Magi: Hiraeth

By lilyofthelamplight_

191K 7.3K 888

"Even the mightiest of kings fall once forced to the edge." The longing for a place you called home that neve... More

Author's Note
Epigram
Prologue
1: Xue Kingdom
2: The 23rd Dungeon
3: The Boy Who Emerged from the Wormhole
4: To Sindria
5: Sinbad, King of Sindria
Character Profile: Yukiko Heiwa
Character Profile: Aoren Heiwa
6: Lady of the Tundra
Omake
7: Dawning
8: Memories from Kou
Omake
9: Before the storm
10: Birthday
11: Glorious Sindria
Lost Scroll
12: Feelings
13: Shattered
14: The Fallen
15: Emptiness
16: Gone
17: The Kingdom of Kina
18: Snow Child
19: Realization
20: The Flame Emperor
21: Welcome Home
Omake
22: Rebellion
23: News
24: Ascending
25: His Decision. Her Decision.
26: Queen Yukiko Heiwa
27: The Kou Empire
28: Stay with me
29: Back in Sindria
Omake
30: Decisions
31: The Road to Magnostadt
32: The Darkness
33: Missing you
34: The Place She Once Called Home
☆☆** 2017 **☆☆
35: As A Representative
36: Her Return
37: To Be Like Before
Lost Scroll: The Past (A Recap Chapter)
38: Sinbad and Yukiko
39: Vulnerable
40: Prelude to Darkness
41: Resurfacing Darkness
42: The Difference Between Us
44: Tears
2nd Anniversary
45: Forms of Love
46: By the Sun
47: King Vessels
48: King Vessels pt.2
49: Balbadd
50: Impasse
51: In Each Others Arms
52: Different
53: Moon
54: Summit

43: Sorrowful Feelings

1.5K 76 8
By lilyofthelamplight_

"... I am not fit to be King." Yukiko muttered under her breath.

Silence fell upon them while the breeze kept on coming, sending the assortment of flower petals dancing in the air.

"I was aware that you've suffered the same fate before..having been enslaved and tortured.." she informed him.

"..I did. It was hell on earth."

"So do you understand what I was trying to say? Jafar and your men saved you when you were in such a dire state. You were longing for your freedom when you were shackled by that Madura. Sin.."

"Imagine my people who are doing their best to hold on to their sanity and sense of self. They are doing their best to fight such a hard battle by themselves and I can hear them. They are calling for their motherland. For their family. For me! Deep within their tattered hearts they are hoping to be saved one day."

Sinbad just looked at her expression as she says these. Each words felt so heavy that it weighs down on his shoulders making him reevaluate. Those statements she carried with her was filled with sorrowful feelings knowing full well of her people's suffering.

"I realize now that I am not fit to be a ruler. You are right on that part. I was idiotic and too idealistic that I forgot how big the world was and how different people are outside of my own little sphere. Looking back, it was really presumptuous to think that I can take them all back: my people. I let myself believe that I can save and take them all back because I have the power of kings in my hand.."

"..Yes..the power of kings! I have them at my disposal!" She looks down on her hands. "Yet, just like what you have said back then... I may have such power but I do not know how to use them in a real fight... having a feature such as that... should not be recognized as a King candidate."

" Yukiko.." Sinbad uttered her name but can't think of anything to say. For the first time in his life, he became clueless. He can't read her anymore. He can't read the flow of destiny that surrounds them.

He can't see anything but the woman he realized he loves so dearly, but was too late. He had broken her. So much so that now she just admits all the flaws he had pointed out and was now slowly being swallowed in a twisted path down to depravity.

"Do you see these carvings and scars, Sin?" She showed him her arms and the palm of her hands. There was a line of ancient scriptures etched onto her skin. "Do you know what they are?"

Sinbad looked closely at the scars she was showing him and was utterly to surprised when he realized what it was.

"These are ancient spells from the Torran Tribe's Book of the Seventy-two Magicians." He slowly reached out to her and held her arms gently. She didn't pushed him away. "Yukiko this is a taboo."

"I know."

"Having one symbol carved onto your skin is something very severe and painful..why do you have so many of these?!" He was alarmed. He looked into her eyes and saw that there were also carvings on her forehead and her neck.

"Each symbol carries pain as if you are being stabbed a hundred times. With these amount you have... Why do you have such a thing?!" He was frustrated and worried.

He attempted to do it once but was stopped by the tribe deeming he wouldn't be able to endure such pain. He defied them and was granted a trial but he failed to do so. He can't endure it.

But here infront of him is a woman, whom he believe was weak, littered with inscriptions on her pale white skin.

"I needed to have them. I needed power. Something that will help save my people because I am too weak. With this I can summon my metal vessels wherever they may be. They added a boost in my abilities even if it is just a small amount. This helped me master my metal vessels capabilities in a much faster rate."

"The tribe knew my circumstances and how desperate I was. They pitied me and carved these."

She looked up to him and saw his confusion. She decided to explain things further because she knows in her heart that this will be the last time they may speak with each other like this.

"Sinbad let me tell you a story. Up in the north where a land covered in snow lived peacefully, a child born to a family carried something that it wasn't supposed to have. The infant was blessed by the rukhs and loved by it, but that wasn't really the case."

"Unlike the little boy born in a desert country to a loving mother and a father who is one of the bravest soldier the empire he serves ever knew." She looked at him.

Sinbad immediately understood who she was referring to. It was him and her.

"You were born to do great things right from when you were born. I, on the other hand, was a mistake. I wasn't meant to be born. I have no role to play in this world and because of that, I only bring sorrow to the people around me. The more I tried to do, the more I destroy. You are a unique singurality while I am an anomaly. We weren't even supposed to meet and yet here we are."

"It was my fault. Have I just stopped you from coming through that cave.. If I wasn't too greedy to have a friend.. If I just told my parents of that place's capabilities, we could've sealed it and the invasion wouldn't have happened! Our kingdom wouldn't have fallen!"

"The root of my people's suffering was me and I had always deny it because it was true."

"It wasn't your fault, Yuki." He replied. "Nothing was ever your fault. Don't bring yourself down too much." He consoled her but it was as if it didn't reach her ears.

"You know, Sin... these carvings still ache. Every day whenever I wake up, as the day goes on, and even in my sleep, it pains me."

"But I got used to it. The seering pain clawing on my skin became nothing to me. I thought I was susceptible to pain by now.."

She paused for a while. She tried to keep her voice from breaking.

"..but it hurts so much right here.." she pointed towards her heart. "Sin..I loved you so much. You were my first real friend. You were my first love. You were my sun." She finally confessed to him. "What you did to me was even more painful that these carvings.."

"After our kingdom fell and lost everything, I almost forgot what happiness was until I saw you again after a decade, Sin." She smiled at him but the sorrow was still lingering under it.

"Sin..I trusted you. I trusted my heart, my mind, and soul to you. I know that you'll never betray me. I was elated seeing you again after so long since finally I have met someone I can call my friend who I can entrust my life to. But you betrayed me..."

"I never meant to fall in love with you. I'm sorry for burdening you with such a disgusting feeling." She stepped away from him. "But believe me when I say this: I do not have such feelings for you anymore. I now understand why you did such things."

"Who would want me anyway? I prioritize myself, my desires, and feelings before my people to whom I promised hope. I was an idiot and a selfish woman. It was foolish hoping to find love."

"I am an anomaly born into this world. Xerxes was right. I do not belong anywhere. Not in Kina. Not in Sindria. Not in Kou. Not even in Xue. I am an unwanted being. That was why I long for someone who'll love me in a way that is not platonic. Because I wanted to belong somewhere."

"But I wasn't supposed to have anything."

Finding out how she came to be pained her and made her drown in guilt. Xerxes, the rogue mage from Al-Thamen, revealed who she really was when he followed her to a dungeon once.

Xerxes was greatly interested in her eversince he knew of her existence. He used his magic to tell her story using clairvoyance magic with the aid of her blood and magoi.

Her rukhs diverged from the great flow and hurled down straight to the world, where she wasn't made to be, from the Sacred Palace because it can't be used anymore.

She went against destiny and fate and because of that, she only carries peril. The more she tries to help, the more she destroys. Attaining a djiin didn't helped her at all because it only amplified her misfortune; especially to her household members who now wield magic from her.

She was an entity that wasn't meant to have anything.

"If you were supposed to be an unwanted being.. If we weren't supposed to meet in the first place..how come I feel this way? How come the only person that I ever wanted by my side was you? Why is it that I feel so thankful to have met you and be a part of my life?"

"Why do I only feel so much love for you because you are yourself?"

The maiden who was shedding tears silently felt numb. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked at him despite being a mess.

His eyes reflected nothing but her but it carries such longingness for the person reflected on it. The way he said those words weren't laced with any ulterior motives or manipulation. Each word carries genuine feelings that is reaching out to her.

"Yukiko, I love you. No more lies and deception this time"

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