A B A L O N
I don't know what I was expecting when the words passed my lips but maybe a little pandemonium from Javier. Maybe for him to come to me on his knees and beg me to want him, beg me to love him or proclaim his love for me.
He does neither. Just stare at his feet with his hands fisted at his sides. Lips pressed together in a thin line. I am glad he does not stoop so low.
"Are you sure Abalon Penn?" Enforcer Bryan asks and I nod.
"Yes. It is what I want." I stand my ground. My eyes never leave Javier and he raises his head to meet my gaze.
"Beta Javier Morales, your fated mate requests a formal rejection from you. Are you willing to give it?" Enforcer Jahiem speaks with a thick accent.
"Y-Yes." Javier keeps me captured in his eyes as he steps forward. He closes the distance between us.
"And what of the pup?" Enforcer Jaheim asks and before I can speak Javier beats me to it.
"I want visitation." Javier says and I nod. "Alternating holidays and every weekend unless Abalon has plans with him."
"Agreed." My voice is a whisper.
"And address? Where will you stay?" I look towards my Alpha. Ivan is sniveling into the crook of his mate's neck, eyes wide and wet shifting from me to Javier and back again.
"Here." My mother gasps and snarls loudly.
"No." she growls shoving Javier away from me and grabbing my chin in her hand.
"You will return with your father and me. That rat can collect the pup when it's time for his visitation." She tells me, eyes hard and wild.
I gaze at her. Eyes may be hard as granite but there's an underlying pain only a parent can possess. She is concerned for me. She wants to take me and hide me away from all the heartache and pain she thinks I'm going through.
"Mom. I am home." I whisper and she glares.
"Home? Home?" she questions me as if my words are preposterous. "Where this pathetic excuse of a mate lives? Where this pack has ridiculed you and gossiped about you?" she asks and I almost bend my head in shame.
"I know. But I won't run mom. I won't be a coward and hide from what my life is. This is what I have to live with every day and I'll be damned if I ran and tucked my tail between my legs. I won't do that anymore. I can't do that anymore." She listens to me. She shakes her head after a few moments of meeting my eyes and when I don't look away she scoffs.
"Well then I am entitled to retribution." I gasp at her words.
"Mom no." She lets go of me and stands before Javier.
"I accept." Javier says standing tall.
"Javier no!" I step towards him but he holds up a hand to halt me.
"It is her right Abalon. I'd do the same for Avery and so would you." he says and I nod while biting my lip to keep my mouth shut.
"Two thousand lashes no intervals after you reject my son."
"Agreed." Javier accepts before I can object. It'll be a miracle if he survives. I've seen my mother whip wolves before. It's a punishment she's perfected.
Ivan gasps and Alpha Tyke shushes him. I look towards the Enforcers hoping one of them would object but none do. They really can't. My mother has put forth her reprisal and Javier has accepted.
"Then it is settled. Beta Javier Morales will formally reject his mate Abalon Penn. Access to their pup is granted to Beta Javier on weekends as per Abalon's approval and alternating holidays. Retribution has been called for and Beta Javier has accepted. Two thousand lashes after the formal rejection and Abalon Penn shall remain in this territory." Enforcer Gary finally speaks and my limbs tremble at the finality of his tone. There is no room for any kinds of negotiations. We all know Javier might not walk out of this alive.
"Mom, will you keep Avery until I've recovered?" I ask and she nods.
"I'll have a guest room prepared for you." Alpha Tyke finally speaks and we nod.
"You can get Avery's things in my quarters." I whisper and my mother nods going back to my father's side still holding a sleeping Avery to his chest.
"Beta Javier and Abalon please remove your shirts and take a position before each other." Enforcer Bryan instructs us and we do as he says.
"Place your right hand against Beta Javier's chest, Javier do the same." I feel how wild his heart is beating and I'm positive he feels and hears mine.
"Foreheads together." We do that too and stare into each other's eyes. Javier is warm to the touch, eyes sad but shines with acceptance. I hate that he's not fighting this. I hate that he's not standing up for us. I'm grateful for it too. I'm glad he's not making more trouble for me.
"You may begin." I can hear Ivan's sobbing and Avery's cooing but I'm captured in Javier's eyes. In his scent. His skin against mine.
"Oh Goddess, I pray that you may accept my denunciation of my fated mate, Abalon Penn." Javier begins the recital and I breathe slowly waiting for the pain.
"I reject his heart being tied to mine." The first stab comes and I shudder and so does Javier. Rejections are done by the most dominant of the pair since they take the brunt of the pain. A submissive wolf can't handle the pain alone which is what would happen if we try to reject our more dominant mates. It's a sure death sentence.
"I reject his life being tied to mine." my insides coil tightly and I feel like upchucking everything in my stomach.
"I reject his bond." My heart feels as if it's in a vice grip. My mind flashes back to the day I had asked this very thing of Javier. My heart quivers and our foreheads press together with even more force.
Javier grits his teeth and so do I the more the pain intensifies. I gasp and pant, the same feelings I felt when I had my own heart in the palm of my hand assaults me and tears slip down my cheeks as I try to breathe. I try hard to get a little air into my lungs before I combust from heat and lack of oxygen.
We fall to our knees together, the both of us crying out. I don't understand why it's lasting this long. Normally after a few moments both wolves pass out or feel really weak but Javier and I are still writhing on the floor tangled together.
Javier's eyes are blown wide, his pupils shot and tears leak past the rims. He bites his lip till he draws blood. The spot where his hand is pressing against my chest is cold. Freezing and so is mine where I'm touching him.
I can vaguely hear my mother asking why it's taking so long. It's been almost fifteen minutes and yet I don't feel as if we are anywhere near the end.
I can hear one of the Enforcers talking. Something about both of us bonded very strongly at some point in our relationship.
Blood trickle down Javier's chin and the pain keeps coming. It's battering the both of us. Then finally it feels as if the tension inside me snaps after what feels like an eternity passes. I feel nothing for a second until my core uncoils.
Shaky, weak, close to passing out. That's how I feel. I can't breathe properly. I can't see well. It's not tears that blur my vision for a few moments and when it clears all I see is Javier.
Javier is panting as he removes his hand from my skin. I look at him still. My wild is not compelling me to be with him anymore. Our ritual was a success.
Why do I still feel all this love for him?
My father picks me up placing me on a chair and I watch as my mother brandishes her favorite whip while Javier kneels before us. His back offered to her and yet he doesn't look away from me. He still looks upon me with those eyes of a lover and my heart whispers that it wants that.
My wild side still wants his eyes to caress my being as if I'm his. I still want his beast to call to mine. I want his hands to hold me and his lips to whisper that he loves me.
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A/N
Love you all so much.