All traces of the joy on Carters face- joy which was shining so brightly on it, only moments ago,left. He stared at the ground in silence while Cassidy tried to control her crying. She was thankful Liam hadn't heard anything, yet.
"How?"
She pulled her hair away from her face. Hair that had stuck to her cheeks, wet with tears.
"What?"
Carter looked at her with heartbreaking sadness. He too had fresh tears in his eyes.
"How?"
Cassidy took a deep breath. She had never said it out loud. She never even told her Aunt the truth. But now she knew she needed to, she owed it to Carter as well as herself. They were connected now. Two souls bonded by immeasurable pain.
"She was killed. By another pack member."
"Why?"
She could hear the anguish in his voice. The tears were free-flowing again.
"She was too brave. Too selfless. Her death was my breaking point. I didn't stick around in the pack long after. I...I struggle to talk about it."
She wiped her eyes roughly on her sleeve. Smudges of black stained her clothes and her heart.
"I know it wasn't my fault but I feel so guilty. I've carried it with me every day."
Carter held the sweater to his chest. And closed his eyes.
Cassidy felt a pang of possessiveness. That simple piece of fabric was the most precious thing she owned. It was all she had left of her sister and now someone else was touching it. Fingerprinting the fragile memories of her sister.
She knew Carter wanted more answers from her, but he could see that this conversation was making it hard for her to breathe.
"Tell me about her."
She didn't want to.
She didn't want to talk to anyone about Marissa. Her Marissa. The memories of her sister, were hers and hers alone and she didn't want to share them with anyone. Cassidy knew her better and loved her more than anyone else. Their relationship was indescribable. If spoke about her...It was like giving away parts of her sister away.
She knew she was being selfish. It wasn't fair.
"Marissa was my best friend. We grew up like typical bickering sisters but as we got older we were inseparable...She was obviously the prettier Blanche sister. She loved music. Loved to sing and dance. She loved art. She is the reason I have the career I do. She could paint the most mesmerizing sunrises and landscapes, yet she had never left our pack. Nobody was allowed to..."
Cassidy closed her eyes letting all the moments with her sister flood back. The late night conversations, the gossiping, the tears, the dreams. Unfulfilled dreams.
"We dreamed of travelling around the world together, but she never got the chance."
She allowed herself a long moment of silence before continuing. "She was so kind. Too kind and too quiet. It's what drew people to her. She had the most beautiful soul." It's what killed her. Cassidy thought wryly.
She pictured her sister with Carter. His loud personality alongside her radiance. Her gentleness and quietness to keep him grounded. Marissa's ability to make light of any bad situation. Her exquisite simplicity and his charming perspicacity.
It made perfect sense. In a way that stabbed her heart repetitively.
It would have been an epic love.
Abruptly Carter jumped up from the couch and walked over to the painting they had worked on laboriously. He growled in hurt and frustration and punched a hole straight through the middle of the canvas.
He sunk to the floor carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. His howls of pain echoed throughout the house. Cassidy went to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
"It's not fair Cass. How am I going to be happy? I'll never have the one person who was supposed to complete me. What did I do wrong? Why is the moon so cruel?"
The moon was cruel. That was exactly why she had rejected it. None of this should have happened. It was sickening. The only person Cassidy could put her faith in was herself. She had learnt that the hard way.
Fate had a truly twisted sense of humour. Vile, merciless, savage. If she hadn't run from her pack partly because of her sister she would never have met Liam. And if she hadn't met Liam then Carter would never have known the truth. Was it all supposed to happen this way? Was this Carter's destiny?
Oh, what she wouldn't give to switch places with Marissa.
She would take death any day if it meant happiness for her sister. Marissa thought the same and Cassidy almost resented her for making the sacrifice. She was tormented every day by the ghosts of the past.
The blood on Carter's hand mixed with tears as cries of anguish filled the room.
She cried for her sister. She cried for Carter. Cassidy cried for her pitiful existence. And for the first time in almost a decade, she felt another presence. She felt something else stir inside her. Her wolf.
She let herself feel again. She let her scars open and bleed. She embraced it like it was an old friend. The agony was like a tsunami, but at least now someone knew some of her pain.
They sat for a long time. In a feeble effort to bring some light back into the room she said, "You made the painting look better."
Carter didn't laugh.
Cassidy reached towards the couch for the sweater. She felt entitled to be selfish, but she knew that it was no longer just about her. She took the familiar fabric and inhaled the fading scent of her sister. Scent was a powerful trigger. It was red like blood that shouldn't have been spilled.
She looked at it long and hard. This was possibly the last time she would ever see it.
She took a thin gold necklace out of the box and slipped it into her pocket. She was still a little selfish. She placed the sweater in the box. And handed it to Carter. "She would want you to have it."
She could barely hear the thank you that he whispered.
Carter looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. She could hear his heart breaking. They looked deep into each other's hearts and an understanding was passed between them.
He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips.
She knew what that kiss meant. It was one of loss and sadness. An acknowledgement of a life riddled with never-ending tragedy. A shared misery.
Cassidy was the closest and the farthest he could be to the love of his life. A love that he could never possess. A love he could only dream of.
She knew she made the right, but difficult decision when he clenched the cheap cardboard box to his heart like it was irreplaceable. It was.
If Cassidy trusted anyone to hold on to the scattered remnants of her sister. It was Carter.
He stood up. "I'm leaving." His voice hoarse from crying.
She craned her head to see him walk towards the door. Liam was standing there and had probably been standing there for a long time. When Carter walked past him they looked at each other. Brothers. They hugged and shared words.
"Take all the time you need."
Cassidy looked away as Carter cried bitterly, resting his head on Liam's shoulder. It was an intimate moment and she felt like an intruder.
With one final look in her direction, Carter nodded between Liam and her. It was a simple movement that said so much. It meant I love you. It meant- take care of each other.
As she heard the front door close softly she wondered if she would ever see Carter again.
She didn't remember much from the rest of the evening. She remembered crying until her eyes couldn't stay open. Screaming until her throat hurt. She remembered Liam lifting her up. Kissing her head. Placing her in bed and tucking her in. Then she fell asleep. The nightmares and darkness that she had kept at bay fed off her vulnerability and claimed her soul.
---
Now Carter understood why Cassidy chose the suburbs. It was inconspicuous. You could go undetected here. You could hide. Bury your secrets amongst the neatly clipped rose bushes.
Hey! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, I was trying to get some very powerful emotions across and I hope I did that well...Let me know <3
Always open to improvments.
-Jasmine