A/N: Right, I'm gonna put it out there right now for those of you with dirty minds: (which, tbh, is probably all of you lol) just because this is Chapter 69, don't expect any special smutty stuff as a double entendre or anything. 69 is just a number, okay?? :P
"Hey babe, can you help me out?" Harry asked me.
"Mhmm. Sure," I rose from the couch with a soft grunt so that I could instead sit down beside him on the sofa – holding my hand over my bump as I slowly sunk down next to him, "what's up?"
"I need to finalize the setlist for the tour," he said.
"What?" I laughed a bit, "Harry, there's only one more week until you leave, and you still haven't figured out the setlist?"
"Er, in me and my team's defence, we've been working on the setlist for a while, but we always end up changing it," he said, "but Jeffrey promised me that I could make the final decision today."
"OK..." I nodded slowly, "why do you need to figure this out, though? I mean, you're just gonna be performing your album, right?"
"Well, yeah, but come on, Leah – I only have 10 songs to my name at the moment," he said with a soft chuckle, "I gotta give people a little more than that."
"Hm...I suppose you're right," I agreed before chuckling as well, "so...what are you thinking?"
"Well, I was thinking of a setlist more around the lines of 15 songs. And the band's already memorized the chords for every song I've written or co-written over the years – including ones that aren't on my album. So, that means like, any song I wrote for the One Direction albums and stuff."
"Oh! That's awesome!" I grinned, "I think it's a great idea to let the fans hear you sing 1D's songs. It'll really show them how much you and the other boys still care about the band."
"Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking," Harry said with a smile.
"So, you could just pick any 1D song written or co-written by you?" I asked.
"Basically, yeah," he nodded.
"Well, go for it, then! Which one do you wanna do?"
"Er...well...about that..." he began, "I was wondering if you wanted to pick a couple, Leah."
"Wait, what?" My eyes widened a little, "Me? Why?"
"Well, I want you to feel involved in the tour prep – I don't want you to feel like we're shutting you out of it, love," he smiled at me, "and besides, since you're a part of the fandom, I thought you might have a better idea of what the fans want to hear," he nudged me a little, "so, go on, babe. If you could pick any song that you know was written by me, which one would you choose?"
"Hmm..." I gently stroked my bump as I began to think, "well...personally, I've always loved 'Stockholm Syndrome'. I mean, seriously – when I first heard that song on FOUR, I was totally blown away. Even more blown away when I realized it was written by you," I smiled at him, "so, I'd pick Stockholm Syndrome. I just adore that song, and so many of the fans adore it, too."
"Stockholm Syndrome?" He smiled, "Really?"
"Mhmm," I nodded, "I knew the meaning of that song ran deep into the lyrics, and I've always loved songs like that. Why do you think I'm obsessed with your music?" my smile grew.
Harry chuckled softly. "Right. Stockholm Syndrome. Got it," he faced his MacBook and typed 'Stockholm Syndrome' up, "I think that's a really good idea, actually. I really like that song, too," he smiled at me once more, "and I'll be thinking of you every time I sing it, babe."
"Aww," I giggled and hugged one of his arms, "you're so sweet."
"Right. So, that's 11," he said, "I need four more now. Do you have any more ideas, Lee?"
"Er..." I bit my lip a little, "well...another song of yours I really like is 'Just a Little Bit of Your Heart'. Y'know, that one you wrote for Ariana?"
"Yes, I do know that one," Harry nodded slowly, "but d'you really think the fans would want to hear it, though? I mean, yeah – I wrote it, but I feel like everyone sees it as Ariana's song now, because it's sung with her voice."
"Oh, no! That's not true!" I objected, "Harry, of course the fans remember that that song is yours. We never forgot," I gave his arm a gentle squeeze, "and trust me – they have been dying to hear that song sung in your voice, because they know it's your song."
"Really?" He asked me doubtfully.
"Yes, really!" I insisted, "Please add it in, Harry. I promise the fans will love you for it – even more than they already do."
Harry chuckled softly. "Alright, then. I'll add it," he smiled as he typed it up, "cool, so that's 12. Three more to go."
"Maybe you should have a turn now," I suggested, "I picked two, so now you can pick two. It's only fair."
Harry's smile grew. "Alright," he then furrowed his brow a little as he began to think, "er...how do you think the fans would feel about me throwing my cover of 'The Chain' in?"
"Ooh! They would go nuts!" I clapped my hands, "They loved your cover of that song, you know. Some of them say that your version is even better than the original."
"What? No," he immediately shook his head, "no way. Nothing beats the original song."
"Hey, I'm just passing it on," I reminded him, "I think adding your cover of it is a wonderful idea, Harry. I fangirled so hard when I first heard you sing that on Radio One."
Harry laughed. "Good to know," he typed on his MacBook again, "OK, so that makes 13. Two more to go."
"What other songs do you wanna do, Harry?" I asked him.
"Well..." he began slowly, "actually, there's this idea I've had for quite a while now. I experimented with the band in the studio one day, and I sort of tweaked the tune of 'What Makes You Beautiful' to make it sound more rocky."
"Wait, what?" My eyes widened, "What the...how did I not know about this?"
He chuckled again. "You & I weren't even together the first time we tried it out. I didn't think it was really worth mentioning."
"Oh my God!" I cried, "I need to hear this rocky version like, yesterday!"
Harry let out a soft sigh. "I don't know, Leah. I'd like to add it to the setlist, but...I don't know if the fans would be very happy, knowing that I tweaked the tune that started it all so that it suited my style a bit more. I just worry that...maybe they'll think I don't care about the song's sentimental value because I changed it up, or something like that..."
"What? That's crazy!" I said, "Harry, the fans like it when you change things up. When you released your cover of 'Wild Thoughts', everyone was going on and on about how you cut out all the gross lyrics and changed the tune a bit so that it was more suited to your taste, and they absolutely loved it. And I'm sure they'll love this tweaked What Makes You Beautiful, as well."
"You sure?" He asked me anxiously.
"Definitely," I nodded a smile, "add it to the setlist, Harry, or I'll add it for you. And you are totally playing this rocky version for me before you leave."
At my words, Hary finally began to smile again. "Alright, Leah. I'll give it a go."
He typed up 'What Makes You Beautiful (Tweaked)' into his notes, and after he finished, he scratched his cheek a little as he mulled over the setlist as a whole.
"One more to go," I looked up at him, "what are you thinking?"
"Er...actually, Leah, I was thinking of doing something different for this tour," he said, "I want to use at least one unreleased song to sing live – just to give the fans something they haven't heard yet."
"Oh, right. That's actually a pretty good idea," I smiled at him, "which one do you wanna do?"
He looked at me and smiled back. "I wanna do 'Raven'."
My eyes widened a little. "Wait...what? S-Seriously?"
"Yeah," Harry's smile grew, "seriously."
"B-But...but Harry..." I began, "your fans are gonna instantly see that that song is about me..."
"Yeah. So what?" He asked cheekily, "It's my next single, so they would've figured that out after I released it, anyway."
"Are you sure you wanna do it, Harry?" I asked him anxiously, "I mean...I know what some of the fans are like, and I'm worried that maybe they don't mind what you're singing about currently, because they don't know who your songs are about. But...once they figure out that Raven is about me, they might react differently..." I bit my lip.
"I don't give a fuck, Leah," Harry smiled again, "I love you so much, and I couldn't care less about who knows about it. And besides, we're having a baby together, so...it's a little too late for people to express negative opinions about us in hopes that we'll break up now," he let my chin rest against his fingers as he gently stroked my cheek with his thumb, "I know that those people can be really spiteful and rude, babe, but they honestly can't do jack shit to our relationship."
At his words, I slowly smiled back at him. "Yeah. That's true," I took his hand from my face only to clasp it in both of mine and give it a soft squeeze, "OK, Harry. If you wanna make it a part of your setlist, go right ahead."
"Thank you. I will," he chuckled before he kissed my hands and typed up 'Raven' as the last song in the setlist, "great. That's all 15 done. I'll send it off to Jeffrey right now."
He attached the setlist to an email to Jeffrey with a short explanation on what the email was before he sent it off and shut his laptop.
"Now, babe, I just need to ask you one more thing," he spoke up once more.
"Which is?"
"Well, you've been a part of the fanbase for a long time," he said, "so...are there, like...any inside jokes among the fans or whatever? Like, jokes that they might like to see me mention at my shows?"
"Inside jokes? Er..." I shut my eyes as I began to think – but it wasn't long before something popped into my head, causing me to smile, "oh, oh! I've got one."
"Yeah?" Harry was instantly intrigued, "What is it?"
"'This is a family show! Or is iiiitt?'" I giggled, "That one is, without a doubt, one of the fans' most favourite concert moments of yours. Including mine," I smiled, "don't ask me why – we all just love watching you say that."
"Really?" Harry looked amused, "That, of all things? That just...came out naturally."
"Which proves you are a natural at being onstage," my smile grew, "oh – and of course, we fans used to love the way you'd always tease us by touching yourself on stage or pretending to strip or whatever."
"Oh, really?" He smirked at me, "You included, I'm presuming?"
"Definitely," I smirked back, "I used to watch compilations of all those moments on YouTube, and I'd practically drool."
Harry's smirk instantly grew upon hearing my words. "I see. I'll keep all that mind, then."
"You know, in all honesty, I used to be really curious as to why you did that so much. Like, touch yourself and that," I said, "I'd always wonder if it was because you were like, constantly sexually frustrated or something."
Harry's eyebrows rose, but he quickly began to snigger before he suddenly burst out laughing.
"Well, actually, sometimes I was," he admitted with a chuckle, "I mean, as much as I love it, being on the road for so long has its moments where I'd suddenly find it...really repetitive and tedious. And I found myself lying awake at night sometimes, just really craving to have something else – something different. Sometimes it was just me wanting to be in my own bed back at home, or just wanting to be able to wake up and say good morning to my family, or sometimes, I admit...wanting to feel pleasure, too."
"Oh, well, there's no shame in it," I said, "you're only human. People can't expect you to become a robot who doesn't get those yearnings at all. You do tend to have moments like that. It's just in your nature. It's in all of our nature."
"Yeah, exactly," Harry nodded in agreement.
"I mean, I'm pretty sure that's why lots of artists like to be with groupies – not that I approve of it or anything."
"Oh no, I get what you mean," he assured me, "and I'll admit: when I was younger, I was actually curious about that. And I...I tried it a couple of times, too," he blushed a little – seemingly embarrassed to be confessing this, "but I didn't like it. It just felt so wrong. And that's why I...don't really like to talk about it, because I actually really regret those times in my life. I was just this hormonal teenager that was exploring the perks of stardom. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by it all at the start...and I was constantly searching for something to relieve me from the stress and pressure of touring. But...as a result, I took advantage of girls who weren't thinking straight and used them for my own benefit. And that wasn't right. That wasn't how I was raised to behave."
"Hey, I've been down the same road, remember?" I reminded him with a soft smile, "You know, Haz...as teenagers, we can be really vulnerable. Because of all the hormones and other changes happening to our bodies, it's so easy for us to do things in that stage of life that we come to regret as the years go by. But it's good, I've always thought – because acknowledging that they were bad decisions and regretting them is all a part of growing mature in body and mind."
At my words, Harry's mouth slowly began to curve into a small smile back.
"That's so true. We have matured now. And I'm grateful for it – because if I continued down that path, God only knows who'd be carrying this..." he placed his hand against my baby bump and gave it a gentle rub.
I giggled. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."
"Christ, I'm gonna miss you so much, Leah," Harry lowered his eyes and sighed as he continued to stroke my bump, "I love how I'm able to open up so easily when I'm with you. How am I supposed to last 6 months without that?"
"Hey, it's not gonna be six months straight," I placed my hand over his so that we were holding my baby bump together, "we'll still see each other every month. And those visits get to be, like, a week long, right?"
"Yeah..." Harry nodded, "but still...I've never had to be away for so long since we started dating. I'm not gonna be used to it."
"Me neither, H. But we can push through it," I smiled at him, "we can call each other every day, or almost every day. And you can call me whenever you want, Harry. Even if it might be like, 3AM here, it doesn't matter. If you want to call, just call."
Harry smiled back at me. "Yeah. Same goes for you, Leah. No matter what time it is, I'm always happy to talk to you."
My smile grew, and I craned my neck to softly peck his lips before I settled down and rested my head against his shoulder. Neither of us lifted a finger off my little bump – and I found myself relishing the feeling of our baby against the palms of our hands.
"I love you, Harry," I murmured to him softly – my eyes drooping a little since I was just so comfortable beside him.
"I love you, Leah," he pressed his lips to my temple and used his free hand to stroke my hair, "I love you so much."
***
All was silent that night as I helped Harry pack his travel bag for his tour.
Piper was already in bed, but the two of us were picking and choosing Harry's most comfortable clothes for his travelling and his rehearsals. Harry's stylist would be taking care of transportation for his concert suits – but of course, he still had to pack his own essentials to take with him.
We didn't speak that much – not only because we knew Piper was asleep, and we wanted to stay quiet, but because of another reason, too.
"I still can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," I told Harry quietly as I opened the drawer containing all his old T-shirts.
"I know," Harry said with a sigh, "the time's flown by so fast. It's insane."
It seemed to be only just dawning on us that starting tomorrow, we wouldn't be seeing each other for another month. And both of us were actually feeling fine about that...until now. Now, the two of us weren't feeling very happy at all.
"There – go on and pick out some T-shirts," I told him, "I'll pick out some warmer clothes for you to wear to the colder countries."
I walked over to the wardrobe and started shifting through the clothes on Harry's side of the racks – choosing his warmest-looking sweaters and taking them out before laying them all out on the bed.
"Here's your fancy solar system one," I broke out a soft, sad smile as I looked down at the black sweater with planets on it, "I still can't believe you spent £2000 pounds on this thing."
"Er, £1770, thank you very much," he replied cheekily.
I only shrugged. "Round it to the nearest thousand, it's £2000."
"Excuse me. Don't try to out-smart me with maths," he pretended to sound offended.
I giggled. "It's not outsmarting. It's bantering."
I took the solar system sweater out of its hanger along with the other sweaters I'd pulled out. Once I did that, I began to carefully fold each one before I tucked them all into one corner of his bag.
I then made a face as I watched Harry put his weird yellow Gucci loafers into a separate bag before he chucked them in opposite the sweaters.
"Seriously, Harry?" I rose an eyebrow at him, "Again with the yellow loafers?"
"You can give me that look as much as you want, Leah, but I'm not leaving them here with you," he gave me another cheeky look, "I know how much you hate them, and for all I know, you might try to burn them while I'm gone."
"Woah, woah – I don't hate them. I just think they're...weird-looking," I said, "like...let's be real, Haz, they look like women's flat shoes."
Harry sniggered before he began to laugh. "You know me. I'm all for the originality."
"Why do you like them so much?" I couldn't help but ask, "I mean, I know it's Gucci...but there are way better Gucci shoes out there."
"All Gucci is good Gucci," he said, "I refuse to dislike anything that they make."
"Oh my God," I rolled my eyes, "alright. Fine. It's good, actually – because it means that those shoes will be out of my sight," I chuckled.
"Exactly," he smirked at me.
"And on that subject, maybe you can take your weird Willy Wonka sunglasses with you as well?"
"What?" Harry widened his eyes – pretending to be shocked, "You hate my favourite sunglasses, too?"
"Again – don't hate, I just think they look strange," I smiled, "hey – it's important for people to be honest when they're in a relationship."
"Hm. I suppose you're right," he crossed in his arms, "and, you know what? I think that pink and grey turtleneck sweater that you have in your winter drawer is weird."
"Oh, thanks for your honesty," my smile grew, "but, I'm not gonna do anything about that. I like that sweater."
"I know," Harry rolled his eyes, "but I don't really know why."
"Do I have to have a reason?"
"No. No you don't," he gave me an amused smile, "damn. I'm not even gonna have anyone to playfully banter with while I'm on tour."
"Oh, come on. I'm sure you'd be able to do playful banter with anyone in your team," I objected.
"Not like this," he turned serious again as he took my hands and pulled me closer to him, "nothing's gonna feel the same without you around, Leah. Not sleeping, not eating...nothing."
I sighed. "I know, Harry. But once you leave, you'll be back in four weeks. Just keep thinking about that."
"Right now, I feel like that's all I'll be thinking about," he lowered his eyes, "the minute I leave, I'm gonna be counting down the minutes until I can see you again. I just know it."
"Me too, H," I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug, "but hey – you're not leaving just yet," I looked up at him with a small, sad smile, "we still have one more night."
"Yeah. True," he smiled back at me softly, "but one night can go by so fast."
"Then let's make sure it goes slowly," I said, "what if we just stay up and cuddle, for as long as possible before we eventually fall asleep? The time should pass slower that way...which is what we want, right?"
Harry's smile grew a little. "I think that's a great idea."
My smile grew as well, and I let out a quiet chuckle. "I'm glad you think so."
We both rushed to finish packing Harry's travel bag so that we could settle down as quickly as possible. And once he was finally fully packed, he lifted his travel bag off the bed and dropped it by the bedroom door – not even giving it a second look as he quickly headed to the en suite to brush his teeth.
Once he was done in the bathroom, it was my turn. I finished my nightly regimen as quickly as possible – brushing my teeth hurriedly and choosing to skip flossing since we only ate pasta for dinner, anyway – and it was highly unlikely that anything would be stuck in my teeth. And when I washed my face, I didn't do it anywhere near as thoroughly as I usually did – because all I cared about was getting back to Harry as soon as I could.
When I was finally finished, I rushed out of the bathroom and returned to Harry – who had stripped down to his boxers and was looking down at something he was holding in his hands – although, from my angle, I couldn't quite see what it was.
As I moved closer, I realized that he had actually taken out all the print-outs from my 12-week scan and started shuffling through them. He was gazing down at them as if they were the only thing in the world that he was seeing at the moment – which instantly caused an affectionate smile to spread across my face.
However, that smile quickly faded when I heard him sniffle, and I saw his hands starting to tremble a little as he held the print-outs. He was blinking quite rapidly – as if he were struggling to hold back tears.
"Harry..?" I spoke up softly, "Are you alright?"
Harry shook his head and blinked again – and this time, I saw the very first of his tears starting to slide down his cheeks, and I acted immediately.
"Oh, Harry!" I rushed to his side and climbed onto the bed beside him, "Harry, what's wrong?"
"I don't..." his voice was weak and shaky, "I don't want to leave. I-I don't want to leave you...o-or Piper...and I don't want to leave our baby..."
His voice broke the very moment he said 'baby', and he let out a quiet sob before he had to let the print-outs fall from his hands so that he could cover his face as he began to cry.
"Oh, no...Harry...d-don't cry, please. Or else..." my own eyes were already starting to feel wet since the sound of him weeping was breaking my heart, "o-or else you're gonna make me cry..."
"C-Can't you and Piper come with me?" His teary eyes were already red and puffy as he looked at me pleadingly, "Please, Leah...please say you'll come with me."
"Harry...there's nothing I'd love more than for us to be able to come with you. But...we can't," I cupped his wet face in my hand and brushed some of his hair out of his eyes, "we've already...talked about why we can't..." I let out a shaky sigh, "if Piper...didn't have school, it'd be easier..."
"W-We can sort something out with the school...c-can't we?" He sputtered.
I sniffled and shook my head. "No, Harry. We can't sacrifice half a year of school for Piper. She...she'll be so far behind, Haz...y-you know she will," my voice wobbled, and I could already feel a single tear starting to slide down my face, "I'm so sorry..."
"Th-Then I won't go...I'll cancel the whole thing..." he said in a low voice.
"N-No! It's too late for that!" I shook my head vigorously, "You, are supposed to be leaving tomorrow, Harry. Your fans...are so excited to see you. A-Aren't you excited to see them too..?"
"I...I can't..." he continued to softly weep as he gently touched his forehead to mine, "Leah...h-how can I leave you? Last six whole months without you..?"
"No. Not six whole months," I reminded him – cupping his face in my hands once more, "after tomorrow...it's just four weeks before you can come home again..."
"Leah..." I could feel his trembling breaths against my lips, "I-I'm going to miss you...so much..."
"Oh, darling..." I closed the gap between our lips and kissed him deeply, "I'll miss you too...m-more than anything..." I then held him at an arm's length so that I could look him in the eyes, "look...I-I know this is hard...since this...this separation that's gonna happen...hasn't truly hit us until now. But...but we're gonna get through it, OK?" I smiled at him through my tears, "You, are going to be wonderful on this tour. Your singing will be wonderful, your outfits will be wonderful, and the fans' experience in general is going to be wonderful. Do you hear me, Harry?"
Harry sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand before nodding.
"You're going to have an amazing time. I just know it," my smile grew, "and I'm going to have an amazing time following every single show."
At my words, Harry wiped his eyes before he finally smiled back at me.
"I love you so much," he murmured as he touched our foreheads together once more.
I let out a soft chuckle. "You've already told me that so many times this week."
"I know. And I'm saying it again," he pressed a lingering, tender kiss to my lips before he took me in his arms and let me rest my head against his chest as we laid down in bed together, "I love you so much."
A/N: Yeah, I know this was kind of like a filler chapter, but I figured I needed one more home chapter before I let Harry jet off on tour :P I hope you enjoyed it lovelies <3 xoxo