You can never understand why people do stupid things in love unless you've experienced it for yourself.
Holly and I went from being childhood best friends who drenched each other with water guns on hot summer days, to lovers who gazed at the stars in each other's arms on cold winter nights.
But it wasn't a bump-less road. We had to endure the seasons in between as well. Spring was all about change. After the spring of my sixteenth birthday, neither of us were the same. That was the phase when I'd started getting closer to Thea, and Holly's jealousy was evident. We started fighting, and at one point, stopped talking altogether. We ignored each other for months on end, until finally, on the day of Holly's birthday, I knocked on her window with an apology. The rain was soaking through my clothes, but the smile on my face couldn't be washed away.
With a grin to match my own, Holly opened the window and clambered outside. I shrugged off my jacket and placed it on her shoulders. As the rain embraced us in its chilly grasp, Holly and I kissed for the very first time. Our friendship died that day. But as it did, love ignited.
By Autumn, the two of us were just as close as we'd been before silence had built its wall between us. It wasn't just the leaves that fell that season. I did too. I fell in love with Holly.
The mistake I'd made was not realizing sooner how much she'd meant to me. I never should have seen in Thea what Holly already possessed from right beside me. And here I was, having made the same mistake twice.
"Mr. Mills! How are you? Is Holly home?" I asked, as the door finally opened. With Ava ignoring me, it was close to impossible to keep track of the days. Although showing up at Holly's doorstep wasn't the best idea in case one of her alters opened the door, I had no other choice.
"Hiya, Will! Elody's at Riley's house, actually... Didn't Ava tell you?" Mr. Mills shot me a curious glance that soon morphed into one of sympathy. I think my face betrayed all my emotions because he put his arm around my shoulder and led me into the house, murmuring something under his breath about making me tea.
"How long is she going to be there?" I asked, trying to sound casual. It didn't work.
"I don't think she'll be back until dinner, actually..." Mr. Mills said, shooting me one more of his pitiful smiles. He started to rummage around the kitchen to make the tea, but I told him it was unnecessary. I probably looked a mess, else he wouldn't have complied.
"What's she going to do after dinner?" I asked, sounding terribly desperate.
"She's going to wash her hands, of course."
Maybe it was the nerves, or the casual manner in which he said it, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Mr. Mills placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Will, I don't want you stressing yourself out about this, okay? It's incredibly difficult to put up with Holly's alters and the fact that you're even trying is quite amazing. She really loves you for it, you know?"
And just like that, I started to feel like crap all over again. The tree house, Thea's eyes sparkling in the moonlight, her hair flying in the breeze; it all came rushing back.
"You will be okay,"Mr. Mills said, his eyes boring into mine.
"I will?" I asked tentatively.
"Yes. I, Henry. You, Will," Mr. Mills said slowly, enunciating each word as if I was a foreigner who didn't understand his language. I chuckled, instantly feeling better.
After what felt like hours, all my emotions came pouring out at once like a waterfall. "I made a mistake, Mr. Mills,"I blurted out. "With Holly?" he asked softly, concerned more for my well-being rather than me hurting his daughter. It made my heart ache seeing how much this man, who was like a second father to me, care for me so much. It made my heart break to see that he wasn't just as concerned for the girl both of us loved more than anyone else. After all this time, I guess he knew better than anyone that Holly wouldn't last forever. It was these last moments that would count for a lifetime.
I nodded, and he looked like he wanted to comfort me, but couldn't find the right words to do so. Finally, he let out a deep sigh. "It doesn't matter, Will. What matters is that you're here. You stayed. You're beating yourself up for what you've done and that's more punishment than anyone else can give you. Your own guilt will break you apart faster than anyone else's disappointment in you."
"And that's supposed to make me feel better because....."
"Because you're not as bad as you tell yourself you are! We're the worst judges of ourselves in situations like these. We tell ourselves we could've done more, but we really, really can't,"he said, sounding tired now.
"Um, Mr. Mills, I have a feeling we're talking about completely different things at this point. If by doing more you mean kissing more girls who aren't my girlfriend, I think I should go to someone else for advice,"I chuckled nervously. Trust me, I wasn't joking.
"Wait, you cheated on my daughter?" Mr. Mills asked, suddenly becoming the overprotective father. Bad timing, sir, very bad timing. I could feel my eyes welling with tears. I was breaking and there was nothing left to hold me together.
"I mean... hey, it's okay. I'm sure you regret it with every little piece of your heart....."he said, suddenly changing lanes. I turned my head in the other direction and furiously wiped away my tears. It wasn't the whole 'men don't cry' nonsense that made me feel ashamed of crying in front of him. I didn't give two cents for that kind of screwed up logic. It was the fear that he would go easy on me and not give me the hate I deserved just because I was upset about it. I wasn't justified. Not one bit. My misery couldn't excuse what I had done.
"I'm sorry,"I choked out, furiously wiping away my tears, but to no avail. There was no point. He knew how terrible I felt. I could only hope that he wouldn't dismiss my mistakes.
Mr. Mills knew better than to talk to me until I had managed to calm down, and I loved him for giving me the time and the space. When I turned back around, he sported a stoic look on his face.
"Hey, I know how it feels. After Alora died, I kept feeling like I could've helped or done something to make it better. But I couldn't change what happened. Now she's gone,"Mr. Mills said, and I raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Your wife's name was Alora?" I asked, surprised. He nodded, a hint of a smile making its way on his face. "All the alters have stories behind their names."
I smiled. "And I thought I knew all there was to know about Holly."
He smiled back. "My little girl's a mystery to me too. You've just got to notice every little detail, and then the big things start making sense."
"Is Alora like your wife?" I asked with interest, hoping I wasn't prying. "So much like her, Will. So much like her." He sighed.
"Every day that Holly listened to her Mom's old rock music or snapped at me with that classic charm, I called her Alora because she reminded me so much of her. I guess the name embedded itself somewhere in her mind because a few years down the line, Alora became one of her alters,"he finished.
Holly's mind was a house of memories, the alters were her characters and she was the narrator. It was sad to think about, but she had no life without them. Hearing about them and what they did was what she thrived on. I had to change that for her. She couldn't be the narrator all the time. She had to become the protagonist.
"Hey, Will, did you hear about the kidnapping at school?" Mr. Mills asked out of the blue. My mouth opened in shock.
"What?! No, what happened?" I asked, worried.
Mr. Mills moved his hand in a manner that suggested that there was no need to fret."It's okay, he woke up."
......
A/N 2.22K reads and over 500 votes!!!!! You guys are amazing, you know that? I can't believe we've made it this far into the story.
Thanks so much for giving my book a chance! <3
~Via