate them all. But Severus just couldn't bear all of the people, and the noise, and the attention. He only wanted Lin. He wanted peace. Lin said she was satisfied, but she always claimed to be satisfied with him, which is why he was standing outside in the middle of the night talking to Lily. Before him stood his old patronus of a silvery doe. He could make it appear when he thought about Lily. The doe snorted and stamped its front hoof. Severus smiled to himself as he was reminded of Lily's feisty temperament.
Light poured from an open door as Lin exited Severus' study and stood beside him. She wrapped her arm around his and laid her head on his thin shoulder. "I was talking to Lily."
"Yes, I see," said Lin as she eyed the doe.
"I don't know why I bother. I don't even know if she hears me."
"She hears you, Severus. I'm sure she does."
The doe bounded across the courtyard and leaped at the stone wall; as it did so, its form changed into a large falcon. The falcon landed nimbly on the top of the wall and flapped its great wings as it turned around to face its human observers. It roosted for a moment and then faded into nothingness. [Symbol Reference: See external link.]
"I think the falcon suits you."
"Do you? It's taken a long time to show itself."
"Better late than never." Lin tugged playfully at his arm. "Something occurred to me as I was putting Nikki to bed tonight."
"And what was that?"
"I think he might like a little brother or sister."
"I'm not sure I'm up to the task," teased Severus.
"I have great confidence in you."
"How uplifting."
Severus took Lin's hand and guided her toward the house. He briefly looked back to where the doe had been and returned his attention to his lovely wife. He missed Lily and always would, but he'd set her free. He now had a life he felt he didn't deserve, and was grateful beyond expression for it. Severus was a haunted man and would be so for the remainder of his life, but he was trying to improve. He was trying to leave the darkness behind, to lessen its power over him. It would be a long and difficult journey, but he'd traveled hard roads before. Unlike most others, Severus had never been afraid of the unknown. He and his wife closed the study door behind them and continued on.
A/N: I had a partial outline for Part 2 of this story, which The Cursed Child completely destroyed. I have to start over now. I have a few original stories that I really need to work on, so I don't know when I'll get to Part 2. When I get it written, it'll be uploaded here, tacked onto Part 1.
Thanks for Reading